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December 3, 2012
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Nobody understands pain like mine

:iconsanguinelaw:
SanguineLaw Featured By Owner Dec 3, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I have come to the conclusion that customer service has gone too far. We shouldn't be indulging the general public by pretending to be kind to them to gain money from them, anyone working in customer service anywhere should drop the polite act forever and tell customers how it is. Does that mean we should do our jobs badly? No, no it should not, we should still offer financial services, products of good quality and returns policies for those who are genuinely dissatisfied with their bought items.

Instead of greeting the complete wankers with "hello, how are you?", we should be allowed to say "Oh fuck, you again? Have you at least learned to write this time? Last time you handed me a catalogue number, I'm pretty sure you put a 'Z' in there, then complained that the straight forward nature of the catalogue is really tough to understand" and "Oh great, it's the woman who bathes in what I can only assume is a hard mix of urine and rotting leper flesh, I hope this time you've come to buy some industrial detergent and a 20 pack of soap. Oh what's that? Another candy floss (cotton candy) machine? Well... We can only hope you pry out the dead rats from your underboob one day."

Imagine the possibilities! Instead of the customers coming in to feel welcome and have a nice whine about how rough the catalogue pages have become, or how the light in the corner slightly flickers sometimes and how disgraceful it is, all in the meantime not realising the irony of your monobrow and whiskey-breath. Oh, you want to return this portable DVD player because it just stopped working one day? Maybe it's the many pieces you seem to have shattered it into, get the fuck out, how dare you tell me such a bad lie, I'm insulted. You could have at least thought of something plausible to say other than "It won't turn on any more" and hope that I somehow have less braincells than you damaged when you headbutted your portable DVD player this morning for a refund.

AND THE WONDER IN MY EYES when I get to turn down a customer because it's obvious he's exporting phones to Pakistan illegally to turn them for a profit, since I know him and his whole gang of Samsung Galaxy purchasers pretty fucking well. That, and getting to tell a customer if they don't know what they want by the time they get to the till, they should probably be loitering in an arcade or other cliché loitering hot-zone. If you think we sell: Motor Homes, Horses, Houses, Petrol, Tickets to concerts, Guns or Swords, you clearly don't understand the nature of the store, or completely ignored the catalogue.

Customers shouldn't feel welcome, they shouldn't feel valued, they should feel scared and alone. And grateful, that we, the customer servants, actually put up with their general plebbery and horrible smells and sell them the items they need.

TL;DR - 99% of customers are awesome and I love speaking to them, but the 1% make me want to drop a box of loose knives into a crowd of chavs.

Anti-Complaint - Everyone has been bought their Christmas presents and I'm so glad I'm done with Christmas shopping, especially since I have to deal with those snide, spiteful, bitter salesmen. They're all the same.
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Devious Comments

:iconilovebigcats:
ILoveBigCats Featured By Owner Dec 6, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Do you work in Argos, by any chance?
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:iconsanguinelaw:
SanguineLaw Featured By Owner Dec 8, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Now I can't tell you that, but let's just say I work in a place that requires you pay for your items before you receive them. :paranoid:
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:iconilovebigcats:
ILoveBigCats Featured By Owner Dec 9, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
That sounds suspiciously like the aforementioned store... :ninja:
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:iconsanguinelaw:
SanguineLaw Featured By Owner Dec 9, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Well, I'm sure there are plenty of stores like that :paranoid: You just can't think of them right now..
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:iconwitwitch:
witwitch Featured By Owner Dec 5, 2012  Student Writer
Maybe you should try telemarketing.
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:iconieighton:
Ieighton Featured By Owner Dec 4, 2012  Hobbyist Photographer
My sister does work screening claims for an insurance company. If you heard some of things people call her up to try and claim for, then you would understand true pain.
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:iconsanguinelaw:
SanguineLaw Featured By Owner Dec 5, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Despite the nature of my thread, I enjoy working where I do :dummy: I'm happy to help people out, so long as there's a bit of respect involved, and there more often than not is. I go the extra mile for those who are just here to buy whatever, and those who are complete shits I give the bare minimum.

