Sorry for prioritizing cancer survival over hairloss! Cancer patients, do not read.
I just got banned somewhere for being "insensitive". While people there get away with the most awful insults ("you have no dignity", "mentally ill", etc.). I had no idea there was a rule for sensitivity. After all, I cannot be expected to respect unwritten and subjective rules. I don't do "unreasonable" when reading and signing Terms of Service and nowhere did it say "Never complain about sick peoples' attitudes".
All I said, and I was right, was that I do not believe chemo patients, people facing cancer and possibly death, should be fussing as much as they do about their stupid HAIR. Excuse me, really? Silence me because I said they should realize that what is temporarily ruining their silly HAIR, is saving their LIFE? Don't you just love it when Americans and their free speech - that was an American website, and no, not about cancer at all - draw a line where you accidentally hurt someone's unreasonable sensitivities? Slander sure, insults sure, hate speech absolutely - "Get your act together" in a "Personal Rants" forum, oh no, that must be silenced. Westboro Baptists, "Thank God for dead fag-ass soldiers"? OHMAGHERD FREEDUMB HURRDURR!
"That was very insensitive so we banned you because we have users undergoing chemo at the moment" - and I could have known that, yes? No, I could not. And regardless, I think it's actually helpful to be reminded that your hair is a lesser concern and that you can relax and just go with your chemo and SURVIVE CANCER. Who is so sick they need chemo, but worry about some dead cells on their heads that will grow back anyway? I'm not the one smacking cancer patients in the face, cancer patiens and their awarenessians who think their hair should be anywhere near the middle or top of their priority list, are!
See, it's just absurd. You SURVIVE cancer, you are NOT going to die, but - you are BALD, how horrible.
And all this crap of "You're still beautiful", well, put your money where your mouth is and don't get a wig, don't get hairloss pity parties. And don't give any of those either. A beautiful person, regardless of gender, needs no hair at all. No hair, and no makeup. Unless you were ugly before you got sick, YOU DO NOT NEED A WIG.
And don't give me the "You wouldn't know" crap, I had my hair falling out to a point where it clogged the toilet and eventually shaved it off entirely until my head could be used as a mirror and I have the video to proove it. I loved my long hair, it meant a lot to me, and it was cute, but not a single tear was shed, not a single frown, because IT'S ONLY HAIR and it'll grow back! If I'd had cancer on top of it, I would have pointed and laughed at the hair on the floor because it wants me to worry about it WHILE I CANNOT BE ARSED BECAUSE I AM FIGHTING CANCER!!!!!! Bigger battles, see?! And except for a bunch of asshole strangers, nobody told me it was ugly, on the contrary, and guess what? I believe those saying it looked/looks good, because IT FUCKING DOES! If your face isn't ugly, your baldie won't make it!
And they act like I made fun of people suffering from cancer, while the opposite was true. Unlike some of them, I was actually the one to see and point out what's important, so they can focus on and rejoyce for that. It just WAS NOT HAIR.
You know what pitty parties and the whole "Aaaw c'mere, you poor thing, let's get that fixed" do? They reinforce the recipient's notion that they are actually in a bad spot, and that there actually is a need to be pitied and feel pathetic. It rubs it in their face that they have a problem (or are imagining one). Pity parties and problem concealers rub your problems in your face with some salt and acid. It's the attitude that makes you pitiful! I pity someone far less when they do not conceal their "flaws" because they appear confident and at peace with their situation. WHO would WANT to feel pathetic on top of being sick? Sure, let's get you a crappy sad attitude so you stay sick longer. It's been evidenced that a positive attitude and confidence will contribute to your recovery from a variety of illnesses. But no, you MUST cry for your HAIR once that TUMOR is fried.
Seriously, I appreicate the hardship of fighting cancer. I respect THAT part of it. I just don't respect horribly ill people for fussing over something so silly compared to what they're hospitalized for. Or maybe that's because I got closer to dying (as in "Charge... CLEAR!") than a lot of those people and my 30 inch hair didn't help much. Priorities. Buy some.
