So, for reasons, I just moved in with some friends in L.A. It's nice being able to watch house for them while they're in Hawaii and stuff, but cats. Goddammit, cats. I love them. They're adorbs, but they're also my Kryptonite. And two live in the house.

I can't breathe around them. My lungs hate me right now. I thought I was getting better with this – my ex's parents had 3 cats and I barely had issues at their house which I visited daily. But my friends' cats are in a house a tenth the size of my ex's parents' so dander accumulates QUICK.

I've tried Singulair, benadryl, claritin – I've tried so many allergy meds over the years and none work on cats. My lungs are just plum fucked when it comes to cats. BUT I WANT TO CUDDLE THEM AND SCRATCH THEIR CHINS BUT IF I DO I WILL DIE.

Also, one of the two cats is 100% USDA Grade A cocknugget. There are two toy dogs here (zero allergies to dogs). When I let them outside, Bronson tries to slip out as well. I toll booth him at the door, and then he goes FULL EMO. I walk away and he swipes at my feet. For the next 90 minutes he jumps on tables and counters and swats shit onto the floor, then he picks fights with the dogs, all for no other reason than because

It's for your own good, cat. There's a Cambodian restaurant right next door. You're fucked if I let you outside.

Bonus complaint: I hate L.A. weather. I'm Nordic;I'm a Goth (capital G; ethnic Goth- not the edgy #notemo kids appropriating the name with their shitty subculture). I like weather cold and dark. I love snow. Fuck this sunshine bollocks. It did rain the other day, so there's that at least.

Non-sure-how-to-take-this-but-I'll-call-it-a-complaint: Two of my exes are trying to talk me into taking acid. Yes, LSD. I don't drink. I don't smoke. I've never even experimented with drugs. WTF? Where's this coming from? I don't even.

Pussy leads to heavy breathing.