I can't believe I wasted 3 and a half years of my life on this

~jennikins628 Apr 14, 2012 Student Traditional Artist

I'm an idiot.

I've been dating the guy who was my best friend for the last 3 and a half years. We'd been friends for 5 years before that.

2 weeks ago, AFROTC kicked him because of grades, and I got some really fucking bad news about my health, so he dumped me when we were both feeling like shit for "being selfish."

ME? SELFISH? Oh my god. This guy hasn't even bothered to check up on how I'm doing since my mom died 2 months ago. He hadn't noticed I hadn't been eating or sleeping. Or that I was failing my classes because of the stress and shit.

I send him a letter telling him how much I love him. In return, I get a letter saying that he feels I'm not making an effort in the relationship. I buy him a video game, and he doesn't even acknowledge it beyond "Oh. Thanks." (It was one he'd wanted badly.) I call to congratulate him on a really busy day for me when he places at a drill competition. He can't even be bothered to call me over a long weekend when he has nothing to do. I spent almost 4 years putting up with this shit, and almost MARRIED the guy.

In the 5 years we'd been friends, how did I not notice what a jerk this guy was?? I'm so stupid.

After we break up, he sends an email listing things like "Too emotional over the last 2 months" as reasons for dumping me. Uh, hi, dude, my MOM died and I have a recently diagnosed long-term illness. I think it's allowed, mkay?

Oh, and when I say he 'listed' things? He really listed them out, and used very formal language, too. Like I was hearing a list of side-effects for a new medication from my doctor. Talk about heartless.

My ex-bf is a selfish, insensitive jerkwad that I wasted almost 4 years dating. I am an idiot.

Anti-complaint: I can look at other guys now. I live near an Army training base. I know what I'm doing and where I'm going next weekend.

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!Mistress-Bingley Apr 19, 2012 Hobbyist Traditional Artist

Your mom died? I'm sorry, that must be difficult.

~jennikins628 Apr 19, 2012 Student Traditional Artist

It is.

Living without my mom is the hardest thing I've ever done.

!Mistress-Bingley Apr 19, 2012 Hobbyist Traditional Artist

I can't imagine. Childish as it can be, I have a phobia of my parents especially my dad, travelling anywhere especially by plane. Heck, literally every time one of my parents pick up the phone they have to assure me nothing is wrong. I'm a baby.