I'm not surprised to see this from someone of our pittyful generation. The kids these days are stupid and ignorant than ever. If she thinks she can say anything she wants without thinking about the consequences of it actually hurting someone, then I can perfectly say this: She's a dumb cunt.
Also, ever lurk the Misc. on Bodybuilding.com's forums. Every time those guys post anything, I just wanted to headdesk. Seriously:
"SO LULZ GUYS I JUST HOOKED UP WITH THIS 2/10 FAT CHICK FOR THE LULZ! HAHAHAHAHA SO ANYWAY, SHOULD I GO OUT WITH THIS 6/10 CHICK WITH BIG TITS OR THIS 9/10 WHO'S A BITCH BUT IS SOOOO HOT? LOL!"
Apparently to them, a US size 8 is pushing fat, big tits on a fat chick don't count (but of course, fake ones on a hawt skinny chick do!), and anyone who doesn't agree with their standards is 1. a whiteknight or 2. FAGGOT LULZ
It's like, seriously, I get it, your bodybuilders, you have standards, you want a fit girl with similar interests as you. There's nothing wrong with that. But when you have to resort to being a dick to any female that you don't want to fuck, it gets just slightly irritating.
...ah, who am I kidding? 95% of these douches would probably never put on that tough guy on the internet persona once they get offline. They probably couldn't even call a fat chick a fattie to her face, the way they act like they do.
I see that whole /10 rating system all over the internet, and it makes me feel sick.
I know a guy who uses it when he talks about girls he likes, even when I am in the room. Like, "Oh she was a 7/10 but her personality is so great I could bump it up to 8/10, and she has the perfect ass."
He's never described anyone below a "7/10" with it, though. I think maybe he thinks he's using it as a compliment? As another way of saying "I met a pretty girl"?
I can kind of get how guys might use it as a compliment to a woman ("Wow, you're a 10/10, the full package!"), but it's pretty obnoxious when you have to use numbers to validate why you should or shouldn't like somebody. You know what it reminds me of? The Pount Chat on Neopets when they're trading their precious unconverted pixels.
Yes, I just compared a bunch of dicks to people on Neopets.
It's amazing how many offensive posts people toss onto Facebook, in part because they figure they are right, or nobody will care. Insulting people online is still insulting people. I think you did a fairly decent job of remaining logical at first, but after they display a certain amount of stupidity and you realize they are an asshole, it's about time to give up. By the time you are ready to resort to cursing, it's not worth lowering yourself.
What a dumb shit. I'm ugly and I'm proud. Fuck that girl. "I've had problems, so I get to call people ugly! I should dish out what I dealt with all my life!" Whose fucking logic is that. "I almost died on e" THEN MAYBE YOU SHOULD NOT HAVE TAKEN E
Yeah, this kind of does strike a nerve with me. I've never been the hottest chick in the world. Honestly, when I first started losing weight, I was terrified of my breasts going anywhere because I firmly believed they were my only passable feature. I've begun to accept that I'd much rather feel generally healthy and happy than be upset with my weight, but still...it's pretty cruel. People in high school are cruel.
I just don't understand how people can be so cruel to others. Don't they realize what they're doing?
A lot of people are saying that self esteem comes from slapping insults in the face, and just continuing to be awesome. I can agree with this. At a certain point, though, things change. It's one thing if you get the odd insult here or there, say, during an argument. But when it is something you face as a regular part of your schedule, things are different. It can feel like if you try to fight it, you are lying to yourself or denying a fact of life that is accepted by everyone else around you. Especially if you see the people who are trying to be self confident regardless of being told they are fat or ugly, and they get made fun of even more for it. Not that they should stop being self confident, but it can look discouraging to someone who only wants to be left alone.
The worst part is how widespread looking down on others for their looks is in our culture. If you make a fat joke or an ugly joke almost no one will think you a worse person for it.
Am I the only one who feels maybe this is being overly nit-picky. I mean, first of all, this is a teenager with teenage friends. While it WAS lacking in thought, so are a lot of things one does as an adolescent. Second, I honestly think the quicker people learn to grow a thick skin the better. Confidence comes from facing the sludge of society as you are, and developing a belief in yourself that doesn't have to depend entirely on arbitrary opinion. Not saying one should be arrogant of course, but some lessons are best learned bluntly.
Because it is lacking in thought, I thought I would explain to her how the way she was behaving was hurtful.
