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February 11, 2013
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The Friend Zone

:iconkausawolf:
kausawolf Featured By Owner Feb 11, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
I see so many people nowadays complaining about being "friend-zoned" and it really irks me.
There is no such thing as the friend-zone. Being too good of a friend does not mean someone will not date you. It means if they happen to like you, then you guys will work really well together. The very best relationships come from being good friends first.
But that is IF the person likes you. You can't be friends with someone then when they end up not returning their feelings for you, blame your friendship! Blame that they just happened to not have feelings for you!
No sane person says, "Gosh I sure love spending all my time around someone and talking deeply with them and being around them, but we're just too close, so I better date someone I hardly know". And if someone thinks that then you can bet they are a teenager with no sense.
It literally makes NO sense to me that someone could think that a person turned them down because they are too good of friends.
Why can't someone simply not return your feelings because they don't like you? Why does it have to have a reason? Feelings don't always have rhyme or reason. Its just life, and if your going to be all upset about it at LEAST blame the real reason.

The worse part of the "friend-zone" is that people will try and NOT be friends with someone before they date them to avoid it. Which is sooo stupid. So many relationships fail because once you remove the romantic part of the relationship, they have nothing. They have no similar interests, they don't like doing the same things, they weren't friends underneath it all to support the romance. So many young people are polluting potential future relationships in fear of the "friend-zone", and they don't even realize it.

You can ask most anyone with a long term working relationship, and they will say they were friends first. Good, close friends. Best friends most of the time.
Yes, there are many people who date then become really good friends. But why risk so much more heartbreak just to avoid the "friend-zone"?

TL;DR
The "friend-zone" is stupid and people who actually think its a thing need to rethink how they view things.
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Devious Comments

:iconkinoc-kun:
Kinoc-Kun Featured By Owner Feb 17, 2013  Hobbyist Photographer
I haven't really been "friend-zoned" per se, but I have been "you are a creep that I would never date" zoned.

Granted after years of growing up and trying to better myself physically and mentally, I seem to actually be able to attract women's attention in a positive way as opposed to trying to just get in their pants.
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:iconkausawolf:
kausawolf Featured By Owner Feb 18, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
:C I'm saury you think women think you are creepy oar have told you that you are.

But its always good to better ourselves X3 So that's good!
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:iconengelsblau:
Engelsblau Featured By Owner Feb 17, 2013
:thumbsup:
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:iconxannijn:
Xannijn Featured By Owner Feb 16, 2013  Student Filmographer
The friend-zone is BS indeed. Just something guys invented to make it feel as if a greater force stops them from being in a relationship with the girl because they're such nice guys- the idea of the friend-zone. While she's in fact not interested in him at all, because he's either unattractive/a douche/incompatible or all of the above. :shrug:
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:iconkinrift:
Kinrift Featured By Owner Feb 16, 2013
The concept of friendzoning is retarded. :nod:
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:iconatlantech:
Atlantech Featured By Owner Feb 13, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I agree with you, and I've been trying to point this out to several people I've met.
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:iconkausawolf:
kausawolf Featured By Owner Feb 13, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Some people are too thick headed to listen to reason, but good luck getting them to understand!
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:iconatlantech:
Atlantech Featured By Owner Feb 13, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
yeah I've noticed that myself, nothing you can do but sit back and watch them suffer.

:popcorn:
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:iconelmida:
Elmida Featured By Owner Feb 13, 2013
Also: I must be the internet's uber mega bitch from hell, I friend zone all the men, being a lesbian.
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:iconkausawolf:
kausawolf Featured By Owner Feb 13, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
No, haven't you listened to the men on the internet?
You aren't a lesbian, you just haven't found the right man yet.
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:iconelmida:
Elmida Featured By Owner Feb 14, 2013
Oh yeah, of course.

