I have no idea what it's like to be disabled, but as someone who is able-bodied, I find it a bit hard to know what's appropriate and what's not, or what comes across as offensive and what doesn't.
Example, in Uni the other day, there was a guy in a wheelchair who was waiting in a hallway. The doors also have a card-lock on them and need to be pulled to open. I asked him if he needed any help, meaning a card for the entry, or for the door to be held open so he could get through. As it turns out, he was just waiting for someone, but had I not been so lucky, I could've been chewed out for trying to lend a hand as a "YOU THINK I CAN'T DO IT MYSELF? GODDDDD."
I dunno. It feels like treading on eggshells, I don't know how a person will react, whether they'll respond nicely whether they need assistance or not, or whether they think I'm being patronising, or whatever the word I'm looking for is.
You have my sympathies over the hypermobility. After a crap lot of work, and being told I was everything from "just fat so get over it" to "You might have arthritis", they finally worked out that is what I have. 6 months later, while it never will be gone, it was much better. But if you are worried about the diagnosis speak to your doctor or another one, if you can afford it. Good luck.
I have mild autism. I took the short buss to school in middle school, and people called me retarded.
I was smarter then all of them. Plus, i got to play video games, earn prizes, and watch movies in my class. We used the same books as them, and learned the same things as them. Our class was just smaller so the two teachers could help us more effectively.
Augh! I was waiting for my godson outside of school when the short bus pulled over to pick up its kids. Some little brats started making snide remarks about the "retard" bus. I was so mad, especially because I had just been thinking how easily my godson could be one of those kids in the bus (he's also mildly autistic, but we're trying to keep him in the regular classes.)
I would have said something, but that's when he decided to show up, and I just took him home
My highschool was all about accepting diversity, but that's really a front they use. As far as I know, they don't give two shits about people with unseen disorders. When they act like they care, they give the kid some backhanded help and overreact because they're trying hard not to make people suspicious.
If you have depression, some staff members will tell you to "just get over it, you can control your feelings. Stop being lazy and get back to work!" or "There's really nothing to be anxious about!" even when there are some mean people who happen to be almost everywhere you go.
I'm seriously pissed with these people after the way they treated an autistic kid as if he was a misbehaved brat. He takes his time to think, and really hated being told to hurry up. When his parents confronted the situation, the "helper" said "oh, he was doing the talking and got his way" when it was really the other way around. The woman wouldn't let the kid speak and brushed off his polite pleas to stop annoying him and let him concentrate.
All I can say is that I'm really glad I'm no longer a student of that school. Sorry for the rant, I'm just giving my two cents and agreeing with you.
i'll treat you like any other person, disability or no. if you're an asshole, then i treat you as one. don't use your shortcomings as a crutch. just because you think that washing dishes is an amazing feat doesn't make it so. don't expect other people to care.
There's an "uncanny valley" with disabilities and injuries. Someone doesn't have an arm or a leg? Awww poor guy. Let's help. Clearly you should not be cracking jokes because this guy has no fucking legs, dammit. That guy gets beaten up, and the people who do it are lucky if they're not on the bus to military school or Juvenile Hall by the end of the day.
Someone with an "unseen disorder"? Oh they're just faking it. Stop whining ya brat. How come I don't get to go into another room to take my tests? You're just making it up to get attention you little brat. I bet you anything you're just faking it so you get pills and you pop 'em all at once to get high. We're encouraging others to beat you up by not lifting a finger to help when you're stuffed head-first into a trashcan, and then accusing you of making it up to get attention when you come tell on them covered in garbage.
At my school there is quite a few kids with dyslexia, so they get to write tests on the computer, and they get to use the computers spell check. Of course, a lot of the other kids complain loudly, accusing them of faking it to get better grades, and so on.
Next time they do that I'll hit them in the head with the math book.
YTcyberpunkFeatured By OwnerDec 9, 2012Hobbyist Traditional Artist
I feel for you dude.
