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January 29, 2013
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The Bitching of Dog Lovers (bad pun intended)

:iconytcyberpunk:
YTcyberpunk Featured By Owner Jan 29, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Disclaimer:

DOGS ROCK!
:icondogplz:
Dogs are funny. Dogs are cuddly. They are brave, and lovable, and badass, and I like them. "101 Dalmatians" was part of my childhood. "Airbud" was the first movie I cried at. Wolves kick major ass. One of my favorite animals I know is my cousins' Swiss Mountain Dog.

But you see, dogs are like Christianity. Loving, wonderful, and constantly advertised by obnoxious, closed-minded followers.
:iconpalinplz:

Other disclaimer:

Not all dog-owners are like this, most are nice people, many are my friends, I'm not racist against dog people, blah blah blah.

SO. I was listening to "Murphy in the Morning" (a radio network), and the topic at hand was cats vs. dogs. The woman on the show called cats a "waste of a pet," and declared, "When does a cat enjoy cuddling?" They then went on to discuss an old woman who died and home, and was eaten by her cats. Oh, and apparently cats don't run to greet you when you come home either.
:iconfailcat-plz:
Few fun facts, Murphy: one, dogs eat their dead owners too. And two, most cats LOVE to cuddle. But they have to be in the mood. They won't cuddle on demand. Oh, and my cats always greet my family when we come home.

Sadly, this is but one of many irritatingly stupid things I've heard dog-lovers say. I shall run down the common declarations made by dog-owners, and my responses to them.

Number One:
:iconepicwinplz:Cats are evil and obnoxious! Why? Well, they don't pay attention to you. They act like you're an inconvenience. They aren't trainable. They won't run to greet you.
:iconblankstareplz: ....and that makes...the CAT the selfish, entitled, conceited one?

Number two:
:iconbetchplz: Cats are just mean. Dogs are always nice! Dogs are incapable of not loving humans!
:iconweirdalseesyoutoo: BLOODLY HELL! A dog just bit me hand off, mate!
:iconbetchplz: ...unless the dog had a bad owner. It's the owner you know, not the dog.
:iconweirdalseesyoutoo: It was YOUR dog.
:iconbetchplz: NO! My sweet little Cujo would NEVER attack someone! My dog must've been provoked!
:iconweirdalseesyoutoo: No, matey. I was just walking by on the sidewalk, and your German Shephard/pitbull mix-dog ran out and bit me hand off...he's playin' wif it like it's a chew toy right now...
:iconbetchplz: Well big dogs are just fiercely protective of their owners. That's all!
:iconweirdalseesyoutoo: So what'cher saying is...if a cat bites someone, it's because cats are evil, but if a dog MAULS someone, it must be because some human or another drove him to do it?
:iconbetchplz: HER! My Cujo-woojo is a HER!
:iconweirdalseesyoutoo: Jeeezus christ, at least cats have the courtesy to wait till your DEAD before they start munchin' on ya.

Three:
:iconspockplz: Man, jaguars are awesome! I wish I could have one for a pet! But, then I'd have to live in some big, open area, to accommodate the jaguar. And I'd need special training, for such a potentially dangerous animal. I don't know if I have the skills or responsibility for a jaguar. Maybe I'll just cat a house cat, and stick with that.
:iconevilspockplz: Rotweiler's rock! I'm gonna get one! .....What? No, it's no different than getting a weiner dog! ....Oh you only think that cuz the media targets breeds!


....aaand Four:
:iconburnsplz: Cat, you are soft and cuddly, I DEMAND ATTENTION. I demand praise, affection, gifts. SHOW YOUR THANKS TO YOUR MASTER, INGRATE!
:iconcheezburgerplz: I thoughts I was showing you gratitude and affection already. You didn't like the big juicy mouse I kills for you, and I brought it fresh to let you eat first, because you are the leader of my pride. I tried to play fight with you, but when I gives you a love-nip, you get pissed. I tries to do group-grooming with you (when you pet my fur and I lick your hand), but DAMN, you wants to groom FOREVER! I'm CLEAN already! Unless.........wait, I gets it now! You needs BIGGER kills for supper! And HARDER live-bites! And longer baths, because you stink! I vow from this day forth to be your most loyal pride member!
:iconburnsplz: Sir Fluffington, I thought I told you to stop biting me when I'm petting your fu--is....is that a dead raccoon sitting on my chair? Where the hell did you even FIND that thing?

