Right then, so lately there's been a lot of hate going round here.
That's not to say that there is or ever has been a time of absolute peace, but the ''go fuck yourself'' attitude has its ups and downs.

Now is one of those ups.
I'd like to be the first this season to extend a formal ''Go fuck yourself with a jackhammer'' to the following people.
First up, so as not to overdose you dear readers from originality, we have...

The fav whores.
Please apply 200 newtons worth of force to make a small gap between your heads and your asses. Please realize that the favourites system was not meant to be used solely for the purpose of inflating a bullshit statistic and actually meant as a way to bookmark art you like, art that inspires you and is conveniently placed on your userpage so you can look back on it for when you need inspiration.

The Politics forum.
On one hand, you have your agenda. In front of the other hand, is my exposed anus.
Lets get one thing straight people, and I belive I speak for the VAST majority of human kind when I say that, the human anal cavity is and was never meant to be forcefully pentrated by your warped ideas of how the world should, should not and can not be run.
I don't know about you rest of you, but I get severe alergic reactions when shits is forced up a one way street that disagrees with my traffic rules.

Help With Life.
What do the method of how your eleven year old boyfriend dumped you, the current color of your nails and your iminent suicide all have in common?
I, along with every other Joe, Jane and Jenny do not give a shit and would probably rip out your ovaries or testicles if you so much as tried to garner attention in real life as you do in this god forsaken place.
If the dark day ever comes that I hold a position of power on here (Vegas odds are 10^87691223571: 0.0001), I'll be sure to allow suicide suggestions to be used in every thread that the poster threatens of off himself in.
It's high time we took the phrase ''Assisted suicide'' just a little more litteral.

Death notes.
Any staff member on dA probably has a fairly large folder filled with text files of death threats from some deviant or another.
People who write the staff death notes, please go take a look in the mirror. Now then, bash your heads into the glass about ninety times and look into the remains of your mirror.
If stupidity had a physical manfestation, what you're seeing in the broken glass would be it.
Who ever thought that threatning someone on the far side of the world with an electronic message, the most impersonal kind of communication known to man, to change some aspect of a site that they pay for no part of, please step forward. I want you to meet my little friend Zyklon B.
You two make friends in this air tight chamber.

One line complaint threads.
There is one person on all of dA, how can make a one liner complaint thread. That person is the object. He's earns the right because he's just so goddamn blunt and to the point.
The rest of you are not posers, you just fail horribly at it. Get with the program and realize that until you have enough bluntness to stamp out iron, you're not going to get away with a one liner.
Where the fuck did the originality train drop you off, anyawy? Well, the rest of us are langusishing in California, too bloody bad your enjoying a rice paddy in red fucking china.

Thumbshare forum.
That's right bitches, the Thumbshare forum; cesspit of all things deviant, no mans land, the place that should not be, DeviantCHERNOBYL, los thumbsharos diablo, the end of the line of though and so on so forth for about nine paragraphs.
You know what one in about every three poster in there needs?
To put away the fucking laptop and go back to secondary school. It might just be me, but the VAST, VAST, VAST, VAST,VAST majority of people in there seem to be in a zombie like trance; a world where the words ''grammar'', ''sentense structure'' and ''reading skills'' are enough to get you burned at the stake and sold as diet Solient Green.
Recently, Balla (you people should know how I'm talking about, ) made a thread in Thumbshare that deviated somewhat from the flock. How, you may ask?
The rules were simple: Find a piece that's NOT your own, in need of some critique and post it.
Thus far, we have 11 posters that managed to read the bloody rules. AND THEN THE SAME AMOUNT OF POSTERS WHO DID NOT.
Do you people press the button for Thumbshare and suddenly reboot into robot mode? Tell me you people don't just click a thread, scroll to the reply button, post a few thumbs and exit in five seconds flat, because that's what it fucking looks like to me.

12-16 year olds in general.
You think 12-16 and you probably think ''logicplz'' or ''reasonplz'' because USUALY, these people lack both.
There are however, a select few among that age group who can actually debate matters with the afformentioned skills and do so quite well, I might add.
BUT HOLD THE PHONE and stop the music, because we seemed to miss something. Why am I complaining about them?
Oh no, it's not those select few people, it's the rest of the agegroup that I have a bone to pick with a axe, Eugene.
Take your every day browsing of the Help With Life forum. You stumble upon a stupid thread (one in three, I shit you not) by a pre-teen.
So, you whip out good old sparky, that flamethrower your mother (read: shadowgamers) gave you after you first got served and you empty a few tanks of Napalm on the poster in a cohearant, logical way. Because much like napalm, logic sticks.
This is where the music stops, the DJ has a heart attack and that rave party you were enjoying turns into the LA riots in a small, confined space.
At the first sight of argument, that pre-teen lauches a full on ''omfg ur just ayin that bcuz i'm 12''.
Damn fucking right I am. I judge people by first impressions. More than likely, your first impression will be either a reply or thread, since I read what you post sooner than I read your page.
So if you're going overboard with the non-cohearency, calling shit on everything that moves and being an asshat, you're damn right I'll attack your for your age. You surrender the right to post in an ageism free environment the moment you become an asshat. I'm not duty bound to respect you by default, your earn that and along with it, I respect your age.

