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November 5, 2012
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Replies: 86

Either talk about less disgusting things or learn to talk about them QUIETLY.

:iconvi0letdreamer:
vi0letdreamer Featured By Owner Nov 5, 2012  Student Photographer
Mother, do you really have to talk so goddamn LOUD? No, I do not want to hear your phone conversation about athlete’s foot. I even have my door closed and music playing and I can still hear her!

Teal deer; I need soundproof walls.

Anti-complaint: I just finished my literary analysis paper.

Hijack: So how was everyone's weekend?
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Devious Comments

:iconsapphire-ashesx:
Sapphire-Ashesx Featured By Owner Nov 8, 2012
My Mom does this all the time! Even when I have friends over. :nuu:
Nobody is safe from her telling everybody about the family's health.
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:icondevilkid-chan:
DevilKid-chan Featured By Owner Nov 7, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
>.<
You poor thing. I think the worst I've ever ended up discussing with my parents was "the talk". :XD:
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:iconbohobella:
bohobella Featured By Owner Nov 7, 2012  Professional Traditional Artist
Wow. I wish my mother talked about athlete's foot. Just the other week she bumped into my teenage sister and her friends on the bus and told them about her doctor surprising her with a vaginal probe, how they left the room for five minutes and left it in her, and if she should tip her doctor for fucking her.

I had already heard this story. She also told me the story of the day she discovered she has gray pubes twice. I could go on. But I really don't want to.
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:iconwinged-ego:
Winged-Ego Featured By Owner Nov 6, 2012  Student Traditional Artist
My mom told me I was born a boy because "she was on top" that time.

My dad tells me about how cognac gives him the squirts.


Obviously I win the parent grossness contest. :strong:
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:iconatlantech:
Atlantech Featured By Owner Nov 6, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
psssh, it's not like shes talking about a yeast infection
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:iconshininginthedarkness:
shininginthedarkness Featured By Owner Nov 6, 2012
Of all the places your mom could have a fungal infection, the feet REALLY aren't the worst.
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:icon3wyl:
3wyl Featured By Owner Nov 6, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
What is your analysis on?
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:iconvi0letdreamer:
vi0letdreamer Featured By Owner Nov 6, 2012  Student Photographer
The Fall of the House of Usher
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:icon3wyl:
3wyl Featured By Owner Nov 7, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Sounds intense. :O
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:iconsoda-with-cyanide:
soda-with-cyanide Featured By Owner Nov 6, 2012  Student General Artist
At least you don't have an adults potty in your bedroom. :stare:
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:iconvi0letdreamer:
vi0letdreamer Featured By Owner Nov 6, 2012  Student Photographer
Do you?
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:iconsoda-with-cyanide:
soda-with-cyanide Featured By Owner Nov 6, 2012  Student General Artist
Long story, basically my grandmother and share the same rook cause hiring someone to take care of her is too expensive, plus she's been sick and taking her to the loo is a Hercules-worth task even for dad.
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:iconhikara-ratashi:
Hikara-Ratashi Featured By Owner Nov 6, 2012
Oh, athletes foot. That doesn't sound as bad as I thought this was going to be.

