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January 16, 2013
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UGH CATS!!!

:iconblackflamevampire:
BlackFlameVampire Featured By Owner Jan 16, 2013  Hobbyist Photographer
Okay, so I have outside cats right?
Well we all know that outside cats like to bring presents to the door and allow you to see them then disembowel them later... Well one of those presents, which happened to be a fairly decent sized, mouse was nearly stepped on... By me... In my bare feet. Now this wouldn't have been a surprise to me had it not been RIGHT AT THE DOOR! >,..,<

Dear cats Buu ad Winston,
Please stop leaving your kills by the door where people can step on them.
Thanks,
Your owner BFV.
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Devious Comments

:iconstarrypawz:
starrypawz Featured By Owner Jan 22, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
I was told this story that happened before I was born.
One of the cats in the house went missing for a few days, he came back and he'd dragged back a red legged patridge with him, the concesus was that the cat managed to get into someone avairy.
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:iconblackflamevampire:
BlackFlameVampire Featured By Owner Jan 22, 2013  Hobbyist Photographer
Oh god!
Bad kitty!
Smart cat, but still naughty. LOL
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:iconstarrypawz:
starrypawz Featured By Owner Jan 22, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
XD Yeah, that happened before I was born. The cat we had when I was growing up was never much of a hunter.
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:iconblackflamevampire:
BlackFlameVampire Featured By Owner Jan 22, 2013  Hobbyist Photographer
LOL
We've had hunter cats on and off.
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:iconspudfuzz:
Spudfuzz Featured By Owner Jan 21, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
My cat used to hunt small lizards and sit next to them proudly in front of us while we were hanging the laundry. Since she never got the praise she expected she moved on to stealing our donuts. :|
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:iconblackflamevampire:
BlackFlameVampire Featured By Owner Jan 21, 2013  Hobbyist Photographer
Ha ha ha.
What a crafty kitty. Guess revenge is a dish best served... Donutless.lol
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:icontheleaveshaveeyes:
theleaveshaveeyes Featured By Owner Jan 21, 2013  Professional Photographer
At least they weren't still alive...my old cat would bring presents in the house that weren't dead yet, like birds and screaming cicadas.
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:iconblackflamevampire:
BlackFlameVampire Featured By Owner Jan 21, 2013  Hobbyist Photographer
They sometimes are alive... That's the part when I take action and try to save them if they are still able to run.
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:icontheleaveshaveeyes:
theleaveshaveeyes Featured By Owner Jan 21, 2013  Professional Photographer
Nothing like capturing a pissed off, injured bird in a net and desperately trying to get it out of the house while it tries to fucking kill you...
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:iconblackflamevampire:
BlackFlameVampire Featured By Owner Jan 21, 2013  Hobbyist Photographer
Bahahahah
That's for sure~
Well, I've had to deal with pissed off snakes. Those are fun.
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:iconorangekrissy:
OrangeKrissy Featured By Owner Jan 17, 2013
You should look before you step. You just never know what might be there. The postman left a poster tube on the porch of a neighbor and she stepped on it and fell because she didn't look where she was stepping. Luckily she wasn't hurt. It could also have been anything else laying there such as ice, a snake, or the cat itself. My cat eats grass and then retches on my porch, and of course the dead shrews. So I am accustomed to looking.
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:iconcake-fiend:
cake-fiend Featured By Owner Jan 17, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
One time my dog found and killed a baby rabbit in the back yard. My mom told my dad and he said to just leave it there, let it decompose. A couple minutes later my mom opens the back door to go outside and bury it, and we find that our dog had moved the dead bunny to the door, she nearly stepped on it.
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:iconblackflamevampire:
BlackFlameVampire Featured By Owner Jan 17, 2013  Hobbyist Photographer
Bad dog!
Yeah one of our dogs used to do that...
Though she would leave the carcass under a window and it would stink up the whole house.
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:iconkoyukuk:
Koyukuk Featured By Owner Jan 17, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Eew, I know how that feels. I stepped on a dead hummingbird once :< At least I had my shoes on, but still :S
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:iconblackflamevampire:
BlackFlameVampire Featured By Owner Jan 17, 2013  Hobbyist Photographer
Awwwwww
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:iconkoyukuk:
Koyukuk Featured By Owner Jan 17, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I know :<
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:iconjericawinters:
JericaWinters Featured By Owner Jan 17, 2013
Yuck! I've heard about people stepping in cat puke while bare foot but not animal guts. :fear:
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:iconowlbuddy:
owlbuddy Featured By Owner Jan 17, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
That has actually happened to me more than once and it's so fucking disgusting :(

