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December 3, 2012


Replies: 77

Nobody understands pain like mine

SanguineLaw Featured By Owner Dec 3, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I have come to the conclusion that customer service has gone too far. We shouldn't be indulging the general public by pretending to be kind to them to gain money from them, anyone working in customer service anywhere should drop the polite act forever and tell customers how it is. Does that mean we should do our jobs badly? No, no it should not, we should still offer financial services, products of good quality and returns policies for those who are genuinely dissatisfied with their bought items.

Instead of greeting the complete wankers with "hello, how are you?", we should be allowed to say "Oh fuck, you again? Have you at least learned to write this time? Last time you handed me a catalogue number, I'm pretty sure you put a 'Z' in there, then complained that the straight forward nature of the catalogue is really tough to understand" and "Oh great, it's the woman who bathes in what I can only assume is a hard mix of urine and rotting leper flesh, I hope this time you've come to buy some industrial detergent and a 20 pack of soap. Oh what's that? Another candy floss (cotton candy) machine? Well... We can only hope you pry out the dead rats from your underboob one day."

Imagine the possibilities! Instead of the customers coming in to feel welcome and have a nice whine about how rough the catalogue pages have become, or how the light in the corner slightly flickers sometimes and how disgraceful it is, all in the meantime not realising the irony of your monobrow and whiskey-breath. Oh, you want to return this portable DVD player because it just stopped working one day? Maybe it's the many pieces you seem to have shattered it into, get the fuck out, how dare you tell me such a bad lie, I'm insulted. You could have at least thought of something plausible to say other than "It won't turn on any more" and hope that I somehow have less braincells than you damaged when you headbutted your portable DVD player this morning for a refund.

AND THE WONDER IN MY EYES when I get to turn down a customer because it's obvious he's exporting phones to Pakistan illegally to turn them for a profit, since I know him and his whole gang of Samsung Galaxy purchasers pretty fucking well. That, and getting to tell a customer if they don't know what they want by the time they get to the till, they should probably be loitering in an arcade or other cliché loitering hot-zone. If you think we sell: Motor Homes, Horses, Houses, Petrol, Tickets to concerts, Guns or Swords, you clearly don't understand the nature of the store, or completely ignored the catalogue.

Customers shouldn't feel welcome, they shouldn't feel valued, they should feel scared and alone. And grateful, that we, the customer servants, actually put up with their general plebbery and horrible smells and sell them the items they need.

TL;DR - 99% of customers are awesome and I love speaking to them, but the 1% make me want to drop a box of loose knives into a crowd of chavs.

Anti-Complaint - Everyone has been bought their Christmas presents and I'm so glad I'm done with Christmas shopping, especially since I have to deal with those snide, spiteful, bitter salesmen. They're all the same.

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Devious Comments

ILoveBigCats Featured By Owner Dec 6, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Do you work in Argos, by any chance?
SanguineLaw Featured By Owner Dec 8, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Now I can't tell you that, but let's just say I work in a place that requires you pay for your items before you receive them. :paranoid:
ILoveBigCats Featured By Owner Dec 9, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
That sounds suspiciously like the aforementioned store... :ninja:
SanguineLaw Featured By Owner Dec 9, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Well, I'm sure there are plenty of stores like that :paranoid: You just can't think of them right now..
witwitch Featured By Owner Dec 5, 2012  Student Writer
Maybe you should try telemarketing.
Ieighton Featured By Owner Dec 4, 2012  Hobbyist Photographer
My sister does work screening claims for an insurance company. If you heard some of things people call her up to try and claim for, then you would understand true pain.
SanguineLaw Featured By Owner Dec 5, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Despite the nature of my thread, I enjoy working where I do :dummy: I'm happy to help people out, so long as there's a bit of respect involved, and there more often than not is. I go the extra mile for those who are just here to buy whatever, and those who are complete shits I give the bare minimum.

I'd hate to have that job for sure :noes:
rockstar1009 Featured By Owner Dec 4, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
You should get a job working for 911/999/112. It's awesome. Like other call center jobs, we're not allowed to "yell" at the general public (and I'll define yelling as raising your voice and using aggressive tones here). BUT - while we aren't allowed to "yell" - we are allowed to raise our voice and use aggressive tones. ;)

You have to get mean with callers sometimes because they're panicked (or drunk/high/flatout tripping balls) and you need to take control and get their attention, or they're just plain mental and you need to not-yell at them for tying up the phone lines with trivial shit.

It's like the exact opposite of commercial call center culture: WE'RE always right, not the customer. We're the police, bitch. What we tell you is final. For us, the whinging is usually from people calling in to complain about a ticket they received or they're upset we haven't served a protection order (we have to physically serve them, not just leave them on the door, and if the person doesn't answer the door but we see them in the house, we can't force entry on a CPO and people hate to hear that the person they're pissed at still has civil protections against police aggression; plus, a CPO isn't a force field that magically keeps people away - they're violated ALL THE TIME). We also require either a date of birth or social security number when we verify warrants against someone, and people get pissed because they know where a wanted person is located (almost always wanted for misdemeanors out of something minor like a failure to appear in court or a bad check) and they can't understand why we need to verify we're arresting the PROPER Michael Smith when there are dozens in a city of over a million people.

It's great to not have to telefelate customers to make them happy. When someone does want to file a complaint against one of us, we refer it to our supervisor (a corporal or sergeant in the department) and they side with us over the caller almost every time.

Of course, those are the non-emergency administrative calls. The life-and-death calls are a different matter and we still have to do everything in our power to help them.
SanguineLaw Featured By Owner Dec 5, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
That sounds like a pretty sweet job. I can take the heat from people's aggressiveness and anger pretty easily. People think if they shout and make a scene, they're more inclined to get their own way but I think that's a farce, mostly because you can't embarrass me. I imagine talking to people over the phone is a lot easier when they get mad, though, because they can't exactly tower over you in a threatening manner if you're miles away from each other.

The customer misunderstanding (or not understanding completely) is a real pain too, I agree. Customers don't understand why we have to take their details sometimes (even in some cases, home deliveries are questioned by the customer with things like "huh? Why do you need my address?" :noes: ) and some (but a very very small percentage) fail to understand after we've given them the reason for our questions. It's a pain, but something to endure I guess.
Tidal-Wave-Art Featured By Owner Dec 4, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Ah, man. I should probably start buying presents. :O_o:
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