I found out my brother is not a virgin anymore while at the dinner table after my mum asked him if he uses condoms.
I've also heard my mum and dad going at it in bed.
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:iconbohobella:
bohobella Featured By Owner Nov 7, 2012  Professional Traditional Artist
I always kind of thought having brothers means assuming they're not virgins at basically all times above age 13. I've never had one, though.
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:iconsmoppet:
Smoppet Featured By Owner Nov 6, 2012
:stare: My family talks about disgusting crap, too.
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:iconpuzzledheartbox:
PuzzledHeartBox Featured By Owner Nov 5, 2012
You should turn up the music so she get's the general idea :lol:
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:iconpuzzledheartbox:
PuzzledHeartBox Featured By Owner Nov 6, 2012
gets*
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:iconnuclearjuice:
nuclearjuice Featured By Owner Nov 5, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Ffffffff- I overheard my dad talking about...THINGS.
With my brother.So much fun,ESPECIALLY with pictures.Ughhhhh...He showed me too.
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:iconmasterplanner:
MasterPlanner Featured By Owner Nov 5, 2012  Professional Artisan Crafter
My father once told me all about which actresses he likes to whack it to. :iconfearnod:
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:iconbohobella:
bohobella Featured By Owner Nov 7, 2012  Professional Traditional Artist
Oh my dad's basically done that, he proudly boasts that he's seen every celebrity porn ever leaked and that it's the only pr0nz for him.
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:iconmasterplanner:
MasterPlanner Featured By Owner Nov 7, 2012  Professional Artisan Crafter
Yeah but as close as we are, my father's sexual fantasies for Zooey Deschanel fall squarely into the category of "Did not need to know :icondonotwantplz:"
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:iconvi0letdreamer:
vi0letdreamer Featured By Owner Nov 5, 2012  Student Photographer
0.o
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:iconmasterplanner:
MasterPlanner Featured By Owner Nov 5, 2012  Professional Artisan Crafter
Apparently Zooey Deschanel is at the top of his wank list.
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:iconpuzzledheartbox:
PuzzledHeartBox Featured By Owner Nov 5, 2012
She's rather hot though :shrug:
But your dad is a bit too open :lol:
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:iconmasterplanner:
MasterPlanner Featured By Owner Nov 6, 2012  Professional Artisan Crafter
Yeah, sexual fantasies are not ordinarily something a father would want to talk about to his daughter, even if they're as close as we are :no:
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:iconpuzzledheartbox:
PuzzledHeartBox Featured By Owner Nov 6, 2012
Very much so o.o
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:iconp-ish:
P-Ish Featured By Owner Nov 5, 2012   Writer
:stare:
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:iconmasterplanner:
MasterPlanner Featured By Owner Nov 5, 2012  Professional Artisan Crafter
He then tried to get me to describe what type of men that I fap to.
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:iconpuzzledheartbox:
PuzzledHeartBox Featured By Owner Nov 5, 2012
So.. what kind of men do you fap to? :eyes:
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:iconmasterplanner:
MasterPlanner Featured By Owner Nov 6, 2012  Professional Artisan Crafter
:lol: Like I'd tell you.
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:iconpuzzledheartbox:
PuzzledHeartBox Featured By Owner Nov 6, 2012
Mr.Darcy/Dr.Who/Patrick Dempsey?
Am I close?
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:iconmasterplanner:
MasterPlanner Featured By Owner Nov 6, 2012  Professional Artisan Crafter
No
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:iconatlantech:
Atlantech Featured By Owner Nov 6, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Doctor Octopus? Alfred Molina?
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(1 Reply)
:iconpuzzledheartbox:
PuzzledHeartBox Featured By Owner Nov 6, 2012
You're more into them super muscular men oO?
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(1 Reply)
:iconquixotic-spark:
quixotic-spark Featured By Owner Nov 5, 2012  Hobbyist Artisan Crafter
At least it wasn't a loud announcement of her bowel movements while you're on the phone.
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:iconpinkmitten:
Pinkmitten Featured By Owner Nov 5, 2012
My weekend was cold and dark.
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:iconvi0letdreamer:
vi0letdreamer Featured By Owner Nov 5, 2012  Student Photographer
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:iconpinkmitten:
Pinkmitten Featured By Owner Nov 5, 2012
:(











:iconlafartplz:
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:iconxcetera:
Xcetera Featured By Owner Nov 5, 2012  Professional Photographer
:saddummy: :hug:
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:iconpinkmitten:
Pinkmitten Featured By Owner Nov 5, 2012
:iconlafartplz:
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:icondivine--apathia:
divine--apathia Featured By Owner Nov 5, 2012  Hobbyist Photographer
Oh look, you unblocked me.
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:iconbabushka-nipples:
Babushka-Nipples Featured By Owner Nov 5, 2012
my mum told me about the threesome she had.
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:iconquixotic-spark:
quixotic-spark Featured By Owner Nov 5, 2012  Hobbyist Artisan Crafter
FMF or MFM?
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:iconbabushka-nipples:
Babushka-Nipples Featured By Owner Nov 5, 2012
fmf, shes bi.
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:iconvi0letdreamer:
vi0letdreamer Featured By Owner Nov 5, 2012  Student Photographer
:iconpukeplz:
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:icon0rg:
0rg Featured By Owner Nov 5, 2012
ECHIDNA PENIS

[link]
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:iconshininginthedarkness:
shininginthedarkness Featured By Owner Nov 6, 2012
Dammit, I had it in my head that they had hemipenes. I'm.. somehow disappointed?
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:icon0rg:
0rg Featured By Owner Nov 6, 2012
This is better.
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:iconshininginthedarkness:
shininginthedarkness Featured By Owner Nov 6, 2012
It's a little disappointing after seeing some of the stuff snakes have hidden away, that's all.
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:icon0rg:
0rg Featured By Owner Nov 6, 2012
It's a fucking four-headed hydra dick, I'm not sure what else you could want.

Maybe this is more up your alley?

[link]
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