High-Functioning Autism & Aspergers: PSA
[a lot of this was taken and edited from different sources, but it sums up so much of how I feel]
Just my personal rant and opinion and feelings.
Oh, I knew I'm treading on thin ice, but feel free to give mature rebuttal/opinion.
I'm not buying into the whole "I'm autistic, so you have to be nice to me and give me everything I want!" baloney. If I tried to pull that as a kid, my parents would have none of it.
Do I have special needs? No, I have no been diagnosed with anything officially. Am I a self-proclaimed Austism/Aspergers-haver? No, I don't find that fair to put a label like that on myself with so many other people who have problems of that nature. Do I fit the bill to a [larger] degree? Yes, yes I do; but usually I just chalk it up to being introverted.
My brother and I say "Autism/Aspergers is an explanation, not an excuse." Yeah, it's why I'm odd sometimes in social situations. It's why I get disgruntled at little things that shouldn't matter (but they do to me, sometimes). But if I get called out on it, I'll say "Oops, got to get myself under control again." I don't expect everyone in the world to coddle me and be nice to me. If anything, "special" treatment is very condescending.
---> People who use the autistic spectrum as a personal excuse for being creepy or annoying are a personal pet peeve of mine. Also because they give everyone else on the spectrum who are perfectly good people a bad name.
Creepers are creepers. Not all creepers are autists and not all autists are creepers and to use one to "excuse" the other makes them all look bad.
I'm just putting this out there for people who are autists, know autists, or have/have had a problem with autists.
THEY ARE NOT BAD PEOPLE BY ANY MEANS: bad people are bad people. No need to blame a whole sect of people for a bad experience. Okay?
Buuuuuut, there are people who may be obnoxious who are autisti. Then again, there are tons more who are so cool! Part of being a part of the spectrum is the difficulty adapting to situations. I've learned that if you truly desire and want to associate yourself with people, you have to learn the skills it take to do so, not just be like "Oh. I'm autistic! So you have to accept my inappropriate behavior and if you have a problem with me, you're a bad person!" It's like wanting to join a cooking class but refusing to bring the supply necessary to cook [thus, making others pick up your slack in some cases]
And there are plenty of other people who are obnoxious and not autistic, to boot, as well, and people need to remember that. But autists can be great people to take to as well as brilliant people!
Just my personal rant and opinion and feelings.
Oh, I knew I'm treading on thin ice, but feel free to give mature rebuttal/opinion.
I'm not buying into the whole "I'm autistic, so you have to be nice to me and give me everything I want!" baloney. If I tried to pull that as a kid, my parents would have none of it.
Do I have special needs? No, I have no been diagnosed with anything officially. Am I a self-proclaimed Austism/Aspergers-haver? No, I don't find that fair to put a label like that on myself with so many other people who have problems of that nature. Do I fit the bill to a [larger] degree? Yes, yes I do; but usually I just chalk it up to being introverted.
My brother and I say "Autism/Aspergers is an explanation, not an excuse." Yeah, it's why I'm odd sometimes in social situations. It's why I get disgruntled at little things that shouldn't matter (but they do to me, sometimes). But if I get called out on it, I'll say "Oops, got to get myself under control again." I don't expect everyone in the world to coddle me and be nice to me. If anything, "special" treatment is very condescending.
---> People who use the autistic spectrum as a personal excuse for being creepy or annoying are a personal pet peeve of mine. Also because they give everyone else on the spectrum who are perfectly good people a bad name.
Creepers are creepers. Not all creepers are autists and not all autists are creepers and to use one to "excuse" the other makes them all look bad.
I'm just putting this out there for people who are autists, know autists, or have/have had a problem with autists.
THEY ARE NOT BAD PEOPLE BY ANY MEANS: bad people are bad people. No need to blame a whole sect of people for a bad experience. Okay?
Buuuuuut, there are people who may be obnoxious who are autisti. Then again, there are tons more who are so cool! Part of being a part of the spectrum is the difficulty adapting to situations. I've learned that if you truly desire and want to associate yourself with people, you have to learn the skills it take to do so, not just be like "Oh. I'm autistic! So you have to accept my inappropriate behavior and if you have a problem with me, you're a bad person!" It's like wanting to join a cooking class but refusing to bring the supply necessary to cook [thus, making others pick up your slack in some cases]
And there are plenty of other people who are obnoxious and not autistic, to boot, as well, and people need to remember that. But autists can be great people to take to as well as brilliant people!
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I understand the points you're trying to make.
"I'm autistic, so you have to be nice to me and give me everything I want!"
I have Asperger's Syndrome, and I loathe that kind of mindset.
