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December 5, 2012
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"Demonic Harassment"

:iconspudfuzz:
Spudfuzz Featured By Owner Dec 5, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
The last couple days we had really hot summer temperatures, peaking at 38 degrees. Yesterday night, the house started making noises after I fell asleep. At first it sounded like someone was kicking the walls, and a broom fell down, and then kicking my own bedroom door which jolted me awake. My housemate came home and I told her about it, she stayed up a bit to see if it'd happen again. I walked into the bathroom and promptly heard a banging noise twice in a row. I went into her room asking if she heard that and she freaked out because she thought she saw me walking down the hallway into the living room and I made that noise.

-Skipping a lot of attempts to figure out the source of the noise which were determined to come from upstairs, I realized it must be the metal under the stress from all the heat since it had been happening day and night (which were both really hot). Last night the temperature dropped to 23 and the noises stopped. My housemate doesn't like my "metal expansion" theory however and keeps insisting it's "demonic harassment" from this spiritual war going on. She also said "If it's metal expanding then how does that explain that I thought I saw you walking down the hallway?" Oh gee, I dunno. Maybe something to do with peripheral vision and you not paying attention? :roll:

I'm sorry but we've both slept through the bangs and cracking and we're still alive, but now we have to have a pastor come to our house and exorcise the oh so evil noisy demon. I might believe you when it starts picking up knives and flinging them at us but until then can we please just let physics do it's thing and live in the 21st century?

:icontealdeerplz: Metal in house most likely expanding under heat, housemate thinks it's a demon of harassment and called a pastor in to get it exorcised.
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Devious Comments

:iconclavis-salomonis:
Clavis-Salomonis Featured By Owner Dec 7, 2012  Student General Artist
:lmao: that's so awesome!
(I love that you figured out what was going on! Though I'd just nod and smile when she wants a priest, maybe it will just put her fears at rest.)
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:iconmaltese101:
maltese101 Featured By Owner Dec 6, 2012  Student General Artist
Mmm.. I would like some of that vegetable holy juice.

Gonna spray them to my friends :dummy:
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:iconphoenixleo:
phoenixleo Featured By Owner Dec 6, 2012
If I were a demon, I would hardly be tapping and have it considered demonic harassment. :iconmadlynotimpressedplz: Maybe harassment by magical blobs...\o\
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:iconspudfuzz:
Spudfuzz Featured By Owner Dec 6, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I know right. I'd be fucking flinging knives and shit everywhere making it kinda... obvious that I'm harassing people. :facepalm:
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:iconrandomrobskii:
RandomRobskii Featured By Owner Dec 17, 2012  Student Filmographer
I'd be more likely to be the kind of 'demonic harasser' that plays practical jokes. Wait until people turn the light off to go to bed and flick it back on, move their keys to a different place to where they left them, hide the TV remote down the back of the sofa, all that jazz. :la:
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:iconphoenixleo:
phoenixleo Featured By Owner Dec 17, 2012
:icontroofsplz:
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:icon3wyl:
3wyl Featured By Owner Dec 6, 2012  Hobbyist Photographer
Those are the kinds of thought processes that render us back into the past. :O_o:
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:iconspudfuzz:
Spudfuzz Featured By Owner Dec 6, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I think she's already pulled this house back by about a thousand years. She anointed it with vegetable holy oil. It's all over the coffee table, floor and doors. :stare:
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:icon3wyl:
3wyl Featured By Owner Dec 6, 2012  Hobbyist Photographer
Oh.. dear. :O

Well.. that was a waste. I wonder if it'll attract any bugs.
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:iconkitsumekat:
kitsumekat Featured By Owner Dec 6, 2012
Your tl;dr is a wonderful opportunity.
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