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January 4, 2013
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Beat it. We're full!

:icongrayda:
Grayda Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2013  Professional Photographer
It's almost 'straya day. In fact, January is 'straya month. Here are some suggestions on how to make the most of this glorious time:

:bulletred: Go to the summernats and watch guys do burnouts. Or better yet, host your own summernats on the street outside your house. At 3am
:bulletred: Post a factually incorrect status on Facebook about how you should speak Australian when you're in Australia.
:bulletred: Tell someone who was born in Australia (but has foreign parents) to go back home because their parents speak Chinese.
:bulletred: Hate someone because they're a Muslim.
:bulletred: Drink until you forget that we stole the land from the Aboriginals
:bulletred: Get a sweet lower-back tattoo that has the southern cross on it, then attach several Chinese-made Australian flags to your Ford
:bulletred: Make a stereotyped joke about an American, then talk about how awesome Pawn Stars is. Acceptable jokes include obesity and guns. It's preferable to make this joke while choking down food from your barbecue.

So carn. Siddown, grabbabeer and talk bout them fuckin' foreign cunts takin' ova our land and that. If you don't agree with me, then GET OUT. Country is full and we need all the space we can for native Australians -- the while people.
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Devious Comments

:iconspudfuzz:
Spudfuzz Featured By Owner Jan 17, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
As much as I don't care for 'straya day, Big W has these awesome inflatable pool thong mattresses with an Aussie flag design on them. I haaave to get one. :iconiloveitmoreplz:
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:iconkorukikonaru:
KorukiKonaru Featured By Owner Jan 16, 2013
Don't you know? If you don't know Waltzing Matilda, haven't tried pavlova or know who Don Bradman is, you can't possibly be Australian! Today Tonight told me so! Take your substantial contribution to the country and PISS OFF!
I think I'm just going to keep linking videos. This sums up the attitude towards Muslims pretty well: [link] And this one's about Asians: [link]
Have another one while I'm at it: [link]
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:iconneurotype:
neurotype Featured By Owner Jan 16, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Y'all have too many nice beaches and it's spoiling you. Send some to me!
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:iconspudfuzz:
Spudfuzz Featured By Owner Jan 17, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Dude those beaches are bitches, nice to look at but if you get too close It'll slap you with a stinger. My arm had red tentacle marks running from arm pit to wrist. :stare:
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:iconneurotype:
neurotype Featured By Owner Jan 17, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
I CAN LIVE WITH THIS.

Seriously, beaches. Need.
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:iconmisterturtle:
MisterTurtle Featured By Owner Jan 15, 2013
Well, well, well, seems about the only difference between our countries is OUR bogans carry assault rifles.
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:iconhtimsnayr:
HtimsNayr Featured By Owner Jan 6, 2013
From the looks of this complaint, Australia and the US are the same country. Aside from the slang, that is.

Which makes the last point sort of hilarious.
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:iconpaellamagi:
paellamagi Featured By Owner Jan 5, 2013  Hobbyist Artisan Crafter
This is why I am going to not work that day, because since I work in bogan central. If I do I might wear a hijab just for the lulz.
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:icongrayda:
Grayda Featured By Owner Jan 5, 2013  Professional Photographer
You should hire a few wrestlers to do that, then laugh as the bogans get body slammed over s rail for starting something.
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:iconashieepants:
Ashieepants Featured By Owner Jan 5, 2013
Am I the only Australian that doesn't celebrate Australia Day? o_O

I honestly only care about either the day off work, or the public holiday rat- I should check on what day it falls.
DAMN IT. A MONDAY. :crying:
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:icongrayda:
Grayda Featured By Owner Jan 5, 2013  Professional Photographer
I don't celebrate it either. It's nice to feel patriotic and stuff, but I feel patriotic at other points throughout the year. 'sides, I get the day off so it's a sleep in and playstation day anyway.

Umm.. I mean, 'STRAYA DAY WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! GIDABEERINYAYACARNT!
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:iconashieepants:
Ashieepants Featured By Owner Jan 6, 2013
I feel more patriotic when the fireworks go off on NYE.