So while I learned not to talk back to admins and mods even when they are blatantly and fundamentally WRONG, it has to be said that those over there, need a lobotomy. With a shotgun.
All I said, and I was right, was that I do not believe chemo patients, people facing cancer and possibly death, should be fussing as much as they do about their stupid HAIR. Excuse me, really? Silence me because I said they should realize that what is temporarily ruining their silly HAIR, is saving their LIFE? Don't you just love it when Americans and their free speech - that was an American website, and no, not about cancer at all - draw a line where you accidentally hurt someone's unreasonable sensitivities? Slander sure, insults sure, hate speech absolutely - "Get your act together" in a "Personal Rants" forum, oh no, that must be silenced. Westboro Baptists, "Thank God for dead fag-ass soldiers"? OHMAGHERD FREEDUMB HURRDURR!
"That was very insensitive so we banned you because we have users undergoing chemo at the moment" - and I could have known that, yes? No, I could not. And regardless, I think it's actually helpful to be reminded that your hair is a lesser concern and that you can relax and just go with your chemo and SURVIVE CANCER. Who is so sick they need chemo, but worry about some dead cells on their heads that will grow back anyway? I'm not the one smacking cancer patients in the face, cancer patiens and their awarenessians who think their hair should be anywhere near the middle or top of their priority list, are!
See, it's just absurd. You SURVIVE cancer, you are NOT going to die, but - you are BALD, how horrible.
And all this crap of "You're still beautiful", well, put your money where your mouth is and don't get a wig, don't get hairloss pity parties. And don't give any of those either. A beautiful person, regardless of gender, needs no hair at all. No hair, and no makeup. Unless you were ugly before you got sick, YOU DO NOT NEED A WIG.
And don't give me the "You wouldn't know" crap, I had my hair falling out to a point where it clogged the toilet and eventually shaved it off entirely until my head could be used as a mirror and I have the video to proove it. I loved my long hair, it meant a lot to me, and it was cute, but not a single tear was shed, not a single frown, because IT'S ONLY HAIR and it'll grow back! If I'd had cancer on top of it, I would have pointed and laughed at the hair on the floor because it wants me to worry about it WHILE I CANNOT BE ARSED BECAUSE I AM FIGHTING CANCER!!!!!! Bigger battles, see?! And except for a bunch of asshole strangers, nobody told me it was ugly, on the contrary, and guess what? I believe those saying it looked/looks good, because IT FUCKING DOES! If your face isn't ugly, your baldie won't make it!
And they act like I made fun of people suffering from cancer, while the opposite was true. Unlike some of them, I was actually the one to see and point out what's important, so they can focus on and rejoyce for that. It just WAS NOT HAIR.
You know what pitty parties and the whole "Aaaw c'mere, you poor thing, let's get that fixed" do? They reinforce the recipient's notion that they are actually in a bad spot, and that there actually is a need to be pitied and feel pathetic. It rubs it in their face that they have a problem (or are imagining one). Pity parties and problem concealers rub your problems in your face with some salt and acid. It's the attitude that makes you pitiful! I pity someone far less when they do not conceal their "flaws" because they appear confident and at peace with their situation. WHO would WANT to feel pathetic on top of being sick? Sure, let's get you a crappy sad attitude so you stay sick longer. It's been evidenced that a positive attitude and confidence will contribute to your recovery from a variety of illnesses. But no, you MUST cry for your HAIR once that TUMOR is fried.
Seriously, I appreicate the hardship of fighting cancer. I respect THAT part of it. I just don't respect horribly ill people for fussing over something so silly compared to what they're hospitalized for. Or maybe that's because I got closer to dying (as in "Charge... CLEAR!") than a lot of those people and my 30 inch hair didn't help much. Priorities. Buy some.
So while I learned not to talk back to admins and mods even when they are blatantly and fundamentally WRONG, it has to be said that those over there, need a lobotomy. With a shotgun.
