Beat it. We're full!


Grayda's avatar
It's almost 'straya day. In fact, January is 'straya month. Here are some suggestions on how to make the most of this glorious time:

:bulletred: Go to the summernats and watch guys do burnouts. Or better yet, host your own summernats on the street outside your house. At 3am
:bulletred: Post a factually incorrect status on Facebook about how you should speak Australian when you're in Australia.
:bulletred: Tell someone who was born in Australia (but has foreign parents) to go back home because their parents speak Chinese.
:bulletred: Hate someone because they're a Muslim.
:bulletred: Drink until you forget that we stole the land from the Aboriginals
:bulletred: Get a sweet lower-back tattoo that has the southern cross on it, then attach several Chinese-made Australian flags to your Ford
:bulletred: Make a stereotyped joke about an American, then talk about how awesome Pawn Stars is. Acceptable jokes include obesity and guns. It's preferable to make this joke while choking down food from your barbecue.

So carn. Siddown, grabbabeer and talk bout them fuckin' foreign cunts takin' ova our land and that. If you don't agree with me, then GET OUT. Country is full and we need all the space we can for native Australians -- the while people.
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Spudfuzz's avatar
As much as I don't care for 'straya day, Big W has these awesome inflatable pool thong mattresses with an Aussie flag design on them. I haaave to get one. :iconiloveitmoreplz:
CrookiNari's avatar
Don't you know? If you don't know Waltzing Matilda, haven't tried pavlova or know who Don Bradman is, you can't possibly be Australian! Today Tonight told me so! Take your substantial contribution to the country and PISS OFF!
I think I'm just going to keep linking videos. This sums up the attitude towards Muslims pretty well: [link] And this one's about Asians: [link]
Have another one while I'm at it: [link]
neurotype-on-discord's avatar
Y'all have too many nice beaches and it's spoiling you. Send some to me!
Spudfuzz's avatar
Dude those beaches are bitches, nice to look at but if you get too close It'll slap you with a stinger. My arm had red tentacle marks running from arm pit to wrist. :stare:
neurotype-on-discord's avatar
I CAN LIVE WITH THIS.

Seriously, beaches. Need.
MisterTurtle's avatar
Well, well, well, seems about the only difference between our countries is OUR bogans carry assault rifles.
HtimsNayr's avatar
From the looks of this complaint, Australia and the US are the same country. Aside from the slang, that is.

Which makes the last point sort of hilarious.
paellamagi's avatar
This is why I am going to not work that day, because since I work in bogan central. If I do I might wear a hijab just for the lulz.
Grayda's avatar
You should hire a few wrestlers to do that, then laugh as the bogans get body slammed over s rail for starting something.
Ashieepants's avatar
Am I the only Australian that doesn't celebrate Australia Day? o_O

I honestly only care about either the day off work, or the public holiday rat- I should check on what day it falls.
DAMN IT. A MONDAY. :crying:
Grayda's avatar
I don't celebrate it either. It's nice to feel patriotic and stuff, but I feel patriotic at other points throughout the year. 'sides, I get the day off so it's a sleep in and playstation day anyway.

Umm.. I mean, 'STRAYA DAY WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! GIDABEERINYAYACARNT!
Ashieepants's avatar
I feel more patriotic when the fireworks go off on NYE.

When they're decent. Unfortunately they have not been for 2 years. ¬¬
dorkface4's avatar
Can we please ship all the bogans somewhere else?
Grayda's avatar
They did. From England to Australia. Ohh, you mean somewhere ELSE?

Welp, I hear Chechzoslapakistan is pretty nice at this time of year..
Fullmetal-Animator's avatar
Hate the Muslims? My Januaries have been perfectly fine without doing that.
Grayda's avatar
Then it's quite clear that you're not Australian. Homeward bound!

We could overlook that if you rip a sick skid in your ford without spilling your beer. Bonus points if you buckle the remaining beer in but not your child: [link]
Sauti-Alamisi's avatar
I don't know why people mistaken Australians as Chinese. They look nothing alike. :shifty:
divine--apathia's avatar
...This wasn't about mistaking Australians for Chinese people. it is about telling Australians of Asian descent (IE, parents migrated, but the child was born in Australia) to go back 'home', when really, Australia is their home :shrug:
Sauti-Alamisi's avatar
I often go off topic because I am listening to music. :B

