Someone slipped a "crazy" magnet in my pocket when I wasn't looking.


Wikidtron's avatar
I'm pretty used to dealing with insane people. Both poor dating choices and working in a tattoo shop has brought me into very close proximity with very, very many of them.

However, there's either something in the air this week, or I'm unconsciously doing something to attract them... or well, maybe I'm just taking the bus a lot more often because it's winter.

A few good quotes from this weeks encounters;

"You have a golden halo surrounding you, I can't believe it, you're very special and I have an important note for you." -pulls from his pocket a greasy napkin piece with a bunch of random numbers written on it- "Take this! You will know what it means when the time comes. Yes... you WILL know. You're one of them. They told me it would happen... they told me... told me.... told me... -continues to quietly ramble and rock back and forth-"

Crazy woman number one was... sad. She complimented my skirt, casually, with no warning of the sudden tide of sorrow that was about to be unleashed, as she quickly went on to say it reminded her of her cousin who had just died. She proceeded to tell me a horribly gruesome story of a drunk boyfriend leaving her to slowly bleed to death, then, as she became more and more emotional, continued on with stories of her dead husband and hungry children until I had to get off the bus.

The second crazy woman was simply violent. I heard from behind me a snickering, which erupted into a cackle. She had been watching me chat on the phone with a friend. "Look at that skinny bitch. Look at her smile. YEAH YOU FUCKING KEEP SMILING YOU CUNT. DO YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENS? FUCKING SHIT. YOU'RE GONNA GET FUCKED IN THE ASS. God look at her. Look at her with her red hair she's just smiling GODDAMN IT YOU LITTLE BITCH IT'S GONNA GET YOU!

I had to stifle laughter on that one.

Another man on the bus felt it necessary to calmly inform me of the dangers of ever trusting anyone, as your best friend would stab you in the back to steal your TV.

Lastly, this guy who has been stalking my facebook started sending me blank messages with links to torture porn.

I think I've been hexed...
Comments66
Join the community to add your comment. Already a deviant? Log In
Stardust-Supernova's avatar
O______________O................ wtf hahahahaahahahahahahahahahhahahahaha ty that made my morning.
SmileyVizard's avatar
O_____O
.
.
.
.
.
THAT'S FRICKIN' CREEPY.
Wikidtron's avatar
I know right? Makes me glad I carry a sharp knife.
SmileyVizard's avatar
Hell yeah. You're smart. O_____O
TattooSavage's avatar
Wow, I know how you feel. I work in a social housing office alone, and I get my fair share of weirdos...I particularly like when they ask me 'you work alone in here?' LOL
Wikidtron's avatar
Might be a good idea to invest in a gun :B

We're gonna get one to keep behind the front desk at the tattoo studio...
MelodyMoose's avatar
My local gas station had some weirdos. Once I saw a guy leave the gas station bathroom and start making gesture at nothing. Another time, this lady was standing near the road and yelling at random cars. I have not returned to that station.
qwepoirtqoewiutyoqwe's avatar
There's aaaaaacid in the aaaaaair :dummy:
Wikidtron's avatar
There's aaaaaacid everywheeeeeere :P
Kizziesama's avatar
Must be something in the water where you live :lol:
Wikidtron's avatar
Eh, people seem to have an easy enough time dosing themselves into oblivion by self-administering their OWN drugs...
kitsumekat's avatar
I wondered who stole where my crazy magnet ran off to...
Wikidtron's avatar
You can have it back, I live around enough of them without one. I already hang out with the local circus freaks.
Patt-Ytto's avatar
Today i read the first sentence of a complaint. Progress!
SomeNavySEALs's avatar
I was expecting someone had put a strong magnet in the OP's pocket and this would be a complaint about a ruined cellphone or something...

I take things far too literally sometimes >_>
Wikidtron's avatar
At least you didn't read halfway through the post and still think that was the case.

Like SOME people... :P
theleaveshaveeyes's avatar
Once I was sitting at a bus stop outside of a hospital, smoking a cigarette, and there was this chick who was walking around talking to her "mother" (her mom was not there...) she looked quite dishevled. She was saying all kinds of rude things about me. Then she turned around and asked me for a cigarette. :iconstaresplz:
gvcspecks's avatar
have you tried a shotgun?
Wikidtron's avatar
I'd like to, but the men in blue kinda frown upon people trying to do their jobs for them.
gvcspecks's avatar
only if you get caught.
Wikidtron's avatar
Yeah, because shotguns are REALLY subtle. :roll:
gvcspecks's avatar
especially when you use them like a club.