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November 30, 2012
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Replies: 62
:iconmattyohh:
Mattyohh Featured By Owner Nov 30, 2012
I'm 0.01 above the legal blood alcohol limit so i can't drive down to work to get free food, and hang out eating more free food. I regret having those beers as I now have to wait like 20 minutes? or some shit.

I'm not drunk, I barely have a buzz but the man doesn't want me behind the wheel. I'd risk it, but i'm too pretty for jail, and i like my rectum how it is.

Bonus complaint: I ran out of beer, and I only wanted one more after I came home from work with my boon for free shit. The shops are closed and all I have left is whiskey, delicious whiskey.

Also I just farted on a cane toad to let him know that being on a table isn't cool.
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Devious Comments

:icontheleaveshaveeyes:
theleaveshaveeyes Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2012  Professional Photographer
Buzzed driving is still stupid as fuck. Wait an hour or two and sober up. Free food isn't worth jail, hurting yourself or someone else.
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:iconksxzt:
KSXZT Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
:unimpressed: By the time you'd started driving, then got pulled over and tested, you'd be under the limit anyway.
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:iconkitsumekat:
kitsumekat Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2012
The hell? It's .08 here.
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:iconmattyohh:
Mattyohh Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2012
What kind of magical land is that
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:iconkitsumekat:
kitsumekat Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2012
Nebraska! :dummy:
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:iconmattyohh:
Mattyohh Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2012
God's country
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:iconkitsumekat:
kitsumekat Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2012
Not really.
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:iconmikepav:
mikepav Featured By Owner Dec 1, 2012
JUST DRIVE DRUNK YOU FUCKING PANSY!
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:iconmattyohh:
Mattyohh Featured By Owner Dec 1, 2012
I did and it was worth it
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:iconmikepav:
mikepav Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2012
it always is. noting ever happens. it's just down the road anyway!
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:iconmattyohh:
Mattyohh Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2012
I only get pulled over when i'm late, or at some obscure time. 7am random breath test on a Tuesday morning.
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:iconvi0letdreamer:
vi0letdreamer Featured By Owner Nov 30, 2012  Student Photographer
Get someone else to drive you
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:iconzodiacgal:
zodiacgal Featured By Owner Nov 30, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Just remember, no drinking under the influence! :dummy:
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:iconmattyohh:
Mattyohh Featured By Owner Nov 30, 2012
Would i ever do something like that
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:iconzodiacgal:
zodiacgal Featured By Owner Nov 30, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Maybe, maybe not. :iconhmplz:
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:icongogo-t-w:
GoGo-T-W Featured By Owner Nov 30, 2012   Traditional Artist
How does one find their own BAC?
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:iconmattyohh:
Mattyohh Featured By Owner Nov 30, 2012
I have my own breath tester thingy
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:iconneurotype:
neurotype Featured By Owner Nov 30, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Why? How? :O
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:iconmattyohh:
Mattyohh Featured By Owner Dec 1, 2012
Why - So I can know when i'm able to drive if I have a few beers at university
How - Slutty ex-girlfriend left it at my house before she fucked off to another city
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:iconneurotype:
neurotype Featured By Owner Dec 1, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Ooh.
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:iconmattyohh:
Mattyohh Featured By Owner Dec 1, 2012
drama!
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:icongogo-t-w:
GoGo-T-W Featured By Owner Nov 30, 2012   Traditional Artist
Nice.
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:icondj0hybrid:
DJ0Hybrid Featured By Owner Nov 30, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Stay safe.
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:iconmattyohh:
Mattyohh Featured By Owner Nov 30, 2012
NO I'LL LIVE DANGEROUSLY
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:iconpinkmitten:
Pinkmitten Featured By Owner Nov 30, 2012
Poop?
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:iconmattyohh:
Mattyohh Featured By Owner Nov 30, 2012
Good idea. I'll poo on everything
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:icondezenerate:
Dezenerate Featured By Owner Nov 30, 2012
Being on tables is cool as h*ck, I dunno what you're talking about.
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:iconmattyohh:
Mattyohh Featured By Owner Nov 30, 2012
I know nothing and everything
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:iconwitwitch:
witwitch Featured By Owner Nov 30, 2012  Student Writer
Heck isn't a dirty word. It isn't even a real word; it is already a censored version of "Hell."
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:iconknightofbreath:
KnightOfBreath Featured By Owner Nov 30, 2012
Heck is actually a place of its own, if memory serves. There's heaven, hell, and heck. Heck is the place you go if you don't believe in God, but you haven't necessarily done anything bad enough to deserve going to hell. But I can totally be mistaken, too.
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:icondivine--apathia:
divine--apathia Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2012  Hobbyist Photographer
Nope.
There is:
Heaven = good people
Limbo = Unbaptized babies
Purgatory = a temporary place for sinners who aren't bad enough for hell
Hell = bad people
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:iconwitwitch:
witwitch Featured By Owner Nov 30, 2012  Student Writer
I've never heard of this before. I've always just heard Heck used by schoolchildren who want to say Hell but don't want to get in trouble for cussing.
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:iconknightofbreath:
KnightOfBreath Featured By Owner Nov 30, 2012
I'll have to consult with my grandmother about it. But I know that there is a third world, and the description is correct, as well. Heck could be totally unrelated. But I know the other information is correct.
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:iconwitwitch:
witwitch Featured By Owner Nov 30, 2012  Student Writer
I believe you are thinking of Purgatory, which is not called Heck.
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:iconknightofbreath:
KnightOfBreath Featured By Owner Nov 30, 2012
I don't recall purgatory being in the bible. I know that what I'm referring to is, in fact, in there. I just can't remember for the life of me. :C
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:iconrandomrobskii:
RandomRobskii Featured By Owner Nov 30, 2012  Student Filmographer
[link]