And five.
:icongoodnewsplz: Okay, people. So we're gonna make a kids' cartoon movie again. And it's gonna involve talking animals. Now, cats chase mice, and dogs chase cats. So, logically...the dogs should side with the mice, against the cats!
:iconiwaitedforyoufry: But, but sir...I loves to chase small rodents, and eats them even! Why can't I team up with the cat, and together we cleans out the streets of vermin?
:iconfarnsworthseesupther: Eh? A cat and dog as...allies? What kind of character dynamics could THAT give us?
:iconiwaitedforyoufry: Er...social guy and solitary loner? Guy who prefers a straight fight teamed with guy who prefers all this sneakin' around? Big guy and little guy? Yes? No? Maybe?
:iconfarnsworthseesupther: Hmm.....Not cliched enough. Go battle the evil cat, and save the cute mouse.
:iconiwaitedforyoufry: Sigh.

And now you see, why YTC does love dogs, but dog owners can grind her gears. When dogs are stupid it is cute and lovable, but when dog *owners* are stupid, it is annoying at best, and hazardous to others' health at worse.


:icondancingcatplz::icongermanshepherdplz:
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Devious Comments

:iconcake-fiend:
cake-fiend Featured By Owner Jan 30, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
I love cats but it makes me sad when I want cuddles and my kitty rejects me.

:iconforeveraloneplz:
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:iconmisterturtle:
MisterTurtle Featured By Owner Jan 30, 2013
My dad's Newfy is the closest thing to a cat obe can get. Because all he does is sleep.

All he doez. Ever. Just sleep.
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:icondadona777:
dadona777 Featured By Owner Jan 30, 2013
I have a kitten. he always tries to run into my room and attacks my feet whenever I come home. I wrestle with him all the time and I have claw marks all over my hands and forearms :dummy:

dogs are ok I guess
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:iconredfoxbennaton:
Redfoxbennaton Featured By Owner Jan 30, 2013  Student Traditional Artist
It's okay to not like dogs. Some people have bad memories with these beasts. I mean, if you don't like dogs then dogs don't not like you.
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:iconcalvero:
Calvero Featured By Owner Jan 30, 2013  Student
The only thing I hate about dog-owners is when they know their dog can get out and they don't bother to fix the problem.

One time I was walking back from the kitchen and right there in the hallway was a pit bull. Luckily it wasn't a mean dog, so I just lured it back out the window with a piece of bread.
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:iconendeavor-to-freefall:
I wish cats were bigger, you can't wrestle with them or anything :grump:
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:iconblubjee:
Blubjee Featured By Owner Jan 30, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
I really hate it when people don't raise their dog :stare: There are some people in my neighbourhood who have very big dogs that don't listen at all :saddummy: I'm afraid of them when I walk my own dog. Esspecially when kids are walking the dog.. Some kid tied his dog to his autoped once. Then the dog saw my dog and ran towards him, with the autopet crashing everything behind him D: That was scary.
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:iconytcyberpunk:
YTcyberpunk Featured By Owner Jan 30, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
:( That is SO wrong.

Truth be told, I don't really blame the dogs in that case. I blame the stupid owners who won't acknowledge that certain breeds take more responsibility than others.
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:iconblubjee:
Blubjee Featured By Owner Jan 30, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
I know right? I'm so happy my dog listens to me when stuff like that happens :l

The breed of the dog was a golden retriever, those are not that hard to train.. I think if you're gonna get a dog, you need to raise it well. People shouldn't get a dog, just because they want a dog :no: But that's the case with most pets, people get them 'because' and don't do proper research.. That pisses me off.
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:iconytcyberpunk:
YTcyberpunk Featured By Owner Jan 30, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Word.

I knew someone in high school whose family had three cats (even though they often couldn't afford to pay their phone bill). They wound up sending the female cat to the pound, because she was in heat, and they didn't want to spend the money to get her fixed. Afterwards, one of the daughters went and bought herself a HUNDRED DOLLAR rag doll kitten. Because they're really really soft, and she wanted one.
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:iconblubjee:
Blubjee Featured By Owner Jan 31, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
:stare: That's retarded. Some people really need to be screened before they get a pet :no:
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:iconrequiemachina:
Requiemachina Featured By Owner Jan 30, 2013
Wow.
You've got a lot to say.
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:iconytcyberpunk:
YTcyberpunk Featured By Owner Jan 30, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Indeed. Plus, I was bored, and I'm addicted to icons.
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:iconsvataben:
Svataben Featured By Owner Jan 30, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
I actually think this is made of win. Yes indeed, I laughed out loud in several places, well done!
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:iconytcyberpunk:
YTcyberpunk Featured By Owner Jan 30, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Thank ya' very much! I think this is how Complaints threads should be. I was inspired by greats like ThereAreNoTurkeys, and some other geniuses whose names I've quite forgotten.
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:iconpriteeboy:
priteeboy Featured By Owner Jan 30, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
While we're using Simpson's icons, this quote sums up my feelings pretty well:

:iconsmithersplz: "People like dogs sir"
:iconmrburnsplz: "Nonsense Smithers. Dogs are idiots. Think about it - if I ran up to you and started sniffing at your crotch and slobbering all over your face, what would you say?"

