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November 27, 2012
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Replies: 132
:iconsvataben:
Svataben Featured By Owner Nov 27, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
:icontrollfaceplz:
No, it's just the title that cunter.

The thread is actually a real enough complaint.
It's not just men that do this either, nor do men always do this, but wouldn't that make a boring thread title?




Anyway:
I was discussing in the comments of a Huff blog. The topic was rape, and there was a specific location to where it happened.
The woman writing the blog was a wedding planner, who had often experienced, and seen her female staff expeerience, varying degrees of sexual harassment. The latest incident was a very horrid attack on a staff member.

In comes a male commenter, saying that the area it happened in did not have problems with sexual harassment, and it was safe to walk the streets there (which, you know, was kind of a bold statement, since the blog depicted a horrible sexual attack on those very streets.)

I reply, that
1. All countries, even those ranked as best for women, have instances of rape etc. No place was completely free from that.
2. Since he (the commenter James) was a man, he might not have had the experiences that women have while walking the street.
3. That his lack of these experiences do not invalidate the experiences of others.

That, apparently, was bigoted and sexist and horrible, and apparently I said that no men can understand anything that happens to women.
I thought I had pointed out one fact, tentatively stated that different people have different experiences, and reminded him that just because sexual harassment has never happened to him doesn't determine whether or not they happen to others. But I guess not...

Now, this could have been on any other topic, and the idiot been a woman, but this was the latest example, and I felt like complaining.

Why don't people:
- FUCKING READ WHAT IS WRITTEN? When people use qualifiers like 'might', 'some', 'could', etc., they are doing so for a reason! Ignoring these qualifiers, they're ignoring the intended message, ffs.
- STOP THINKING THAT THEIR OWN EXPERIENCES DETERMINE THE EXPERIENCES OTHERS HAVE? Again, to anyone who might think so: You are not the centre of the universe. Just because you haven't seen/don't understand/don't like something, doesn't automatically make it non-existent/invalid/wrong.


Tl;dr: My panties are all bunched. Again.
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Devious Comments

:icongman313:
GMan313 Featured By Owner Nov 29, 2012
>Looks at all of the bolded words and odd post format

>Scared

>Goes to TL;DR

Oh ok. :|
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:iconsvataben:
Svataben Featured By Owner Nov 29, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
I might as well be honest. :lol:
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:iconsapphire-ashesx:
Sapphire-Ashesx Featured By Owner Nov 29, 2012
The main issues are that people hate reading and that people want the world to revolve around them.
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:iconsvataben:
Svataben Featured By Owner Nov 29, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
So true.
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:iconsapphire-ashesx:
Sapphire-Ashesx Featured By Owner Nov 29, 2012
:nod:
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:icon0rg:
0rg Featured By Owner Nov 29, 2012
huffington post, there's your problem
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:iconsvataben:
Svataben Featured By Owner Nov 29, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
I dunno, I tend to find a nice amount of sensible people in the comments there usually.
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:iconash-ketchum09:
ash-ketchum09 Featured By Owner Nov 29, 2012  Student Digital Artist
I hate when people ignore qualifiers. Maybe they're massive cunts?
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:iconsvataben:
Svataben Featured By Owner Nov 29, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
I think that's a valid guess! :lol:
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:iconyaotl:
yaotl Featured By Owner Nov 28, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
See? Men are really the root of all troubles. I mean, all of our aches and pains start with men! That's why it's called "menstruation"!

And while we're at it, do you know why we say "semester"? Because men can't keep their filthy semen off of us! They are gross, disgusting and smelly! Every war was started by a man! EVERY SINGLE ONE! No woman ruler was ever cruel! None! (Who's Bloody Mary? What?)

