As for your fist complaint, I completely agree. I feel it's quite selfish actually, i mean, what happens if they actually commit suicide and then who's left to pick up the pieces and mourn their stupid deaths? Their family and friends, it's selfish it's idiotic. And as for your second complaint, i sit by a girl in maths and all she does is talk about how her life's going to hell and all these things that are happening in her life. Basically i just want to pull my hair out and scream who the fuck cares? People are self centred and annoying, you've just got to learn to deal.
Mhm. I mean, okay, so your life seems to be worthless enough to you to end it, but then you're just going to make everyone else feel depressed also when you're dead. ;-; Really, life might suck, but getting help, even if not right away and it's hard, is much better option I think. >.>
Urgh yes. Like last week this girl was talking about all sorts of ways to have her friend (who sits next to me and her >.>) can just ask [her friend]'s boyfriend if he was wanting to dumb [her friend]. Seriously, if you're so dang nosey if he's going to dump her, I hope he dumps her for the sake of not being stuck with someone like that as a GF.
I know where you're comin' from. There's one aspect of this that really bothers me.
If you're suicidal, I think getting in a long-term relationship or marriage or having kids is really an awful idea. Don't make people depend on you if you don't even think you're willing to stay around. I think there are people who will rarely if ever think about suicide, and then there are those that consider it all the time, and plenty inbetween. And if you're not in that stable place, you're being kinda selfish because if things don't go well, your partner is going to be really sad or alone, your family won't be able to function, your kids will miss a big part of their lives, etc.
I think even the same thing with dating - don't be surprised if your partner doesn't want to date someone who might kill themselves. It doesn't just say that you don't care about you, but you don't give a fuck about how your partner feels, you only care about your feelings. And if it's that unbearable, break up instead of being offended if they break up with you. An exception to that is if you're seeking out help and your partner knows and is trying to help and understand and all. If they're aware, great, they're aware of the risk. That's a lot better than keeping stuff from who you're with. I think two people dating could really help them both be happier and less likely to consider suicide. (:
On the smaller end of the scale - I don't like people who constantly put themselves down or post depressing stuff all the time. It's not attractive or cute - a lot of it might be realistic and things we all think about, but if you hate yourself and focus a lot on the bad parts of yourself, instead of staying positive and happy, it seems like there's no pleasing and no confidence and they're just never going to be happy or comfortable or anything. Kinda hard to put this part into words, but people being so negative really does bother me, and if you tell them then they just feel worse, and the childish ones will get mad at you for disliking that.
There's a difference between 'feeling depressed' and 'depression' which something a lot of people don't quite understand. They seem to think the moment they feel low and glum, they have depression but the reality is they're just sad or disappointed about something. Yes, you can feel depressed; by definition 'Depressed' means " In a state of general unhappiness or despondency". However, having actual 'depression' isn't exactly the same as this. Being someone who suffers from manic depression I can say that from experience having Depression is not just a 'I'm sad' feeling... it's a literal 'there's no reason to live, I break everything I touch, everyone hates me, what do I do' feeling-- and more often than just every once and a while, too.
I think one of the problems is that we as a society throw words around so easily: "I can't get the new iPhone, ugh, I'm sooooo depressed :c" or "I can't get the new "Assassin's Creed" game, I'm so depressed". Depression isn't just being sad, it's being really, really, really, sad for a long long time. It's being sad even when in good, fun, and happy situations or among great and loving/lovable people. Depression is a mental imbalance, not a phase. People who have depression don't just wake up one day and all of a sudden feel better, their change and progress is subtle and often difficult. Some cannot even manage it without the aid of a pill of therapy.