I actually had one of my forum mates (different)forum tell me that... I wanted to punch him in the face.
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:iconkausawolf:
kausawolf Featured By Owner Feb 15, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Sigh, some people...
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:iconelmida:
Elmida Featured By Owner Feb 13, 2013
And "nice guys" are just spineless douchewaffles.
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:iconcomrademonaco:
comrademonaco Featured By Owner Feb 12, 2013
You took the words right out of my mouth, good chap. :iconbravoplz:
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:iconkausawolf:
kausawolf Featured By Owner Feb 13, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
X3
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:iconblack-tiger-of-evil:
Black-Tiger-of-Evil Featured By Owner Feb 12, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I never really knew much about this 'friend zone' thing aside from looking up its definition, but you made very good points on why it's such a ridiculous term. I do think it's unfair to blame the other person for not returning your feelings or your own friendship for 'getting in the way', especially if like you mentioned, the person only starts this friendship in hope for a future relationship.
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:iconkausawolf:
kausawolf Featured By Owner Feb 13, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
When I was a teenager we never heard of the friendzone, its a new term I suppose or my highschool was really behind.
Anyway its so stupid and as I hear more of it it just makes me so mad XC
Its quite a plague on this generations relationships I'd say.
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:iconzodiacgal:
zodiacgal Featured By Owner Feb 12, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
:iconbwavoplz: :iconclapplz: :iconclappingplz: :clap: :iconclapclapplz:
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:iconkausawolf:
kausawolf Featured By Owner Feb 12, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
:3 Thank you~
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:iconasheiya:
asheiya Featured By Owner Feb 12, 2013  Student Digital Artist
I came here expecting the post to be about someone bitching about being freind-zoned
this was a really good surprise and I give this post one giant thumbs up for being 100 % true
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:iconkausawolf:
kausawolf Featured By Owner Feb 12, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
X3 Thank you~
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:iconnicholai-nii:
Nicholai-nii Featured By Owner Feb 12, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
I always thought this was a stupid term. :/ Sure, it's a heartbreaker when you like your best friend or something and that don't like you that way, but saying you got friend zoned doesn't really make any sense...
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:iconkausawolf:
kausawolf Featured By Owner Feb 12, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Exactly!
D: People nowadays just need something else to blame I suppose.
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:iconnicholai-nii:
Nicholai-nii Featured By Owner Feb 12, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
It sure seems like it. :noes:
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:iconkittythenekoalien:
KittyTheNekoAlien Featured By Owner Feb 12, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
I never understood it either! I remembered once asking a guy out once, and he said he doesn't date friends :/ If anything, you should get to know a person first before considering dating them! I wonder if people do this because if the relationship fails, things aren't as awkward by just not hanging out with them, or ruining a friendship?
In my current relationship, me and my fiancee see each other as best friends as well as partners. We became instant friends at first, then less than two months and a junior prom later, we started dating >w< I guess the fact that we could really relate to each other from the start helps.
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:iconkausawolf:
kausawolf Featured By Owner Feb 12, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
X3 I'm glad you found someone to be with!
And see? Being friends first probably made things a million times easier!
I'm shocked people would avoid being friends first D:
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:iconkittythenekoalien:
KittyTheNekoAlien Featured By Owner Feb 12, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
I have been in a good relationship with him for almost 4 years now >w< Funny though how many teen relationships tend to not work out, but I say having a high school sweetheart is a pretty big accomplishment.
I wonder what people go off of if they want to date someone, but AREN'T friends with them. Do they date them purely from looks or something? I mean, if you might have the possibility of living with each other in the future, don't you want to make sure they are actually compatible with your feelings and beliefs?
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:iconkausawolf:
kausawolf Featured By Owner Feb 13, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
I had a high school sweetheart. We dated for 4 1/2 years and broke up last July.
So actually having a working one is a very big accomplishment I'd say! I hope you guys stay together :3

Or at the very least, what do they DO together?
I've known friends where the guy was a huge gamer, and the girl was really into makeup and shopping and hated games and I just look at them and think, "What do they possibly do together?"
Man the sex must be really good or something.
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:iconkittythenekoalien:
KittyTheNekoAlien Featured By Owner Feb 13, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
That sucks :c
But yeah, getting to know each others interests first sounds, I don't know, pretty smart. I mean hell, I'm just glad that with my fiancee, pretty much everything we are interested in, the other is either similarly one of our own hobbies or something we find intriguing. Like for example,, Me and my fiancee love video games, but at the same time, I'm into art and he takes interest in my art, while he's into computers and programming, I take interest and vaguely understand it, but I think it's so neat XD
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:iconunreasonablereasons:
UnreasonableReasons Featured By Owner Feb 11, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
A friend of mine just got legit friend-zoned. He was moderately involved with his friend for a while, and then the friend turned around and said "Please don't like me. I need us to just be friends."
He was picked up and placed in the corner marked "friend-zone."
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:iconkausawolf:
kausawolf Featured By Owner Feb 11, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
No, the person didn't return his feelings.
There is no friend-zone.
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:iconunreasonablereasons:
UnreasonableReasons Featured By Owner Feb 12, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
From what it sounded like when he told me, there was a return of feelings. Just different intentions. Thus, the friend-zone.

It does exist. The mistake people make is in thinking it's inescapable.
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:iconkausawolf:
kausawolf Featured By Owner Feb 12, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
A return of feelings but different intentions? What do you mean?