I'd hate to have that job for sure :noes:
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:iconrockstar1009:
rockstar1009 Featured By Owner Dec 4, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
You should get a job working for 911/999/112. It's awesome. Like other call center jobs, we're not allowed to "yell" at the general public (and I'll define yelling as raising your voice and using aggressive tones here). BUT - while we aren't allowed to "yell" - we are allowed to raise our voice and use aggressive tones. ;)

You have to get mean with callers sometimes because they're panicked (or drunk/high/flatout tripping balls) and you need to take control and get their attention, or they're just plain mental and you need to not-yell at them for tying up the phone lines with trivial shit.

It's like the exact opposite of commercial call center culture: WE'RE always right, not the customer. We're the police, bitch. What we tell you is final. For us, the whinging is usually from people calling in to complain about a ticket they received or they're upset we haven't served a protection order (we have to physically serve them, not just leave them on the door, and if the person doesn't answer the door but we see them in the house, we can't force entry on a CPO and people hate to hear that the person they're pissed at still has civil protections against police aggression; plus, a CPO isn't a force field that magically keeps people away - they're violated ALL THE TIME). We also require either a date of birth or social security number when we verify warrants against someone, and people get pissed because they know where a wanted person is located (almost always wanted for misdemeanors out of something minor like a failure to appear in court or a bad check) and they can't understand why we need to verify we're arresting the PROPER Michael Smith when there are dozens in a city of over a million people.

It's great to not have to telefelate customers to make them happy. When someone does want to file a complaint against one of us, we refer it to our supervisor (a corporal or sergeant in the department) and they side with us over the caller almost every time.

Of course, those are the non-emergency administrative calls. The life-and-death calls are a different matter and we still have to do everything in our power to help them.
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:iconsanguinelaw:
SanguineLaw Featured By Owner Dec 5, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
That sounds like a pretty sweet job. I can take the heat from people's aggressiveness and anger pretty easily. People think if they shout and make a scene, they're more inclined to get their own way but I think that's a farce, mostly because you can't embarrass me. I imagine talking to people over the phone is a lot easier when they get mad, though, because they can't exactly tower over you in a threatening manner if you're miles away from each other.

The customer misunderstanding (or not understanding completely) is a real pain too, I agree. Customers don't understand why we have to take their details sometimes (even in some cases, home deliveries are questioned by the customer with things like "huh? Why do you need my address?" :noes: ) and some (but a very very small percentage) fail to understand after we've given them the reason for our questions. It's a pain, but something to endure I guess.
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:icontidal-wave-art:
Tidal-Wave-Art Featured By Owner Dec 4, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Ah, man. I should probably start buying presents. :O_o:
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:iconsanguinelaw:
SanguineLaw Featured By Owner Dec 5, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
You definitely should.
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:icon3wyl:
3wyl Featured By Owner Dec 4, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
It's a shame that the 1% ruin the whole thing, but maybe if you keep a record or something, ten years later you'll find yourself laughing at it. :nod:

I haven't bought anything for Christmas. :B
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:iconsanguinelaw:
SanguineLaw Featured By Owner Dec 4, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Oh they don't bother me really, it's only the ones that have a horrible smell that get to me. One smelled like stale smoke, really badly. It's like she hotboxed in her entire house foverer, and when that eternity was done, she dived into a huge dumpster full of ash, just to come over and destroy my nose.

As for the nasty ones, I just don't get why they're nasty for no reason. I think it's just self entitlement really.

You should buy things for Christmas :noes:
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:icon3wyl:
3wyl Featured By Owner Dec 4, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Oh dear. =/

I suppose people like that just get used to their smell. I know I stink myself, but sometimes it just fades into the background.. my lovely stench, I mean. :la:

That sucks. :no:

I don't know what to get! I suck at it so badly! :nuu:
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:iconwikidtron:
Wikidtron Featured By Owner Dec 3, 2012  Professional Artist
I skimmed through the complaint and gathered you're sore because you're a bitch for some company that expects you to represent them in a manner that makes them look good.

Well, you like getting paid, don't you? You're either going to have to work for yourself, work for a place that doesn't require you to interact with the public, or go fuck yourself and die. While being a bitch. Cause you need the money.