Eh, I always thought purgatory was in it. I think they just didn't have the name for it back in the day.
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:iconwitwitch:
witwitch Featured By Owner Nov 30, 2012  Student Writer
[link]

"a mild exclamation of surprise, irritation, etc.
[euphemistic for hell]"
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:icondezenerate:
Dezenerate Featured By Owner Nov 30, 2012
It's a real word, and you're an asswhole for disregarding the beauty of langauge.
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:iconwitwitch:
witwitch Featured By Owner Nov 30, 2012  Student Writer
It is spelled asshole, not asswhole.
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:icondezenerate:
Dezenerate Featured By Owner Nov 30, 2012
Do not tell me how to spell words that are already correct, ever again, troll.
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:iconwitwitch:
witwitch Featured By Owner Nov 30, 2012  Student Writer
If you use Firefox, you would see that it is indeed spelled asshole.
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:icondezenerate:
Dezenerate Featured By Owner Nov 30, 2012
It's indeed spelled "asswhole" and you need to get out :| This is a serious forum.
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:iconwitwitch:
witwitch Featured By Owner Nov 30, 2012  Student Writer
"Asshole" is a compound word consisting of "ass" + "hole". If it was "asswhole" it would mean "the whole ass" rather than "the hole of the ass."
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(1 Reply)
:iconlegendarysuperman:
LegendarySuperman Featured By Owner Nov 30, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Did you just censor the word "heck"? :slow:
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:icondezenerate:
Dezenerate Featured By Owner Nov 30, 2012
What the fuc* is it to you, dips*it?!?
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:iconlegendarysuperman:
LegendarySuperman Featured By Owner Nov 30, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
:iconnotsureifseriousplz:






:lol:
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:iconwalkingren:
WalkingRen Featured By Owner Nov 30, 2012
Title decimal and complaint decimal do not match, thus this complaint is rendered invalid...

So what sort of art median do you use (digital, traditional, sculpture, martial, culinary, sleep etc) ?
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:iconlobosabio:
LoboSabio Featured By Owner Dec 1, 2012
The one with the little button that makes a bright light when you press it.
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:iconwalkingren:
WalkingRen Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2012
:iconlegaspplz:, the god switch =P
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:iconmattyohh:
Mattyohh Featured By Owner Nov 30, 2012
Post-archaic
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