Comments164
Join the community to add your comment. Already a deviant? Log In
People are vain fuckers. "I lost all my hair!" Hello? It grows back. If you're so worried about your hair, stop taking the treatments and give them to someone who rather save their live than worry about how people are going to see them.
Yes i agree with you....my hair would probably be the least of my worries...however this is coming from someone who couldn't give two fucks if anyone did not like the way i looked, I don't wear makeup aside if i want to look like a kitty (hence my prof pic)
I also find it interesting of how many hateful comments there are....ignorant small minded people eh?
I also find it interesting of how many hateful comments there are....ignorant small minded people eh?
Complaining about others whining about their hair loss is somewhat beside the point; that's something that brings them all together in not-so-tragic way, because it's one of the few not-so-harmful effects of chemotheraphy. As another deviant stated below: "If I got sick, I'd be one of those bitching more about my hair than chemo". It's a lot more depressing to talk about your pain and suffering. So if sharing their experiences through discussing how they deal with hair loss gives them joy, why should you have the right to deny them that? It's childish to even think you would. You're not helping anyone with your complaints.
Anna, honey, don't let the dumb asses who are construing what you say get you down.
While I know as a psychology major there's some psychological damage when you start having your hair fall out in clumps in your hands, but that's why people don't let it get patchy and just shave it all.
The act of shaving it is actually supposed to SAVE you the mental trauma of losing all your hair bit by bit. Hence why they have most people shave it before they eve start treatment. The people on here need to understand not only by shaving your head when undergoing chemo, you're not only in a battle with cancer, but saving yourself the mental breakdown of losing all your fucking hair.
While I know as a psychology major there's some psychological damage when you start having your hair fall out in clumps in your hands, but that's why people don't let it get patchy and just shave it all.
The act of shaving it is actually supposed to SAVE you the mental trauma of losing all your hair bit by bit. Hence why they have most people shave it before they eve start treatment. The people on here need to understand not only by shaving your head when undergoing chemo, you're not only in a battle with cancer, but saving yourself the mental breakdown of losing all your fucking hair.
Exactly, just shave it to begin with, or put a hat on it. I'm not even religious but I think that even most women look cute with some kind of hat. I'd never deny there are more pleasant things than losing your hair, but it's "managably horrible" since you can trust it's temporary. I had 17 inch hair when I decided I was not going to hope for stupid rosemarin-and-oil goo to cure it of the decade of abuse it's suffered from bleaches and dyes, in addition to my severe malnutrition (gastric bypass, too ADHD to remember taking my supplements). My hair growing back 100x better than it was, was the one thing I could be sure of, so it was one "mutilation" I knew was going to do good. Other problems aren't so easy to cope with and don't solve themselves after a few months, and once that sinks in, your hair becomes a joke. And, I appreciate your objectivity 
Yeah, I tried to start up an argument with some of these people and they just run you in circles, I saw that you stopped replying after a few of them, and I think that's probably best. Most are a bit unreasonable.
I learned the harsh way - arguing and getting angry until bludgeoned by the banhammer - to just walk away when debate becomes pointless and starts going in circles. When I said everything I had to say and the other person is still going back to what I've just explained, I'm out. This crap doesn't pay my bills, nor does it clean the cat shit boxes. Not that I don't realize the sensitive and scream-fest material nature of some of my posts, it's just that I don't have an obligation to stick around after initial venting. When I was younger and dumber, I thought walking away was always cowardly and to be avoided at all cost, now I think bending over backwards to stand your ground in a fight that isn't worth a glass of stale beer, is just dumb and needlessly painful.
Exactly. Besides, like you said, the whole point was to vent about something, so why stick around cause people have a stick up their ass about it?
I love my hair. I would be terribly sad if it went away, even if that was because of chemo. Not that I would ever choose to get chemo. It only has a 2% success rate.
2%? Holy crap. But let's put it this way, let's say you have cancer, get chemo, are healed, and have only your hair to mourn? It'll grow back and it's just bought you a lifetime of growing your hair back.