Teens: Let me tell you something about teenagers-- They'll be depressed even when someone tries to 'understand' them or 'help' them. It's how the brain works. It's not really societies fault, it's biology. Things are changing in your body, you're traversing from child to adult during your teenage years and the world becomes a bigger and sometimes scarier place. You learn that lives aren't lived out like fairy tales, people can be cruel, mean, and sadistic. You also start to learn more about yourself. The main reason teenagers have this problem with 'hating' themselves and feeling depressed is because they think too much on things that don't matter. "That girl thinks I'm ugly" "My butt is too big (or small)" "My hair isn't straight enough" "I'm so fat" "I'm so ugly" "I" "I" "I".... The truth of it is as you get older you slowly begin to not care as much about what other people think because your brain adjusts and you come to realize 'this is who I am, and I can only change so much before I can't change anything else. The world can accept me for who I am' and stop focusing on the little things. Still, some people never 'grow up' and they focus on the little things like looks, size, and other trivial things. To them these things matter! But to the general public they don't. Teens see the world focused on them, every one is always looking at them, studying them, judging them, but the reality is...they're not. Not unless you give them a reason to. Bright pink hair, 18 piercings, 40 tattoos all over-- these are things that WILL make people look at you, it's just fact. If you're average then people have no reason to look, judge, or study you. But teens don't think this way. Oh, some do but a lot don't. Your boyfriend dumps you and immediately "LIFE SUCKS, I'M HORRIBLE! NO BODY LOVES ME!" -- it's it any wonder teens have issues with feeling sad/worthless/depressed? But 'feeling' these things isn't enough to determine 'depression'. For that you actually have to be diagnosed (sound cynical but hey, I had to and everyone else had to sooo).
As for this whole 'suicide' talk -- depression isn't the root cause of suicide. Sorry, but depression doesn't really lead people to kill themselves. Not very often. Suicide is often the end result of other situations where, although involved to a degree, depression isn't the majoring factor. If you're 'sadness' is so intense that you are willing and ready to end your life then you need to go to the hospital or a friends house immediately. Although I'm willing to be 90% of the cases where people (particularly teens and young adults) are saying "I'm going to kill myself" are pleas for attention and comfort. Why? Because the world is so callous these days that someone asking for 'comfort' or 'love' during stressful, saddening, depressing, upsetting times is seen as weak or lazy. 'Little things' to us are big things to them but we don't see that and we ignore them in their time of need. Only EXTREME cases are looked over and held in regard while the little ones are overlooked and disregarded as nothing more than annoyance. So, what does someone who is seeking comfort do in that kind of situation? Simple, push a more extreme outcome should their needs not be met. Again, it's not society, it's just how the brain works. We're social creatures and we NEED other people to feel comfortable and secure. When we're ignored or left alone for too long strange things happen to us, to our brain.
Some people cannot control it, others can. Those than cannot should seek the aid of those that can help, and those that can should seek to comfort those that cannot.
idk... I'm naturally an (annoyingly..) cheerful person nearly all the time, but there have been a few things in my life (I don't mean 'wah parents won't buy me stuff and my BF dumped meee' trivial shit, but the type of thing that the psych I had to see said that, fucked up as I was , I was pretty sane 'considering all that' ... though, it still could have been WAY worse ) that made me seriously depressed... i can say that some things are so bad that it becomes impossible to even imagine being happy, especially when they're constant, and you're too young to have the experience to know that that stuff is not how life normally is, especially when (due to age preventing employment, moving out, etc) the person is powerless to get out of the situation...optimism is VERY hard to develop, when your experience of life thus far has been, metaphorically speaking, much like being locked in a room of steaming turds, with only a vague concept that its possible to get to turd-free places
Then, there are chemical imbalances and mental disorders, which usually have not been diagnosed at that age. Some things mean that your body is physically incapable of producing happiness related chemicals... so 'enjoyable' activities are ...blah at best... (even if there are not currently other things happening that are enough of a big deal that attempting to 'have fun' is a trivial and pointless 'drop in the ocean' effort) and can be VERY isolating, when the person can't really relate to others in their peer group, either because of the very different way they think and feel, or underlying circumstances that cause them to feel that way.