The "get out of jail/responsibility free" card needs to stop. There's something called accountability, and a neurological (or psychological) condition/disorder does not excuse someone from that, no matter what excuses they give you.
Something like autism or AS doesn't give be the right to act like a prick and not face the consequences for doing so. I never use AS as an excuse for bad behavior, and I think it's awful how some people try to.
"I'm autistic, so you have to be nice to me and give me everything I want!"
I have Asperger's Syndrome, and I loathe that kind of mindset.
The "get out of jail/responsibility free" card needs to stop. There's something called accountability, and a neurological (or psychological) condition/disorder does not excuse someone from that, no matter what excuses they give you.
Something like autism or AS doesn't give be the right to act like a prick and not face the consequences for doing so. I never use AS as an excuse for bad behavior, and I think it's awful how some people try to.
Assholes exist all over the autism/"neurotypical" spectrum, and I agree that autism should never be used as a "get out of jail free" card for bad behavior. That said, I've seen so many rants and stamps like the OP that I've actually grown rather sick of it. It's beating a dead horse to me.
One of my friends has Asperger's, and he says that most of the difference it makes to him is that he can't always pick up on body language and stuff, so the example he used is that he can't tell if a smile is genuine or not when most people can, but he doesn't use it as an excuse.
The only people I've met who have Asperger's spent much of their time trying to convince me that they all had genius I.Q's, when in reality, I didn't really see them as any smarter than anyone else. I was always tempted to ask them that if they were so brilliant, why didn't they learn to stop phoning me 4-5 times a day. Especially after I specifically told them; "Stahp. Phoning. Me. I don't like it >:["
The bad ones ruin it for the rest of us sadly...
Worse off are the parents that feed these kids and make them capable of being so terrible.
TBH to avoid it myself, i actually kicked myself in the ass and went into the military.
Gotta say, it helped a lot, despite i'm still often considered "odd" or "weird".
But apparently still being capable of having FUN with average things like general hobbies (model kits, games, normal non WWE wrestler starring in movies, etc..) that don't involve beer, sex, football and trucks, Is considered a serious social Faux pas that makes me "retarded" and entirely abnormal.
That and the fact that while most are being whiny bitches at work and complaining about each other for no reason other than to do so, i can still smile and crack a joke.
TBH i take it as a compliment when people tell me to "act your age" since it means despite i'm 30, i can still have fun like i'm far less (often told as being 14 instead)
I think they're just jealous given i can be "free spirited" and still work for a living, own my house, and pay my own bills without living in my parents basement.
Hard for them to give me the stereotyped treatment if i don't fill in that crucial point of "living at home with mommy and daddy in their basement"
.... Not that that'd be possible given their house is as old as mine and has a mostly dirt and stone basement... hell mine still has a 6 ft deep cistern
Worse off are the parents that feed these kids and make them capable of being so terrible.
TBH to avoid it myself, i actually kicked myself in the ass and went into the military.
Gotta say, it helped a lot, despite i'm still often considered "odd" or "weird".
But apparently still being capable of having FUN with average things like general hobbies (model kits, games, normal non WWE wrestler starring in movies, etc..) that don't involve beer, sex, football and trucks, Is considered a serious social Faux pas that makes me "retarded" and entirely abnormal.
That and the fact that while most are being whiny bitches at work and complaining about each other for no reason other than to do so, i can still smile and crack a joke.
TBH i take it as a compliment when people tell me to "act your age" since it means despite i'm 30, i can still have fun like i'm far less (often told as being 14 instead)
I think they're just jealous given i can be "free spirited" and still work for a living, own my house, and pay my own bills without living in my parents basement.
Hard for them to give me the stereotyped treatment if i don't fill in that crucial point of "living at home with mommy and daddy in their basement"
.... Not that that'd be possible given their house is as old as mine and has a mostly dirt and stone basement... hell mine still has a 6 ft deep cistern
I once met someone who told me I had to be nice to them and let them get away with stuff because they were bisexual.
Autism should never be a excuse for anything. Unless it's job related.
I and a friend both have aspergers... though, with the new classification, I guess that mean we're lumped in with 'any sort of autistic' now.
He is an INCREDIBLY rude, creepy ( I generally don't even notice 9/10 of the stuff most people call creepy or rude, and I LIKE weird people, and this guy still manages to severely weird me out...), flakey douchebag. He pulls the 'I have aspergers so don't be mean and...' thing anytime anyone pulls him up on it...or randomly, if he isn't getting his way.
