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February 2, 2013
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An astronomically distressing turn of events before the stovetop.

:iconblackvragor:
blackvragor Featured By Owner Feb 2, 2013  Student Traditional Artist
There are few things that occur in my life that simply make me wish I had been straight up smashed during their happenings, as to justify my awe-inspiring amount of stupidity.

Today, I bore the weight of a close friend meddling in the forbidden land of "I-quit-okay-bye" in the form of haphazard use of anti-anxiety pills, having to fetch a considerable amount of energy drinks for her seeing as a trip to the hospital would have complicated things in her life even further for business reasons. The experience forced me to take action and be of some service to someone who needed me the most out of anyone else in her life, because I'm apparently a professional hopeless, depressed person who knows exactly what to say and do in the case you've just about had enough of your own trials. I do not necessarily object to this, so...

Surprisingly, this was not the worst thing that happened today. That was all fine and dandy in its own convoluted, twisted way, since nothing seriously catastrophic happened, right?

The immense horror I was faced with shortly afterwards resulted in a certain cinematic, science-fiction sort of response. I had not eaten anything the entire day, so I took it upon myself to concoct one of my delectable, award-winning, mouth watering culinary masterpieces. My egg sandwich is quite popular with all the people living here in my one bedroom apartment. Needless to say, I was excited to hear that I was going to make a classic blackvragor egg sandwich...

I procured the necessary ingredients from my fridge, unbeknownst to me the devious nature of a carton containing only two eggs on its far right and its whimsical distribution of weight. Thus, I foolishly gathered what I needed in an entire arm load. I placed the bread on the counter, the cheese, the....wait where has that wily carton of eggs gone? Oh yes, it is plunging toward the floor at what appears to be light speed, flipping me the bird the entire way down.

It goes without saying that the downward trajectory of the only two eggs left in the entire apartment proved to be problematic, and I immediately burst into an animalistic utterance consisting an earth shattering volume.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

splat.

I stood in a stupor as I gaped at the liquid remnants of what was to be the key ingredient in my breakfast delight. They mockingly spread across the floor without a purposeful direction. I felt robbed. I immediately became insulted by the tragic, uncanny nature of my situation. I was disgusted with myself.

"HOW COULD I DROP THE FUCKING EGGS? WHY!?" After a moment of lament, I put away the now useless ingredients and retreated to my burrow of a bedroom and pouted until my cat told me to knock it off and give him food.

...*sob*

Also, if I actually had a life, I'm sure this would make for one completely superficial complaint, considering my introductory tale, which indeed made for a previously distraught mood. I figure after dealing with what I did, the smashing of my eggs just made the day exponentially worse.


Carry on.
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Devious Comments

:iconmisterkhact:
MisterKhact Featured By Owner Feb 3, 2013
Chicken puberty.

mmmmmm
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:iconblackvragor:
blackvragor Featured By Owner Feb 3, 2013  Student Traditional Artist
:iconeewplz:
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:iconcindarellapop:
CindarellaPop Featured By Owner Feb 2, 2013  Student Traditional Artist
I know this feeling. Too well. Shitty day, and then you DROP YOUR FOOD AUGH WHY GOD WHY
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:iconsomnusvorus:
Somnusvorus Featured By Owner Feb 2, 2013   Digital Artist
I would be extremely pissed off if I dropped the last few eggs in the house, especially if I was craving them, like today, I was really craving carbonara, I too only had two eggs left, but it was a glorious carbonara. :la:

It could be worse though, you could of dropped a carving knife and it went through your foot. =B I hope your mate will be okay. :hug:
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:iconblackvragor:
blackvragor Featured By Owner Feb 2, 2013  Student Traditional Artist
If I had dropped a carving knife through my foot, this post would be decidedly more interesting, haha.


