My mom is blaming me for not having the money to replace my phone


ExoticJackal's avatar
I HAVE like, $200 right now saved, I COULD buy a new phone, and a card with that money. But unlike my stupid mother, I don't blow all my money the second I get it. (Which she accuses me of doing every day)


Now, SHE went and bought like 10 shirts, 5 new pants, probably $150 worth of scrapbook supplies, and a stupid suitcase, probably blowing like $300 so far this month. (Yes, we are only about halfway done too)

I have bought NOTHING this month, after having bought my cat her food, paying rent, and loaning HER $200 because SHE didn't have money to get her own groceries. This coming from the woman who says I can't manage my own money. -_____- I don't think I'm the one with money managing issues. Heck, the only unnecessary things I ever buy, are coffee, and my phone card! Otherwise it's food, and cat litter/food, because I'm moving (hopefully) later this year, so I've been saving everything that I can to help my girlfriend pay for rent and stuff right off the bat.

Hypocrite.
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qplmza's avatar
You need to talk to her.
Posting on here isn't going to achieve anything.
Maybe an expense log book stuck on the fridge and a glass jar on the kitchen table for receipt slips will help.
ExoticJackal's avatar
O-O never thought of a log book. Maybe I'll do that. Write down what I buy, and the crap she buys with it.
SweetNspooky's avatar
Does she pay you back ?

If yes Stfu she made you live for soo many years ? You can lend her money.
My mom used to go.in Shopping sprees and asked me a bit of money when i got a job for the groceries.
I never even asked for it back.

Now she co-signed me for a loan for an house.
(My parents have lots of money, but sometimes there are hard times)
She did me groceries every weeks since i got my home.

200$ on side its pretty much nothing. even less if you ''dont buy anything''

And Yes she is blaming me when im ran.of money for stuff .. Its just a parent thing

Just saying that its pretty selfish to just bitch about lending her money for food ... Even if shes buying herself Stuff ...You can.help her right ? Who bought you food and clothes when you were young ? Anyways its jyst common sense to me. If i would never helped my.mother i would live in a shitbox right now.
ExoticJackal's avatar
She always says she will, but whenever she "pays me back" (which is seldom) it's out of MY SSI, which is supposed to be spent on me anyway, so really, no, she doesn't pay me back.
SweetNspooky's avatar
Well those SSI checks are not supposed to ''Be spent on you''. They're supposed to help her to take care of household bills, Providing food/Drugs/ Education. Shes not Obligated to give the whole check to you its a choice. Where it would become wrong if its she would literally buy herself material stuff, beer or dope with it.

As long that the money would go on food/ House bill (like your internet/cable/Electricity) Or your Drugs etc . Shes using it what its supposed to.

My mum where giving them to me. Then when i got my first job . I let her keep them, To buy stuff to make her happy or whatever.

If shes paying me back with it i could careless, Those checks Does not belongs to you directly. Its to take care of you.

But if Shes always buy herself stuff then go ran of money for essensials stuff then THAT iz a bad abit to have. Shes depending on you. But whatever shes should not complain about what you do with your money If shes not even Spending her own at the good place.


Just help your mom she was there for you for so many years. But have s good talk with her.... maybe go on less expensive shopping spree ? Split groceries bill ? Pay a bill ? Its not much buy when i was 18 i was paying a mini rent, Buy myself some food and paying the phone at home. Obviously she shouldnt spend 300$ On clothing and scrapbook stuff... when she has bills.

Don't be too hard on her ;)
ExoticJackal's avatar
"How Must You Use The Monthly Benefits"
"First, you must make sure the beneficiary’s day-to-day needs for food and shelter are met. Then, the money can be used for any of the beneficiary’s medical and dental care that is not covered by health insurance, and for personal needs, such as clothing and recreation. If there is money left after you pay for the beneficiary’s needs, it must be saved, preferably in an interest-bearing account or U.S. Savings Bonds."
ExoticJackal's avatar
Actually, no.
It is for my things, considering all she is is my PAYEE, the person who is supposed to help MANAGE my money, it is not for her non-essentials, period. It is MY money, to be spent on MY food/rent/medicine/etc. (my rent covers the basic foods that she gets for everyone). And she does use it for her own shit all the time. I know, because its the only green credit card, and she'll use it at wal-mart and shit on clothes for herself. They are NOT for her things, period.

