My thoughts and emotions are a writhing mess of disgust.
I have no motivation, I procrastinate everything, I'm sleep deprived, confused, and guilty.
I blame band. We have hour and a half practices every day, in addition to two hours on Tuesday, in addition to the entire friday afterschool till 10pm taken by a football game.
I just don't know what to do anymore.
Anything feels difficult. I want to be set free.
They say it should be over by the end of October.
But then they tease us with "play off" games.
Marching band sucks, and I don't even march, I just stand on the sidelines unable to do anything.
I just don't know anymore, and I do feel lonely in band. Too many people after all.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know how to form everything into "correct" thoughts.
I just know that band screws me over.