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January 29, 2013


Replies: 152

The Bitching of Dog Lovers (bad pun intended)

YTcyberpunk Featured By Owner Jan 29, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist

Dogs are funny. Dogs are cuddly. They are brave, and lovable, and badass, and I like them. "101 Dalmatians" was part of my childhood. "Airbud" was the first movie I cried at. Wolves kick major ass. One of my favorite animals I know is my cousins' Swiss Mountain Dog.

But you see, dogs are like Christianity. Loving, wonderful, and constantly advertised by obnoxious, closed-minded followers.

Other disclaimer:

Not all dog-owners are like this, most are nice people, many are my friends, I'm not racist against dog people, blah blah blah.

SO. I was listening to "Murphy in the Morning" (a radio network), and the topic at hand was cats vs. dogs. The woman on the show called cats a "waste of a pet," and declared, "When does a cat enjoy cuddling?" They then went on to discuss an old woman who died and home, and was eaten by her cats. Oh, and apparently cats don't run to greet you when you come home either.
Few fun facts, Murphy: one, dogs eat their dead owners too. And two, most cats LOVE to cuddle. But they have to be in the mood. They won't cuddle on demand. Oh, and my cats always greet my family when we come home.

Sadly, this is but one of many irritatingly stupid things I've heard dog-lovers say. I shall run down the common declarations made by dog-owners, and my responses to them.

Number One:
:iconepicwinplz:Cats are evil and obnoxious! Why? Well, they don't pay attention to you. They act like you're an inconvenience. They aren't trainable. They won't run to greet you.
:iconblankstareplz: ....and that makes...the CAT the selfish, entitled, conceited one?

Number two:
:iconbetchplz: Cats are just mean. Dogs are always nice! Dogs are incapable of not loving humans!
:iconweirdalseesyoutoo: BLOODLY HELL! A dog just bit me hand off, mate!
:iconbetchplz: ...unless the dog had a bad owner. It's the owner you know, not the dog.
:iconweirdalseesyoutoo: It was YOUR dog.
:iconbetchplz: NO! My sweet little Cujo would NEVER attack someone! My dog must've been provoked!
:iconweirdalseesyoutoo: No, matey. I was just walking by on the sidewalk, and your German Shephard/pitbull mix-dog ran out and bit me hand off...he's playin' wif it like it's a chew toy right now...
:iconbetchplz: Well big dogs are just fiercely protective of their owners. That's all!
:iconweirdalseesyoutoo: So what'cher saying is...if a cat bites someone, it's because cats are evil, but if a dog MAULS someone, it must be because some human or another drove him to do it?
:iconbetchplz: HER! My Cujo-woojo is a HER!
:iconweirdalseesyoutoo: Jeeezus christ, at least cats have the courtesy to wait till your DEAD before they start munchin' on ya.

:iconspockplz: Man, jaguars are awesome! I wish I could have one for a pet! But, then I'd have to live in some big, open area, to accommodate the jaguar. And I'd need special training, for such a potentially dangerous animal. I don't know if I have the skills or responsibility for a jaguar. Maybe I'll just cat a house cat, and stick with that.
:iconevilspockplz: Rotweiler's rock! I'm gonna get one! .....What? No, it's no different than getting a weiner dog! ....Oh you only think that cuz the media targets breeds!

....aaand Four:
:iconburnsplz: Cat, you are soft and cuddly, I DEMAND ATTENTION. I demand praise, affection, gifts. SHOW YOUR THANKS TO YOUR MASTER, INGRATE!
:iconcheezburgerplz: I thoughts I was showing you gratitude and affection already. You didn't like the big juicy mouse I kills for you, and I brought it fresh to let you eat first, because you are the leader of my pride. I tried to play fight with you, but when I gives you a love-nip, you get pissed. I tries to do group-grooming with you (when you pet my fur and I lick your hand), but DAMN, you wants to groom FOREVER! I'm CLEAN already! Unless.........wait, I gets it now! You needs BIGGER kills for supper! And HARDER live-bites! And longer baths, because you stink! I vow from this day forth to be your most loyal pride member!
:iconburnsplz: Sir Fluffington, I thought I told you to stop biting me when I'm petting your that a dead raccoon sitting on my chair? Where the hell did you even FIND that thing?

