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November 13, 2012
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I should have just stayed in bed this morning.

:iconjzlobo:
JZLobo Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
What an absolutely freaking INSANE day. MY aunt texts me several times this morning asking me to come over and take care of something. I take the bus there... and she's not even around, she was in the side of town I came from. She didn't even think to pick me up.

Her boyfriend (who previews readers will know I refer to as "The Shmuck") noticed that one of the rims on her car doesn't match so we went ALL over town looking for new ones. Of course, he isn't paying, and he sat out in the car while we went in to talk to people. Because he's an anal looser with nothing else better to do with his pathetic life of leaching off people.

We get back after a few hours of doing this, and the car goes out. She calls AAA and they send a guy out. He's late. The Shmuck gets jealous of how nice she is to the AAA guy, and tells the AAA guy they're married, which they aren't. She tells him not to lie. He gets pissed off at her. They have a shouting match on our way out. She takes me to Walmart to help her pick up something, and he texts her and says he's running away back to Texas.

So we RUSH back to her place, while she's fiddling with her stupid new phone trying to call him, and driving like a maniac and nearly veering off the street a couple times. At this point I realize I should have just taken the damn bus home. So I wait out in the car while she convinced him not to leave. Unfortunately, she was successful.

tl;dr: If she wasn't before, my aunt is now officially trailer trash.
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Devious Comments

:iconjessicaann87:
JessicaAnn87 Featured By Owner Nov 16, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
why is she staying with that guy if hes so bad?
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:iconjzlobo:
JZLobo Featured By Owner Nov 16, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Because she's worse.
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:iconsangrde:
Sangrde Featured By Owner Nov 16, 2012  Professional Digital Artist
I hope your life get better.. Somehow xD;; I only can say that.

By the way, what an Anal looser :iconlololplz: hahhah best part
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:iconjzlobo:
JZLobo Featured By Owner Nov 16, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks, appreciate the thought.
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:iconthe-golden-knight:
The-Golden-Knight Featured By Owner Nov 15, 2012
Oh God, there are too many idiots and assholes out there. I would be lying if I said it wasn't common, which is why I never seriously kissed till 20; and it's also why so many relationships fail nowadays. I hope you can resolve your issues or find people who can. I'm sorry I can't do anything all the way God knows how many miles away. :wave:
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:iconjoeyliverwurst:
JoeyLiverwurst Featured By Owner Nov 15, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
I don't want confirmation of what she sees in him.
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:iconjzlobo:
JZLobo Featured By Owner Nov 15, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
They're both in their late 50s and desperate.
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:iconjoeyliverwurst:
JoeyLiverwurst Featured By Owner Nov 15, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Is "hyperdesperate" a word yet?
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:iconjzlobo:
JZLobo Featured By Owner Nov 15, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
As far as I'm concerned, it is now.
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:iconkitsumekat:
kitsumekat Featured By Owner Nov 14, 2012
Weakling. You had the opportunity to cuss them both out.
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:iconphoenixleo:
phoenixleo Featured By Owner Nov 14, 2012
:pat:

emotional manipulator :no:
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:iconjzlobo:
JZLobo Featured By Owner Nov 14, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Definitely, that was blackmail.
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:iconkendrubbin:
Kendrubbin Featured By Owner Nov 14, 2012  Student Photographer
"Because he's an anal looser"

Best part.
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:iconsiantjudas:
siantjudas Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2012   Digital Artist
Should've taught you a lesson jackassssssss.
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:iconezri-krios:
Ezri-Krios Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
:rofl:

Sorry, I shouldn't laugh. The Schmuck will leave eventually, they always do. Cue heartbroken aunt who doesn't know how to live with someone no longer around to control her, and your frustration of having to wait until she realises she really is better off without him.
Good luck with that!
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:iconjzlobo:
JZLobo Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
I was hoping he'd leave today.
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:iconezri-krios:
Ezri-Krios Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Unless you're willing to chase him out with a chainsaw, or hack a hole in the door and poke your head through, announcing, "Here's Johnny!" You may be stuck with him a while yet. :p
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:iconjzlobo:
JZLobo Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Yes, vermin can be difficult to get rid of.
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:iconezri-krios:
Ezri-Krios Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Normally I wouldn't suggest poison, it's not very humane, but in this case... ;-)
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:iconaeirmid:
Aeirmid Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2012   Digital Artist
:hug:
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:iconjzlobo:
JZLobo Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks Jade.
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:icondoctorowl:
DoctorOWL Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2012
I read this complaint calling AAA guy "triple A battery guy" and it was a lot more interesting.
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:iconjzlobo:
JZLobo Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Ironically, we thought it was her car battery going out.
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:iconnephenee:
Nephenee Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2012
And next week on "Days of Our Lives"...
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:iconajglass:
AJGlass Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2012  Professional Artisan Crafter
And next week on "Days of Our Lives"...

