Spelling errors in erotic literature
To the porn writers of the interwebs:
Thank you for providing me endless hours of fapping material. I appreciate it. I really do, and I regret that I haven't contributed as much to the oeuvre as I might have thus far. Pay it forward and all that.
However: Is it too much to ask... Is it really too fucking much to ask... that you proofread the goddamn thing before you post it? Nothing takes me out of what we might call "the moment" faster than an incorrectly chosen homophone. (Well, OK. My cat jumping on my lap is kind of a mood-killer as well. But let's not split hairs.) Here are some examples:
Shudder/shutter: One is a brief, involuntary tremor, such as one's sex partner might experience when stimulated in an erogenous zone. The other is a thing you close over a window.
Chute/shoot: One is a channel or shaft or tube. The other is what you do with a gun. It's "poop chute" if one is "knocking at the back door", not "poop shoot". (Unless you're writing scat porn which I DON'T read, thank you very much.)
Thank you for providing me endless hours of fapping material. I appreciate it. I really do, and I regret that I haven't contributed as much to the oeuvre as I might have thus far. Pay it forward and all that.
However: Is it too much to ask... Is it really too fucking much to ask... that you proofread the goddamn thing before you post it? Nothing takes me out of what we might call "the moment" faster than an incorrectly chosen homophone. (Well, OK. My cat jumping on my lap is kind of a mood-killer as well. But let's not split hairs.) Here are some examples:
Shudder/shutter: One is a brief, involuntary tremor, such as one's sex partner might experience when stimulated in an erogenous zone. The other is a thing you close over a window.
Chute/shoot: One is a channel or shaft or tube. The other is what you do with a gun. It's "poop chute" if one is "knocking at the back door", not "poop shoot". (Unless you're writing scat porn which I DON'T read, thank you very much.)
Areola/oriole: One is the sensitive, pigmented region surrounding a human nipple. The other is a small, colorful passerine songbird.
Prepuce/precipice: The foreskin (or, in the other kind of porn I don't read, the clitoral hood) vs. a near-vertical cliff.
Turgid/turbid: Not even homophones, these words are much more dissimilar in meaning than their spellings suggest.
And don't even get me started on their/there/they're, two/too/to, or the difference between "imply" and "infer".
tl;dr Amateur porn writers can't spell
Bonus complaint: Their plotting, when they attempt a plot, often sucks too.
Bonus bonus complaint: The logo. Stop complaining about it.
Prepuce/precipice: The foreskin (or, in the other kind of porn I don't read, the clitoral hood) vs. a near-vertical cliff.
Turgid/turbid: Not even homophones, these words are much more dissimilar in meaning than their spellings suggest.
And don't even get me started on their/there/they're, two/too/to, or the difference between "imply" and "infer".
tl;dr Amateur porn writers can't spell
Bonus complaint: Their plotting, when they attempt a plot, often sucks too.
Bonus bonus complaint: The logo. Stop complaining about it.
Comments127
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This thread has one of the best titles I've seen in the "complaints" forum.
Not to do with written porn but I absolutely HATE it when writers use "breath" and "breathe" interchangeably. It should be "I can't breathe" not "I can't breath".
Yeah, that kind of thing will make you loose your mind.
Also, I see what you did there
It's pretty hard to type with one hand.
Aww, beat me to it
It happens with amateur fanfic writers as well.
There are professional fanfic writers?
Sorry for the misleading wording! I had intended "amateur" to mean "unskilled" as opposed to "doing something not as a living".
Just a joke. 
Oh, I get it! 
I can't fap to amateur fanfic.
I wouldn't be surprised.
I don't read porn.
Related note: people who use "defiantly" instead of "definitely" can shove a rusted corkscrew in their anus
And I'm looking at at least half of Complaints
And I'm looking at at least half of Complaints
A rusted corkscrew? Exactly what kind of porn have you been reading, anyway?
I don't read porn, I write it 
Because writing it is way more fun! 
Drawing it is more fun![Kyouko Toshinou (Sparkle Nose Bleed) [V1]](https://fc04.deviantart.net/fs70/f/2013/343/9/0/kyouko_toshinou__sparkle_nose_bleed___v1__by_jerikuto-d6uk17o.gif)
Probably German.
Ah. Yeah, they'd go there.