Shop Mobile More Submit  Join Login

Details

Closed to new replies
January 7, 2013
Link

Statistics

Replies: 100

WHY WOULD YOU EVEN

:icontuxedodemon:
TuxedoDemon Featured By Owner Jan 7, 2013  Professional Digital Artist
So I had to switch dorms because my roommates were insane and I couldn't handle it anymore.

When I finally got my things moved and got around to unpacking, I discovered that sometime during the few WEEKS period (which is a complaint in itself that I'm not even going to get into) my ex-roommate's boyfriend ejaculated all over my favorite blanket, I'm assuming as a form of revenge because I got the ex-roommie kicked out since she was so fucking nuts.

I'm not even really all that offended, I'm just really fucking grossed out and if I ever see either of them again, both of them are going to get knives shoved up their assholes.

:icontealdeerplz: Ex-roommate's boyfriend jizzed all over my blanket. Gross.
Reply

You can no longer comment on this thread as it was closed due to no activity for a month.

Devious Comments

:iconbeastlybrains:
BeastlyBrains Featured By Owner Jan 18, 2013
I'm sorry to hear about this BUT I laughed when I read this.

I'm sorry xD I thought it was horrible but just the way you wrote it was hilarious!

I hope it's washed now :>
Reply
:iconthesemicreepyone:
TheSemiCreepyOne Featured By Owner Jan 12, 2013  Student Digital Artist
Thank God I am going to live at my aunts while attending college. I would say what I would do in revenge...but revenge is never the answer.
Reply
:iconnirvanagenesis:
NirvanaGenesis Featured By Owner Jan 9, 2013
Stab his dick with a hot poker.
Reply
:iconspaniardwithknives:
SpaniardWithKnives Featured By Owner Jan 9, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Make a bunch of male friends to help you, jizzing in another blanket and holding down that nasty bastard when you force the blanket through his mouth, preferable while the thing is still fresh... maybe he even would love it, who knows.
If he chokes with the blanket..., well, accidents happen.
Reply
:iconrockygems:
RockyGems Featured By Owner Jan 9, 2013  Student General Artist
My cousin's roommate broke everything my cousin owned apart from her new laptop. Said cousin attends CAMBRIDGE, mind you.
Reply
:iconwizardofunseen:
WizardOfUnseen Featured By Owner Jan 9, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
:noes:
Reply
:iconpuzzledheartbox:
PuzzledHeartBox Featured By Owner Jan 8, 2013
:iconjizzplz:
Reply
:iconsilverfangotaku:
SilverFangOtaku Featured By Owner Jan 8, 2013
This reminds me of the one scene in Cujo where the wife's ex-lover trashed the house and then came all over the bed.
Hell, he even left a note saying that he "left a present" for her upstairs or something. :stare:
Reply
:iconkinrift:
Kinrift Featured By Owner Jan 8, 2013
Major boiling is in order.
Reply
:iconawesomeizzy:
awesomeizzy Featured By Owner Jan 8, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
He might have been pissed off, but that's uncalled for. :stare:
Reply
:icontuxedodemon:
TuxedoDemon Featured By Owner Jan 8, 2013  Professional Digital Artist
His whole existence is uncalled for; this actually doesn't surprise me.
Reply
:iconawesomeizzy:
awesomeizzy Featured By Owner Jan 8, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
What else has he done?
Reply
:icontuxedodemon:
TuxedoDemon Featured By Owner Jan 8, 2013  Professional Digital Artist
He smoked weed in the fucking house and locked me out of my room to have sex with his girlfriend in there.
Reply
:iconawesomeizzy:
awesomeizzy Featured By Owner Jan 9, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
That's pretty shit. :stare:
Reply
:iconkitsumekat:
kitsumekat Featured By Owner Jan 8, 2013
Fuck that, toss him in a pool full of boiling water with your blanket.
Reply
:iconinuvan:
inuvan Featured By Owner Jan 8, 2013
this is one of the few times i am struck speechless as to why ...
Reply
:iconzombier:
Zombier Featured By Owner Jan 8, 2013
eeeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwwwwww
:C
Reply
:iconstitchedupzombie:
StitchedUpZombie Featured By Owner Jan 8, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
still noping and whying at this

they seriously couldn't use their own blankets at least
Reply
:iconmasterplanner:
MasterPlanner Featured By Owner Jan 7, 2013  Professional Artisan Crafter
Did you burn the blanket? :onfire:
Reply
:iconthelovelychemist:
TheLovelyChemist Featured By Owner Jan 8, 2013
that shit aint cheap yo
Reply
:iconmasterplanner:
MasterPlanner Featured By Owner Jan 9, 2013  Professional Artisan Crafter
When I caught my roommate fucking her latest hookup on my bed, I stripped my bed down to the mattress and threw out the entire set of bedding. Yes, it was financially hard to replace it, but I wasn't about to sleep there knowing what had been done on it.
Reply
:iconbixtin:
Bixtin Featured By Owner Jan 7, 2013  Professional Interface Designer
Still not as disgusting as what my friend's ex-roommate did to him.
It was a bag of cereal or trail mix or something and not a blanket. So....
Reply
:iconbixtin:
Bixtin Featured By Owner Jan 7, 2013  Professional Interface Designer
But still pretty fucking gross.
Reply
:iconneurotype:
neurotype Featured By Owner Jan 7, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
what the fucking fuck :|