But I still don't get why.
Chromattix's avatar
I'm on both sides of the fence here. On one hand I do feel like the Australian government is pretty much just letting anyone walk in here with the only hurdle being a short citizenship test that is on par with what a fifth-grader would have to do. Not to mention the questions themselves are pretty stupid...does knowing who was Australia's best cricket batsman really contribute to their integration into this country? other than having about 10 seconds worth of conversation material in a bar that likely won't be frequented by said Asians/Indians/Middle Easterners/whatever anyway? :evileye: As for language - well I agree making it mandatory to speak English is a pretty high hurdle, but you'd think some of these people would take it upon themselves to at least try, if not for us then for their own benefit, since not being able to speak the language of the locals in any country will likely see you scrubbing toilets and sharing an inner city unit with 12 other people for the rest of the life you spend there, which isn't exactly leaps and bounds from the crappy life the person was trying to escape :p In other countries, like Japan for instance - I hear it is considered very rude of immigrants to not attempt to learn and speak Japanese. And you can't blame them for expecting people who "want to be Japanese" - to start acting like one, the difference is they have no shame admitting that they hate foreigners waltzing in and pissing all over what they value about their country :p

Having said that, I hate the stereotypical douchebaggy "Auzzie Boy" - particularly aged between late teens to mid 30's even just as much. They are just as cliche and annoying as you described - mild yet permanent sunburn, southern cross tattoos and punching-kangaroo inflatables and all :facepalm: People like these drunken racist self-rightous douchebags make me kinda embarrassed to admit I'm Australian at times :X
divine--apathia's avatar
requirement 2 or 4*
Chromattix's avatar
The Downs syndrome thing seems like a pretty low blow. One could say that such a child could be an extra strain on medical resources or something. After all - think of every country being an Ark, you only have so much space and so many resources. You really don't want to be wasting too much on either on the sick or handicapped, which sounds incredibly harsh and cutthroat but really is just the human way of doing what natural selection would have done anyway :judge: I'm not saying they don't deserve care, I can only imagine how hard it would be either living like that or being responsible for one like that :no: But the government doesn't, and shouldn't get personal like that since if it felt sorry and became generous to everyone who has a sad life's story it would be broke or seriously have to neglect more important issues :p

Which is what amazes and enrages lots of people about the asylum seeker issues. Yes their life sucks, yes we feel sorry for them, but no - it's not our fault or our responsibility. Pensioners who have lived and worked here all their lives don't even get that much financial support as these boatloads of people coming in from God-knows where. And then they riot and destroy their holding facilities because apparently the free cable TV, free food, free water, free games and entertainment and free healthcare they get, all funded by the working Australian's tax dollars isn't good enough for some people who just climbed out of the asshole of the world :disbelief:

If a country is an ark, they shouldn't pick up every little raft of suffering people they encounter, especially when there are millions of them floating around out there. Take on board too many at once and either you'll run out of space and resources or the whole damn ship will just sink :dead:
paellamagi's avatar
It is our responsibility as decent human beings.
divine--apathia's avatar
If the parent is a world renowned surgeon, than their contribution to the medical system would outweigh the cost of the child.

I know of a case similar to what I put forward (father was a very good surgeon,though maybe not 'world renowned'.) He said that he had enough money to put her through the private system and her case was mild enough that she'd be able to have a simple job.

Considering that a lot of people are seeking refuge from wars we caused, yes, it is our responsibility.

Age pensioners get a shit load of money.I know people on unemployment is on unemployment (She isn't a bludger, she hates being unemployed, and she takes any job she can. She puts her resume out for everything she can, even factory work, even though she's qualified to do better things. She lost her last job because they closed down.) and she gets less than half what my grandfather gets on the age pension.

Hell, by the time you and I are old enough to retire, there will be no such thing as 'age pension'. We'll be living solely off of our super, and that's not because of the refugees, that's because of the baby boomers.

You see all the pensioners wasting their money, basically living at the RSL, putting hundreds of dollars through the machines, and the exact same people whinge about how they can't pay their bills and how the age pension needs to be raised... when if they didn't spend more than half their money on pokies, they'd be fine.


The population density of Australia is 2.9 (people per square kilometre)
The population density of Japan is nearly 350!

So don't give me shit about how you'll run out of space or resources. We could easily double our population and as long as infrastructure kept up, we'd be fine.

Infrastructure struggling would more be 'lack of planning' and 'bad leaders' than 'having too many people', because the thing is, most native born Australians think they are too good for menial work, while foreigners don't have an over inflated ego, (that is why the farmers are literally flying in asian/pacific people, because Australians literally refuse to pick fruit, no matter what they pay)

So if the foreign population increased, you'd have enough workers to build what needs to be built.