You are incredibly stupid. But you're a Jew so I'll simplify this as much as I possibly can for you:
People don't deny chemotherapy treatment because their hair falls out. There are a lot more relevant things that doctors discuss with their patients before administering: high risk of heart attack, lung collapse, fatigue and depression*, severe gastrointestinal upset**, immune system failure, oh and your personal favourite: hair loss. To recap: CHEMOTHERAPY IS INCREDIBLY PAINFUL. Imagine not being able to hold down a meal for weeks on end, hopefulyy you're not so stupid that I have to paint a more detailed picture for you.
These "pity parties" that you've gone on about in the original post. I'd like to see some proof to support this claim, because I'm CALLING BULLSHIT on your pathetic waste of a post.
*The real kind, not the "waaaah I'ma slit my wrists" bullshit you're likely to have in journals/blogs. Fatigue very similar to CFS - look it the fuck up.
**Think along the lines of: severe vomiting, diarrhea, constant heartburn, dehydration, resulting in very serious weight loss
Finally; 8/10. You made me not only read your textual vomit, but I gave you the time to also respond. Could have gotten a 10/10 if I raged, but no.
People don't deny chemotherapy treatment because their hair falls out. There are a lot more relevant things that doctors discuss with their patients before administering: high risk of heart attack, lung collapse, fatigue and depression*, severe gastrointestinal upset**, immune system failure, oh and your personal favourite: hair loss. To recap: CHEMOTHERAPY IS INCREDIBLY PAINFUL. Imagine not being able to hold down a meal for weeks on end, hopefulyy you're not so stupid that I have to paint a more detailed picture for you.
These "pity parties" that you've gone on about in the original post. I'd like to see some proof to support this claim, because I'm CALLING BULLSHIT on your pathetic waste of a post.
*The real kind, not the "waaaah I'ma slit my wrists" bullshit you're likely to have in journals/blogs. Fatigue very similar to CFS - look it the fuck up.
**Think along the lines of: severe vomiting, diarrhea, constant heartburn, dehydration, resulting in very serious weight loss
Finally; 8/10. You made me not only read your textual vomit, but I gave you the time to also respond. Could have gotten a 10/10 if I raged, but no.
In A way, you have just proven her correct then...they have no reason to complain about the hair loss. As YOU YOURSELF just said they have a ton of other symptoms to worry about then! Also if this post offends you so very much that you send this long mean hateful reply, then why not just oh i don't know NOT READ IT... Nice speaking with you Hope you have a fantidlyastic day!!
Hope you have a fantidlyastic day!!If my post is a waste, why go through the trouble of writing a long reply that misses the point by a continent and a half? And how do you manage to be both a Jew-hating racist scum, and complain about my attitude toward people mourning their hair rather than celebrating their survival, as if you're such a good person (obviously, you collectively hate Jews which means you're hateful of people who are no better or worse than gay, black, short, fat, or Asin people - and collective minority hatred is a strong indicator that you do not get to preach to others).
"severe vomiting, diarrhea, constant heartburn, dehydration, resulting in very serious weight loss"
So? When did I rag on any of that? What exactly have the pain and other SERIOUS side effects of chemotherapy to do with bitching over HAIR? When did I say "You don't get to whine over weightloss, pain, and vomiting"? If YOU weren't so mind-bogglingly dumb, you would have realized I was referring exclusively to SURVIVORS bitching over having lost some HAIR to live to grow new hair.
I'm not the one who's stupid. I was neither implying that I didn't know the ACTUAL problems with chemotherapy (hairloss is a pure vanity issue, physical pain is not), nor that I took issue with cancer patients in general. Plus, you assume that ethnicity influences intelligence.
Now who's stupid? Being a Judenfeind who completely misses the point before opening your yap, isn't what I would normally encounter among people with a Mensa-level IQ. Also, you stupid creature, I didn't MAKE you read anything. You chose to click the title and read what follows, and you chose to reply. Your hatred of minorities, your missing the point, and your claim that I made you do anything while not even knowing of your existence, indicate you are the stupid one.