Also, mancooties! :ohnoes:
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:iconsvataben:
Svataben Featured By Owner Nov 28, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
:lol:

But I like the penis.
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:iconyaotl:
yaotl Featured By Owner Nov 28, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Pft! You can get one of those at a store, and the batteries last longer :nod:
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:iconsvataben:
Svataben Featured By Owner Nov 28, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
And they vibrate!
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:iconyaotl:
yaotl Featured By Owner Nov 28, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Exactly! :lol:
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:iconorangekrissy:
OrangeKrissy Featured By Owner Nov 28, 2012
I think he was the perpetrator and just wanted you to feel safe so he would have another chance at you.
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:iconsvataben:
Svataben Featured By Owner Nov 28, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
I think you're an idiot. :lol:
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:iconorangekrissy:
OrangeKrissy Featured By Owner Nov 28, 2012
Opinions vary, but I'm not the one crying about men.
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:iconthe-uglytruth:
The-UglyTruth Featured By Owner Nov 27, 2012
:iconzoidbergplz: :iconsaysplz: Us men are bad, and we should feel bad.


But in all seriousness, the guy should have realized that he couldn't possibly know what happens every second of every day in his area. To say otherwise is simply asinine.

On a (very-slightly) related note, I am sick of this 'Us versus Them' mentality that has a chokehold on every single equal rights movement out there. It's all 'men versus women', 'minorities versus majorities', and 'gays versus straights'. Why don't we just toss off those silly shackling identifiers and make a unified front as humans who are against oppression (, and the enemy is ignorance and intolerance. That's what it boils down to.

I'm sick of crazies from every side saying things like 'you should hate yourself because you are ____'. In a more recent case, I have been actively supporting the #1reasonwhy movement on twitter (wooo...) and had a few feminists stating that 'men' are the problem. Men need to change their perspective. A few even went so far as to say 'all men should die'.

I say no. Idiots are the problem, and idiots need to change their perpective. The culture we are taught is the problem, and how we set stereotypes is the problem. The particular idiots in this case happen to be men. Are all men bigoted assholes? No. Are all feminists psychotic and over zealous? Of course not. I'm just seeing too many extreme views being battled by matching views that are just as ridiculous.

The fight fire with fire bullshit needs to end. Rant over, hopefully I didn't misrepresent anybody.
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:iconyaotl:
yaotl Featured By Owner Nov 28, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
"Men are the problem"? Do they not realize that females also internalize paternalistic ideas and even reinforce them on one another?

That's why I like items that express how equality benefits everyone: for example, how when you treat women with the dignity and respect you pay to her fellow males, you have a better relationship with another human being.
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:iconthe-uglytruth:
The-UglyTruth Featured By Owner Nov 29, 2012
Thats an interesting point, for sure. I feel like they might gloss over that in order to present a 'unified' front.

I agree, and the weirdest part to me is that there is little plus side to putting people into categorized levels of respect. Its still around because its just 'The way it is.' What was pushed in the past no longer holds bearing, yet everyone holds on to it anyways.
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:iconsvataben:
Svataben Featured By Owner Nov 27, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
I agree so much!
There is no point to hating all of one gender/ethnicity/colour/whatever, and it's not constructive.

I think one of the main problems is, that the cultural move happening as far as tolerance and equality, both for women and other groups is, on a world wide scale, new.
And it takes so long to make these fundamental culture shifts.

Not to mention the fact, that even if the historically dominant wants to do better (let's pick men for this example :lol: ), many have some ugly realizations to make; realizations about how their mothers might not have been so happy to serve and make happy the rest of the family, realizations that their fathers might not have been/aren't the loving husbands and good men towards their mothers.
Ugly realizations about people they love and themselves, and such realizations hurt.

Or let's take it a few steps further: Slavery in the US.
Can't be very great to have to admit that your happy childhood was based on the pain and abuse of others, and admitting, even to yourself, that slavery is wrong, meant that many southerners had to have that realization.
And later, the same type about the help. The coloured help, that were little more than slightly paid slaves, and not considered equals at all. I think it must be so hard to realize that your loving mother was a horrible employer who took gross advantage of the help and might even have been directly callous and cruel.
I can understand why some protested so hard, even in the face of overwhelming evidence - not because they were evil or didn't care, but because the truth really did hurt so much.