People who complain about the forum mods.
Take a good hard look at the dAmn forum. Now take a good hard look at Thumbshare. Both are a good example of what happens if you either have too much moderation (most of everything locked) and what happens when you have too little moderation (Bullshit threads left, right and center).
We need the mods. The mods offer us a way to pitch in by reporting threads in such places as #forum.
However, you people (You know who you are, I'll bet) do not have any right to go ''Gosh, there are like, no mods around ever when I need them. Why don't they just fire the ones we have and hire me and my possy so they can quit ruining my life...''.
Mods are a privledge and more importantly, they ARE human. I know this sounds hard to belive, but their idea of a good night entertainment sure as hell doesn't involve trekking through HWL, Thumbshare and Deviants and stalking for threads to close.
The mods are for convenience only. There are staff members who can lock threads but they no doubt have better things to do tha stalk around afformentioned forums going ''Go ahead, make my day...punk'' with the recent threads.
The mods are not staff, they're volinteers and do not recieve pay and thus, should NOT be expected to go die hard 24/7, nor should any employe of the site.

Fursecutors.
Just using that term has no doubt bought me a ticket to hell, first class.
Seriously though, did anthropomorphism eat your dog? Did a furry walk up to your bedroom window and molest you on a bi weekly basis while you were a child? Did a furry kill your family in a driveby during Anthrocon?
I should fucking hope not, because unless a furry did that, get the fuck away.
Yes, the furry fandom is a strange thing and has become somewhat of an umbrella for other freakier fetishes to shelter under but is it too much to ask that you leave it be?
Sure, a furry porn joke there and a link to fchan there when you post in HWL is all fine and dandy but once you get to the point where you're harrasing other people simply because you do not deem their hobby to be moraly justified, you need to take a dirtnap, FAST.
It's not like the collective furry fandom has massed up and is camping on your front lawn, demanding that you accept them for who they are so as long as it's online, you ALWAYS have the option of not seeking out the fuckers.

The dAmn forum.
If dA ever had a great war that just went ON AND ON AND ON AND ON, there's not a doubt in anyones mind that it would be waged in this forum. Did reading the forum description ever occure to you?
Perhaps those twenty other threads with the locked emoticon that touch simliar topics say something about the forum?
Perchance do the the legions of sticky threads have anything to do with the forum?
No, of course not. Just go on and tread over the skeletons of past threads locked and stick your penis of a thread into the snout of the dragon that is the posting box, then blow a wad as you press submit and have your pelvis turned into a sea of flames when you throw a hissyfit of equal magnitude when the thread gets locked.
To semi-quote Samuel, ''ENGLISH MOTHER FUCKER, CAN YOU READ IT?''

The upcomming invaders of deviantNORMANDY.
It might just be me, but it seems that we the forum goers are about to face what the germans faced when the allies landed on D-day.
Here's how it's going to pan out.
At dawn somtime in the next month or so, there's going to be a massive influx of users.
Before we know it, we'll all be rudely awakend from oppressing asshats by the sound of Artillery threads being launched into our land, in our bloody faces.
Then, they'll take the beaches (AKA: Deviants) and set up positions, while we're raining down a hail of machinepwn fire at them in vain, since there are too many.
Then, they'll call in some ALLCAPSSTRIKES and kill of a few forumers by getting them REALLY pissed, in a somewhat suicidal manner via insults and userpage bombing eventualy resulting in the ban of both a regular and prick.
Soon, they'll take the cliffs that are Complaints and from then on out, it's a loosing battle.

WHY OH, WHY MUST THIS HAPPEN?
_{A quick note, this will have been my first summer since joining dA and thus, all apocalyptic speculations are based purely on the reaction of the older deviants to the mention of summer vacation.}

people who knowingly miscatagorize.
You browse dA. A shamefuly secret indeed, but much like downloading cd's, we all do it.
You are browsing your gallery of choice and everything is just peacy. Then suddenly, you notice something out of place, such as Sonic fanart in the SCI-FI LITERATURE gallery.
Naturaly, you're still high from the high of browsing the sci-fi lit gallery, which is just bitching to begin with and you think to yourself ''surely this is just a sad mistake, may be I should save a GD a few minutes and sort this out myself''.
So, you post saying that it's the wrong catagory. You wait a few minutes for a reply and as sure as shadowgamers will make avatars, there lies the reply to your comment, in your message center.
But what's this?
Apparenlty, the deviant miscatagorized ''beacuase it will make my art stad out more becuse people will notice sonic fanart in literator gallery more than in fan art...''
There is a god damn reason why we have galleries to begin with, that reason being that I do _NOT_ want to have sonic fanart shoved in my face while I'm looking for the next chapter on how the world someone made up ends.
If your art fails to garner attention, then it's the fucking work itself, not the bloody gallery.
For the love of god, confine the shit to the crapper.

And that concludes this complaint.

--
''I was brought up with the notion that anyone willing to spend money in a stupid manner deserves to part with said money. Some people call that extortion, others call it dishonesty, and the law calls it con-artistry. I just think of it as economical darw