That's why I developed a valuable skill- I wanted to be treated with respect. You don't get that without earning it.
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:iconsanguinelaw:
SanguineLaw Featured By Owner Dec 4, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
You skimmed through the complaint and failed to pick up any form of sarcasm :no: and you missed the joke. Oh well, I'm sorry sir that the complaint isn't satisfactory to your needs, let me call my manager and we'll see if we can rectify this situation. Please hold.
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:iconpuzzledheartbox:
PuzzledHeartBox Featured By Owner Dec 3, 2012
The only person I still need to buy an x-mas present for is my brother.. he's begging me to give him my AC3 copy, like hell he's getting it :lol:
Don't even get me started on customer service, I have to do the phone services from time to time and people can be fucking stupid.
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:iconabrigedfoamy:
Abrigedfoamy Featured By Owner Dec 3, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
i took a volley ball to the face today and now i can't move my jaw
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:iconikiska:
iKiska Featured By Owner Dec 4, 2012  Student General Artist
Did you hit it into your own face?

You haven't felt volleyball embarrassment until you've managed to single-handedly hit a ball into your own face, and I also mean without bouncing it off anything else. :no:
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:iconabrigedfoamy:
Abrigedfoamy Featured By Owner Dec 5, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
no but one time i managed to hit a baseball into my face with a metal bat
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:iconikiska:
iKiska Featured By Owner Dec 6, 2012  Student General Artist
Excellent, you're well on your way. :salute:
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:iconsanguinelaw:
SanguineLaw Featured By Owner Dec 4, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Why did you think it a good idea to hit the ball with your face anyway? :no:
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:iconabrigedfoamy:
Abrigedfoamy Featured By Owner Dec 4, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
yeah like a human can duck out of the way from a ball going about 500mph
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:iconsanguinelaw:
SanguineLaw Featured By Owner Dec 5, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
If a ball was going at 500mph, you'd be dead or something.
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:iconzodiacgal:
zodiacgal Featured By Owner Dec 3, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Some customers are good, some I want to punch in the face. It's the circle of life baby! :dummy:
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:iconsanguinelaw:
SanguineLaw Featured By Owner Dec 4, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Most are nice and polite and just want to buy things, but I swear, some just want to buy things and be a total rotten pleb. It depends person to person, but I can't understand what would make a person so bitter that they'd actually be a worthless pile of faeces.
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:iconcatapultedcarcass:
CatapultedCarcass Featured By Owner Dec 3, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
I've come to learn that the customer is always wrong.
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:iconsanguinelaw:
SanguineLaw Featured By Owner Dec 4, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I think usually the customer is misinformed, but some are right :dummy:
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:iconcatapultedcarcass:
CatapultedCarcass Featured By Owner Dec 4, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
No. ALL WRONG.
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:iconsanguinelaw:
SanguineLaw Featured By Owner Dec 5, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Well, as a customer, I have to disag.... Fuck.
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:iconshannor:
shannor Featured By Owner Dec 3, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
That's fine by me, as long as you can take it as well as you can dish it out! :)

When customer service assumes they know more than I do, I have a problem. In this case, I could say with some certainty that they didn't - if they had a relevant qualification of any kind at all, I'd have shut up and let them muddle through diagnostics themselves. But no, they keep telling me: "Let me transfer you to tech support." They'd do that, and I'd be asked: "Did you run this diagnostic?" because that's what their computer screen tells them to ask. This diagnostic takes six freaking hours (highly inefficient, I diagnosed the problem correctly without running that diagnostic, but went along with it the first time just to jump through the hoops). Okay, fine, six hours, call back, new customer service representative. Repeat ad nauseum because they would not accept that I already did that six times with six different customer service representatives. All I wanted was to cash in on my damned warranty. Yes, I could invalidate the warranty, and fix it myself... but why would I do that if I bought a warranty? That warranty covered the parts to fix the problem, and the problem wasn't with that product specifically, but with a component of the product. Why should I be out $600 for something the warranty covers? That's daft. Needless to say, I don't buy through that company anymore, because cashing in on the warranty almost cost me as much in lost hours at work (customer service was only open 9-5 on weekdays - talk about inconvenient!) and phone calls as the new part would have out of pocket! To hell with crappy customer service, and crappy customers.
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:iconrandomrobskii:
RandomRobskii Featured By Owner Dec 3, 2012  Student Filmographer
Fair enough when customer service is techically based. I reckon they should all go through training as to not give the old, 'have you tried turning it off and on again?'
Other things, I'd say that it's a good thing we know more than the customer. As in:
'Do you sell motor homes here?'
'Nope, we don't.'
'Can you get a supervisor and check?'