Dogs are fun and amusing. But as far as love goes I say my cat gives back a lot. She's very social and cuddly. Best of all, while her scratches hurt - I know that if she ever gets really pissed one day she won't bite my hand off :phew:
You gotta consider visitors too. A cat-hater visiting a house with a cat will likely not even have the cat approach them. A dog hater visiting a house with dogs will likely have one sniffing them, barking at them or leaping onto them the moment they enter the door. Dogs are way more "in your face" to those not fond of pets :hmm:
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:iconytcyberpunk:
YTcyberpunk Featured By Owner Jan 30, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Actually, if the cat-hater is avoiding eye-contact, and doesn't have the scent of another cat on them, this might *attract* the cat to them. But it depends.
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:iconsadistskunk:
SadistSkunk Featured By Owner Jan 30, 2013  Professional Digital Artist
I disagree. Cats always seem to LOVE hanging around people that can't stand them or are terribly allergic..
If people come over, my cat use to always picks one person that she claims as her own.. She's horrible pushy and "in your face"..
She lives with my father now and my guests are probably glad that she's gone. ^^;
At least with a dog you can command them to back off..
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:iconpriteeboy:
priteeboy Featured By Owner Jan 30, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
She might be a minority case though. Most cats at the houses I visited that had them always kept their distance from strangers. I had to coax them over for a pat, and even then they often ignored me :saddummy:
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:iconsadistskunk:
SadistSkunk Featured By Owner Jan 31, 2013  Professional Digital Artist
Cats always harass me when I'm at other people's houses too.. ^^; And then when I try to pet them, they often hiss or attack me.. I'm bad with cats.. And guinea pigs.. And babies..
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:iconcrimeroyale:
CrimeRoyale Featured By Owner Jan 30, 2013  Professional
My cat always greeted my dad when he'd come home from work. He'd hop up on his shoulders and ride around him on the house until he was fed.
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:iconytcyberpunk:
YTcyberpunk Featured By Owner Jan 30, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
That's adorable! I love when cats side on human's shoulders or ride their backs.
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:iconcrimeroyale:
CrimeRoyale Featured By Owner Jan 30, 2013  Professional
And alternatively, I've know dogs who go hide and refuse to socialize whenever people are around.
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:iconsadistskunk:
SadistSkunk Featured By Owner Jan 30, 2013  Professional Digital Artist
I prefer dogs. They get stockholm syndrome quicker.
And cats make me feel itchy.
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:iconytcyberpunk:
YTcyberpunk Featured By Owner Jan 30, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Well, that's fair.
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:iconsadistskunk:
SadistSkunk Featured By Owner Jan 30, 2013  Professional Digital Artist
:nod:
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:iconpuzzledheartbox:
PuzzledHeartBox Featured By Owner Jan 30, 2013
:giggle:
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:iconcosmic--chaos:
Cosmic--Chaos Featured By Owner Jan 29, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Jeez, that stuff is awful. I like dogs AND cats, but I don't go around saying ignorant things like that, nor do I know anyone who does.

I also hate the "dog & mouse vs. cat concept"- fucking Tom & Jerry...

They then went on to discuss an old woman who died and home, and was eaten by her cats.

Christ, if that really happened, I'm going to cry :(
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:iconytcyberpunk:
YTcyberpunk Featured By Owner Jan 30, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
I don't know...if I die on my cats and dogs and they have no food, they have permission to eat me. Circle of Life. Hey, I'm not saying it's *ideal.* But, I plan on having my body cremated anyway. I'd rather be in some dog or cats' tummy, recycling back into the Earth, than preserved in a box for centuries.
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:icongalacticgoat:
GalacticGoat Featured By Owner Jan 29, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
The thing is dog lovers (at least ones that think cats are evil) just don't seem to understands cats aren't fucking dogs and chances are good if a cat is being a dick to you its because you are annoying the shit out of it.

Take it from me, my mom does not realize a cat is not a dog so her cat isn't all that nice to her but when I come over the cat is all over me because I don't yell and run at it. Cats are timid especially around new people, if a cat is avoiding at your or hissing its probably because your intimidating the shit out of the poor thing.
If I had to make a comparison to humans a dog is like a social butterfly and a cat is like a person with aspergers. When you treat a person with aspergers with the same mindset as that party animal down the street of course that person will seem like an asshole by comparison.

