Just try it. Even if your friends wander away from out at the party, there's always going to be someone else to talk to. There are always those people who're in the same predicament as you. I was like that, until I got sick of it and just said something to the nearest awkward looking person. Made a good friend that day.
Yeah, that's really true. I think the first thing for me is overcome that little voice inside and once I'm there try not to thing of how I'm going to look if they're going to think I'm funny or whatever ^^
Well, they're not the only ones but I live far from the place where all them live, and the only way is going out. And well, party here is not like an organised party. I mean party by going out in the city, going to some discos,etc.
And that part, yeah, I'm sure they're not true true friends but you know I don't mind having better relations with the people around me. I know myself in that kind of situations and I know that I feel much better when I have people that I know I can count a bit on. Yeah, it was hard to realise that it's the way I am and complain about that and feel bad about the situation when you can somehow change it is not the right way. Now I'm just stuck in that part that I commented above
hahaha, yeah I know some people like that but I'm not really this way. I'm a person with all sort of likes and drinking and partying isn't my number one. And here the party that people around me have, is going to the city, go to discos and most of them drink. That's why I have a little trouble. If party'd be going to a house or a pool or something more... I don't know how to describe it but it's not the same as going to a concert,etc.
Yeah, the thing is that my best friends which I really didn't spect anything suspicious about them, left me alone the first time I went out. They lied me with the plan that they were having and when I realised I really didn't want to do what they wanted to do I called my sister to take me home. But I was going with them because I don't know the city (I live in a near town) and so when my sister told me to go to some point ofthe city. I asked them to come with me only till I found a person who could tell me how to get there. They just didn't move and prefered to leave me alone. So now I'm going with other girls which I really like and one of them is also my friend. But they're like in their group and that's why I feel like they're going to leave me alone. I mean I don't really think they will like go away when I'm in the toilet but I feel insecure because I don't know them that well to know that I can feel integrated, if that makes sense?
If it's downright dangerous for you to go out without any plans beforehand, then just try making sure a relative is open to helping you, and that you have the means to keep in contact at the time. It's not worth the risk though, you should be able to spend time with your friends in daylight, at movies or restaurants, or walking in the park during day etc. You don't have to give this certain activity more importance than it really has to have.
I don't really care whether they want to drink or not, and I didn't refer to it in my post so I don't understand why mention it? It's just that it seems like in fact she doesn't like partying in particular, and she even has issues with enjoying herself fully there because she doesn't want to drink and she seems to consider she'd stick out badly for it, doesn't feel comfortable around strangers, and doesn't think she could trust to get home safely late at night without company. What she actually wants is to spend time with her friends.
I used to be the same position as her. Turns out 90% of my problem was my self esteem. I do drink, but I never felt comfortable at bars. I used to have panic attacks. But I went out on NYE, and I actually had a really good time. I just had to remind myself to talk up and to not over think everything.
I don't know what her clubbing/bar district is like, but here, there is really cheap hotels that are like 40 dollars a night. Not amazing places, I wouldn't usually stay in places like that, but they are safe and clean enough for sleeping in.
That's what a lot of my friends do. They hire a cheap hotel room that's opposite to the train station.
She also seems most concerned with not having who to turn to for talking when she can't find someone she knows rather than going home alone. When she spoke of not finding her sister I thought she was referring to the trip home, not someone to hang out with at the party, so I didn't realize the thing that was really preventing her from enjoying herself is just being shy at the time I made the post.
Can't say I have that great advice to give her, you could be subjected to a lot of bad things by strangers looking to take advantage of you. When she seems unused to parties in general and not that outgoing, she seems susceptible to this sort of thing. What could be useful and even easier on her though, is to have her friends introduce her to their other friends at a party, and have her try to get to know those. With the friend introducing them it should be a whole lot easier on her when she doesn't have to go up to a random person and start talking.