Abortion is a touchy subject. I think that people on both sides tend to reduce the matter to sound bites and platitudes, forgetting that there are real people with real lives involved. The hot-button syndrome is a symptom of a refusal to think, in my opinion. No one wants to put themselves in the shoes of another person, each with their own unique set of experiences and patterns of thinking, each one as valuable as the next, and try to figure out if they'd have the same opinion as they do being the person that they are. Thinking is hard. And most people get more of a kick out of saying how much better they are for being on their side than considering why someone else might disagree.
Although I don't agree with the abortions=bad thing, an amazing quote comes to mind!
"It's now very common to hear people say, "I'm rather offended by that", as if that gives them certain rights. It's no more than a whine. It has no meaning, it has no purpose, it has no reason to be respected as a phrase. "I'm offended by that." Well, so fucking what?' —Stephen Fry
But telling her that you think abortion is not right, wasn't really a good idea either. First, she shouldn't have asked this question, it's none of her business. You could have refuse to answer, or at least, say that you didn't because you wanted to keep your baby; which is a much better reason to keep a baby than "because it's not right". Just a bad choice of words I suppose.
Anyway, that woman is crazy and she clearly doesn't know what feminism is about. You can't ask people to abort, it's ridiculous!
I'd tell her it's none of her Goddamn business why I didn't have an abortion. Personally, I wouldn't have one but I'm not interested in restricting it for other women. I believe in cutting down the number of abortions through helping women care for unexpected babies, adoption system reform, better sex ed and easier access to birth control other than regulating abortion because it's 'evil.'
Personally, I'm pro choice! If somebody really, really needs an abortion, then sure, go for it, it's your right! But when young teenagers go around, having unprotected sex, get pregnant, and use abortion as a contraception, then it's wrong. Personally, I think abortion should be used in extreme cases, such as rape, financial situations, etc. Personally, if I ended up pregnant now, I would have an abortion myself, since I'm only nineteen, am in the middle of a degree, can barely look after myself, it wouldn't be fair, etc. But some people have no right to have that right, if that makes sense? When people literally do just go and have sex, unaware and not caring about the consequences. To be fair though, the fact that the woman seemed to think that you should have had an abortion anyway... seems a little... odd? It's like, yeah, financial hard times is quite common when a couple first have a child, but it gets better! Some situations call for an abortion, but... I don't understand why she asked you like that. Seems very rude to me. Each to their own!
Some people think it's selfish to bring a child into the world knowing you don't have enough resources to take care of them (maybe you do have enough - I'm not sure, but based on what you said, one might assume you don't). I must admit that I'm of the same opinion, but I think it's inappropriate to do what she did... Plus, "I would never have an abortion" doesn't mean, "No one should ever have abortions".
^^^ i'm one of those people. recources and overpopulation are a serious issuse. What isn't right is bringing a child into the world that will likely starve to death. so, to kaijo, if you could see the future and your husband lost his job and you had no money, and food stamps didn't exist, and starvation set in, leavin in a dark alley with come hobo's you might go back in time and change your mind, to spare your child a slow death. anyways, never say never.
In the first place she asked you why you did not abort the baby. WTH?. In the first place she put her nose in something that is not her damn business, and when she hears a reply she does not like, she blows up...
Maybe is true and you should not have said that you think abortion in not right and instead, say that a bortion is not right for you. Ok, but she made a mistake asking you that question from starters.
I think she jumped to a conclusion that is common... and made an assumption she shouldn't have (you know what they say about assuming: makes an ass of you and me ). If she's all pro-choice as her "input" suggests, then she should respect the choice for a mother to disagree with her. Two way street there.
While she definitely did NOT need to blow up? I can see why she did.
This is why I have a problem with people who always feel the need to state that they would NEVER get an abortion before declaring themselves pro-choice. When you say it like this, it sounds as if you think abortion is wrong and, what’s more, that anyone who has gotten one made the wrong decision because even though you’ve probably never been in a situation where you’d need to consider an abortion you feel confident enough in saying what you’re sure you wouldn’t do it.
When you say it like that it comes off as if you’re trying to include yourself in a group that you secretly are ashamed for being a part of. Feeling the need to state that you are pro-choice but that you would also never get an abortion only feeds the stereotypes about pro-choicers; that being pro-choice is something that is inherently shameful or wrong and that everyone who identifies as such gets abortions frivolously and oh by the way YOU aren’t like THAT because you would NEVER get an abortion….even though you’ve never been in a position to need one, yet.
You’re attempting to separate yourself into a more favorable light while attempting to align yourself with a group that is not always seen as favorable.
It’s like people who claim to be feminists but they aren’t like those other feminists. They shave their armpits and they like men!
“I’m pro-choice but I would never get an abortion ” is the same as saying, “I’m a feminist but, don’t worry, I don’t hate men!”
If I was in your situation I would've chewed their ass off as soon as they mentioned I should've aborted my child. It's just not nice to tell someone they should've made an abortion, after they've had the baby.
There's a Zen koan about two travelling monks who vowed never to touch a woman. As they arrived at a stream, they have found a woman there, trying to cross. The older monk carried her across on his back. Later that day, the younger monk asked: "Why did you carry that woman?" and the other asked back: "Why do you still carry her?"
The issue she's been so hung up on was something that happened months ago. She felt so offended because of my beliefs that ever since then she's trying to troll me in random topics with it.
Also, I think that rigidly protecting an idea against the ideas of others, is more proof of oversensitivity than having the humility to question the legitimity of one's own beliefs.
I try to be as open minded as possible, and "sense", or rather "perceive" what others wish to tell, devoid of emotional attraction or repulsion. Thus, I don't adopt an idea because I "like" it, but because I find it legitimate, and when I find out that my own ideas were false, I change them accordingly, not clinging to them, despite they could be more pleasing.
Her reaction was stupid, enough said. Yeah, you could have worded it "it's not right for me", but at the end of the day saying "It isn't right" doesn't warrant her acting like a straight up cunt.
In fact, that fucking "Why didn't you have an abortion" comment was fucking ridiculous. Like holy shit. It's none of her business. That has nothing to do with being a liberal. That has to do with her being an idiot.