When they're decent. Unfortunately they have not been for 2 years.
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:icondorkface4:
dorkface4 Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2013
Can we please ship all the bogans somewhere else?
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:icongrayda:
Grayda Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2013  Professional Photographer
They did. From England to Australia. Ohh, you mean somewhere ELSE?

Welp, I hear Chechzoslapakistan is pretty nice at this time of year..
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:iconfullmetal-animator:
Fullmetal-Animator Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2013  Professional Filmographer
Hate the Muslims? My Januaries have been perfectly fine without doing that.
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:icongrayda:
Grayda Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2013  Professional Photographer
Then it's quite clear that you're not Australian. Homeward bound!

We could overlook that if you rip a sick skid in your ford without spilling your beer. Bonus points if you buckle the remaining beer in but not your child: [link]
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:iconsauti-alamisi:
Sauti-Alamisi Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
I don't know why people mistaken Australians as Chinese. They look nothing alike. :shifty:
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:icondivine--apathia:
divine--apathia Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2013  Hobbyist Photographer
...This wasn't about mistaking Australians for Chinese people. it is about telling Australians of Asian descent (IE, parents migrated, but the child was born in Australia) to go back 'home', when really, Australia is their home :shrug:
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:iconsauti-alamisi:
Sauti-Alamisi Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
I often go off topic because I am listening to music. :B

But I still don't get why.
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:iconpriteeboy:
priteeboy Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I'm on both sides of the fence here. On one hand I do feel like the Australian government is pretty much just letting anyone walk in here with the only hurdle being a short citizenship test that is on par with what a fifth-grader would have to do. Not to mention the questions themselves are pretty stupid...does knowing who was Australia's best cricket batsman really contribute to their integration into this country? other than having about 10 seconds worth of conversation material in a bar that likely won't be frequented by said Asians/Indians/Middle Easterners/whatever anyway? :evileye: As for language - well I agree making it mandatory to speak English is a pretty high hurdle, but you'd think some of these people would take it upon themselves to at least try, if not for us then for their own benefit, since not being able to speak the language of the locals in any country will likely see you scrubbing toilets and sharing an inner city unit with 12 other people for the rest of the life you spend there, which isn't exactly leaps and bounds from the crappy life the person was trying to escape :p In other countries, like Japan for instance - I hear it is considered very rude of immigrants to not attempt to learn and speak Japanese. And you can't blame them for expecting people who "want to be Japanese" - to start acting like one, the difference is they have no shame admitting that they hate foreigners waltzing in and pissing all over what they value about their country :p

Having said that, I hate the stereotypical douchebaggy "Auzzie Boy" - particularly aged between late teens to mid 30's even just as much. They are just as cliche and annoying as you described - mild yet permanent sunburn, southern cross tattoos and punching-kangaroo inflatables and all :facepalm: People like these drunken racist self-rightous douchebags make me kinda embarrassed to admit I'm Australian at times :X
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:icondivine--apathia:
divine--apathia Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2013  Hobbyist Photographer
requirement 2 or 4*
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:iconpriteeboy:
priteeboy Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
The Downs syndrome thing seems like a pretty low blow. One could say that such a child could be an extra strain on medical resources or something. After all - think of every country being an Ark, you only have so much space and so many resources. You really don't want to be wasting too much on either on the sick or handicapped, which sounds incredibly harsh and cutthroat but really is just the human way of doing what natural selection would have done anyway :judge: I'm not saying they don't deserve care, I can only imagine how hard it would be either living like that or being responsible for one like that :no: But the government doesn't, and shouldn't get personal like that since if it felt sorry and became generous to everyone who has a sad life's story it would be broke or seriously have to neglect more important issues :p

Which is what amazes and enrages lots of people about the asylum seeker issues. Yes their life sucks, yes we feel sorry for them, but no - it's not our fault or our responsibility. Pensioners who have lived and worked here all their lives don't even get that much financial support as these boatloads of people coming in from God-knows where. And then they riot and destroy their holding facilities because apparently the free cable TV, free food, free water, free games and entertainment and free healthcare they get, all funded by the working Australian's tax dollars isn't good enough for some people who just climbed out of the asshole of the world :disbelief:

If a country is an ark, they shouldn't pick up every little raft of suffering people they encounter, especially when there are millions of them floating around out there. Take on board too many at once and either you'll run out of space and resources or the whole damn ship will just sink :dead:
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:iconpaellamagi:
paellamagi Featured By Owner Jan 5, 2013  Hobbyist Artisan Crafter
It is our responsibility as decent human beings.
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:icondivine--apathia:
divine--apathia Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2013  Hobbyist Photographer
If the parent is a world renowned surgeon, than their contribution to the medical system would outweigh the cost of the child.

I know of a case similar to what I put forward (father was a very good surgeon,though maybe not 'world renowned'.) He said that he had enough money to put her through the private system and her case was mild enough that she'd be able to have a simple job.

Considering that a lot of people are seeking refuge from wars we caused, yes, it is our responsibility.

Age pensioners get a shit load of money.I know people on unemployment is on unemployment (She isn't a bludger, she hates being unemployed, and she takes any job she can. She puts her resume out for everything she can, even factory work, even though she's qualified to do better things. She lost her last job because they closed down.) and she gets less than half what my grandfather gets on the age pension.

Hell, by the time you and I are old enough to retire, there will be no such thing as 'age pension'. We'll be living solely off of our super, and that's not because of the refugees, that's because of the baby boomers.

You see all the pensioners wasting their money, basically living at the RSL, putting hundreds of dollars through the machines, and the exact same people whinge about how they can't pay their bills and how the age pension needs to be raised... when if they didn't spend more than half their money on pokies, they'd be fine.


The population density of Australia is 2.9 (people per square kilometre)
The population density of Japan is nearly 350!

So don't give me shit about how you'll run out of space or resources. We could easily double our population and as long as infrastructure kept up, we'd be fine.

Infrastructure struggling would more be 'lack of planning' and 'bad leaders' than 'having too many people', because the thing is, most native born Australians think they are too good for menial work, while foreigners don't have an over inflated ego, (that is why the farmers are literally flying in asian/pacific people, because Australians literally refuse to pick fruit, no matter what they pay)

So if the foreign population increased, you'd have enough workers to build what needs to be built.
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:iconnicolettethestrange:
Nicolettethestrange Featured By Owner Jan 15, 2013
I am lucky enough to sill have two sets of grandparents who are pensioners and neither spend that 'shit load of money' on pokies and neither do their brothers and sisters who are also pensioners. If anything my grandparents and their siblings are struggling because of utility bills, council rates, car payments, home and contents and car insurance, prices at the supermarket and taxes on these slowing indexing in cost each year. After money is spent on these little is left over for them to buy new clothes from Lowes or Millers to wear (and they need it considering they've been wearing the same clothes for years till they've gotten holes just so they can save a bit of money that way).

My grandparents own their own homes too, but yet they are still struggling. By all means just lump all pensioners in to the same boat because to you they 'make a shit load of money' and it is enough to cover all their costs :roll:.

Personally I'd be less inclined to judge a pensioner sitting in an RSL blowing their pension money than a middle aged man with a young family to support. To those pensioners particularly who have lost a spouse at least the RSL is a place they can go to go have a meal, or tea/coffee, or a schooner or two and catch up with their friends and socialize and get out of the house.

Some of them go purely for the entertainment anyway. I have a friend who works in aged care and they take their residents to the RSL regularly for live performances. After the performance my friend says they usually let them go to the gambling lounge and she's never had an issue with anyone spending over their self set gambling allowance.

Even if some pensioners are loosing money in the process at least their last days on earth are slightly happy ones considering all the shit they've endured leading up to that point (most I'd imagine being ex war veterans or widows and struggling with an abundance of health issues). Unless you've served time in the army and/or fought during WW1, or WW2 or the Vietnam war and/or have lost a spouse and/ or are riddled with arthritis then who are you to judge them for how they spend their time and funds during their retirement? :roll:
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:icondivine--apathia:
divine--apathia Featured By Owner Jan 15, 2013  Hobbyist Photographer
entertainment = no.2 priority *
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:icondivine--apathia:
divine--apathia Featured By Owner Jan 15, 2013  Hobbyist Photographer
You're fucking stupid. :lmao:

They have shitloads of money,compared to what some others have to live on. If you think pensioners have it so hard... think about people trying to find a job... living on half of that money. they have to feed themselves, look after themselves just like the pensioners... but they also have to spend money on getting to job interviews and buying clothes good enough to go to job interviews in.