And you're right, confidence comes from facing adversity. However, when it gets to the point that the whole of society is sending a message that it is acceptable to look down on others based on appearance, it's "not a big deal" and we shouldn't do anything about it, it can convince people that they are worthless due to their appearance. It sends the message that it is OK for others to treat you like shit because you aren't considered attractive by most people.
Perhaps, and it's true that that is an unfortunate mind set that sadly, may never be completely stamped out.
One should learn to accept the fact that people are mean, and then overcome whatever misconceptions those people have of them by their own efforts. The world is always going to find something to hold against you is what I'm getting at. One should learn to live and laugh back in it's face.
I used to feel the same way, back when I was a chubby thirteen year old whom everyone tormented for being a lardass and I eventually went anorexic for a few months over it. Then one day I realised that self esteem is a liability and I quit caring about what people think of me and a massive weight lifted from my soul. I've accepted that I'm of average looks, intelligence, wit etc. and I'm comfortable with that, even if I see people who did "win the genetic lottery" get more things just handed them. Oh well... I'm not bothered. I don't get butthurt or start white-knighting on Facebook pages. I have more important things to do with my time than try to humour them (like trying to humour myself).
That's fine. And it is good that you went on your journey, because it ended with a better outlook on life for you.
I think standing up to a bully can maybe help someone else who is feeling down see that they don't have to take their shit, either. I did it because I felt that if I was one of that girl's stupid teenage friends, I'd be very hurt by her comment--but if someone had stood up to her, I'd feel better. It would've made me see that I could stand up to bullies, too. So I thought maybe someone else reading it would appreciate it.
I've decided I'm not going to let people around me think it is normal and acceptable to judge others on appearance. I'm going to speak up about it. It's something I feel passionately about.
I was confused as to why you were this offended, until I read this comment: [link] The way her statement was implied, is that she was annoyed with slutty behavior and attached some presumably witty insult to it to express her dislike. It's not the sort of thing to be taken apart and observed as a factual literal statement. If we were to, we'd notice people that have a cleavage don't necessarily have something they feel the need to make up for, their cleavage can be owed to personal preference in clothing as opposed to wanting that sort of attention, and when it comes to men that would only need your body to be lured, they really don't need a particularly pretty face to be attracted.
Intentionally displaying your goods to get attention is a bad attempt at being defined as pretty (when it's ostentatious at least), because you're going much further than just that, in a way that makes you a person that seemingly can't offer something else to be appreciated for. (mind) That's because the sort of people you're catering to through that, won't care for anything else about you, and you being fine with that because you're accepted as attractive makes your own mentality fitting to those you're catering to.
Just because someone enjoys feeling sexy doesn't mean they do not have a mind or that they are looking for straight sex, it just means showing cleavage makes them feel sexy and they like feeling that way.
Making women feel like wearing what makes them feel good is somehow wrong is misogynist.
I forgot one bit..... as if the post wasn't long enough already... As her statement was hardly meant to be taken literally, I was reminded of how you offended Vibeke with you generalizing a whole lot of insults for a category of writers quite casually. In the same way, that girl doesn't have to cater to your own sensibilities, even if it'd show more consideration towards you, the majority don't take her statement as matter of fact or 100% serious.
Despite you speaking of the subject, I feel like asking, what does that have to do with anything? As the manner you're replying seems to ignore things said, namely that I made the difference between the ostentatious way of doing it, and personal preference versus attention seeking.
I'll elaborate then, the same way wearing diamond earrings or a gold necklace doesn't make you an attention whore, the same way wearing sexy clothing doesn't make you one, even if it's even meant to draw attention. I'm speaking of the sort of outfits that make even straight females stare, those are quite purposely meant a certain way without much doubt.
And if it were about decorum, they'd acknowledge showing skin isn't even required to show you're shapely, and wearing the appropriate clothes to show them off enhances your look better than just going for anything that merely shows as much skin as possible. Clothes are meant to add interest, not cover everything of interest, so the argument that less clothing is sexy is null, it's about how you apply it. That means that when someone is keen on showing skin to be sexy, they do in fact explicitly state they're available that way, and therefore don't look to make themselves look interesting, but draw interest via the possibilities presented. Think of it this way, guys don't wear pants with a v dip in front or back.... and if they would, it wouldn't even be deemed tasteful like female tops are usually. It may not be an accurate comparison, but it can help put things into perspective.