Seems she's fine now, by the way. Thanks :)
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:iconsomnusvorus:
Somnusvorus Featured By Owner Feb 2, 2013   Digital Artist
I dropped a carving knife into my hand when I was eight. I still have the scar there too. D=

No problem. =3
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:iconsadistskunk:
SadistSkunk Featured By Owner Feb 2, 2013  Professional Digital Artist
I've still got like three boxes of eggs in my fridge. :la:

I hope your friend will feel better soon..
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:iconblackvragor:
blackvragor Featured By Owner Feb 2, 2013  Student Traditional Artist
Why so many eggs?! :stare:
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:iconsadistskunk:
SadistSkunk Featured By Owner Feb 2, 2013  Professional Digital Artist
Because they're fucking delicious! :stare:
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:icon3wyl:
3wyl Featured By Owner Feb 2, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Eggs are quite precious. I always think the batch will break when I put it in a bag to take home, but.. eh. >.<

It happens, though. :nod:
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:iconblackvragor:
blackvragor Featured By Owner Feb 2, 2013  Student Traditional Artist
I love my eggs. They take front seat on the way back from the grocery store. I was truly traumatized that their falling was my own silly doing. :C
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:icon3wyl:
3wyl Featured By Owner Feb 3, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
You couldn't even salvage them? :(
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:iconfixmeknow:
FixMeKnow Featured By Owner Feb 2, 2013
We need to just get you a chicken.
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:iconblackvragor:
blackvragor Featured By Owner Feb 2, 2013  Student Traditional Artist
I once had chickens when I was in middle school. My parents got me some chicks and I got to raise them. Then they gave them away when they were all grown up. :stare:
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:iconfixmeknow:
FixMeKnow Featured By Owner Feb 2, 2013
Damn them!
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:iconblackvragor:
blackvragor Featured By Owner Feb 2, 2013  Student Traditional Artist
I know, I was completely distraught.
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:iconawesomeizzy:
awesomeizzy Featured By Owner Feb 2, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
I had bacon and eggs for breakfast this morning. :meow:
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:iconprosaix:
prosaix Featured By Owner Feb 2, 2013
"having to fetch a considerable amount of energy drinks for her seeing as a trip to the hospital would have complicated things in her life even further for business reasons"


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:iconblackvragor:
blackvragor Featured By Owner Feb 2, 2013  Student Traditional Artist
Speaking of which, I forgot to mention you would call bull shit on something at the end of the post...
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:iconrocklou:
RockLou Featured By Owner Feb 2, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Have you tried ctrl+alt+delete?
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:iconblackvragor:
blackvragor Featured By Owner Feb 2, 2013  Student Traditional Artist
I hear that doesn't work in real life. :C
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:iconcrimsonmagpie:
CrimsonMagpie Featured By Owner Feb 2, 2013  Professional Traditional Artist
This is why cereal. :noes:
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:iconblackvragor:
blackvragor Featured By Owner Feb 2, 2013  Student Traditional Artist
Cereal is laaaaaame!
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:iconcrimsonmagpie:
CrimsonMagpie Featured By Owner Feb 2, 2013  Professional Traditional Artist
Blasphemy of the highest order! :iconmadnoesplz:
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:iconblackvragor:
blackvragor Featured By Owner Feb 2, 2013  Student Traditional Artist
:iconarguecatplz: I haven't eaten cereal since I was a lame little teenageeeeeer!
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:iconcrimsonmagpie:
CrimsonMagpie Featured By Owner Feb 3, 2013  Professional Traditional Artist
I'm about to eat some! :iconbaawwplz:
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:iconblackvragor:
blackvragor Featured By Owner Feb 3, 2013  Student Traditional Artist
HOW LAME. :iconiwillkillyouplz:
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:iconcrimsonmagpie:
CrimsonMagpie Featured By Owner Feb 3, 2013  Professional Traditional Artist
THEY WERE SUGAR PUFFS AND THEY WERE AWESOME :iconblowitallupplz:
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:iconwalkingren:
WalkingRen Featured By Owner Feb 2, 2013
I got eggs :iconteheplz:
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:icondarkanddefiant:
darkanddefiant Featured By Owner Feb 2, 2013
:lol: why can i see that as a comic?
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:iconblackvragor:
blackvragor Featured By Owner Feb 2, 2013  Student Traditional Artist
Oh dear...I draw comics about things like this pretty much constantly, haha.
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:iconpakaku:
Pakaku Featured By Owner Feb 2, 2013
Sounds like you need another piggy-back ride to the bar.
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:iconblackvragor:
blackvragor Featured By Owner Feb 2, 2013  Student Traditional Artist
Oh my god no...so much work to do. :noes:
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:iconpakaku:
Pakaku Featured By Owner Feb 2, 2013
See, this is why you need me. Your priorities are completely out of order, and it's up to me to help you fix that
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:iconblackvragor:
blackvragor Featured By Owner Feb 2, 2013  Student Traditional Artist
Guuuh, I think you are wroooong! :stare:
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:icondatas-girl:
Datas-Girl Featured By Owner Feb 2, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
OMQ... Sucks about the eggs, but the almost poetic description you gave of the events was lovely. :meow:
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:iconblackvragor:
blackvragor Featured By Owner Feb 2, 2013  Student Traditional Artist
The more horrifying the event, the more elegantly I feel I can recall it, :lol:.
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:icondatas-girl:
Datas-Girl Featured By Owner Feb 2, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
:iconisayplz:
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:iconrandomrobskii:
RandomRobskii Featured By Owner Feb 2, 2013  Student Filmographer
:lol:
The eggs was actually hilarious, pretty sure we've all had that moment.

