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December 23, 2012
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Superficial pros

:iconmattyohh:
Mattyohh Featured By Owner Dec 23, 2012
I was talking to my friend last night who was telling about how this girl I had a thing with before was tossing up between me, and this dude she was seeing as well. They did the normal pros and cons.

The top of the list for my pros was 'He has a sleeve'

The best thing about me in this girl's eyes was that I have the entirety of one arm tattooed. HOLY SHIT, I'M PUTTING THAT ON MY RESUME UNDER STRENGTHS. I'M TATTOOED NIGGA, HIRE ME.

A con was i'm too nice. God forbid I have these stupid notions of being nice to people I like, and you know, taking them places, and being a cool person. Another con was i'm too smart and therefore she feels intimidated by me. I'm not actually a bastion of intelligence I know a lot of stupid facts because I stay up all night reading articles on wikipedia.

It just all seems back to front, I thought my cons would be my pros, and vice versa. Apparently not.

Moral of the story, be cunt, always be a cunt, it's what girls want, and get tattoos. Bitches love tattoos.

She chose the other guy, apparently smoking Marijuana and not wanting to date her was actually more impressive than being tattooed.
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Devious Comments

:iconcrimeroyale:
CrimeRoyale Featured By Owner Jan 1, 2013  Professional
Pffft. Women. Amiright?
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:iconytcyberpunk:
YTcyberpunk Featured By Owner Jan 1, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
My first boyfriend dumped me because he was far more attracted to a girl who had used him as a kissing toy between relationships and was now dating a sports jock. I spent a couple years trying to figure out what he saw in that slut. Then he tells me he was a transsexual all along and will get a sex change--but he's still attracted to women (just not me). That's when I cut off contact with him for good. Joke's on you slut, you can have him!
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:iconsvataben:
Svataben Featured By Owner Jan 1, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Aaaaaw, did ittle wittle diddycums have one single bad experience?

That is surely enough to judge all girls on! :eager:
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:iconcrimsonmagpie:
CrimsonMagpie Featured By Owner Dec 24, 2012  Professional Traditional Artist
See, I'd put a tattoo sleeve high on the list of reasons not to want to date someone. That shit looks nasty. :stare:
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:iconsapphire-ashesx:
Sapphire-Ashesx Featured By Owner Dec 24, 2012
Tattoos are ugly.
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:iconnudedoctor:
NudeDoctor Featured By Owner Dec 23, 2012
So, you have a "thing" for this girl, who already has a guy, and only likes you for some superficial reason(s)....
And you're angry with her? :lmao:

Here's a little tip for you, dude. It's not the end of the world if the human females don't return your attraction. She made her choice; she doesn't want you. It's time to pick your feelings up off the floor, and move on with life.

I swear... The females I know tend to whine less about relationships than the males I know. It's getting a bit pathetic, especially with these "Nice Guy" types that have been flooding the internet. :facepalm:
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:iconmisterkhact:
MisterKhact Featured By Owner Dec 23, 2012
Perhaps you should eat meat.

Chicks dig meat-eaters.
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:iconmattyohh:
Mattyohh Featured By Owner Dec 24, 2012
delicious whale meat?
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:iconatlantech:
Atlantech Featured By Owner Dec 23, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
my boyfriend has tattoos and he's also a nice guy, so I see no problem. maybe it's just the types of girls you attract? But this bit of news might make you feel better........ ONE day this girl is going to wake up and leave this asshole. Give it time, but by then you may be with someone even better.
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:iconkorukikonaru:
KorukiKonaru Featured By Owner Dec 23, 2012
If it makes you feel any better, I have no interest in fucking a guy I'd rather punch in the face :meow: I don't understand the fascination women have with aresholes.
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:iconporto881:
Porto881 Featured By Owner Dec 23, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I know it's been said a billion times in like a billion different places, but here it goes. *Ahem*:

GIRLS like assholes, WOMEN like nice guys.

Trust me, I have one of those... you know... vaginas or whatever.

Also, tattoos are indeed pretty sexy. Especially sleeves and chest-pieces.
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:iconredmarlin:
redmarlin Featured By Owner Dec 23, 2012
I'm pretty sure we already know this. Women like bad boys. Projects.
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:iconvi0letdreamer:
vi0letdreamer Featured By Owner Dec 23, 2012  Student Photographer
"Too smart"? Maybe she was just too stupid.
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:iconmattyohh:
Mattyohh Featured By Owner Dec 24, 2012
I'm sure she is.
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:iconthe-uglytruth:
The-UglyTruth Featured By Owner Dec 23, 2012
I feel like no matter what the result of her list the fact that she had such a toss up between you and another dude was probably a good indicator that you probably should look for someone more compatible anyways.