"After a careful investigation, we appoint a relative, friend or other interested party to serve as the “representative payee.” This means that, if you agree to be a representative payee, we pay you the person’s benefits to use on his or her behalf."

"As a representative payee, you must know what the beneficiary’s needs are so you can decide how benefits can best be used for his or her personal care and well-being. This is especially important if the beneficiary does not live with you. "


"Remember, the law requires representative payees to use the benefits properly. If a payee misuses benefits, he or she must repay the misused funds. A payee who is convicted of misusing funds may be fined and imprisoned. "

[link]|utmccn=%28organic%29|utmcmd=organic|utmctr=%28not%20provided%29&__utmv=-&__utmk=240846656#a0=1&sb=2
SweetNspooky's avatar
I didnt said it was for Herself. Anyways, If she does Give it to you even if its '' What shes oewing you'' She does giving it to you after all

I dont think its smart to ask you money then pay you back with your check ..When she should first of all manage her own money.

But you sound like you're living those checks . Im not familliar with those American therms but..... Are you on Welfare/ Living on devorce/parental thing checks ?

Anyways your mom sounds selfish. Just as you.

If its Welfare its 100% yours
If its like that divorce thing its not yours but shes supposed to spend it on you. not on her.

You should get a job too if you dont have.one (i did not see you talking about a job )
ExoticJackal's avatar
It's not "welfare" it's "supplemental security income", which helps me survive, because the government considers me disabled and unable to work due to mental disorders. I'm not selfish for wanting what's mine, and getting pissed off that my mothers STUPIDITY is what's costing ME money.
I have tried to get a job, put in applications at mcdonalds, a little family restaurant, and the gas station near us. The only people hiring at the time, and I was never called for any of them.
SweetNspooky's avatar
Oh okay now i get what is it . Well shes not even to open the enveloppe . That thing is yours What the fuck shes taking them at the first place ? My Husband get those and there is no way im gonna touch it ! It belongs to him but anyways you can go to your bank and ask for a paper for getting those deposited directly in those banks account. That should remove the problem of her stealing it . Then dont lend her money again . She is a parasite . I've grown up in a helping family . But your mom is a parasite, Living on Your money .

I've could understand her if your checks were Divorce thignies from your dads . But no those checks are yours shes not suppose to touch it. Call the Dept that are giving you those. They should help you.


Sorry saying that you were selfish i wasent sure what those monies were from .
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Gashu-Monsata's avatar
Well she can't be all that bad, they got you awesome Christmas presents [link]

I don't even know why I went through your journals. I'm supposed to be doing an essay, I suppose this is some kind of procrastination :lol:
ExoticJackal's avatar
xD Eh, true.
Well there's the whole "constantly "borrowing" my money" and "constantly pointing out any and every flaw/fault/screw up for months after it's happened" stuff.
Gashu-Monsata's avatar
Eeh yeah, fair point. It gets better when you move out at least, although she could end up phoning you constantly asking for money. Who knows?
ExoticJackal's avatar
Yeah, but at least then I can say no, because it will legally be 100% my money, and she will not have her name on it at all.
TheLamadude's avatar
Google suburban mom.. It'll make you feel better :D
ExoticJackal's avatar
xD I know about that. It's bad that I can say "HEY! That's like my mom!" isn't it?
TheLamadude's avatar
Haha, god no! That's got my mum written all over it! XD
ophelianymph's avatar
Breath and all will be well
zodiacgal's avatar
Well you know parents. They're hypocrites in denial and always contradicting themselves! :dummy:
ExoticJackal's avatar
:noes: Some don't! Or at least, some do much less than others....
zodiacgal's avatar
Depends on the level of stress the parent is experiencing. They are more likely to act that way under stress! (lots o' experience)
Mercury-Crowe's avatar
And you need to replace your phone WHY?

If my kid breaks her phone, she buys a new one or goes without. Same goes for gaming systems, etc. I don't replace things unless they break through freak accident or natural wear.
ExoticJackal's avatar
Also, I AM buying myself the new phone. My mom is not doing it for me.
ExoticJackal's avatar
Because AT&T has screwed me over and says I can't put minutes from a phone card onto it anymore, and need to switch to a 10 cents a minute plan, I normally talk to my girlfriend for an hour or so every night, that's not counting the friends I normally text, or the times I need to call my parents or something when I'm out and about. .10 x 60= 6.00 a day. 6 x 30= 180. $180+ a month? No thanks. :stare: I'll take a net10 phone with unlimited everything for $50 a month.