SinisterStickFeatured By OwnerDec 3, 2012Hobbyist Writer
So basically, you hate all women simply because this one girl had no interest in you? I can't tell if you're mad, butthurt, or just easily willing to give up on things... Hmm, my money's on the third option.
She may have said she didn't want a relationship, but that could be for any number of reasons! She could have told you from the beginning that she has a boyfriend and she didn't, which is rather irresponsible on her part. Why keep that information from being known?
sounds like she should have been up front with you about the boyfriend. That's a red flag in itself so you should feel relieved you didn't get into a serious relationship with her. On the other hand, if you feel like you could still be friends then go for it, if not then give yourself some time to get over over this before seeking out another relationship.
She DID tell you she didn't want a relationship with you. She thought you got the point.
And no, the cuddling doesn't mean a thing - I know lots of people who cuddle their friends all the time and have no intention to be a couple. The trip doesn't mean a thing - you were her close guy friend and she wanted to hang out with you over the holidays.
Bottom line - she is probably not a heartless bitch that wants to break your heart while having a better boyfriend. She's just a friends who thought you were okay with it all because you apparently had talked the "just being friends"-part out.
Oh, and never "pine after" a girl who says she only wants to be friends. Being friend is okay... but "pine after" sounds like you're being a "I'm a nice guy who totally can just be friend with you until you finally let me be with you"-stalker. The letter just adds up on that.
Oh wait, this is Complaint and not HWL? Öhm... well... you know. Bitch be crazy and keep getting drunk?
You forgot the part where they initially went out, and then she pulled that on him, without even mentioning she has a bf, and trying to excuse herself in another way that made him consider she just didn't want to go that far, but liked him still.
I might have missed something. Though unless she had the boyfriend while they OP and her went out that doesn't change much.
I don't know. I might have missed something but what I was trying to get at was:
She might have played him, but she might have just seen things another way and thought they were cool with just being friends (if not of the cuddling kind, but that doesn't have to mean anything).
Then of course if she DID have a boyfriend while she and the OP went out - she should've told him. Though if they were THAT close of friends to spend the holidays together she would probably have told him anyway.
Bottom line: I don't know. She might be a bitch or it might be a misunderstanding. Doesn't change that one shouldn't give people - who told them they don't want a relationship - creepy letters and trying to be friends just to get close to them. From what I could gather they didn't seem to be on the same level in their friendship and he would've probably be more happy if he got over her properly before trying to be close friends.
Oh, forgot once more that this isn't HWL and that I probably shouldn't even try to justify anyone's side.
Her explanation was that she wasn't ready and didn't want a relationship at the time, not forever. Hence why he decided to make sure that when she was ready she'd go for him. They had went out so she obviously had some interest in him. If he thought she just needed time according to her own words, how is this him being a creepy stalker when she accepted stuff like spooning from him? He hardly pushed himself on her. It was obviously taken much more casually by her, but not for him.
Why not, a constructive discussion can be just as fun or more so than a nonsensical one?
Isn't that what girls usually say when they want to let someone down easy? Like one of those "it's not you, it's me..."?
Though I can agree she did send mixed messages. But there is something with the way he explained himself that made me think of... maybe not stalker, but creepy guy who doesn't really get the hint that he should back off (okay spooning someone might actually hint in the wrong direction). Though a lot of guys with relationship trouble seem to come off that way. I think it might be I who jump to conclusions that is against those guys because I can't help reading them as... I don't know... unpleasant...
Anyway, the "theory" I wrote in the first message was mostly about if they had talked about just being friends and both had agreed that "we're just friends" then she maybe didn't see it all like misleading him. It's just that I have lots of friends that acts the way that the OP describes, but since they're just friends with no interest in each other, they won't feel misled or hurt.
She should've been more clear that she didn't want a relationship (at all, if that was what she actually meant... especially if she had the boyfriend back then...) and he should've gotten over her better before becoming a close friend. Or... well, that would've been my advice in a situation like that.
It's probably more giving. Depending on the topic. I've just always had a feeling that discussions in the "Complaint" forum is usually supposed to... be in a certain way.
Expecting him to interpret it that way is expecting him to generalize and believe she's lying, which would be disrespectful. And I see.
Complaints forum is merely treated a certain way by some people, it's purpose isn't to take everything like a joke in itself. It's just practical to acknowledge that those people treat it as such and you should react to accordingly to them.
Ouch man, but dude, out of every lovely Koi pond, you're going to find at least one bottom feeder. It happens....now what you do is you go write emotional depressing poetry while pissed drunk and post it ALL on facebook for all her friends to see and know. Throw as much troll as you possibly can so you effectively ruin her reputation.
....A mix of beer, Linking Park, and League of Legends works even better than whiskey if you do it right.
Sucks indeed way too much... I understand you, when feelings are involved, specially those of love, we try to be positive and persevere to hopefully get into a relationship. She was indeed evil with you, hope you can find someone in the future who can appreciate you. Something similar happened to me two years ago, except I was dumped with the surprise on X-mass -_-