I am annoyed, as he does this to me, too- despite my having told him many, many times that I do too. So do several other people we know (all of whom are quite nice to be around. It's cool to talk to people who are also interestingly weird)...and I've tried explaining that people don't have a problem with him being autistic, they don't like him because he's unbearable. I've even given him tips on how to figure out what people mean, how to tell if they're bored or annoyed, and things that ...well, I don't get why they're a problem either, but they rude or upset people, so are best avoided if you don't want people upset at you.
But he still doesn't try, just keeps blaming the disorder, and people in general for disliking him due to his behaviour. It bugs the crap out of me, because...well, it gives it a bad name and then advertises it. Which mean other people associate that with it, and either assume that you're /really/ like that, or assume that if you're not like that, you're not 'really' autistic.
He is an INCREDIBLY rude, creepy ( I generally don't even notice 9/10 of the stuff most people call creepy or rude, and I LIKE weird people, and this guy still manages to severely weird me out...), flakey douchebag. He pulls the 'I have aspergers so don't be mean and...' thing anytime anyone pulls him up on it...or randomly, if he isn't getting his way.
I am annoyed, as he does this to me, too- despite my having told him many, many times that I do too. So do several other people we know (all of whom are quite nice to be around. It's cool to talk to people who are also interestingly weird)...and I've tried explaining that people don't have a problem with him being autistic, they don't like him because he's unbearable. I've even given him tips on how to figure out what people mean, how to tell if they're bored or annoyed, and things that ...well, I don't get why they're a problem either, but they rude or upset people, so are best avoided if you don't want people upset at you.
But he still doesn't try, just keeps blaming the disorder, and people in general for disliking him due to his behaviour. It bugs the crap out of me, because...well, it gives it a bad name and then advertises it. Which mean other people associate that with it, and either assume that you're /really/ like that, or assume that if you're not like that, you're not 'really' autistic.
I agree. It's an explaination, not an excuse. This can be said for any illness/disorder however. Anybody I've ever met that uses anything like that as an excuse usually doesn't have it. I myself am dyslexic and it irritates me to no end when people have no grammar to speak of claim they're dyslexic so it's ok. Dyslexia does not make you forget to capitalize letters or make you forget punctuation; you switch numbers/letters around. I really wonder if people even look up an illness or disorder before pretending they have it. I get challenged on my dyslexia all the time at school and work because people don't believe I have it. I've just gotten really good at hiding it because I don't want to be treated differently. I've learned that what I see/write isn't always right and fix it.
They're taking Aspergers out of the next revision of the DSM, I've heard. So it's essentially not diagnosable as a thing. Or it won't be in the future.
You, sir, have earned my greatest respect. I cannot STAND it when people use any disability --physical, mental, or otherwise-- as an excuse to act like assholes. I fall on the spectrum myself and I sometimes do stupid stuff, even making the same mistakes over and over again unconsciously, but I never use autism as a rationale for poor behavior; my parents would hand me my ASS if I did that
. But it IS hard sometimes to conform completely to some percieved social norms; it sometimes seems no matter how HARD I try, I've probably done some sort of major "faux pax" without even realizing it, and that makes me VERY self conscious. 
I agree with you. I have seen too many people trying to pull that shit and it's not an excuse. If you want to be treated like everyone else, you will be. What I hate the most is people that patronise you as well. My mother is blind, she's stone cold blind but she's loud, forward, intelligent and she doesn't take shit from no one, but people patronise her like she's a baby. =/
Most of the people I have met with asbergers were either weeaboos, stalkers, or both.
As a fellow Aspie, I really like your idea of it being "an explanation, not an excuse." I know from firsthand experience that people with Asperger's can learn to function just as well as anyone. Sure, you could probably just act like a creeper and then say "Well, I have Asperger's so it's not my fault" and some people would let that slide... but is that the life that you really want? Do you really want to be thought of as someone delicate, someone who people can't be themselves around, someone who isolates themselves from society and is proud of it?
God I hate it when people pull the "I HAVE (insert mental disorder here) BE NICE TO ME" shit. 
First off, I think everyone, including the mentally ill, should face some type of punishment if they commit crimes.
Also, I think it’s a bit too easy for others to sit there and judge when they have no firsthand experience in deranged thinking. Some people will only understand deranged thinking and deranged behavior when they face going senile in old age.
I like the idea of it being and “explanation” and not an “excuse.” I haven't met many mentally ill who use it as an excuse. But explanations don't always help: I’ve frequently been treated like an imbecile because I often have to ask people to repeat themselves. I hear voices all the time, and see things that aren’t there, and this makes it difficult to concentrate. I’m on meds and all the meds do is take away some of the intensity. Still, even knowing this "explanation," many people think that if I only try harder, I should be able function without so many mistakes. I get the impression they think I should be able to will away the illness.
