An Open Letter To My Orthodontist

!Skodge Apr 19, 2012 Hobbyist Photographer

Dear Mr Happy,
I know that you're cheerful the whole time. I do no know why this is. Do you enjoy the pain you cause me? Do you derive a sadistic pleasure from the knowledge that you are going to tighten both my top and bottom teeth, thus preventing me from eating? I'd like to know.

Actually, given the fact that you rarely put gloves on while you hold my mouth open, I would hate to be in your mind.

Please stop telling me not to move my tongue when in reality, I was swallowing the saliva that was pooling in my throat as a direct consequence of my head being tilted back and my mouth wide open. It gives me great joy to know that you want me to choke.

Please hire better nurses. If they are going to be using wirecutters in my mouth, I'd like them to have a steady hand.

With all due respect

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Devious Comments

!Skodge Apr 19, 2012 Hobbyist Photographer

One orthodontist who's some sort of superhero, since he often has 3 patients at a time. He lets the nurses do the easy stuff and leaves the complicated to the nurses, who are legion.

^3wyl Apr 20, 2012 Hobbyist Photographer

Oh? That's.. really intense?

~Arctic-Hunter Apr 19, 2012

so if you get braces and push your teeth back... you do realize that you'll get impacted wisdom teeth, right?

!Skodge Apr 19, 2012 Hobbyist Photographer

I didn't exactly get a choice as to whether I wanted them or not.

~Arctic-Hunter Apr 19, 2012

sue your parents. i hear it's pretty common in the us.

!Skodge Apr 19, 2012 Hobbyist Photographer

I live in Switzerland and the only lawyer I know is my aunt. I tried hiring her to sue my parents for fraud, but she took my mother's side.

~LudwigvanKickass2 Apr 19, 2012 Professional Traditional Artist

Orthodontists can serve a purpose, but they often don't. You see, sometimes things like braces and all that other stuff can be used to correct major problems at a young age to prevent costly and painful surgery later in life. Often times though, they are not used in this way. Instead they are used for purely cosmetic reasons, and I do have a problem with this.

I had a Mandibular Anterior Repositioning Appliance (MARA) when I was younger due to a severe car wreck that I was in an infant. The orthodontist (as well as the dentist I went to) thought that the best course of action would be to get one to correct what happened because if not I would most likely need major surgery later on.

!godmaschine Apr 20, 2012

my brother had to have braces because his overbite was so bad they predicted in the next 5-10 years his bottom jaw's teeth would literally cut into his upperjaw's flesh.

but wiht me they told me HELL NAW NYIGGA SHIT YO JAW BES PERFECTS, YO.
which is relieving, fuck braces.

~LudwigvanKickass2 Apr 20, 2012 Professional Traditional Artist

His bottom teeth would cut into his upper jaw? Gross.

!godmaschine Apr 20, 2012

yeah

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