And five.
:icongoodnewsplz: Okay, people. So we're gonna make a kids' cartoon movie again. And it's gonna involve talking animals. Now, cats chase mice, and dogs chase cats. So, logically...the dogs should side with the mice, against the cats!
:iconiwaitedforyoufry: But, but sir...I loves to chase small rodents, and eats them even! Why can't I team up with the cat, and together we cleans out the streets of vermin?
:iconfarnsworthseesupther: Eh? A cat and dog as...allies? What kind of character dynamics could THAT give us?
:iconiwaitedforyoufry: guy and solitary loner? Guy who prefers a straight fight teamed with guy who prefers all this sneakin' around? Big guy and little guy? Yes? No? Maybe?
:iconfarnsworthseesupther: Hmm.....Not cliched enough. Go battle the evil cat, and save the cute mouse.
:iconiwaitedforyoufry: Sigh.

And now you see, why YTC does love dogs, but dog owners can grind her gears. When dogs are stupid it is cute and lovable, but when dog *owners* are stupid, it is annoying at best, and hazardous to others' health at worse.


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Devious Comments

cake-fiend Featured By Owner Jan 30, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
I love cats but it makes me sad when I want cuddles and my kitty rejects me.

MisterTurtle Featured By Owner Jan 30, 2013
My dad's Newfy is the closest thing to a cat obe can get. Because all he does is sleep.

All he doez. Ever. Just sleep.
dadona777 Featured By Owner Jan 30, 2013
I have a kitten. he always tries to run into my room and attacks my feet whenever I come home. I wrestle with him all the time and I have claw marks all over my hands and forearms :dummy:

dogs are ok I guess
Redfoxbennaton Featured By Owner Jan 30, 2013  Student Traditional Artist
It's okay to not like dogs. Some people have bad memories with these beasts. I mean, if you don't like dogs then dogs don't not like you.
Calvero Featured By Owner Jan 30, 2013  Student
The only thing I hate about dog-owners is when they know their dog can get out and they don't bother to fix the problem.

One time I was walking back from the kitchen and right there in the hallway was a pit bull. Luckily it wasn't a mean dog, so I just lured it back out the window with a piece of bread.
I wish cats were bigger, you can't wrestle with them or anything :grump:
Blubjee Featured By Owner Jan 30, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
I really hate it when people don't raise their dog :stare: There are some people in my neighbourhood who have very big dogs that don't listen at all :saddummy: I'm afraid of them when I walk my own dog. Esspecially when kids are walking the dog.. Some kid tied his dog to his autoped once. Then the dog saw my dog and ran towards him, with the autopet crashing everything behind him D: That was scary.
YTcyberpunk Featured By Owner Jan 30, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
:( That is SO wrong.

Truth be told, I don't really blame the dogs in that case. I blame the stupid owners who won't acknowledge that certain breeds take more responsibility than others.
Blubjee Featured By Owner Jan 30, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
I know right? I'm so happy my dog listens to me when stuff like that happens :l

The breed of the dog was a golden retriever, those are not that hard to train.. I think if you're gonna get a dog, you need to raise it well. People shouldn't get a dog, just because they want a dog :no: But that's the case with most pets, people get them 'because' and don't do proper research.. That pisses me off.
YTcyberpunk Featured By Owner Jan 30, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist

I knew someone in high school whose family had three cats (even though they often couldn't afford to pay their phone bill). They wound up sending the female cat to the pound, because she was in heat, and they didn't want to spend the money to get her fixed. Afterwards, one of the daughters went and bought herself a HUNDRED DOLLAR rag doll kitten. Because they're really really soft, and she wanted one.
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