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December 11, 2012
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Replies: 73

If you can't tell I am lonely but affable I swear.

:iconthenaughticallife:
TheNAUGHTicalLife Featured By Owner Dec 11, 2012  Professional Writer
Mediocre-looking women who spend most of their time on the internet that I would have a good chance with are dwindling and I can no longer depend on finding a cool girl who is a loner and appreciator of books and movies and maybe some politics? as me. Where did they go? Why do they have boyfriends? I'm a good guy! What the donk?!
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Devious Comments

:iconthenaughticallife:
TheNAUGHTicalLife Featured By Owner Dec 12, 2012  Professional Writer
Haha what a pathetic asshole! He's talking about being a nice guy? Being nice is totally a crap thing. Nice people are terrible.

I FEEL COMPELLED TO INSIST THIS IS A REAL POST! How could I gauge my self-worth otherwise?

If there are any women who posted on here, I bet they stuck it to this 'nice guy!' (Remember ladies, dry sarcasm is THE MOST EFFECTIVE WAY TO BE HUMOROUS. No contest.)

Joseph Cornell as an Avatar? This guy must be an idiot, too.
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:iconmasterplanner:
MasterPlanner Featured By Owner Dec 11, 2012  Professional Artisan Crafter
Yeah, trolls aren't known for being surrounded by willing women :icontryharderplz:
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:iconsapphire-ashesx:
Sapphire-Ashesx Featured By Owner Dec 11, 2012
Maybe they got lives..
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:iconbabushka-nipples:
Babushka-Nipples Featured By Owner Dec 11, 2012
Yeah women like being called mediocre in terms of appearance.
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:icontuco-sonofathousand:
Tuco-SonOfAThousand Featured By Owner Dec 11, 2012
They have all been snapped up by Tuco.
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:icondj0hybrid:
DJ0Hybrid Featured By Owner Dec 11, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
...Don't know if I'm looking at a loser or a decent troll.

I think I'm looking at a decent troll here.

New Member

Well dang.
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:iconthenaughticallife:
TheNAUGHTicalLife Featured By Owner Dec 11, 2012  Professional Writer
:D I was a member some years back so that's somewhat misleading.

But :D anyway.
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:icondj0hybrid:
DJ0Hybrid Featured By Owner Dec 11, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
But usually someone trolling is a new account while someone who is serious is not. But still.
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:iconthenaughticallife:
TheNAUGHTicalLife Featured By Owner Dec 11, 2012  Professional Writer
I really didn't mean to illicit the reaction I did. I assumed people would get that it was a goof.
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:iconedarlin:
edarlin Featured By Owner Dec 11, 2012
:iconhellothereplz:
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:iconvindicates:
Vindicates Featured By Owner Dec 11, 2012
nice guys are the worst thing that ever happened to society
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:iconthenaughticallife:
TheNAUGHTicalLife Featured By Owner Dec 11, 2012  Professional Writer
I'm positive Nancy Grace is still #1 on that list.
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:icondoctorowl:
DoctorOWL Featured By Owner Dec 11, 2012
THIS. LOL
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:iconnudedoctor:
NudeDoctor Featured By Owner Dec 11, 2012
As much as I hate the douchebag crowd, the "internet nice guys" are quickly making themselves just as irritating.
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:iconthenaughticallife:
TheNAUGHTicalLife Featured By Owner Dec 11, 2012  Professional Writer
I didn't know the 'internet nice guy' was a thing until I posted this, but I was reminded fairly quickly of the 'douchebag crowd' I had forgotten live in every forum community.

Thank you for your indiscriminate hatred, though. :)
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:iconnudedoctor:
NudeDoctor Featured By Owner Dec 11, 2012
Wow. This thread is actually pretty nice right now, considering the topic. A lot us us are more focused on those idiot "nice guys" in general.

I have to say though, for a professional writer, your satire could use a bit of work.
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:iconthenaughticallife:
TheNAUGHTicalLife Featured By Owner Dec 11, 2012  Professional Writer
Yikes.
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:iconnudedoctor:
NudeDoctor Featured By Owner Dec 11, 2012
It would have been much better, had you not later insisted (multiple times) that it was a parody. You could have practically role-played a "nice guy" through the entire thread, and everyone would have gotten to play along, instead of having to see claims that you're not serious.
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:iconthenaughticallife:
TheNAUGHTicalLife Featured By Owner Dec 11, 2012  Professional Writer
Oh you're talking about THAT. Then I do agree. I had a crisis of how it would affect the perception of my work and decided to backtrack.
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:iconensoul:
ensoul Featured By Owner Dec 11, 2012  Professional General Artist
You didn't say it in a funny way :icontheresyourproblemplz:
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:iconthenaughticallife:
TheNAUGHTicalLife Featured By Owner Dec 11, 2012  Professional Writer
I'm waiting for the day they build inflection buttons into keyboards.
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:iconpinkmitten:
Pinkmitten Featured By Owner Dec 11, 2012
say meow
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:iconthenaughticallife:
TheNAUGHTicalLife Featured By Owner Dec 11, 2012  Professional Writer
Is that the new pickup line these days?
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:iconpinkmitten:
Pinkmitten Featured By Owner Dec 11, 2012
i said say meow
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:iconthenaughticallife:
TheNAUGHTicalLife Featured By Owner Dec 11, 2012  Professional Writer
No, thanks.
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:iconpinkmitten:
Pinkmitten Featured By Owner Dec 11, 2012
fucking bitch
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:iconthenaughticallife:
TheNAUGHTicalLife Featured By Owner Dec 11, 2012  Professional Writer
:)
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:iconpinkmitten:
Pinkmitten Featured By Owner Dec 11, 2012
:)
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:iconshininginthedarkness:
So you want a woman who has low self-esteem, with the exact same boring-ass hobbies as you to settle for you?
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:iconthenaughticallife:
TheNAUGHTicalLife Featured By Owner Dec 11, 2012  Professional Writer
Yes, that was a good bit of the subtext. Overt desperation with underlying ostentation and misogyny. A dense satire of the fragile male ego.

