It's almost 'straya day. In fact, January is 'straya month. Here are some suggestions on how to make the most of this glorious time:
Go to the summernats and watch guys do burnouts. Or better yet, host your own summernats on the street outside your house. At 3am Post a factually incorrect status on Facebook about how you should speak Australian when you're in Australia. Tell someone who was born in Australia (but has foreign parents) to go back home because their parents speak Chinese. Hate someone because they're a Muslim. Drink until you forget that we stole the land from the Aboriginals Get a sweet lower-back tattoo that has the southern cross on it, then attach several Chinese-made Australian flags to your Ford Make a stereotyped joke about an American, then talk about how awesome Pawn Stars is. Acceptable jokes include obesity and guns. It's preferable to make this joke while choking down food from your barbecue.
So carn. Siddown, grabbabeer and talk bout them fuckin' foreign cunts takin' ova our land and that. If you don't agree with me, then GET OUT. Country is full and we need all the space we can for native Australians -- the while people.
As much as I don't care for 'straya day, Big W has these awesome inflatable pool thong mattresses with an Aussie flag design on them. I haaave to get one.
Don't you know? If you don't know Waltzing Matilda, haven't tried pavlova or know who Don Bradman is, you can't possibly be Australian! Today Tonight told me so! Take your substantial contribution to the country and PISS OFF! I think I'm just going to keep linking videos. This sums up the attitude towards Muslims pretty well: [link] And this one's about Asians: [link] Have another one while I'm at it: [link]
Dude those beaches are bitches, nice to look at but if you get too close It'll slap you with a stinger. My arm had red tentacle marks running from arm pit to wrist.
So carn. Siddown, grabbabeer and talk bout them fuckin' foreign cunts takin' ova our land and that. If you don't agree with me, then GET OUT. Country is full and we need all the space we can for native Australians -- the while people.