Off all the floor available, mr kitty has to puke right in the middle of my path to the fridge :grump:
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:iconjericawinters:
JericaWinters Featured By Owner Jan 18, 2013
Ewww, kitty! :facepalm:
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:iconblackflamevampire:
BlackFlameVampire Featured By Owner Jan 17, 2013  Hobbyist Photographer
Trust me, animal guts is so much worse!
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:iconkitsumekat:
kitsumekat Featured By Owner Jan 17, 2013
Dear Owner,

We expect you to cook our kills since you suck at hunting. Also, you suck at not dropping human food in our bowls so, this is a win-win. We also expect a nice side dish and a saucer of your finest wine for dinner with our kills.

Signed,
Winston and Buu
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:iconmasterplanner:
MasterPlanner Featured By Owner Jan 17, 2013  Professional Artisan Crafter
But they want you to be proud of them and their mad hunting skillz! :noes:
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:iconblackflamevampire:
BlackFlameVampire Featured By Owner Jan 17, 2013  Hobbyist Photographer
I am proud!
They are getting rid of the mice!
We like that, just not their innards and carcasses all over the garage!
I wish they were like dogs and would bury their kills like they bury their shit!
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:iconmasterplanner:
MasterPlanner Featured By Owner Jan 17, 2013  Professional Artisan Crafter
All you can do is pet them, tell them what great hunters they are and how proud you are of them, and quietly throw the mice out.
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:iconblackflamevampire:
BlackFlameVampire Featured By Owner Jan 17, 2013  Hobbyist Photographer
lol
We do that a lot.
I personally believe it encourages them to do it, but what can we do? LOL
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:iconmasterplanner:
MasterPlanner Featured By Owner Jan 17, 2013  Professional Artisan Crafter
Cats do what they feel like doing at the time. They are not dogs, you know.
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:iconblackflamevampire:
BlackFlameVampire Featured By Owner Jan 17, 2013  Hobbyist Photographer
I know.
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:icon6th-hokage:
6th-hokage Featured By Owner Jan 17, 2013
Hand them a live mouse, it always works for me.
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:iconblackflamevampire:
BlackFlameVampire Featured By Owner Jan 17, 2013  Hobbyist Photographer
Doesn't exactly work when they find their own.
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:icon6th-hokage:
6th-hokage Featured By Owner Jan 17, 2013
It will show them you can hunt.
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:iconblackrosekane89:
Blackrosekane89 Featured By Owner Jan 17, 2013  Professional General Artist
My cats are indoors. They ocassionaly give me lizards. Have you ever heard of a palmetto bug? Well they are a certain kind of cockroach we have in Florida. They're about 3 times the size of a regular cockroach. Anyways, I hate them. Most of my cats are really good about killing them and eating them so we don't see them much BUT, I have this one cat that likes to catch them (NOT kill them) and jumps on my lap and drops them on me while it's ALIVE! The damn palmetto bug is running around on me :eager: ! AAHH ! He is so weird. He is very gentle and doesn't kill them, he just likes to catch them and run around with them.
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:iconblackflamevampire:
BlackFlameVampire Featured By Owner Jan 17, 2013  Hobbyist Photographer
Your cat it odd....
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:iconblackrosekane89:
Blackrosekane89 Featured By Owner Jan 17, 2013  Professional General Artist
You have no idea. One time he didn't pee for three days. Brought him to the vet, ran every test (and yes he was full of urine for not peeing for days), but not a thing wrong with him. He just went on a pee strike. My vet has told me that cat needs to see a psychiatrist. Lol.
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:iconblackflamevampire:
BlackFlameVampire Featured By Owner Jan 17, 2013  Hobbyist Photographer
Your cat is insane!
My cat is insane as well, but not like that. LOL
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:iconzodiacgal:
zodiacgal Featured By Owner Jan 17, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Butbutbut- a dead mouse is a gift for you!
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:iconblackflamevampire:
BlackFlameVampire Featured By Owner Jan 17, 2013  Hobbyist Photographer
Well it is a gift that is appreciated, but is going to be left where it lay.
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:iconmisterkhact:
MisterKhact Featured By Owner Jan 17, 2013
:iconpussyplz:
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:iconfixmeknow:
FixMeKnow Featured By Owner Jan 17, 2013
I really hate cleaning up the dead mice. The bird was a nice change of pace.
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:iconblackflamevampire:
BlackFlameVampire Featured By Owner Jan 17, 2013  Hobbyist Photographer
A clean garage is a nice change of pace for my family.
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:iconjeweledscarab:
JeweledScarab Featured By Owner Jan 17, 2013  Hobbyist Artisan Crafter
You're contributing to the degradation of the ecosystems surrounding your house. Good job! You get a gold star!
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:iconblackflamevampire:
BlackFlameVampire Featured By Owner Jan 17, 2013  Hobbyist Photographer
Yeah... Okay.
I believe the ecosystem around my house is doing just fine. Considering that I live on the side of a mountain I think the coyotes, bobcats and the possible mountain lion is doing more damage than my two cats.
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:icondivine--apathia:
divine--apathia Featured By Owner Jan 17, 2013  Hobbyist Photographer
Coyotes and bobcats are natural predators. Natural predators =/= introduced predators rollL
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:iconjeweledscarab:
JeweledScarab Featured By Owner Jan 17, 2013  Hobbyist Artisan Crafter
No actually. Those animals are appart of that ecosystem and the wildlife is evolved to cope with those predators. House cats are not appart of that ecosystem. The animals are not evolved to cope with them.