A lot of the time, those types of people, once they're in a better situation, and underlying medical conditions are solved, are normal or cheerful- in my own example, off my meds I am moody, prone to halucinations, insta-rage, despair, or 'paranoid and feckin nuts', but on them ...well, even though I'm not sane or normal, I chose to think of myself as a happy, optimistic person with some mental health issues, rather than a depressive cyninal psycho temporarily passing as sane by dint of being heavily medicated (even though both are equally true )... because a decade later I still find life with no-one going psycho at me for no reason, nothing to be scared of, and a few good friends, to be a source of profound joy, which is more than enough to help me deal with all the little dramas and stress that I imagine happens to everyone who's trying to acheive anything, and by this point I know the difference between legitimate misery (which I can mostly do something about) and '...take yer meds, the crazy's starting to show', even though to me, they feel the same *laughs* But, that's only because I've had time to figure this out and learn to deal with it... which is maybe why younger people, who haven't had as much time to figure stuff out, often deal way worse with situations, than they would a few years later with a bit more life experience.
*shrugs* though, there ARE just annoying people with no real problems who can't deal with shit... I guess the problem there is taking 'everything going perfectly' as a base point, rather than 'welp, it could all be a LOT worse'
Depression=/= feeling depressed. Everyone feels depressed to some agree some days, having depression is a complete inability to get out of that feeling regardless of what is going on in their lives at the times due to almost certainly a chemical imbalances of the brain.
Telling a person with depression to "get happy" is about as effective as telling a paralyzed man to "stop being so lazy and walk like a normal person". Not only is it unbelievably ignorant that's not how illness works.
Same goes with suicidal tendency, while those aren't necessarily related to depression its a common symptom of an array of mental illnesses. Its rare a person in good mental health wants to kill or harm themselves. Once again telling a suicidal person to "just deal because life will get better" is about as logical as getting mad at a one armed man for not holding his hockey stick correctly. Suicidal tendencies are often related to those chemical imbalances mentioned above, it doesn't matter if that person is a motherfucking Disney World they still feel like dying is a best course of action.
A lot of these people due to the fact those chemical imbalances kinda make you completely irrational believe the world would be better if they died and therefore their death is actually a sacrifice for the good of humanity. They're very much the opposite of selfish.
The best course of action when you meet a person that's either depressed or suicidal, even if it turns out they're faking it, is to get them help. Because if they aren't actually suicidal they probably have other mental issues that need addressing and if they are suicidal simply a chance of environment, medication and lifestyle change may be all they need to become healthy again.
Anyway, I agree with you in some ways. My uncle committed suicide a few years ago and it emotionally effected our entire family, especially his wife. It is not fair to do this to your loved ones. The aftermath is awful and cruel.
Secondly, I suffer from depression and take medication for it. I know what its like to think of ending your life. However, I do not believe I could ever do it. I still do see the brighter things in life and do my best to be positive. There are other alternatives than suicide.
What bugs me (and I believe it has been mentioned in the comments) are people who do it for attention. I know some people are going to get angry at me for saying this because it is a mental illness, but I do believe that some people do it strictly for the thrill of getting a reaction. There was a girl at my high school, years ago, who would go around and SHOW people her cut wrist. That kind of thing bothers me.
Two people close to me attempted it and it's completely understandable why they did so. They only way I won't take someone seriously about cutting or attempting suicide is if they're doing it for attention. If it's the real deal, they can have sympathy from me.
The situation with the girl who won't shut up, punch her. Don't give me excuses, just do it.
away time is back
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`anmari has been spreading her infectious positivity throughout our community for over 6 years. Throughout this time Ana has been at the core of all things devious, passionately developing an eclectic gallery, helping organise devmeets, participating in chat events and also recently completed dedicating her time as a Community Volunteer. We are absolutely delighted to bestow the Deviousness Award for May 2013 to `anmari, congratulations! Read More