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December 30, 2012
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Replies: 28

My shit Christmas.

:icondagetsparrow:
DagetSparrow Featured By Owner Dec 30, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
My second complaint ever. Woo.

So me and my family travelled up to Queensland, Australia to go camping with family. I hate camping, but that's not the bad part.

My parents built themselves a camper van on the back of a truck they purchased off of eBay. During the three day trip to get to our campground, our only sun shade broke off, meaning that we would have no shelter from the hot Queensland sun. That's not the bad part either.

When we arrived at the camp, we were denied our reserved spot near the water (for water-skiing, see), and had to settle for somewhere much further away...and on a slope. The entire time I was terrified that the camper would tip over and destroy everything we had. That's still not the bad part.

We had brought several eskys with us to keep our meat, fruit and drinks cold on the the way up. Unfortunately, Queensland was so hot that the ice melted and almost all of the food had to be thrown out from being mouldy or soggy. That's not the bad part.

My dad was sick the entire road trip up. We thought it was the flu, since I'd caught it off of him as well. Then on Christmas Eve, his coughing got so bad (he'd been losing sleep because of it), he was taken to the doctor, where he was diagnosed with pneumonia. He spent Christmas Day in hospital.

That's not the bad part. This is the bad part:

Dad came out of hospital with about two days worth of medication in his bloodstream, so understandably we attempted to get home as quickly as possible. During that trip, dad had a small coughing fit...and veered off of the road. Seeing a telegraph pole immediately in our trajectory, I proceeded to scream "JesusShitFuck" (in the highest voice I've ever managed), which alerted dad. Dad attempted to swerve back onto the road, and smashed the camper into the telegraph pole. Said camper was smashed to pieces. Literally. The car we were towing fishtailed and was wrapped around the telegraph pole, which spilled transformer oil and blacked out the town.

Thankfully, no one was hurt, including our pet Corella who was in the camper. Almost everything we had in the camper itself survived, and the truck itself wasn't damaged, meaning that we still had something to drive home with. We spent the next three hours cleaning the wreckage up alongside everyone else in the street - including one old man who spent the entire time waiting for us to turn our backs so he could steal anything he could get his hands on (I of course never gave him the chance). We had to pay $11,000 for the cleanup. Upfront.

All in all; an utterly shit Christmas. I'm gonna go play some Red Dead: Redemption and forget about it.
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Devious Comments

:iconmisterturtle:
MisterTurtle Featured By Owner Dec 30, 2012
Someone needs hugging. :hug:
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:iconshininginthedarkness:
The type of pet is oddly unspecified, leaving it up to one's imagination.
I'm going with 'ostrich'.
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:iconcharlierenwick:
CharlieRenwick Featured By Owner Dec 30, 2012  Student Filmographer
Wait, even better: [link]
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:iconcharlierenwick:
CharlieRenwick Featured By Owner Dec 30, 2012  Student Filmographer
I think the pet was actually a "corella".

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:iconikiska:
iKiska Featured By Owner Dec 30, 2012  Student General Artist
I'm going with kangaroo, because this Complaint is set in Australia.
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:iconmisterturtle:
MisterTurtle Featured By Owner Dec 30, 2012
No, dipshit, every Aussie worth his gratuitous chest-hair knows that the koala is the pet of choice.
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:iconikiska:
iKiska Featured By Owner Dec 30, 2012  Student General Artist
If I were an Aussie I'd favor the kangaroo. :ohnoes:
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:iconshininginthedarkness:
I was GOING to say that, because it's a comical visual, but it sounded so stereotypical.
Ooh, I've got it! Cassowary!
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:iconikiska:
iKiska Featured By Owner Dec 30, 2012  Student General Artist
Ooh, cassowary is better. Corella the Cassowary. :la:
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:icongoddess-trinity:
Goddess-Trinity Featured By Owner Dec 30, 2012
I'm going with Capybara. :'D
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