In addition house cats, since they are normally fed by there owners, only hunt for sport. They don't hunt until they get full and stop; they hunt and kill whatever whenever they feel like it.

House cats are the single biggest cause of decline in songbird populations in the US. There are literally THOUSANDS of papers explaining how they are one of the biggest impacts on local ecosystems.

Moreover, having outdoor cats is a danger to the cats. Especially in areas that there are other large predators that can hurt and kill them.

So congrats, you are now an irresponsible pet owner on top of not giving a shit about your environment.
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:iconcake-fiend:
cake-fiend Featured By Owner Jan 17, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Also, while I agree with you that outdoor cats are a problem, loss and degradation of habitat is the biggest threat to bird populations.
Building collisions actually kill more birds than cats do.
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:iconjeweledscarab:
JeweledScarab Featured By Owner Jan 18, 2013  Hobbyist Artisan Crafter
It's been a while since I've had an ecology course so I might have mistaken cats for being one of the largest, not the largest.

I need to reread the ecology literature, and then print it off and start stapling it to peoples faces.
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:iconcake-fiend:
cake-fiend Featured By Owner Jan 17, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
"There are literally THOUSANDS of papers"

Methinks you are exaggerating a wee bit.
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:iconjeweledscarab:
JeweledScarab Featured By Owner Jan 18, 2013  Hobbyist Artisan Crafter
I'd say a fair number have been written on the subject, but yeah I probably did. My jimmies have been a little rustled so that makes my problem of bad estimation skills worse.
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:iconcake-fiend:
cake-fiend Featured By Owner Jan 18, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
There's something about people being ignorant that makes you tend to exaggerate.
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:iconblackflamevampire:
BlackFlameVampire Featured By Owner Jan 17, 2013  Hobbyist Photographer
You must be very fun at parties....
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:iconthegman0:
theGman0 Featured By Owner Jan 17, 2013  Hobbyist
She's a moronic imbecile of the highest degree.
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