Its funny how people are always leaving behind the comfortable in pursuit of the unattainable. Silly humans.
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:iconneo-kaiser:
Neo-Kaiser Featured By Owner Dec 23, 2012
Go up to her and say, "Hey, did you know that in the 1940s if a cop didn't like what a woman was wearing he could send her off to jail".
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:iconprosaix:
prosaix Featured By Owner Dec 23, 2012
Are you sure that's the kind of sleeve they were talking about? :evileye:
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:iconmattyohh:
Mattyohh Featured By Owner Dec 23, 2012
It could be a record sleeve, I don't have any records. Shirt sleeve maybe, I do own a lot of shirts...
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:iconjuliabohemian:
Juliabohemian Featured By Owner Dec 23, 2012
Chicks love guys who don't want to date them.
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:icondeviant-garde:
deviant-garde Featured By Owner Dec 24, 2012
Last month this woman was going to ridiculous lengths saying shit to and about me because I had turned her down. The suggestion to go fuck in the library before our next class stunned me the most.
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:iconrandomrobskii:
RandomRobskii Featured By Owner Dec 24, 2012  Student Filmographer
...... That shit cray.
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:icondeviant-garde:
deviant-garde Featured By Owner Dec 24, 2012
I'm sorry, did I say a 3 year old kid? I meant an 11 year old kid. How could I be so silly?
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:icondeviant-garde:
deviant-garde Featured By Owner Dec 24, 2012
You have no idea how many hours I detailed the quite lengthy, and according to how amused and captivated everyone seemed to be everyone I told it, humorous and entertaining story I cramped my hand over several times typing with detailed narration. It was pure insanity. Due to dumb shit that happened to me in the past I kept going between being surprised at the things that were even happening and being said and finding it impossible to believe. Only at the point which I knew I'd never see her again did I realize she wasn't lying to me about the way she felt about me and I somewhat regretted it. Only so much, since she was 12 years older than me and had a 3 year old kid and said she "just wanted sex", but the idea of realizing that I acutally passed up on being a milf's fuckbuddy was somewhat disappointing to fully realize.

Bitch must have been crazy or something though. I bet I dodged a bullet while she dodged my thick, ropey load between two quiet bookshelves.
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:iconrandomrobskii:
RandomRobskii Featured By Owner Dec 24, 2012  Student Filmographer
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:icondeviant-garde:
deviant-garde Featured By Owner Dec 24, 2012
Oh I can't help but to think so.
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:iconjuliabohemian:
Juliabohemian Featured By Owner Dec 24, 2012
The library does have a certain eroticism to it.
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:iconmattyohh:
Mattyohh Featured By Owner Dec 23, 2012
WHY
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:iconredmarlin:
redmarlin Featured By Owner Dec 23, 2012
It's a challenge.
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:iconjuliabohemian:
Juliabohemian Featured By Owner Dec 23, 2012
I think they see it as a challenge. Or they have low self esteem. One of those.

I have noticed that a girl can have a decent guy interested in her. But the one she wants is the asshole who treats her like crap and doesn’t return her calls.
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:iconmattyohh:
Mattyohh Featured By Owner Dec 24, 2012
You're all crazy.
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:iconjuliabohemian:
Juliabohemian Featured By Owner Dec 24, 2012
I don't group myself in with women in general. For one thing, I don't believe in subtext.

Women expect men to guess what they are thinking and then award them merit based on the degree of their accuracy, because they believe it's a reasonable measure of the man's affections. This is a misnomer. Men have no idea what women are thinking. Expecting them to is a lesson in futility.
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:icondeviant-garde:
deviant-garde Featured By Owner Dec 24, 2012
That is some righteous truth you preach. You must be a prolific social worker or something.
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:iconjuliabohemian:
Juliabohemian Featured By Owner Dec 24, 2012
No, I just have years of experience observing people. Although I am a fan of behavioral sciences. I work with patients who are mentally ill and developmentally disabled, which doesn’t lend much to this. I have just watched a lot of women play games with men and it’s baffling. I can’t stand people who don’t just say what they mean and mean what they say. The chances of them getting what they want if they simply do that, are far greater.
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:iconprosaix:
prosaix Featured By Owner Dec 24, 2012
:lol:
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:icondeviant-garde:
deviant-garde Featured By Owner Dec 24, 2012
IT'S FUNNY BECAUSE IT'S TRUE
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:iconlimitless--wings:
limitless--wings Featured By Owner Dec 23, 2012  Student Artist
I... what is this monstrosity?
I mean sure I like tattoo's, but seriously? you'd pick a intelligent guy over a dude that's probably going to OD himself? REAL smart.
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:iconthe-uglytruth:
The-UglyTruth Featured By Owner Dec 23, 2012
I think a person overdosing on weed would make international news, considering that its theoretically impossible.
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:iconlimitless--wings:
limitless--wings Featured By Owner Dec 24, 2012  Student Artist
I don't know anything about this weed thing stuff, so pardon my mistake. As stated to the other person.
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:iconieighton:
Ieighton Featured By Owner Dec 23, 2012  Hobbyist Photographer
OD on weed?

nopely dopely
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:iconlimitless--wings:
limitless--wings Featured By Owner Dec 23, 2012  Student Artist
lol, sorry don't have any knowledge with this stuff.
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:iconmattyohh:
Mattyohh Featured By Owner Dec 23, 2012
It's all a part of life's rich tapestry
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:iconrandomrobskii:
RandomRobskii Featured By Owner Dec 23, 2012  Student Filmographer
Wow. Dodged a bullet, much?
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:iconmattyohh:
Mattyohh Featured By Owner Dec 23, 2012
Dodged an artillery shell more like it.
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:iconrandomrobskii:
RandomRobskii Featured By Owner Dec 23, 2012  Student Filmographer
Dodged a whole rocket. :nod:
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:iconthe-uglytruth:
The-UglyTruth Featured By Owner Dec 23, 2012
If this was the movie Armaggedon (fuck spelling), he would be Bruce Willis.
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:iconrandomrobskii:
RandomRobskii Featured By Owner Dec 24, 2012  Student Filmographer
If this was the Titanic, he'd have dodged the iceberg.
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:iconhametsunocharge:
HametsuNoCharge Featured By Owner Dec 23, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
......are sure she knows the definitions of "pro" and "con"
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:iconmattyohh:
Mattyohh Featured By Owner Dec 23, 2012
I hope not. It would make me feel better at least
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:iconhametsunocharge:
HametsuNoCharge Featured By Owner Dec 23, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
lol it's ok, we will all run into one abysmally stupid person at some in time.
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:iconmattyohh:
Mattyohh Featured By Owner Dec 23, 2012
At least it was early enough in life not to do any permanent damage.
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