Also, I think it’s a bit too easy for others to sit there and judge when they have no firsthand experience in deranged thinking. Some people will only understand deranged thinking and deranged behavior when they face going senile in old age.
I like the idea of it being and “explanation” and not an “excuse.” I haven't met many mentally ill who use it as an excuse. But explanations don't always help: I’ve frequently been treated like an imbecile because I often have to ask people to repeat themselves. I hear voices all the time, and see things that aren’t there, and this makes it difficult to concentrate. I’m on meds and all the meds do is take away some of the intensity. Still, even knowing this "explanation," many people think that if I only try harder, I should be able function without so many mistakes. I get the impression they think I should be able to will away the illness.
The one thing I hate most about autism excuses is when people treat it like Spiderman powers instead of mental problems. The special snowflake base in my old school had a whole wall dedicated to famous people from history who supposedly had autism. That wall had Joan of Arc on it, Joan of bloody Arc!
I don't think it's a good thing to say "Oh you have autism but don't worry Einstein(probably) had autism so it means you're going to be a super genius!" because that's not teaching them how to overcome it. Of all things it's encouraging them to use it as an excuse for their actions.
That doesn't mean that people should only say "Oh you have autism you will never be accepted in society no matter how hard you try." or slightly less blunt variations. Just tell them the facts and keep it real.
I don't think it's a good thing to say "Oh you have autism but don't worry Einstein
That doesn't mean that people should only say "Oh you have autism you will never be accepted in society no matter how hard you try." or slightly less blunt variations. Just tell them the facts and keep it real.
I don't think anyone who actually suffers from any of these disorders uses them as an excuse for anything, since it's glaringly obvious to other people when something is happening because of it, and when you're just lying through your teeth.
hmm, this forum is to my interests. i am an aspie, and i do my best to avoid using it as a crutch.i used to have sever issues functioning in public (mostly school) but i eventually got over most of it. i find (atleast in my case) if i know the person well enough, or someone i know well enough is within range, i will (mostly in the case of someone i know) have them signal me when i begin to veer off. it has worked so far and my socability has improvedn by a rather large margin. for most, its not easy to over come. but if you practice hard enough, its doable. i still have issues aproaching large social situation (which cuases me to seem introverted and/or shy in most cases), but i will eventualy work it out.i can say this from my point of view, many public schools may excaserbate(sp?) things with how they are structured ( ex: caused a sever panic attack leading to tutouring until finding a school which caters to unique learners [private school in my case]).....oop, was beginning to ramble. but yeah, it anoys me when others use it as a crutch. i feel like (don't exactly have the confidence) telling them to make a plan and deal with it.... and i'm rambleing again. i'm going to end it here.
I agree with pretty much everything that everyone else said. In fact, I don't want people treating me differently on the basis of a tiny insignificant set of personality traits, so I don't bring it up. Granted, I'm not really high-functioning anyway, so it doesn't make too much difference in everyday life.
My friend who has Asperger's got with my ex a week after she broke up with me.
He blamed it on his inability to perceive delicate social situations, and said that he can't wrap his head around what i'm feeling because Asperger's also apparently makes him into a sociopath.
I'm currently trying my best to avoid him.
He blamed it on his inability to perceive delicate social situations, and said that he can't wrap his head around what i'm feeling because Asperger's also apparently makes him into a sociopath.
I'm currently trying my best to avoid him.
Kick him in the nuts and say that your autism did it.
i REALLY want to.
But... I feel kinda bad for him.
not because of his "Assburgers", but because he's doomed to blame everything on that diagnosis. He's been given enough special treatment to think himself as disabled and irresponsible, but not enough to get himself on his own feet.
He's a pitiful, walking asshole of a human being, and he's gonna spend the rest of his days trying to convince his increasingly skeptical peers of his so-called disability, and he'll only receive disdain. He's doomed to be functional enough to be self-reliant, but not enough to uphold responsibility and succeed as a human being.
even as someone using a vague diagnosis as an excuse, he's still doomed to be a fuck-up who will piss off everyone he knows.
But... I feel kinda bad for him.
not because of his "Assburgers", but because he's doomed to blame everything on that diagnosis. He's been given enough special treatment to think himself as disabled and irresponsible, but not enough to get himself on his own feet.
He's a pitiful, walking asshole of a human being, and he's gonna spend the rest of his days trying to convince his increasingly skeptical peers of his so-called disability, and he'll only receive disdain. He's doomed to be functional enough to be self-reliant, but not enough to uphold responsibility and succeed as a human being.
even as someone using a vague diagnosis as an excuse, he's still doomed to be a fuck-up who will piss off everyone he knows.
Sad...