"severe vomiting, diarrhea, constant heartburn, dehydration, resulting in very serious weight loss"
So? When did I rag on any of that? What exactly have the pain and other SERIOUS side effects of chemotherapy to do with bitching over HAIR? When did I say "You don't get to whine over weightloss, pain, and vomiting"? If YOU weren't so mind-bogglingly dumb, you would have realized I was referring exclusively to SURVIVORS bitching over having lost some HAIR to live to grow new hair.
I'm not the one who's stupid. I was neither implying that I didn't know the ACTUAL problems with chemotherapy (hairloss is a pure vanity issue, physical pain is not), nor that I took issue with cancer patients in general. Plus, you assume that ethnicity influences intelligence.
Now who's stupid? Being a Judenfeind who completely misses the point before opening your yap, isn't what I would normally encounter among people with a Mensa-level IQ. Also, you stupid creature, I didn't MAKE you read anything. You chose to click the title and read what follows, and you chose to reply. Your hatred of minorities, your missing the point, and your claim that I made you do anything while not even knowing of your existence, indicate you are the stupid one.
You didn't "rag" on about any of that, that is THE POINT. You just assume the people who deny cancer treatment do because they don't want to lose their hair. You're fucked.
Provide evidence backing up your claim or seriously, shut the fuck up about this topic that you clearly know nothing about.
Provide evidence backing up your claim or seriously, shut the fuck up about this topic that you clearly know nothing about.
Yeah, so?
Hair can be important to people. It's a psychological thing. It's just one more reminder that you're dying of cancer staring you in the face every day.
People aren't made of stone. They have feelings. When they're going through a tough time like that, they need empathy.
Honestly, by saying the things you are saying, you're not helping.
People can be worried about more than one thing at a time, too, you know.
Hair can be important to people. It's a psychological thing. It's just one more reminder that you're dying of cancer staring you in the face every day.
People aren't made of stone. They have feelings. When they're going through a tough time like that, they need empathy.
Honestly, by saying the things you are saying, you're not helping.
People can be worried about more than one thing at a time, too, you know.
Everybody is able to use free speech people, not just people dealing with cancer. Whether that person is wrong it shouldn't matter. Theres people who have talked about those kids in Connecticut, and how they should have died as soon as they were born, you don't see them getting banned. The point is, everybody needs to shut up and stop getting their "feelings hurt" all the time. Thats why bad things are happening in this world. Its called ignoring the commenter. Stop being like kids and grow up, all of you.
The main reason they complain about their hair is that a) it's one more thing to deal with on top of all the other shit they're dealing with and b) it makes them feel even *less* in control than they are. It makes it harder to ignore that they're sick, if their hair is falling out. Not only do they feel like shit from chemo/cancer, not only do they have to deal with their own mortality, not only do they have to deal with astronomical bills, now they also have NO hair.
If you've never been bald or had a shaved head, your hair is likely very important to your self-image. Take it away and it's a big shock, and yes a loss in a way. Sometimes it's easier to complain about losing your hair, than it is to face their real fears about what they are going through.
In other words you're being a douche-bag who can't see any other perspective and try and understand why hair-loss would be so important to someone facing cancer.
If you've never been bald or had a shaved head, your hair is likely very important to your self-image. Take it away and it's a big shock, and yes a loss in a way. Sometimes it's easier to complain about losing your hair, than it is to face their real fears about what they are going through.
In other words you're being a douche-bag who can't see any other perspective and try and understand why hair-loss would be so important to someone facing cancer.
Are they refusing treatment because of their hair? No? Then grow up. They're allowed to fuss over it if they want. They aren't saying they'd rather die, they're still getting the treatment. And, quite frankly, it's none of your business.
