you'd be surprised. Some of my family works in the medical field, and the vast majority of people calling for an ambulance don't even need it. They just need to go to a doctor since they have a "sore finger" (true story btw)
My advice is to walk to the nearest hill, lighten a candle and chant ILOVETWILIGHT 136 times before you sacrifice a chicken to the coffee god and apologize for your sins. Rub your body with hamster poo and stingign nettles. If this doesn't work, cut of your arm. Works like a charm every time :
I think those are fake. But that is a good reason to wear underwear so it doesn't hang out to get zipped. The girl must have been using a straight razor drunk as your clitoris is sheathed so that would be hard to do.