If you can't tell I am lonely but affable I swear.

~TheNAUGHTicalLife Dec 11, 2012 Professional Writer

Mediocre-looking women who spend most of their time on the internet that I would have a good chance with are dwindling and I can no longer depend on finding a cool girl who is a loner and appreciator of books and movies and maybe some politics? as me. Where did they go? Why do they have boyfriends? I'm a good guy! What the donk?!

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~TheNAUGHTicalLife Dec 12, 2012 Professional Writer

Haha what a pathetic asshole! He's talking about being a nice guy? Being nice is totally a crap thing. Nice people are terrible.

I FEEL COMPELLED TO INSIST THIS IS A REAL POST! How could I gauge my self-worth otherwise?

If there are any women who posted on here, I bet they stuck it to this 'nice guy!' (Remember ladies, dry sarcasm is THE MOST EFFECTIVE WAY TO BE HUMOROUS. No contest.)

Joseph Cornell as an Avatar? This guy must be an idiot, too.