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December 2, 2012
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Replies: 143

Cock drought

:iconninjaslug:
Ninjaslug Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
I figured it was time for another dick complaint, with a super ironic title!

Fucking shit, weather. You've been wet and cold as shit lately and it's been amazing. This steppe climate is uncomfortable as hell during the summer and I love it when the rain rolls in for a few months and it gets nice and chilly.

And then sudden heatwave. With it, comes being thigh high in ball's soup. What's worse than that?

When I go to jerk off, and my cock is greasy. Grease-cock is the worst experience a man can ever get. Girl's boobs sweat, but it nowhere near feels as raunchy as the evils of cocksweat. It's not something that you can just wipe off, either. You can't absorb cock-grease, you can't get rid of it. No, it'll remain on your dick till you take your second shower in the godamn day to get rid of it.

And it's ridiculous. I am not going to take another fucking shower today to solve the only part of my body that managed to sweat enough to get dirty.

and even then, the dickgrease doesn't just go away. That shit lingers like a fart signalling it's time to shit.

:icontealdeerplz: I'm angry at another internet user and my cock is too greasy even though I showered this morning.
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Devious Comments

:iconieighton:
Ieighton Featured By Owner Dec 4, 2012  Hobbyist Photographer
You can't absorb cock-grease, you can't get rid of it.

baby wipes

do not reuse on baby
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:iconphanthom-art:
PhanThom-art Featured By Owner Dec 4, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
haha the comments on this are hilarious
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:iconpatt-ytto:
Patt-Ytto Featured By Owner Dec 4, 2012
Ewwww what the fuck is cock grease man you need to see a doctor or something
i live in hot climates and i don't have any grease around my wang D:
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:iconpuzzledheartbox:
PuzzledHeartBox Featured By Owner Dec 4, 2012
I feel sorry for you and your tender sack, may it turn into a bag of dried up prunes never to sweat and grease your hands again :dummy:
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:iconlovebehr:
lovebehr Featured By Owner Dec 3, 2012
Why did I read this? So much regret... :iconheaddeskplz:
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:iconninjaslug:
Ninjaslug Featured By Owner Dec 3, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
It made your downstairs tingle didn't it
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:iconlovebehr:
lovebehr Featured By Owner Dec 3, 2012
Very much so. You have no idea. :iconicameplz:
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:iconninjaslug:
Ninjaslug Featured By Owner Dec 3, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
KNEWIT
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:iconwigglewaddle:
WiggleWaddle Featured By Owner Dec 3, 2012
Powder your little cock 'n' balls, then, sweaty spaghetti.
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:iconninjaslug:
Ninjaslug Featured By Owner Dec 3, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Little?

Well thanks! Never been complimented so heavily on my size before.
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:iconwigglewaddle:
WiggleWaddle Featured By Owner Dec 4, 2012
BUT... WHAT'S LITTLER THAN LITTLE?
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:iconninjaslug:
Ninjaslug Featured By Owner Dec 4, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
.....me :iconokayguyplz:
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:iconwigglewaddle:
WiggleWaddle Featured By Owner Dec 4, 2012
Baby penis.

BABY PENIS

BABY

:iconheavyplz:
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:icondawnsbreak:
DawnsBreak Featured By Owner Dec 3, 2012
:pointandlaugh:
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:iconrockygems:
RockyGems Featured By Owner Dec 3, 2012  Student General Artist
Talcum powder. It's not just for babies.
Reply
:iconcrimeroyale:
CrimeRoyale Featured By Owner Dec 3, 2012  Professional
... I have NEVER had that, EVER.

You should probably see a doctor or something, chief.
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:iconninjaslug:
Ninjaslug Featured By Owner Dec 3, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
A doctor? For dick grease?
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:iconcrimeroyale:
CrimeRoyale Featured By Owner Dec 3, 2012  Professional
SOMETHING THAT ISN'T NORMAL?
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:iconninjaslug:
Ninjaslug Featured By Owner Dec 3, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Sometimes my farts smell like poo but I don't go running off to the doctor every time that happens.

Normally greasedick just means it's hot and that I've been sweaty.
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:iconcrimeroyale:
CrimeRoyale Featured By Owner Dec 3, 2012  Professional
Sweat on your dick is perfectly normal.