     ...Shirly tells Billy that the baby is his, and Billy tells Shirly that he's really a Sasquatch.

          :deviator: Tune in today and watch the fur hit the fan!
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:iconjzlobo:
JZLobo Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks, I needed a laugh tonight.
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:iconajglass:
AJGlass Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2012  Professional Artisan Crafter
Just wait until you see what the baby looks like. :lol:
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:icontotally-dead:
Totally-dead Featured By Owner Nov 14, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
... Why am I expecting Hagrid?
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:iconajglass:
AJGlass Featured By Owner Nov 14, 2012  Professional Artisan Crafter
        Are you my daddy?
:iconhagridplz:


        I'd prefer not to answer that.
:iconsasquatchplz:


        He's our love child and you know it!
:iconchewbaccaplz:
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:icontotally-dead:
Totally-dead Featured By Owner Nov 14, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Remarkably human looking for those 2...
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:iconajglass:
AJGlass Featured By Owner Nov 14, 2012  Professional Artisan Crafter
You'll have to wait for season two to learn who the real father actually is.

     ...and who in this bunch is really female. :paranoid:
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(2 Replies)
:iconnephenee:
Nephenee Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2012
Which is a surprise for Mary Jay, as she has never told Shirly that she used to be a Sasquatch as well until she got her species changed
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:iconajglass:
AJGlass Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2012  Professional Artisan Crafter
No doubt this species change will also come as a surprise to Burta, who just had a sex change and now prefers to be called Burrito. Others will simply call him - "The Spicy Mexican".

Which not so ironically will also come to be the name of the STD they all share.



              Oh ouch!
          :O
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:iconnephenee:
Nephenee Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2012
Which happens to be the subject of desperate research by Doctor Salamencia Rodriguez, who lost her parents and her ex-lover to this disease. Meanwhile, Ace Reporter Bobbi Mike has been trying to track down the secret identity of "The Spicy Mexican" while sharing the bed with Burrito's evil twin brother, Chalupa.

DUN DUN DUNNN... :eager:
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:iconajglass:
AJGlass Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2012  Professional Artisan Crafter
It's too bad that none of the real soap operas are ever this interesting. :lol:
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:iconnephenee:
Nephenee Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2012
I know. :giggle:
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:iconjzlobo:
JZLobo Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
It's more like The Old and the Restless.
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:iconnephenee:
Nephenee Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2012
That sounds more like a Clint Eastwood movie
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:icondoctorowl:
DoctorOWL Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2012
:lol:
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:iconnephenee:
Nephenee Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2012
Arturo is in love with Geraldine, but doesn't know it because Sabrina secretly doused him in Love Potion Number Nine, causing him to veer off a bridge and into the lake, hitting a water skier and then ending up in a coma. Meanwhile, Bryce has been arrested for prostitution after propositioning Claudia, the undercover cop who is Reginald and Terra's love child.
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:icongogo-t-w:
GoGo-T-W Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2012   Traditional Artist
I totally read that with a Spanish accent.
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:iconnephenee:
Nephenee Featured By Owner Nov 14, 2012
I am just that good. :iconbadassplz:
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:icondoctorowl:
DoctorOWL Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2012
BUT THEN THEY ALL DIED
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:iconnephenee:
Nephenee Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2012
NO, THAT'S ON UNIVERSAL HOSPITAL
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:icondoctorowl:
DoctorOWL Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2012
I JUST CAN'T KEEP ALL THESE SOAP OPERAS STRAIGHT ANYMORE

especially with the gay ones
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:iconnephenee:
Nephenee Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2012
THEY ARE ALL THE SAME EVERYONE IS/WANTS TO SLEEP WITH EVERYBODY ELSE AND ALL ARE ON DRUGS

:(
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:icondoctorowl:
DoctorOWL Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2012
FELICITY HEARTTHROB ISN'T ON DRUGS

SHE JUST CAN'T FIND HER BABBY DADDY

BECAUSE HE'S DEAD

AND HER COUSIN
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(1 Reply)
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