Has she been diagnosed with anything? Vaginismus is caused by the PC muscle being stupid, so I don't think having the hymen removed would be beneficial (I mean, yeah it might cause it to hurt less, but if the hymen isn't the issue then it will still hurt a lot).
I doubt it. I don't know what she's thinking. And if she were to talk to me about it, I'd bet she'd beat around the bush to make her point because she's uncomfortable being open about sex. Maybe she's gotten better since the last time I talked to her about it, but . Last I heard it was more like vaginismus, but it was pretty vague.
Hm. She should probably get diagnosed (although from the sounds of things, she wouldn't want to see a gyno). I broke my hymen a long time ago and it didn't solve anything. It would suck for her to spend a lot of money on a surgery that might not even help :/
I dunno how you and your SIL get along, but you should definitely mention it to her if you're comfortable doing so. I've been like this for years, and it's such a huge relief to actually find out what's wrong with me. I mean, it does make me feel kind of embarrassed and weird, but at least I know what options are out there for me.