Stop limiting science you moral twats.


KlaxonLithology's avatar
I mean seriously. What's this shit about scientific ethics? We're fucking scientists. Every seismologist in the world was excited about the Japan Earthquake. Not because it was deadly, or because they hated Japanese people for their weird, dick-softening porn, but because it was big, and big means data.

And animal testing. Christ, people, you'd think they were testing expeimental shampoo on the wee baby Jesus. Maybe if they did he'd not look like a the world's most peaceful, greasy metalhead the rest of his life. No, this is a stupid fucking rat. They get killed by everything all the time. Like cars and rednecks.

Which brings me to us. The Human Race. We get killed by everything all the damn time. What's the pain in donating a few thousand each year to be killed horrifically for the sake of seeing something fucking awesome and writing a paper about it that will earn some egghead a $100,000 grant for the torture and dismemberment of a newborn baby, or the cost of bringing expecting mothers in to come face-to-face with miscarriaged fetuses and monitoring the psychological trauma.

I mean, fuck, you'd think society would be able to advance further if the military was still allowed to test nerve agents on unsuspecting soldiers, or test new nuclear devices on Aboriginal villages. We have to know this shit, man. We just have to. For progress.

tl;dr: dead baby jokes.
Comments164
Join the community to add your comment. Already a deviant? Log In
MourantLune's avatar
"Like cars and rednecks"

Or Rednecks in cars.
KlaxonLithology's avatar
Rednecks only drive trucks with gun racks.
MourantLune's avatar
Vincent-Nocturnal's avatar
I can easily agree with this logic, though my ideas are somewhat varying. Why do we let rapists, child molesters and murderers fester in prisons when they could be contributing by being involuntary test subjects for the betterment of a new tomorrow? We wouldn't even need to test on animals then. Despite what the majority thinks, I believe aborted fetuses are fair game as well. The benefits of their untainted cells could prove resourceful in curing all kinds of human ailments.
KlaxonLithology's avatar
Sure. Prisoners have given up their right as citizens anyways.
Though most rapists and child molesters get out at a certain point, as do some murderers, so I think testing on prisoners would only be done with life sentences or death row. It also invites abuse of the system, so there's that to contend with. And human rights violations. It would be universally panned by the UN.

Aborted fetuses, however? Fair game.
KillianSeraphim's avatar
Are you volunteering?
KlaxonLithology's avatar
KillianSeraphim's avatar
Human experimentation. As much as I would think it would be awesome to be a cyborg or a superhuman, I'm certainly not going to be the first in line.
KlaxonLithology's avatar
I'll choose place 100.

That way they'll have practice with drug addicts who need money and unsuspecting military personnel before they get to my superior genetic material.
Buniis's avatar
Being edgy to try and fit in? Nah, you're lame.
KlaxonLithology's avatar
I've always been edgy, and I've probably been around the forums longer than you.
Buniis's avatar
Yeah, still lame.
HametsuNoCharge's avatar
SHAME ON YOU! We, as humans, have tried at EVERY TWIST AND TURN to FUCK with mother nature! HOW DARE YOU disparage all that EFFORT and ask us to return to times when the laws of the wild and natural selection ACTUALLY APPLIED?
KlaxonLithology's avatar
It's still applying. We're part of nature.

The key to survival now is being delicious. If you are delicious, we will take you and cultivate you and your genes will survive and your offspring with be as numerous as the stars. That is the goal of natural selection, no? To be fruitful and multiply. Be delicious, pandas, be delicious, elephants, be delicious, Boninagrion ezoin, and you will survive.
HametsuNoCharge's avatar
True, but condoning animal testing goes against everything we have done to go against nature (like protecting things that are small weak and of little worth to our lives).

and I somehow doubt panda meat would be condoned
KlaxonLithology's avatar
Pft, we'll market it as 'Oriental Beef' and people won't know the difference.
HametsuNoCharge's avatar
lol probably not, no one knows what real meat still tastes like anyways
KlaxonLithology's avatar
/stares down at myself
HametsuNoCharge's avatar
lol remember the antiseptic
View all replies
LoVe-3N's avatar
I agree about the testing on animals. We test on rats. Those fuckers are everywhere.
KlaxonLithology's avatar
Well, not exactly a scarce commodity.

The weird organ-growing on them is pretty hilarious though. Like that ear.
LoVe-3N's avatar
I saw a pic of a rat with a cup-like thing growing out of it. It was quite cool.
KlaxonLithology's avatar
Ratcup, the newest in self-mobile glassware.