Cock drought


Ninjaslug's avatar
I figured it was time for another dick complaint, with a super ironic title!

Fucking shit, weather. You've been wet and cold as shit lately and it's been amazing. This steppe climate is uncomfortable as hell during the summer and I love it when the rain rolls in for a few months and it gets nice and chilly.

And then sudden heatwave. With it, comes being thigh high in ball's soup. What's worse than that?

When I go to jerk off, and my cock is greasy. Grease-cock is the worst experience a man can ever get. Girl's boobs sweat, but it nowhere near feels as raunchy as the evils of cocksweat. It's not something that you can just wipe off, either. You can't absorb cock-grease, you can't get rid of it. No, it'll remain on your dick till you take your second shower in the godamn day to get rid of it.

And it's ridiculous. I am not going to take another fucking shower today to solve the only part of my body that managed to sweat enough to get dirty.

and even then, the dickgrease doesn't just go away. That shit lingers like a fart signalling it's time to shit.

:icontealdeerplz: I'm angry at another internet user and my cock is too greasy even though I showered this morning.
Comments144
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Ieighton's avatar
You can't absorb cock-grease, you can't get rid of it.

baby wipes

do not reuse on baby
PhanThom-art's avatar
haha the comments on this are hilarious
Patt-Ytto's avatar
Ewwww what the fuck is cock grease man you need to see a doctor or something
i live in hot climates and i don't have any grease around my wang D:
PuzzledHeartBox's avatar
I feel sorry for you and your tender sack, may it turn into a bag of dried up prunes never to sweat and grease your hands again :dummy:
lovebehr's avatar
Why did I read this? So much regret... :iconheaddeskplz:
Ninjaslug's avatar
It made your downstairs tingle didn't it
lovebehr's avatar
Very much so. You have no idea. :iconicameplz:
WiggleWaddle's avatar
Powder your little cock 'n' balls, then, sweaty spaghetti.
Ninjaslug's avatar
Little?

Well thanks! Never been complimented so heavily on my size before.
WiggleWaddle's avatar
BUT... WHAT'S LITTLER THAN LITTLE?
WiggleWaddle's avatar
Baby penis.

BABY PENIS

BABY

:iconheavyplz:
RockyGems's avatar
Talcum powder. It's not just for babies.
CrimeRoyale's avatar
... I have NEVER had that, EVER.

You should probably see a doctor or something, chief.
Ninjaslug's avatar
A doctor? For dick grease?
CrimeRoyale's avatar
SOMETHING THAT ISN'T NORMAL?
Ninjaslug's avatar
Sometimes my farts smell like poo but I don't go running off to the doctor every time that happens.

Normally greasedick just means it's hot and that I've been sweaty.
CrimeRoyale's avatar
Sweat on your dick is perfectly normal.

Grease, on the other hand...
Ninjaslug's avatar
CrimeRoyale's avatar
I worry about you, broslice.
OrangeKrissy's avatar
Can we get rid of this slug once and for all? Battle stations everyone! Man your salt shakers!
Ninjaslug's avatar
Jesus I've heard this joke at least five hundred times already.

I'm not even an otherkin slug, are you really so untalented at making jokes that you resort to the cheapest giggle? Are you really so stupid to think that anyone finds it to be funny?