Also, you'll never be able to convince me there is a friendzone, as it can always be explained as something else.
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:iconunreasonablereasons:
UnreasonableReasons Featured By Owner Feb 14, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
From what he told me, the friend liked him back but valued their friendship too much to start something. That to me, is the definition of a friendzone.
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:iconkausawolf:
kausawolf Featured By Owner Feb 15, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
I wonder if thats true or they just didn't want to turn them down, so they covered it up with a lie.
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:iconunreasonablereasons:
UnreasonableReasons Featured By Owner Feb 16, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Even if that's the case, my point should still stand that there is a reasonable definition for the phrase "friend zone."
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:iconkausawolf:
kausawolf Featured By Owner Feb 17, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Yes, a reasonable one.
Not anything like its currently used though.
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:iconnicetints:
nicetints Featured By Owner Feb 12, 2013  Student Digital Artist
I thought that's what the friend-zone was.
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:iconkausawolf:
kausawolf Featured By Owner Feb 12, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
The two examples I've heard of the Friendzone are:
1. Person A befriends person B simply to date them/get into their pants. When person B doesn't return the feelings, person A abandons the friendship because it was a lose for them.
2. Two people are friends, person A develops feelings for person B which are not returned. Person A blames that they were "too good of friends" to date, and that person B can't see them as more than a friend.

Now heres whats wrong with both of those:
1. Kinda obvious. Its a huge dick move to only befriend someone to date them or get into their pants. You should befriend someone because they seem cool or nice or whatever. If you want to date them, then tell them outright, don't pretend you just want to be friends.
2. Most people don't think someone is too good of a friend to date. They just don't have feelings for them. It would literally be no different than if they weren't friends and they didn't have feelings for them.

So the friendzone is a made up concept to blame when the person you like does not like you back.
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:iconnicetints:
nicetints Featured By Owner Feb 12, 2013  Student Digital Artist
If someone does not return feelings for you, and turns you down, but wants to remain friends; that isn't putting you in a friendzone? What is it, then? What else could it be?
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:iconkausawolf:
kausawolf Featured By Owner Feb 12, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Its just being friends. Its simple, the friendzone is over complicating it.
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:iconcalstor:
Calstor Featured By Owner Feb 12, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Unrequited love.
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:iconnicetints:
nicetints Featured By Owner Feb 12, 2013  Student Digital Artist
okay
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:iconsadistskunk:
SadistSkunk Featured By Owner Feb 11, 2013  Professional Digital Artist
If you like someone and they don't like you that way, you move on!
You don't bitch about it, feel bitter forever and ruin the friendship..
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:icon3wyl:
3wyl Featured By Owner Feb 11, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Unrequited love is a thing of the past, clearly. It's all about being FRIENDZONED!

You can ask most anyone with a long term working relationship, and they will say they were friends first. Good, close friends. Best friends most of the time.

I agree with that. :nod:
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:iconkausawolf:
kausawolf Featured By Owner Feb 11, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
:3 Thank you, glad someone does.
Maybe I'm just too old fashioned that when I get rejected I just feel sad and don't start throwing blame around like its rotten tomatoes.
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:icon3wyl:
3wyl Featured By Owner Feb 11, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Hmm..

I think it's an odd world we live in, especially where 'love' is concerned. :no:
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:iconendeavor-to-freefall:
The only time I think it's legitimately the friend zone is when this person knows of their feelings but intentionally manipulates them into constant suspension. As for people attempting to skip the friend part and go straight in, I can see your point but it's also a gigantic waste of time in many cases. If you're friends with someone first and both develop feelings that's all fine and dandy, like Chandler and Monica or something, but actively trying to be a friend because you want a relationship is just inefficient and misleading to the other person.
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:iconkausawolf:
kausawolf Featured By Owner Feb 11, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
"but actively trying to be a friend because you want a relationship is just inefficient and misleading to the other person."
:C Ugh yeah. It sickens me that people do that.
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:iconsronivera:
SROnivera Featured By Owner Feb 11, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
I've seen a good number of people get friendzoned. :D

Funny shit when you're dealing with someone that you've obviously didn't like in the first place, but yes. I agree that people fearing of the friendzone or is using the friendzone because they're afraid of the relationship turning as bad their previous romance-less relationships is just plain retarded. Though for those that do end up in these kinds of social situations the only advice that I would give to them is to just find someone else. Look for someone else that's more or less just like them. Boom. Friendship follow by a mutual crush and love will follow. It's the only way I'd see it at least.
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