You're allowed to worry about more than one thing. Even when you have cancer, life goes on. And hair loss is a factor there. It also has a psychological impact whether you want it to or not, and poor psychological health is known to cause complications during cancer treatment, so there is certainly a practical aspect to it.
It marks you out, as you pass from the realm of the well to the realm of the sick. You get the chemo look. Weight loss, sallow skin, hollow cheeks, bags under the eyes, stick limbs, bald. Hair comes out in clumps, and it itches terribly. It has a massive impact on happiness in a capacity quite apart from the obvious effect of the spectre of death that looms over all residents of Tumour Town. Dealing with just that little aspect goes a long way for cancer patients and it improves their health and quality of life.
Would you also disregard the concerns of those complaining about the violent vomiting that the chemo causes? The or the sterility? Loss of appetite and libido? They might be fighting cancer, but the fact is that the fight itself strips pieces of you away, one by one, both visibly and invisibly, which is why many come to decide that the cost of the fight isn't worth the victory. Cancer patients are well within their rights to worry about this and seek support for it, and to tell those who come along to belittle such efforts to fuck off.
It marks you out, as you pass from the realm of the well to the realm of the sick. You get the chemo look. Weight loss, sallow skin, hollow cheeks, bags under the eyes, stick limbs, bald. Hair comes out in clumps, and it itches terribly. It has a massive impact on happiness in a capacity quite apart from the obvious effect of the spectre of death that looms over all residents of Tumour Town. Dealing with just that little aspect goes a long way for cancer patients and it improves their health and quality of life.
Would you also disregard the concerns of those complaining about the violent vomiting that the chemo causes? The or the sterility? Loss of appetite and libido? They might be fighting cancer, but the fact is that the fight itself strips pieces of you away, one by one, both visibly and invisibly, which is why many come to decide that the cost of the fight isn't worth the victory. Cancer patients are well within their rights to worry about this and seek support for it, and to tell those who come along to belittle such efforts to fuck off.
Yeah, cancer patients undergoing chemo are pussies. Good point. Vain fuckers. Yeah, I agree. Some trivial fucking wig that might make a cancer patient feel better about themselves in some way is just going TOO FAR in the vanity department.
thats a great mentality to have if your fighting cancer but not everyone who does manages to be so severely stubborn.
one of the biggest struggles in life is feeling good about yourself. it becomes even harder when something tragic and scary happens to you. when you get hit with cancer your health goes down and then you begin to feel like shit. then you not only feel like shit because your dying but also because you know it. then your hair starts falling out. you start loosing weight and look sickly which causes people to be nervous when their around you. your self esteem goes down and even if your not nearly dead you might begin to want to be. one simple thing that makes a difference is feeling normal which stops you from going insane. having hair is something that feels normal. looking less sickly so your family doesn't worry helps make you feel better. so yes small things like hair or looking and feeling as normal as you can can make so much of a difference because having cancer and fighting cancer are very different.
by the way not everyone who does chemo lives through cancer. and if i die i want to do so with some dignity not a withered stick that's not even recognizable.
by the way not everyone who does chemo lives through cancer. and if i die i want to do so with some dignity not a withered stick that's not even recognizable.
Okay first off it was probably less what you said and more how you said it because you come across and needlessly agressive. Second off, it's not sexism or any other of those weird points you brought up. It's all about control. People are happier when they have control over their own lives. Control over what they want to do in a day, how they appear and all that jazz. When all your hair is falling out that's just a screaming reminder to a person that they don't have control over their own bodies anymore and that is what is going to get a lot of people down. Just because hair loss didn't get you down or concerned you in the slightest doesn't mean everyone else should feel the same way.
tl;dr shh you're really angry and I don't understand why.
tl;dr shh you're really angry and I don't understand why.
Everything I wanted to say has already been said. I will tell you that the sooner you accept not everyone will feel, react, or make decisions the same way you do, the happier you will be. So what you don't find the hair important? its devastating for other people. Just as something that will have a huge effect on your well being and state of mind will seem like nothing to another person.