you should scare them with the bible! it's all like 'NO WASTEY'
Reply
:icontuxedodemon:
TuxedoDemon Featured By Owner Jan 7, 2013  Professional Digital Artist
What's hilarious is that they regularly go to church. So go figure that one out.
Reply
:iconneurotype:
neurotype Featured By Owner Jan 7, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
I am so confused right now. Although maybe it's only Catholics who hold to that?
Reply
:icondark-promises:
dark-promises Featured By Owner Jan 7, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Insanity is the best type of company.
Reply
:iconceibita:
Ceibita Featured By Owner Jan 7, 2013
Wow, somebody with worse ex-roommates than me. O_O I hope things are better now that you've moved out. It's the best decision I ever made, anyway!
Reply
:iconghostinthepines:
GhostInThePines Featured By Owner Jan 7, 2013  Hobbyist Photographer
If it were one of my blankets, well... simple castration would be too good for that man.

:evileye: No one comes near my blankets without permission! Not even the dog! :evileye:
Reply
:iconlegendarysuperman:
LegendarySuperman Featured By Owner Jan 7, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
There's something that you need to hear, something that I need to confess...it wasn't the ex-roommate's boyfriend that exploded all over that blanket...it was...it was...well you see...it was THE BATMAN :iconbatmanwhutplz:
Reply
:icontuxedodemon:
TuxedoDemon Featured By Owner Jan 7, 2013  Professional Digital Artist
Reply
:iconlegendarysuperman:
LegendarySuperman Featured By Owner Jan 8, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
:iconrlyplz: What did I just witness?
Reply
:icontuxedodemon:
TuxedoDemon Featured By Owner Jan 8, 2013  Professional Digital Artist
Batman getting out of a chair.
Reply
:iconedarlin:
edarlin Featured By Owner Jan 7, 2013
Ew. Just...ew. Boil that fucker (blanket or boyfriend, I'll leave that up to you). Hopefully your new situation is better.

Now for a fun story...
First roommate I had agreed that there was to be no sex in our room (I naively expected that she'd go to the guy's room or something), then she got a boyfriend and our room became known as "The Rabbit Hutch" because they were fucking like bunnies. When she wasn't screwing her nasty pothead boyfriend or doing hipster things, she'd either be sleeping or crying or watching Charlie the Unicorn. I spent as little time as possible in the room.

After a few months of this, our room started smelling really weird. I just figured it was something caused by her hipster hygiene habits, though it didn't smell like body odor. Then my friend and I watched "Perfume" (main character has super olfaction) and I had an epiphany: the smell was months of accumulated dirty hipster sex odor.
I moved out of that cesspool when the semester ended.
Reply
:iconkitsumekat:
kitsumekat Featured By Owner Jan 8, 2013
You could've studied that.
Reply
:icon0s1:
0s1 Featured By Owner Jan 7, 2013
Cut off his balls and have your ex-roommate personally mend his wounded crotch with the semen blanket.
Reply
:iconangelishi:
angelishi Featured By Owner Jan 7, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Take picture and spread the story on the Internet, including the name, address, phone number and photo of the dumbass :la:
Reply
:icontuxedodemon:
TuxedoDemon Featured By Owner Jan 7, 2013  Professional Digital Artist
HE WOULD DESERVE IT AND SO WOULD HIS GIRLFRIEND

BUT I DON'T HAVE ACCESS TO ANY OF THESE THINGS
Reply
:iconangelishi:
angelishi Featured By Owner Jan 7, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
I'm sure you do! just dig enough.
Reply
:iconkitsumekat:
kitsumekat Featured By Owner Jan 7, 2013
Boil it and while it's hot find the man and smack him with it.
Reply
:iconpakaku:
Pakaku Featured By Owner Jan 7, 2013
You always have the best ideas
Reply
:iconkitsumekat:
kitsumekat Featured By Owner Jan 8, 2013
Not really.
Reply
:icontuxedodemon:
TuxedoDemon Featured By Owner Jan 7, 2013  Professional Digital Artist
I would love to, yes, this.
Reply
:iconkitsumekat:
kitsumekat Featured By Owner Jan 7, 2013
Do it.
Reply
:iconomnomnomnomnomnomm:
OmNomNomNomNomNomm Featured By Owner Jan 7, 2013
Seconding on the boiling it option. How petty of him. 3:
Reply
:iconredfoxbennaton:
Redfoxbennaton Featured By Owner Jan 7, 2013  Student Traditional Artist
Kill yourself.
Reply
:icontuxedodemon:
TuxedoDemon Featured By Owner Jan 7, 2013  Professional Digital Artist
Don't talk shit about Total.
Reply
:iconzombier:
Zombier Featured By Owner Jan 8, 2013
:icontourettesguyplz:
Reply
:iconredfoxbennaton:
Redfoxbennaton Featured By Owner Jan 7, 2013  Student Traditional Artist
Yes I should. I'd rather eat cheerios.
Reply
:icontuxedodemon:
TuxedoDemon Featured By Owner Jan 7, 2013  Professional Digital Artist
Pissing out the window and shitting out the window are two different things.
Reply
Add a Comment: