So I came down with pneumonia recently and I'm on these wonderful antiobiotics to kill whatever is having a party in my lungs, and to make it stop feeling like I'm breathing tomato soup. That's great. I'm already feeling better. However, due to the whole my-lungs-are-fucked-up situation, on top of the antibiotics, this means I can neither indulge in alcohol or my usual smokeables. This leaves me very, very not happy.

I've been coming in to work under the influence of some substance or other for the past year and a half. I mean that literally, this is the first day since 2010 that I came in to work sober. I've even sat through my Mid-year Reviews stoned out of my mind and just been told that I'm a punctual, hard working, motivated and engaged employee who works well with the team. My manager can never really find anything negative or anything for me to improve upon.

Today... today I want to strangle people. Yell. Scream. Cry. Throw shit. I have had it up to here. I was worried what working sober would be like after all this time. It's worse than I had imagined. Not only does the time drag out just as long - apparently that's just work destroying my soul, not pot's funky way with time - AND there's nothing in my system to take the bite out of my personality when I'm dealing with boneheads. I've been on the edge of murder ALL. DAY.

On top of this joyousness, I was notified a few months ago that the government library in which I work will be closing down and that my position will be terminated. Yeah, fine, that I can deal with, I'm getting a sweet severance package. Except these motherfuckers don't seem to understand that WE ARE CLOSING. They expect us to continue on with business as usual even though they have cut our budget and terminated us all. Who the fuck do they think is going to keep doing our work when we are gone?! Because they've started shitting bricks any time I try to start wrapping up my work so it's not a fucking mess when I leave.

No, it's okay! I'll just keep making fucking loans from other libraries and then you dickheads are going to be stuck trying to figure out how to return things and who has what and... I just want to blow this place up. The only way my leaving this place on my last day could be better in any way would be if the building was collapsing in a fiery heap of rubble behind me. With all employees in it. Because any motherfucker stupid enough to think this is actually a good place to be deserves to burn with it.

I can't goddamn wait for when I'm done taking these antibiotics so I can get rip-roaring drunk and stoned out of my gourd. Then perhaps my murderous urges and the desire to strangle people with their own intestines might just subside. You wanna know why hippies are chill yo? It's because we're stoned. And you want us that way, because boy-howdy are we cranky when we're sober. Fuck.

I'm on antibiotics for pneumonia so I can't smoke or drink any alcohol. Coming to work sober for the first time in over a year and a half is a fucking bitch. I WANT MY SUBSTANCES DAMNIT.