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December 29, 2012


Replies: 165

Sorry for prioritizing cancer survival over hairloss! Cancer patients, do not read.

AnnaGiladi Featured By Owner Dec 28, 2012  Professional General Artist
I just got banned somewhere for being "insensitive". While people there get away with the most awful insults ("you have no dignity", "mentally ill", etc.). I had no idea there was a rule for sensitivity. After all, I cannot be expected to respect unwritten and subjective rules. I don't do "unreasonable" when reading and signing Terms of Service and nowhere did it say "Never complain about sick peoples' attitudes".
All I said, and I was right, was that I do not believe chemo patients, people facing cancer and possibly death, should be fussing as much as they do about their stupid HAIR. Excuse me, really? Silence me because I said they should realize that what is temporarily ruining their silly HAIR, is saving their LIFE? Don't you just love it when Americans and their free speech - that was an American website, and no, not about cancer at all - draw a line where you accidentally hurt someone's unreasonable sensitivities? Slander sure, insults sure, hate speech absolutely - "Get your act together" in a "Personal Rants" forum, oh no, that must be silenced. Westboro Baptists, "Thank God for dead fag-ass soldiers"? OHMAGHERD FREEDUMB HURRDURR!

"That was very insensitive so we banned you because we have users undergoing chemo at the moment" - and I could have known that, yes? No, I could not. And regardless, I think it's actually helpful to be reminded that your hair is a lesser concern and that you can relax and just go with your chemo and SURVIVE CANCER. Who is so sick they need chemo, but worry about some dead cells on their heads that will grow back anyway? I'm not the one smacking cancer patients in the face, cancer patiens and their awarenessians who think their hair should be anywhere near the middle or top of their priority list, are!

See, it's just absurd. You SURVIVE cancer, you are NOT going to die, but - you are BALD, how horrible.

And all this crap of "You're still beautiful", well, put your money where your mouth is and don't get a wig, don't get hairloss pity parties. And don't give any of those either. A beautiful person, regardless of gender, needs no hair at all. No hair, and no makeup. Unless you were ugly before you got sick, YOU DO NOT NEED A WIG.
And don't give me the "You wouldn't know" crap, I had my hair falling out to a point where it clogged the toilet and eventually shaved it off entirely until my head could be used as a mirror and I have the video to proove it. I loved my long hair, it meant a lot to me, and it was cute, but not a single tear was shed, not a single frown, because IT'S ONLY HAIR and it'll grow back! If I'd had cancer on top of it, I would have pointed and laughed at the hair on the floor because it wants me to worry about it WHILE I CANNOT BE ARSED BECAUSE I AM FIGHTING CANCER!!!!!! Bigger battles, see?! And except for a bunch of asshole strangers, nobody told me it was ugly, on the contrary, and guess what? I believe those saying it looked/looks good, because IT FUCKING DOES! If your face isn't ugly, your baldie won't make it!

And they act like I made fun of people suffering from cancer, while the opposite was true. Unlike some of them, I was actually the one to see and point out what's important, so they can focus on and rejoyce for that. It just WAS NOT HAIR.

You know what pitty parties and the whole "Aaaw c'mere, you poor thing, let's get that fixed" do? They reinforce the recipient's notion that they are actually in a bad spot, and that there actually is a need to be pitied and feel pathetic. It rubs it in their face that they have a problem (or are imagining one). Pity parties and problem concealers rub your problems in your face with some salt and acid. It's the attitude that makes you pitiful! I pity someone far less when they do not conceal their "flaws" because they appear confident and at peace with their situation. WHO would WANT to feel pathetic on top of being sick? Sure, let's get you a crappy sad attitude so you stay sick longer. It's been evidenced that a positive attitude and confidence will contribute to your recovery from a variety of illnesses. But no, you MUST cry for your HAIR once that TUMOR is fried.

Seriously, I appreicate the hardship of fighting cancer. I respect THAT part of it. I just don't respect horribly ill people for fussing over something so silly compared to what they're hospitalized for. Or maybe that's because I got closer to dying (as in "Charge... CLEAR!") than a lot of those people and my 30 inch hair didn't help much. Priorities. Buy some.

So while I learned not to talk back to admins and mods even when they are blatantly and fundamentally WRONG, it has to be said that those over there, need a lobotomy. With a shotgun.