I am not disabled, BUT, I am less able than the average person, in that I am quite stupid. I have managed to get a minimum-wage job that I like, but I feel like no matter how much I work (often 6 or sometimes 7 days a week) it's never enough for some people. "Well I have to work TWO jobs to pay the bills and only get 4 hours of sleep each night!" "Well I have a kid and an evil baby-daddy so I never get a break!" "Well I sacrificed my youth to serving the country in the army, and then worked 7 days a week!"
Basically, what's moving mountains for you will seem like child's play to other people, and, rudely, they will say so. Dick holes.
A lot of people are so ignorant about disabilities. One thing I hear a lot of people do is talk about how everyone just "dealt with it" in the "good old days." And every time I hear this I think, "Um, no, they didn't just deal with it. They just died. And you and me might've died too, just from a fever or stepping on a rake." I figure, if I'm allowed to take pills for my flues and colds instead of dying every winter, then a disabled person is allowed to get around with some meds and designated parking spots.
Sorry if I seem forward, but you don't sound stupid at all. People look at someone getting out of a car with a disabled placard on the mirror and say, you don't look disabled to me. But not all disabilities show.
YTcyberpunkFeatured By OwnerDec 12, 2012Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Thank you! I supposed "stupid" could be a relative term. My parents and sisters are all above average in intelligence; I don't think it's a coincidence that I felt smarter when I was in college, living far, far away from them.
98% of people have absolutely no empathy period. They may claim to have empathy but they don't. Really? If you have empathy, you don't try to take their accomplishments away from them and try to say "You don't have it worse - I do!"
Sometimes it is necessary in a complaint. Sometimes it's not and people are so obviously fishing for asspats. I have to wonder if those people bring up their CONDITIONS during every conversation they have. I know some people who do.
Yeah. Drives me crazy that they treat me like crap or like I'm drunk cause sometimes I can't keep my balance like I should--I hope that when disability kicks me off it that I can either afford my medicines (the majority of them I know I could) or that the one I won't be able to afford will have an assistance program.
In fact I really hope it does. @o; It costs 40,000 a year and if I don't take it I can't walk.
[link] I looked it up real quick. And yay, it does have a payment program. @@
That one's from 2010 though. Will this site count? [link] A little from the top, you'll find this:
"An article posted yesterday by Bloomberg, the financial news service, tells us that the “economic impact” of MS just got dearer for those expecting to switch to the oral med:
A wholesale price of $48,000 annually.
Just for reference, our currently available first line drugs are wholesale priced between around $33,600-$38,400, according to sources quoted in the article.
A Novartis company spokesperson is quoted as saying, “Gilenya pricing is based on the value it will deliver patients, the scientific innovation it represents and our investment in studies to support the product.”
I’m noting that the term “convenience factor” is no longer being bantered around; “value it will deliver patients” must have sounded less offensive to some focus group…"
It's worse for other versions of MS. I'd also hate to know the prices for anything else that someone has to deal with long term. It's like they find something that people need and they price it ridiculously high--what's the good of something if very few can afford it?
Pretty good, actually. At least in my experience. When I was taking Copaxone, one of the shots, I still had to go to the hospital cause my MS still flared twice a year. With the Gilenya, that's cut by one and I'm able to manage a bit more than I could previously.
I may be getting this wrong... but you have an unseen disability, correct? That makes certain tasks more difficult for you than it would be for other people. For those tasks, theoretically you have to work 'harder' than your co-workers to achieve the same result. What I don't understand is if you think that you should be treated with more respect than them or if you just want to be held on the same level as them.
I understand that your personal victories are something that you feel proud of, but what are they to anyone else? Do you expect everyone to congratulate you on it?
As a side note, I googled hypermobility and researched it a little. If what I read is true, I have hypermobility in the joints of my hands. Who would've though.
It puts a lot of pressure on people. I don't think it's such a terrible thing to react emotionally to hardship, or to want help and support from others. Valuing stoicism just separates people and makes it harder to form close bonds.
Unfortunately, the thing with "unseen disorders" is that even people on the internet don't exactly understand them. As I mentioned, it's an "uncanny valley". This person looks normal but is disabled...my god they're probably just faking it.