I don't know what it is, but I keep seeing them lately. This DD today was the last straw! [link]

Now I got nothing against old people... Well, that's not true actually. I don't like their demographic's religious or political views, they suck at driving, drive giant fucking RV's, treat customer service representatives like shit, and generally go around with a sense of entitlement because they are old. I'd say most of them are entitled to some benefits, no doubt, but this is America, and I refuse to conform to your age biased caste system! I don't care if you're on social security, because I won't have access to that when I'm your age largely thanks to your generation's fuck-ups. I've been cussed out by too many baby boomers because they took a shit on their satellite dish and can't get the religion channel anymore in their shitty trailer park to give a fuck about any of you. At this point I think I'd rather be homeless, or dead, than work in another call center ever again.

But that's not really relevant here, actually. Because the people in the drawings I'm talking about actually look even older than that, and probably had a hard fucking life. I'll bet they'd be awesome people to talk to... if their brain still works.

However~! Having said that, I'm tired of being reminded that people can turn into weather-beaten, bedraggled, haggard, leathery raisins at the tail-end of their already difficult lives. That shit is just disturbing and it's overdone at this point. I'm seeing it on all my usual corners of the site now. I joined the Portrait Club, BOOM old catcher's mitt, OH NO WAIT it's an old guy. I look in the Elite Artists gallery, "oh look it's one of those singing raisin characters from the 80's... NOPE OLD GUY!" To take my mind of this, I head over to the "Get DD's Club" and I'm greeted by some sort of crinkled up, leathery mass of flesh... is it an old person? I'm not even sure. So then I'm like "aight, let's look at some shittier artists who don't try to make pretentious statements about old people being beautiful on the inside." So I go over to that "Get Watchers" group, the one with its own website thing that cycles through different artist's in the group and has you rate their art, promising a return in views for your own art. (It's a great way to fall asleep, btw) I'm going along just fine, I've got my Team Sleep music playing, and I'm dosing off... suddenly an old person, and I'm reminded again of my own horrible mortality.

Now, even though I just happen to be the world's most attractive man (before you ask, no, I'm not ranked in any magazines because I'm just too modest. I told those guys to go pound sand because the lesser attractive men in the world need a chance at winning.) I'm usually not one to make fun of the way someone looks unless it's something they probably could have done something about... like recreational drug addiction or morbid obesity. Also, in actuality, I'm not making fun of the way these old folks look, because there's nothing fun about that shit. This is a completely serious topic, and you've got to be some kind of sick fuck to be having fun right now. I just can't help but feel it's gone too far at this point. It's like those anti-smoking commercials I'm seeing everywhere now. I mean, I'm sitting there watching a funny ass show, when suddenly I'm forced to look at (and listen to) some cancerous zombie with a hole in its neck, speaking through a voice box, that they are likely controlling through some act of necromancy. You totally killed my buzz, anti-smoking people, and I don't even smoke. (Although I must admit, I'd be a lot cooler if I did.) Now the old-people drawings are doing the same thing on an art site. Weather-beaten old people are the anti-smoking adds of deviantart, second only to the real anti-smoking ads that probably show up in the margins from time-to-time.

Besides all that, and I think I said this before, it's overdone and pretentious. Oh and it also takes less skill, believe it or not, than drawing a young stud like myself. You'd think all that detail would be harder, but it's not. All the wrinkles and so fourth are somewhat easy to reproduce in a drawing and have it still look impressive, but wide spaces of smooth skin texture become more difficult due to their subtleties. A smooth face is going to require a lighter touch and a lot of blending, and it's hard as fuck to get it looking right. Now I'm not saying that I can hold a candle to the artist who created the DD above, that chick is fucking good. I mean, just look at her gallery, Jesus Christ... However, I think the subject of old people in portraits is still viewed as looking more impressive than it actually should, or really is. I guess you could say, the DD she got isn't the best piece in her gallery from a technical standpoint.

LASTLY, where are all the in-between people? All people ever draw are portraits of celebrities, freaking gorgeous models, their kids, or the hideously hideous because they want people to be all like "oh he's so deep, open-minded, and respectful! He draws the inner-beauty, blah blah blah." Where are the old people that aren't famous or ridiculously ravaged by time? I've seen some pretty decent looking old people who were probably older than the woman in that drawing, where's all their stuff?(Hell, she's actually probably only like 30 years old because living in some places is a bitch.) I mean yea, their generation usually sucks, but there's still a handful of awesome ones out there you could draw that would make people go "yea, I'll play my cards right and be a decent looking old guy like him someday."


TL;DR: Jesus, I don't fucking blame you... that just went on and on, and I ain't even drunk this time. Anyway it was about all the crinkly skinned old people drawings that keep showing up on the site, and how they're killing my buzz that I work so hard to maintain when I'm sober.

ONE MORE THING! If deviantart cannot prevent *prosaix from posting in my thread, I shall destroy Gotham City once for each reply she posts. I also have it on unreliable authority that she's a he. Now on a lighter note, I shall leave you all with this picture of Bad Luck Brian: [link]