But finding a brooding, boring-ass lady would be alright with me.
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:iconshininginthedarkness:
Right, now it's a satire :lol:
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:iconsolaces:
Solaces Featured By Owner Dec 11, 2012
Congratulations, you sound like an entitled dick.:yawn:
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:iconthenaughticallife:
TheNAUGHTicalLife Featured By Owner Dec 11, 2012  Professional Writer
That was the point.
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:iconsolaces:
Solaces Featured By Owner Dec 11, 2012
:icongoldstarplz:
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:iconthenaughticallife:
TheNAUGHTicalLife Featured By Owner Dec 11, 2012  Professional Writer
Yay!
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:iconk-koji:
K-Koji Featured By Owner Dec 11, 2012
How dare a "mediocre-looking woman" have a boyfriend! If they aren't absolutely perfect looking, they deserve to stay single and alone so when "nice guys" get tired of failing to pick up women out of their league, they have a foolproof Plan B to fall back on :3.

I'm sure they love being called "mediocre".
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:iconthenaughticallife:
TheNAUGHTicalLife Featured By Owner Dec 11, 2012  Professional Writer
Right?!
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:iconsolaces:
Solaces Featured By Owner Dec 11, 2012
:thumbsup:
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:iconcatapultedcarcass:
CatapultedCarcass Featured By Owner Dec 11, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
You reek of desperation, that's so unattractive to women.
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:icondj0hybrid:
DJ0Hybrid Featured By Owner Dec 11, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
You reek of desperation, that's so unattractive to *everyone.

Fixed.
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:iconcatapultedcarcass:
CatapultedCarcass Featured By Owner Dec 12, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
I missed the part where he asserted that he was trying to attract men...
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:iconthenaughticallife:
TheNAUGHTicalLife Featured By Owner Dec 11, 2012  Professional Writer
Yup, I have definitely opened the floodgates to people who think this complaint is genuine. Thanks for the insight.
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:iconcatapultedcarcass:
CatapultedCarcass Featured By Owner Dec 11, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Hahaha! Whatever! :lol:

"I am a man and a something of your choosing"

Keep trying buddy, you'll find someone in the end just as desperate as you ;)
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:iconthenaughticallife:
TheNAUGHTicalLife Featured By Owner Dec 11, 2012  Professional Writer
How is my bio line pertinent to my supposed desperation? And what was the purpose of a follow-up response?

The word 'projecting' is beginning to float around in my head.
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:iconcatapultedcarcass:
CatapultedCarcass Featured By Owner Dec 11, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
"I'll be whatever you want me to be, please, just love me!" :crying:
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:iconthenaughticallife:
TheNAUGHTicalLife Featured By Owner Dec 11, 2012  Professional Writer
That's a unique take on it. Not what I was going for, but if you like your sentences malleable then alright.
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:iconcatapultedcarcass:
CatapultedCarcass Featured By Owner Dec 11, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
You can't help what impression you give people.

Well, actually, you can, but hey.
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:iconthenaughticallife:
TheNAUGHTicalLife Featured By Owner Dec 11, 2012  Professional Writer
You fished my bio for an impression based off a hyperbolic depiction of passive misogyny. If you think this is genuine then I can't stop you but you have to move on regardless.
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(1 Reply)
:iconpink-anthony:
pink-anthony Featured By Owner Dec 11, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Do you try and talk to women and get to know them though?

And if you have, but they haven'y shown interest, maybe they don't want to be with anyone, maybe they're gay, or maybe they just aren't interested in you.

Being a good guy doesn't necessarily give you a right to get any "mediocre looking girl" that you want, and women aren't just there to be optional girlfriends for you.

Also, you should try and just get to know people, rather than have a set list of "traits that a girl has to have or else I won't have any interest in her" and thus ignoring women that could potentially be just right for you, but you won't give them a chance. And if you go into every conversation with a girl with a "be my girlfriend" vibe, then they will smell the desperation and run a mile.
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:iconthenaughticallife:
TheNAUGHTicalLife Featured By Owner Dec 11, 2012  Professional Writer
I think this semi-serious thought is going to open the floodgates to things like this. I think it's intriguing that people would think this is a genuine complaint.

The idea I had was something to the affect of 'I wish there were more desperate women on the internet.' I thought it was amusing and ridiculous so I puffed it up, made it sound slightly misogynistic and desperate, and put it on here.
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