In many cases, clothing is worn based on reactions of others, in that case, it makes sense that as in all of your endeavors, that others will judge your personality based on what you enjoy. It's not about an objective point of view on what's wrong or right always, it's about how others have reason to think they would or wouldn't want to associate with you based on it. Which is their personal choice, and you shouldn't be asking them not to make judgements, but giving arguments as to why it's not a bad thing, or even a good one. Because asking someone not to judge badly without any argument is like asking someone not to think, and accept what you say for granted.
Being selfish in your choice of wear and how you present yourself overall, will send the message that you don't care what others think, and they will obviously react negatively to the message. The same way going out without brushing your hair, wearing a clown suit to work and putting on underwear on top of your pants is sloppy/outrageous, the same way lesser so called breaches of others wishes will bring some negative attention on you. It doesn't even matter if some are ok with it, or the majority, some might have a problem with it, and seeing as they have to deal with seeing you, it is indeed within their right to be annoyed. What matters is how far they take it depending on circumstances.
I do believe that wearing underwear on top of a clown suit doesn't do anything but make you an eyesore for some, without influencing your job performance or the way you initiate your interactions with people. Yet despite the lack of any real reason to dislike you for it, if you'd go like that at work or on the street, you will certainly be put down for giving off the impression that you're not serious about your job by going so far. And some will give the underwear you're wearing on top sexual connotations whether you're covered completely in the suit or not. You don't work against the community, you work with, you ignoring the perception you may give wearing something isn't going to make it any less real.
Yeah, the same way that saying insulting someone will encourage a negative reply means a killing is in order....
If you're actually asking me no, it doesn't matter if someone even goes stark naked, being vulnerable or bringing attention to yourself doesn't mean people aren't to be held responsible for their own actions regardless of what they deem to encourage their mentality. I just find it distasteful when people look real available, not actually consider traumatizing them is somehow warranted. And I'm not going to be less critical when I'm not rude to actually talk to a person individually and criticize their choice of wear unasked, nor will I accept to have words put in my mouth and relent my personal opinion in the process. It's just my usual blunt thoughts after observations, I'm not so malicious so as to excuse criminal behavior on account of me disapproving something.
That assumption is a logical fallacy in itself though, it's not rape if you actually want it. If you're looking for someone, dressed however you may be, you would obviously still be judging someone before accepting them, and you still need as much consideration as usual to actually enjoy intercourse. (rape isn't just forcing yourself on someone, but physically hurting them) So I believe that supposed argument is given too much weight. It's essentially claiming someone looking for sex (in that interpretation of the choice in clothing) would want to be hurt and traumatized. It doesn't really make enough sense to consider people who dislike skimpy clothing would imply that usually.
(rape isn't just forcing yourself on someone, but physically hurting them) What?! No. Not at all. Rape is any time consent wasn't given. A lot of people walk around with this fallacy that if she doesn't kick, scratch, bite, then what they did is okay. and for godsake, it's not. at all. I really don't understand how you can think it's not rape.
There are many cases that easily within rape that have no violence.
Classic examples of rape which can have no physical violence:
Slip a roofie in her drink, she passes out.
A girl is really, really drunk. The guy asks her for sex, she says no, repeatably. He goes on anyway, probably saying something like 'You're going to give me blue balls!' or 'Come on, you led me on... You owe me.' She tries to stop it, but she's too drunk too, so she starts crying. He then tells her 'Why are you crying? I'm being gentle! It's not like I'm raping you!'
Actually, those two things are some of the most common forms of rape. It's very common misconception, but rape is is any form of sex without consent.
I hate that phrase so much. Basically I hate anything that implies that having one really nice physical feature and not another lessens your worth. Real women have curves, fat women with big tits are still fat, what's the point of being skinny if you don't have tits and ass. All that shit. Fuck them.
I reserve the word ugly to describe people's personalities. You can't totally help what you look like, buy you don't have to be a shitty person.
I know, right? I've often thought this, myself. You can't make any kind of comment referring to someone's race, religion, sex, gender, age without some politically correct asshole throwing a fit. But an ugly person? Nah, who gives a shit about an ugly person? As far as ugliness goes, I'm probably the most unlucky. I mean, even morbidly obese people have fetishists, but have you ever heard of a cystic acne fetishist?