I know it still pisses me off greatly, when I see examples of my mother expecting more around the house from me than my brother - we're both adult and moved out, but every holiday it comes up, even though my household wasn't very bad.
It's just stuff like mum jumping around, getting him cups of coffee while he lounges on the couch. And the fact that he expects it, and doesn't even see how sweet she's being. And the worst: When I make a remark about it, HE realizes but SHE tries to deny it. Even when he says "Mum, seriously, it's true." she'll go on acting like there's nothing different in the way she treats us.
Hell, in every aspect of our upbringing there's been a difference. With him, her attitude was always that he could do anything he set his mind to, with me every initiative was always met with "BE CAREFUL!", which I think might have made me rather more timid than I would otherwise have been. It makes me think about how he has made some bold career moves and is now travelling the world, while I never dared.
I dunno, but it hurts me to think that those old-time gender roles might have profoundly shaped my life and decisions, even though no-one consciously intended it.
And my mother is doing much better than hers did.

But back to the point: No, it shouldn't be a matter of them versus us. It makes me happy and hopeful when, for instance, my brother is open to some things. That he does get off his ass, when reminded.
And there are lots of old-time dominant groups that are like that, just needing a bit of info, not at all unwilling to be equal and fair. There's no point in yelling at and scolding those like him. (The Todd Akins of the world, on the other hand...)


Tl;dr: I can haz a soap box! :lol:
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:iconthe-uglytruth:
The-UglyTruth Featured By Owner Nov 28, 2012
You raise an excellent point: who wants to realize they are the 'bad guy'? What sort of incentive would have to be put in place to push an extremely bias person to accept that their viewpoint is wrong?

I think it will be a slow process throughout the generations, as the world is re-educated. The question is, what will they teach? Will the scales have overturned and suddenly the victors of the past are the victims of the future? Is that justice? I don't know.

As for your story, it shows that there is still a fair ways to go, but there is hope. Your brother is learning and starting to get the concept. Unfortunately that's not always the case, but we can hope that the future will change that for the better. Those gender roles are slowly, ever so slowly, getting redefined. It's such an arduous process, and there are a lot of people holding it back, but we are getting there.

I think that this quote by Dennis Leary (of all people) is actually quite revealing:
"Racism isn't born, folks, it's taught. I have a two-year-old son. You know what he hates? Naps! End of list."

Tl;dr: I too, haz a soap box.
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:iconsvataben:
Svataben Featured By Owner Nov 28, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Like you, I think the change will mostly be gradual - each generation doing a little better, some groups lagging behind, some being frontrunners.

All we can do is push for tolerance and equality, where it makes sense to do so, and make laws after it so the next generations grow up with those laws as their foundation.
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:iconthe-uglytruth:
The-UglyTruth Featured By Owner Nov 29, 2012
Exactly! :la:

You'd best clone yourself svat, the world needs more like minded people.
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:iconsvataben:
Svataben Featured By Owner Nov 29, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
I think that's possibly one of the sweetest things I've ever been told. :iconspreadmoreloveplz:
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:iconpinkmitten:
Pinkmitten Featured By Owner Nov 27, 2012
Find him and throw up on him.
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:iconsvataben:
Svataben Featured By Owner Nov 27, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
I will!
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:iconzodiacgal:
zodiacgal Featured By Owner Nov 27, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
I definitely agree with you 100%!
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:icondebra-marie:
Debra-Marie Featured By Owner Nov 27, 2012  Hobbyist Artisan Crafter
This is why its good to have a small can of defense spray with you on a keychain or whatever. It doesn't matter where you are, what time of day it is, if someone wants to rape you, they will find a way. Its the sad world we live in.
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:iconyaotl:
yaotl Featured By Owner Nov 28, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
In some places more than others. Maybe that's why I love dogs, but I have to admit, life became much safer when I got an attack dog (and by attack dog I mean a mighty Jack Russell :giggle:)
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:icondebra-marie:
Debra-Marie Featured By Owner Nov 29, 2012  Hobbyist Artisan Crafter
hahahahahaha. Jack russell as an attack dog... I have a rat terrier and it barks constantly. Don't know if it would be good protection though..
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:iconyaotl:
yaotl Featured By Owner Nov 29, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Watch it. The last people who made fun of my dog ran away with her nipping at their heels :paranoid:

See, my dog is very friendly, and almost everyone who sees him falls in love with him. That said, he's very protective, and I don't know what's about Jacks that they can seem very intimidating when they want to :O
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:icondebra-marie:
Debra-Marie Featured By Owner Nov 29, 2012  Hobbyist Artisan Crafter
Like chihuahuas? Those things can be evil!
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:iconyaotl:
yaotl Featured By Owner Nov 29, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
A dog is a dog is a dog! Never underestimate a dog :lol:
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:iconshininginthedarkness:
I just had a disturbing thought about skydiving. SO THANKS FOR THAT.
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:iconilovebigcats:
ILoveBigCats Featured By Owner Nov 27, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
That would be... messy.
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:icondebra-marie:
Debra-Marie Featured By Owner Nov 27, 2012  Hobbyist Artisan Crafter
XD you're welcome?
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:iconcrazylittleloon:
Crazylittleloon Featured By Owner Nov 27, 2012  Student Writer
You should invest in an iron.


So you can burn their faces off. :nod:
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:iconsvataben:
Svataben Featured By Owner Nov 27, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
That is some damn fine advice! :lol:
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:iconcrazylittleloon:
Crazylittleloon Featured By Owner Nov 27, 2012  Student Writer
:bow:
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:iconpsowill:
PSOWILL Featured By Owner Nov 27, 2012
"FUCKING READ WHAT IS WRITTEN?When people use qualifiers like 'might', 'some', 'could', etc., they are doing so for a reason! Ignoring these qualifiers, they're ignoring the intended message, ffs"

Because people will read what they want to read? It's what we humans do.

" STOP THINKING THAT THEIR OWN EXPERIENCES DETERMINE THE EXPERIENCES OTHERS HAVE? Again, to anyone who might think so: You are not the centre of the universe. Just because you haven't seen/don't understand/don't like something, doesn't automatically make it non-existent/invalid/wrong."

Oh god you have no idea how much I agree with you on this point. I really hate it when people bring their families into A conversation trying to make their point stronger when they really have no business being there in the first place.
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:iconsvataben:
Svataben Featured By Owner Nov 27, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
:nod:
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:iconlovebehr:
lovebehr Featured By Owner Nov 27, 2012
Spit on him. :dummy:
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:iconk-koji:
K-Koji Featured By Owner Nov 27, 2012
you should have told him to stop mansplainin' what it's like to be a woman in this world, and what it takes for a woman to protect oneself and feel safe. Then you could have sent him on a 45 minute google trip ( possibly more) as he'd then become insulted that such a term exists and then get into interwebz debates, to mansplain' sexism to everyone else lol.

of course, the term exists for a very good reason, but he sounds like the exact type to be enraged by it... lol
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:iconsvataben:
Svataben Featured By Owner Nov 27, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
:lol:
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:iconpenhuin:
Penhuin Featured By Owner Nov 27, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Story of my life.

Sometimes I go tell my story to younger people (the scary teenagers) about my experiences with rape, and usually I get the "But it's just sex" bomb. It pisses me off.
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:iconyaotl:
yaotl Featured By Owner Nov 28, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Sure, and a bat is just a bat, until I smash someone on the head with it :O
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:iconpinkmitten:
Pinkmitten Featured By Owner Nov 27, 2012
"but it's just sex"?
...:lol: Really?
Are they ugly and desperate teenagers or something?
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:iconpenhuin:
Penhuin Featured By Owner Nov 27, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Quite possibly. I didn't think to ask :paranoid:
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:iconarvellas:
Arvellas Featured By Owner Nov 27, 2012
The stupid...it hurts.
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