And so suddenly it's "in" to be a girl that loves video games. All that "Just because I have tits doesn't mean I can't belt out the headshots" and shit.

I'm not saying I'm against girls playing video games, in fact, I wholly encourage it, as you'll see. My beef lies in the fact that the chicks that claim to be hardcore gamers aren't what they claim to be. They're just for that elusive title that the nerd boys get a hard-on over.

So, what is "hardcore" for them, exactly? Every time I see a gung-ho gaming enthusiast of the opposite gender, they're rattling on about something by SquareEnix. Or, more specifically, the characters (almost chiefly girly-looking dudes, and usually with longer hair) in it, and their perverted, homo-erotic fantasies. You know what, I'm fine with that, Because I don't judge people by what gets them off (though that's a discussion for another day).

What bugs me is the fact that when you offer said gal something that isn't a flighty, turn-based polygonal novel in motion, or some sort of (possibly cutesy) puzzle game, they get all dismissive and oblivious and such. Most of the time they just brush off any suggestion of the sort. Even if they do humor you, though... Fighting games? Too complicated, or, God forbid, violent. Shooters? Shmups? Too intense. Platformers? Maybe. She might play it for a few hours at best, but indifferently.

So, you're a gamer, eh? WRONG. You're not good at games. You're good at pressing a button and watching a story go by. Anything else, anything that requires more effort than picking moves from a list, anything when you don't dictate the pace you're rocking, and it's no good. Don't even say getting good at the games you don't like are a "waste of time". No, clicking the same attacks that've been burned into your muscle memory so your little spiky-haired buddy onscreen grows to the umpteenth level, wasting tens of hundreds of hours of your precious time, is. When you play that shit, you aren't getting better at games, you're just coaxing numbers on a screen to exponentially increase, and that's nothing to be proud of. Congratulations, you've spent a hundred and twenty hours sitting on your fucking couch. What an honor it is to talk to you.

If you claim yourself to be a girl gamer, and this description suits you, your rank should be stripped. Go play some Street Fighter or R-Type and come back when you know what a quarter circle is. The gaming culture and universe is gigantic; Step out of your goddamned comfort zone and buck up to the more intense shit that isn't sugar-coated.

By the way, although it sounds like it, this isn't a full-fledged assault on chicks who love video games. I'd love for the stereotype above to be proven totally wrong, if by even one dame. C'mon, prove me wrong!

P.S. Even a handful of male gamers fit the criteria I've spewed. That unsettles me.