Grease, on the other hand...
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:iconninjaslug:
Ninjaslug Featured By Owner Dec 3, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Same thing
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:iconcrimeroyale:
CrimeRoyale Featured By Owner Dec 4, 2012  Professional
I worry about you, broslice.
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:iconorangekrissy:
OrangeKrissy Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2012
Can we get rid of this slug once and for all? Battle stations everyone! Man your salt shakers!
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:iconninjaslug:
Ninjaslug Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Jesus I've heard this joke at least five hundred times already.

I'm not even an otherkin slug, are you really so untalented at making jokes that you resort to the cheapest giggle? Are you really so stupid to think that anyone finds it to be funny?
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:iconorangekrissy:
OrangeKrissy Featured By Owner Dec 3, 2012
So that was a common joke? Only if you have heard it 500 times before I guess. I need to go to google and find the latest jokes it seems.
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:iconninjaslug:
Ninjaslug Featured By Owner Dec 3, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Apparently!
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:iconorangekrissy:
OrangeKrissy Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2012
Thank you for sharing about cocksweat. I think you slugs should worry more about slime. That reminds me of a joke - how do you know where a girl with no legs has been? Just look for the slug trail.
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:iconsapphire-ashesx:
Sapphire-Ashesx Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2012
Get a fan and put in your pants. Keep it there at all times and it'll stop sweating.
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:iconninjaslug:
Ninjaslug Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
I can't believe I haven't thought of it.
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:iconsapphire-ashesx:
Sapphire-Ashesx Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2012
Ikr?
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:icontacbot89:
tacbot89 Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2012
So glad I live somewhere dry, so very glad.
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:iconmyallseeingeye:
MyAllSeeingEye Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2012
This is disgusting. Goodness me :(
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:iconninjaslug:
Ninjaslug Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
I agree whole-heartedly. :(
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:iconkinrift:
Kinrift Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2012
I've heard that NaOH is good for cutting through grease. Just mix a bit with water and pour it all over there. You'll never have to worry about dickbutter again! :la:
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:iconninjaslug:
Ninjaslug Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
........that sounds like a horrible idea.
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:iconkinrift:
Kinrift Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2012
It gets rid of dickbutter, though. :)
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:iconjuneias:
Juneias Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Ew
Must get alot of smegma naaaaassssstyyy shhhit
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:iconbootypatrol:
BootyPatrol Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Why did this comment make me laugh
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:iconjuneias:
Juneias Featured By Owner Dec 3, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
xD
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:iconninjaslug:
Ninjaslug Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Smegma comes from leftover pre-cum and cum, not sweat.
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:iconjuneias:
Juneias Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
No it doesnt its an oil secrearion
If u have left behind semen that is sad lol
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:iconninjaslug:
Ninjaslug Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Where did you get this information?
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:iconjuneias:
Juneias Featured By Owner Dec 3, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Oh dear god i never thought id have to give the definition for dick and clit cheese -_-

The internet
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:iconninjaslug:
Ninjaslug Featured By Owner Dec 3, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
I'm not asking for the definition you idiot, I'm asking where you got your misinformation.
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:iconjuneias:
Juneias Featured By Owner Dec 3, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Wtf why r u being rude

Did i give u the definition? No
Did i tell u where i got it from? Yes

Ok dont insult me b/c ur smegma is left over cum
[link]

It doesnt come from your balls, idiot girls can have it too -.-
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:iconninjaslug:
Ninjaslug Featured By Owner Dec 3, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Wow, now someone's being rude.

P.S. wait a few years before coming onto dA, you might have not read this but you need to be at least 13 years of age.
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(1 Reply)
:iconpenhuin:
Penhuin Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Try talking to a sexy man with sweaty titties :stare:

Maybe you should let your dick hang out more, it seems to like the attention.
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:iconninjaslug:
Ninjaslug Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Honestly guys couldn't really give three shits about it.
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:iconpenhuin:
Penhuin Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Well us girls give four shits about it because we're.... we're..... FEMALE!
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:iconninjaslug:
Ninjaslug Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
yeah well I'm male and I wanna lick the sweat off of your sweaty sweat swating boobs

.....god I felt some bile in my throat
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