:stare:
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:iconsapphire-ashesx:
Sapphire-Ashesx Featured By Owner Dec 3, 2012
but then they'd be mean to me for being dumb. :saddummy:
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:iconcindarellapop:
CindarellaPop Featured By Owner Dec 3, 2012  Student Traditional Artist
This post just made me realize how much I want a candy floss machine. Also how much 'candy floss' sounds better than 'cotton candy.'
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:iconsanguinelaw:
SanguineLaw Featured By Owner Dec 4, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Candy floss sounds nicer, but cotton candy makes more sense as a term.
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:iconcindarellapop:
CindarellaPop Featured By Owner Dec 4, 2012  Student Traditional Artist
I like "barbe a papa" too, which is Spanish for 'Papa's beard.' Best name for the stuff, imo.
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:iconjuliabohemian:
Juliabohemian Featured By Owner Dec 3, 2012
Have you ever used one? It’s not like floss at all. It’s like sugar filled fiberglass that adheres itself to you and everything you are wearing forever.

I mean, it’s delicious. But still.
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:iconcindarellapop:
CindarellaPop Featured By Owner Dec 3, 2012  Student Traditional Artist
I have to make cotton candy every week as part of my job. I actually prefer it to standing at the counter and dealing with people all day. It's damn messy but I don't mind the clean up.
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:iconjuliabohemian:
Juliabohemian Featured By Owner Dec 3, 2012
Do you wear like a big hazmat type thing? Because I was ill prepared when I had to do it with a measly apron.
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:iconcindarellapop:
CindarellaPop Featured By Owner Dec 3, 2012  Student Traditional Artist
I just use my apron. I've actually gotten good enough at it that I can make thirty some odd bags of cotton candy at a time without getting sugar on my pants or shirt. Though I do still get it in my hair.
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:iconjuliabohemian:
Juliabohemian Featured By Owner Dec 3, 2012
You are skilled and mighty. :la:
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:iconcindarellapop:
CindarellaPop Featured By Owner Dec 3, 2012  Student Traditional Artist
I was so proud of myself the first time I did it without having to immediately wash my shirt. :la:
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:iconjuliabohemian:
Juliabohemian Featured By Owner Dec 3, 2012
I would think you would have to get good at it or go through a lot of shirts.

Where do you work, if you don‘t mind me asking?
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(1 Reply)
:iconrandomrobskii:
RandomRobskii Featured By Owner Dec 3, 2012  Student Filmographer
:lol: been reading too much Notalwaysright.com?

Today my boss told me at peak christmas shopping periods, we have queues all the way up the aisles, and they have to stop people coming into the store because people can literally not move. Fun stuff. :grump:
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:iconsanguinelaw:
SanguineLaw Featured By Owner Dec 4, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I have, but some of the stories on there are refreshing :lol:

Apparently, during Christmas time over here, we'll be getting so many customers that the conveyor belt (the thing the goods come from) is going to be literally full of boxes. Yay.
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:iconshininginthedarkness:
shininginthedarkness Featured By Owner Dec 3, 2012
Customer service people are being replaced by machines. One's ability to placate angry customers is the only thing stopping this from being more widespread. In short, it's your job.
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:iconsanguinelaw:
SanguineLaw Featured By Owner Dec 3, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
After the documentary "The Terminator" was released, I doubt companies are willing to risk the doom of humanity for lower wage costs! It's a ludicrous notion to be sure.
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:iconbenjamin-biddix:
Benjamin-Biddix Featured By Owner Dec 3, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Nice wall of text I don't feel like reading today honestly so I will just comment on the anti complaint.
Those salesmen have no right to be bitter....the customer always right.
...and that's also why I am glad I don't work at any super-store.
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:iconrandomrobskii:
RandomRobskii Featured By Owner Dec 3, 2012  Student Filmographer
Oh dear.. Shoulda read the complaint. :lol:
Out of interest, have you ever worked with members of the general public?
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:iconbenjamin-biddix:
Benjamin-Biddix Featured By Owner Dec 3, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
yes, at a wal-mart of all places...:iconredneckplz:
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