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December 2, 2012
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Another kick in the dick from your friend, Life.

:iconmattyohh:
Mattyohh Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2012
SO I was seeing this girl, it was all going well, and she abruptly decided no, I can't do this, I don't want a relationship, i'm not ready etc. So I was like yeah cool i'll just pine after you instead.

So the whole pining thing was going well, I was making progress, I'd still see her, we'd watch movies in my bed, and we'd spoon, she'd put her face against mine about to kiss me, but she wouldn't because of the aforementioned I don't want a relationship.

She's just left for America on a little holiday and told me to come spend Christmas and New Years with her in New York. 'Fuck yeah' I thought, that's romantic as shit, crossing half the world to see a girl, to spend Christmas and New Years with her. I'll be in, i'm a nice guy, she likes me, I can tell.

I wrote her a letter before she left, which she read on the plane, it was pretty good actually, one of the finer moments of prose in my life. It wasn't I LOVE YOU PLEASE BE WITH ME, it was more of a letter of admiration, that kind of thing where it isn't corny, it's just heartfelt feelings, and thoughts about how awesome a person is.

THE FUN PART WHERE LIFE THROWS A TANK AT MY DICK AND INSERTS RAZORS INTO MY HEART:

I was talking to her friend on Facebook, and letting her now about what was going on etc. Her friend was like this is so heartbreaking. I didn't quite follow, I didn't understand that letters and planes were so moving. I was stupid.

She has a boyfriend, and has possible had one the entire time I was seeing her. Her friend knew, and because of my heartfelt feelings about the girl which i told her, she sent her a rather abusive text message informing her that she was being a massive cunt.

So today I got a message; Hey dude. I have to tell you something. I'm not interested in you cause I am seeing someone. I read your letter and it made me cry. You're such a beautiful person and I don't deserve your attention. I am sorry for doing this to you.

RIGHT IN THE FEELINGS.

TL;DR I like girl, girl liked me, girl and I did things, girl had boyfriend, Not enough whiskey in the world.

I hate women now. You're all those fish with the light bulb thing that inhabits trenches luring in unsuspecting fish like me, before you devour us with your razor teeth.
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Devious Comments

:iconvi0letdream:
vi0letdream Featured By Owner Dec 6, 2012  Student General Artist
That sucks... If she did that, then she doesn't deserve you :hug:
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:iconrisesatspring:
risesatspring Featured By Owner Dec 4, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I'm so immature, I laughed so hard at that title.
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:icon0rg:
0rg Featured By Owner Dec 4, 2012
maybe you should tell a certain someone that their girlfriend enjoys spooning with miscellaneous individuals that are not him, just a thought
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:iconmattyohh:
Mattyohh Featured By Owner Dec 4, 2012
I don't know him, I tend to stay away from the hapless stoner crowd
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:iconcrimeroyale:
CrimeRoyale Featured By Owner Dec 4, 2012  Professional
Hey champ, I'm sorry. C'mon, bring it in.

And those fish are called Angler Fish.
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:iconmattyohh:
Mattyohh Featured By Owner Dec 4, 2012
That's it. They're Angler Fish. I should find a Marlin, a delicious, majestic Marlin.
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:iconcrimeroyale:
CrimeRoyale Featured By Owner Dec 5, 2012  Professional
And you will! You will!
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:iconflicher:
Flicher Featured By Owner Dec 4, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Pining never works. A woman is either interested or not. You need to go after real women. This is a fine example of why men and women find it hard to be 'just friends.' It rarely works.
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:iconcyphurel:
Cyphurel Featured By Owner Dec 4, 2012
" i'm a nice guy"
"I hate women now. You're all those fish with the light bulb thing that inhabits trenches luring in unsuspecting fish like me, before you devour us with your razor teeth."

uhuh
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:iconmaltese101:
maltese101 Featured By Owner Dec 4, 2012  Student General Artist
Well; the black note of relationships.
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