But uh, why didn't your friend go to the hospital?
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:iconblackvragor:
blackvragor Featured By Owner Feb 2, 2013  Student Traditional Artist
She's an up and down kind of gal. By the time I got to her, I was able to help her out of the episode long enough for her not to have to visit the hospital. She's a job that would end up firing her if they found out she'd made an attempt like that.
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:iconrandomrobskii:
RandomRobskii Featured By Owner Feb 2, 2013  Student Filmographer
Ah, that makes a lot of sense. Still, that's a shame her line of work isn't more supportive instead outright firing her over something like that. In what world would good come of firing someone who just tried the "okay-I-quit-bye" thing?
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:icondivine--apathia:
divine--apathia Featured By Owner Feb 2, 2013  Hobbyist Photographer
disarming*
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:icondivine--apathia:
divine--apathia Featured By Owner Feb 2, 2013  Hobbyist Photographer
Mentally unwell people should not be in certain situations. Would you want a suicidal person dearming bombs?
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:iconrandomrobskii:
RandomRobskii Featured By Owner Feb 2, 2013  Student Filmographer
I suppose not, but at the same time, the likelihood of OP's friend being a bomb disposal expert was pretty slim. In my mind, the friend had a regular job, like regular people. I don't think it's too fair for someone to try to off themselves, then be told by their employers 'how do you feel about becoming jobless?' :icongo-on-plz: and having a whole lot more to deal with on top of suicidal thoughts.
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:icondivine--apathia:
divine--apathia Featured By Owner Feb 2, 2013  Hobbyist Photographer
Not necessarily. You can get really numb when you are low. Sometimes it's almost as if you're watching someone else. Losing something that requires you to get out of bed, wash yourself, brush your hair, dress, and work for 8 or more hours, Every. single. day. could also come as relief.

For some people, losing their job would be their last straw, but you can't say that's true for everyone.
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:iconrandomrobskii:
RandomRobskii Featured By Owner Feb 2, 2013  Student Filmographer
Either way, if I was the employer, I probably wouldn't takke that chance that it would be the last straw.
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:icondivine--apathia:
divine--apathia Featured By Owner Feb 2, 2013  Hobbyist Photographer
So what do you do? Keep an employee that's a safety hazard? Keep an employee that's not fulfilling their job requirements?

That's helping no one. The last thing a depressed person wants is a hand out.
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(1 Reply)
:iconblackvragor:
blackvragor Featured By Owner Feb 2, 2013  Student Traditional Artist
I wouldn't know, miraculously I have avoided ever being in a similar situation. This is most likely due to my refusing to ever becoming dependent on a drug, and just deal with my little problems like the bipolar adult that I am, :lol:.
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:iconblackvragor:
blackvragor Featured By Owner Feb 2, 2013  Student Traditional Artist
From what I remember, probably my fault for not being more involved in what she does, but she works with the debate team at a high school. I believe if you go to the hospital after abusing/overdosing on a prescription drug, they put you on patient watch or something. Am I correct in that? Something about instability does not fly well with schools I don't think.
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:iconkinrift:
Kinrift Featured By Owner Feb 2, 2013
No eggs for an egg sandwich? :noes:
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