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Devious Comments

kitsumekat Featured By Owner Jan 11, 2013
People are vain fuckers. "I lost all my hair!" Hello? It grows back. If you're so worried about your hair, stop taking the treatments and give them to someone who rather save their live than worry about how people are going to see them.
sages-sweetblasphemy Featured By Owner Jan 10, 2013  Student Traditional Artist
Yes i agree with hair would probably be the least of my worries...however this is coming from someone who couldn't give two fucks if anyone did not like the way i looked, I don't wear makeup aside if i want to look like a kitty (hence my prof pic)

I also find it interesting of how many hateful comments there are....ignorant small minded people eh?
asiasisia Featured By Owner Jan 6, 2013
Complaining about others whining about their hair loss is somewhat beside the point; that's something that brings them all together in not-so-tragic way, because it's one of the few not-so-harmful effects of chemotheraphy. As another deviant stated below: "If I got sick, I'd be one of those bitching more about my hair than chemo". It's a lot more depressing to talk about your pain and suffering. So if sharing their experiences through discussing how they deal with hair loss gives them joy, why should you have the right to deny them that? It's childish to even think you would. You're not helping anyone with your complaints.
VampireLouislove Featured By Owner Jan 5, 2013  Student Writer
Anna, honey, don't let the dumb asses who are construing what you say get you down.
While I know as a psychology major there's some psychological damage when you start having your hair fall out in clumps in your hands, but that's why people don't let it get patchy and just shave it all.

The act of shaving it is actually supposed to SAVE you the mental trauma of losing all your hair bit by bit. Hence why they have most people shave it before they eve start treatment. The people on here need to understand not only by shaving your head when undergoing chemo, you're not only in a battle with cancer, but saving yourself the mental breakdown of losing all your fucking hair.
AnnaGiladi Featured By Owner Jan 5, 2013  Professional General Artist
Exactly, just shave it to begin with, or put a hat on it. I'm not even religious but I think that even most women look cute with some kind of hat. I'd never deny there are more pleasant things than losing your hair, but it's "managably horrible" since you can trust it's temporary. I had 17 inch hair when I decided I was not going to hope for stupid rosemarin-and-oil goo to cure it of the decade of abuse it's suffered from bleaches and dyes, in addition to my severe malnutrition (gastric bypass, too ADHD to remember taking my supplements). My hair growing back 100x better than it was, was the one thing I could be sure of, so it was one "mutilation" I knew was going to do good. Other problems aren't so easy to cope with and don't solve themselves after a few months, and once that sinks in, your hair becomes a joke. And, I appreciate your objectivity :)
VampireLouislove Featured By Owner Jan 6, 2013  Student Writer
Yeah, I tried to start up an argument with some of these people and they just run you in circles, I saw that you stopped replying after a few of them, and I think that's probably best. Most are a bit unreasonable.
AnnaGiladi Featured By Owner Jan 6, 2013  Professional General Artist
I learned the harsh way - arguing and getting angry until bludgeoned by the banhammer - to just walk away when debate becomes pointless and starts going in circles. When I said everything I had to say and the other person is still going back to what I've just explained, I'm out. This crap doesn't pay my bills, nor does it clean the cat shit boxes. Not that I don't realize the sensitive and scream-fest material nature of some of my posts, it's just that I don't have an obligation to stick around after initial venting. When I was younger and dumber, I thought walking away was always cowardly and to be avoided at all cost, now I think bending over backwards to stand your ground in a fight that isn't worth a glass of stale beer, is just dumb and needlessly painful.
VampireLouislove Featured By Owner Jan 6, 2013  Student Writer
Exactly. Besides, like you said, the whole point was to vent about something, so why stick around cause people have a stick up their ass about it?
witwitch Featured By Owner Jan 2, 2013  Student Writer
I love my hair. I would be terribly sad if it went away, even if that was because of chemo. Not that I would ever choose to get chemo. It only has a 2% success rate.
AnnaGiladi Featured By Owner Jan 2, 2013  Professional General Artist
2%? Holy crap. But let's put it this way, let's say you have cancer, get chemo, are healed, and have only your hair to mourn? It'll grow back and it's just bought you a lifetime of growing your hair back.
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