Written whilst kicking off tits like pairs of dead mushrooms.

God, I am so fucking sick of being called an Elitist like it’s a bad thing. First of all, fuck all of you. Fuck DA. Fuck Friendster and Myspace and AOL Instant Messenger. Fuck ‘texting,’ ‘chirping,’ and every shallow pretentious bullshit that all you assholes love, your synthetic little communities where you can finally feel safe, never confronting anything, especially your own fucking filler group of friends, your units of fair weather human possessions with whom you surround yourselves.

Secondly, fuck this shitty goddamned pop culture centering itself on Japan. Fuck Japan, and fuck all you fan kids that think you’re Japanese. Fuck Yoshinoya with its shitty-ass teriyaki sauce, and all those other Anglo-friendly Asian Food places. Just because you eat there doesn’t make you a Zen Buddhist, you fucking cocks.

Fuck anime. Fuck the Yaoi fangirls. Fuck the endless amount of fan-art that so few of us even care about. Fuck Full Metal Alchemist, Dragon Ball Z, and Rounini Kenshin. Fuck Naruto, and those stupid-ass headbands with the metal plate. Fuck J-Rock. Fuck Gackt, Dir en Grey, Malice Mizer, Despair’s Ray, Guitar Wolf, Pillows, Utada Hikaru, and all those other fucking assholes. “You’re easy-peasy. I’m Japanesey,” What the fuck is that shit?

Fuck Little Apple Dolls, Fruits Magazine, movies like Suicide Club, Ju-On, Versus, and Battle Royale. Fuck the Anime Expo in Southern California. Fuck the cos-players, especially those goddamn fat white girls who dress as Japanese school girls, the types that squeak out some trite Japanese phrase at every which opportunity, doing so in their best ‘put your tentacle in me’ voice.

Fuck Hentai and the Otakus that watch them. Fuck the phrase, “That’s OK, I’m Cauc-Asian.” Fuck Yellow Fever and that Madame Butterfly American mentality, blatant as it is offensive, and the way Asian women are portrayed by ignorant no-talent misogynist hacks like Quentin Tarantino.

Fuck my Jewish boss with his pretty Asian wife, resenting her in fact because their child looks Asian. Fuck Lucy Liu and Zhang Ziyi for perpetuating that allure, reminding us all to fly over to Thailand and fuck ourselves some twelve year olds, the latter more so for her crooked ass teeth. Fuck Gwen Stefani and her Shinjuku Tour bullshit. Fuck Tom Cruise and his Oscar hungry role in Last Samurai. Fuck Ted Leo and his trendy little CD cover, some vestigial homage to how everything Japanese just happens to be cool. Fuck William Hung and his ridiculous fifteen minutes of fame, the sudden hands across America for some down-syndrome retard.

Fuck Asian America for being the good little minority. Fuck the university I went to with its sick plethora of Asian Greeks, the Black-ified Asians, the White-ified Asians. Fuck this complete lack of a distinct cultural identity in the here and now. Fuck the way Asian men are portrayed in American Media, intelligent, articulate, witty, a great friend with a great sense of humor. Oh, and I almost forgot, completely asexual.

Fuck Jet Li and his boyish simplicity. Fuck Jackie Chan for being such a fucking sellout. Fuck Michelle Kwan for being our All-American Girl, with her big-ass nose and jacked-up teeth. Fuck Margaret Cho for being so repulsive. Fuck Tara Patrick for going on national television and stating that she sees herself as a role model to young women.

Fuck how trendy it used to be to have Chinese characters emblazoned on your skin. Fuck the Chinese character for love, and fuck all those self-centered assholes who’ve asked that I write for them their names in brush calligraphy. Fuck those two high school girls who were standing beside me as I drank a Starbucks. Fuck their conversation about how artistic and fascinating Asian customs are, rambling on and on as if I were not even there, sterilizing the culture as if it’s theirs to sterilize. Fuck their ignorance. Fuck their stupidity. Fuck their pretentiousness. Fuck their false assumptions that because I’m Asian I must be Japanese, and that because they watch anime, they understand how Asians are. Fuck the way people look at me when they actually hear how frustrated I am with all this fucking nonsense. Fuck the way I’m supposed to be stoic, reserved, and without outward expression. What; like a good little Asian? Fuck you!

Fuck the word Asian. Fuck Mr. Miyagi and Yo-Yo Ma. Fuck Godzilla, school girls, sushi, and giant robots. Fuck all you horny fanboys that lube yourselves over Asuka and Rei. Fuck coy fish and samurais and the movie The Fast and the Furious. Goddamn fucking rice rocket bullshit cock sucking image whore motherfuckers.

--
Eat bubbling Rhino poo and swim in the sea of flames!