I'm a quiet person and from experience I approach cats very gently and therefore its very seldom I encounter a cat that doesn't like me. If you learn the ways of the cat then you'll notice cats are suddenly not satan spawns anymore. If you don't want to take the time to adapt your behavior to how cats work then you don't deserve the cat's affection and you need to just deal.
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:iconytcyberpunk:
YTcyberpunk Featured By Owner Jan 30, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
I think another part of the problem is that dogs are very good at adapting and conforming to their surroundings, but with cats, YOU have to learn how to understand the cat.
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:icongalacticgoat:
GalacticGoat Featured By Owner Jan 30, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
That's true too.
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:icondivine--apathia:
divine--apathia Featured By Owner Jan 30, 2013  Hobbyist Photographer
There is actually a book called 'all cats have autism' :lol:
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:iconpriteeboy:
priteeboy Featured By Owner Jan 30, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I think it's "All Cats have Aspergers" ;)

I find the connection funny as both a cat lover and someone who had pretty obvious Asperger's behaviour as a kid (still do now but I have learned to down it down for some ridiculous social norms I still don't see what's so great about :stinkeye:)
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:icongalacticgoat:
GalacticGoat Featured By Owner Jan 30, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
:lol: That is an incredibly accurate title considering how cats behave.
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:iconsontine:
Sontine Featured By Owner Jan 29, 2013   Digital Artist
Everytime I go to someone's house that has a dog, I get a muzzle in my crotch.

I prefer cats.
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:iconsbkmulletman:
sbkMulletMan Featured By Owner Jan 29, 2013
I cried at airbud as well, but for more practical reasons.

:iconcryingplz::iconsaysplz:There are going to be TONS of godawful knockoff movies cashing in on this shit, GOD DAMMIT!

And let's face it, as lovable as dogs can be...they are idiots. And it takes a cat to show how stupid they are.

:iconthecatplz::iconsaysplz:I ain't fetchin' no stick! If YOU want the stick so bad, YOU go and get it! And if you want it so bad, why did you throw it away in the FIRST place?!
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:iconsingagainsoon:
singagainsoon Featured By Owner Jan 29, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
My cat loves cuddling. He has a habit of sitting on my bed, and when I look over at him, he falls onto his side, rolls over, and starts purring. Or when I'm sitting, he'll just plop down into my lap or try to sit on my shoulders. So cute, but he always wants to cuddle when I have places to go, or when I don't want his hair all over my nice, clean hoodies.
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:icondorkface4:
dorkface4 Featured By Owner Jan 29, 2013
Scientists should just make Catdogs.
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:iconbulmacorp:
Bulmacorp Featured By Owner Jan 30, 2013
This is the only answer that I've seen that makes logical sense.
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:iconkillerfreya:
KillerFreya Featured By Owner Jan 29, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
My cat runs to greet me all the time! Granted, she's a fat lard and just wants me to feed her, but still...
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:icongalacticgoat:
GalacticGoat Featured By Owner Jan 29, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Well given dogs are mostly nice to you due to brainwashing because they think you're their pack leader its not a whole lot different. Honestly humans often work on the concept of only coming to see you when they want something so cats aren't all that bad :lol:
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:iconkillerfreya:
KillerFreya Featured By Owner Jan 31, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
I know, most of the time dogs greet you they want you to do something for them, too. I'm more of a cat person, tbh.
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:iconhellzwaltz:
HellzWaltz Featured By Owner Jan 29, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Someone on Deviantart(I forget who it was a really long time ago) who was a dog lover. She posted a picture and in the artist comments said someone did a study on dog breeds and a collie was more likely to turn on you for no reason than a pitbull would. Honestly I'm not a lover of dogs but animals shouldn't be blamed for their behaviour when most of the time the human's misunderstandings are at fault.
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:iconmisterkhact:
MisterKhact Featured By Owner Jan 29, 2013
This thread makes me want to kill dogs.
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:iconytcyberpunk:
YTcyberpunk Featured By Owner Jan 29, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
:(
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:iconprincess-rufflebutt:
Princess-Rufflebutt Featured By Owner Jan 29, 2013  Student General Artist
I have to shove my cats away all the time because literally want cuddle time to be ALL THE TIME. I'll be getting ready for work, and my cat will come up and lick my face and then proceed to plop down into my lap. My other cat will wake me up about 3am demanding cuddles until I lock her in the bathroom for the rest of the night. I have yet another cat who tries to cuddle me every time I'm taking a shit on the toilet.

In other words, my cats love a good cuddling session.
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:iconangelishi:
angelishi Featured By Owner Jan 29, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
...Locking a pet in the bathroom for the rest of the night.
Great ownership.
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:iconprincess-rufflebutt:
Princess-Rufflebutt Featured By Owner Jan 30, 2013  Student General Artist
No harm is done to them. They have a litterbox and a food dish in there. Sometimes I crack the faucet on a little bit if they want fresh water. But I'm certainly not going to lose hours of sleep due to my cat's howling for attention. I'll let them out in the morning, a few hours stuck in a room isn't abuse.
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:iconangelishi:
angelishi Featured By Owner Jan 30, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
I never said it was. :hug:
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