Please point out where I said every single pensioner is exactly like that? Oh wait, I didn't. I live with my retired grandparents. My grandfather has never stepped a foot in a RSL, and my grandmother has only ever worked in them. My grandparents have never gambled outside of a footy tipping comp. My grandfather has a tumour, and my grandmother has asbestosis. They don't have to whittle away their savings in gambling :roll:

No, the majority of Aged pensioners are not fucking veterans. veterans going on other benefit schemes, dipstick.


If someone is crying about how bad they have it, when they can't fucking budget, I have absolutely no sympathy. It's really simple fucking budgeting.
Bills, food, electricity, and other necessarities = no.1 priority
entertainment = no.1 priority.

If someone can't eat because they used their money on the pokies, it's no one's fault than theirs, and when they are taking charity away from people who really can't eat, I can judge. I've been helping out with charities, and I've had to turn away children who haven't eaten in two days, because the alcoholic, gambling addict wouldn't leave the charity without taking the last bit of our stock.


But hey, POOR PENISONERS!!!!!! :roll:
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:iconpriteeboy:
priteeboy Featured By Owner Jan 5, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Well I gotta admit, I don't mind being upstaged when someone delivers a well thought out response without any bias towards one end or the other. This is how I learn things :nod:

I suppose in the surgeon's case their contribution to the medical system would outweigh the burden that the child would put on it. But that is a very specific, one-in-a-million case. Most people with such dependent-heavy children would be average Joes working a variety of jobs, being a variety of intelligence, ethnicity's, etc. Few would be top grade surgeons who could justify their child's massive drain on medical resources with the fact they contribute more. If not That would just be another case of "taking more than you give" if the parent can't fully pay for their child's medical, education and care needs :hmm:

Fully agree with pensioners. My nan is an exception who is very against gambling, drinking and blowing money on social events like those (probably the only smart thing about here, sadly beyond that point she's mental :crazy:) But she always has that depressing "getting just barely enough to live" vibe about her. Remember Australia is a place where everything is disproportionately expensive compared to most other countries. Especially in Sydney. Plus old people frequently get ripped off by others, but I suppose that isn't the governments fault. But yes - I work in a club whose main source of revenue is the gaming area. And at least half of the customers are middle-aged or over, feeding note after note into those machines. What is it with old people and gambling? :disbelief:

I agree with regards to farming and Auzzies "Not wanting to do crap jobs". I think this is a generational and cultural thing mostly that is relatively new (I'm sure our parents and grandparents would have been slapped across the face if they said that picking fruit was "below them" for a first job :slap:). I blame Generation Y even though I'm technically part of it, and the desire not to get their hands dirty or have to work too hard at their jobs. Foreigners I admit usually have a stronger work ethic and don't complain about their jobs as much, no matter how dirty. Maybe they just aren't as influenced by the spoiled culture of the white locally-born :shrug:

I'm always saying we need build new cities from scratch too. Las Vegas and Dubai are excellent examples of how a thriving city good enough even to bring in heaps of tourists can be built in the middle of the desert. Australia has a bad habit of just expanding the same cities that have been here forever and never making new dots on the map. Paving over whatever few green areas this continent has left instead of saving them and building elsewhere that has about as much of an environment as Mars. I could go on about this forever :iconyesyesyesplz:
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:icondivine--apathia:
divine--apathia Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2013  Hobbyist Photographer
It's actually not that easy to get in, at all. Basically, you either have to be a refugee, someone's spouse, new Zealander or in an 'occupation of demand'. Even if you fill requirement 1 or 4, there is heaps of things that can stop you from getting in. You could be a world renowned, ground breaking, top of the top neurosurgeon and oh, you have a down syndrome child? Lol, nope, can't come in.
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:iconamalaazula:
AmalaAzula Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2013   Digital Artist
I live in Canada and that's all I have to share. :aww:
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:iconmasterplanner:
MasterPlanner Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2013  Professional Artisan Crafter
I'm an American and I can't understand half this complaint :dummy:
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:icon0rg:
0rg Featured By Owner Jan 14, 2013
I'm an American and I understand all of it, you must be stupid
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:iconmasterplanner:
MasterPlanner Featured By Owner Jan 14, 2013  Professional Artisan Crafter
That or simply sleep-deprived when I first read it. :B
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:iconcake-fiend:
cake-fiend Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
The first 6 sound like America, which makes the 7th more funny.
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:iconlobosabio:
LoboSabio Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2013
I feel as though this complaint has gone sailing over my head.
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:icontidal-wave-art:
Tidal-Wave-Art Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
I'm sleepy. :sleep:
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:icon0rg:
0rg Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2013
Please. Like the abbos were doing anything with that land anyway.
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:icontheleaveshaveeyes:
theleaveshaveeyes Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2013  Professional Photographer
"Make a stereotyped joke about an American, then talk about how awesome Pawn Stars is. Acceptable jokes include obesity and guns. It's preferable to make this joke while choking down food from your barbecue."

What's funny about this is that Australia is up there with the US as one of the fattest countries in the world.
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:iconmurphysdinnerparty:
MurphysDinnerParty Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Surely not, because the United States is the only country with fat people. We are also the only country to have McDonalds. Damn United States :iconimhappyplz:
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:icontheleaveshaveeyes:
theleaveshaveeyes Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2013  Professional Photographer
We're also the only country with guns, because nobody in Australia ever hunts anything or shoots foreign animals...
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:icondivine--apathia:
divine--apathia Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2013  Hobbyist Photographer
the brackets should have been after farming, not recreation =.=
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:icondivine--apathia:
divine--apathia Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2013  Hobbyist Photographer
Yes, we have guns, however, America has 88.8 guns per 100 person. Australia is ranked 42, with 15 guns per 100 people.

Furthermore, the vast majority of those guns are for mostly hunting/farming, and a few for recreation.(ie, protecting animals, putting animals down etc.). For the most part don't own guns for the sake of owning guns or for 'protection'.

We also haven't had a mass shooting in 17 years, and when we do have mass shootings, we don't run out and buy more guns, we actually tighten our gun laws.

So you can't really say Australia's gun situation is the same as America's...
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:icongogo-t-w:
GoGo-T-W Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2013   Traditional Artist
Gun laws in America do tend to tighten up after a shooting. At least by state.
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:iconlobosabio:
LoboSabio Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2013
Don't forget ignorance and stupidity! The rest of the world is populated by geniuses.
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:iconpriteeboy:
priteeboy Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I gotta defend the US (and Australia here). We might not be very populated by brain surgeons - but at the same time it's not like Africa or Asia are largely populated by Rocket scientists either :greetings: They are probably as dumb as we are, just in a different sense or for a different reason, but that doesn't matter - dumb is dumb when you're only analyzing the dumb-ness and not the source of the dumb-ness :dummy:
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:iconmurphysdinnerparty:
MurphysDinnerParty Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Change a couple of things around and you have some features to the United States in there. :la:
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:iconamurderofcrowws:
amurderofcrowws Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2013  Student General Artist
Ever watched the show Dumb, Drunk and Racist?
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:iconpriteeboy:
priteeboy Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Just like anything that's actually worth watching on ABC or SBS - it's one of those shows I always see advertised - but never actually see :grump:
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:iconamurderofcrowws:
amurderofcrowws Featured By Owner Jan 8, 2013  Student General Artist
Heh, I only saw a tinsy bit of it, I'll have to rent it and watch the whole thing sometime. :D
Reminds me of the incident of the French girl getting verbally abused in a bus last year. Makes me sad.
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:iconsbkmulletman:
sbkMulletMan Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2013
...Fox News?
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