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Posted: April 14, 2012

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I can't believe I wasted 3 and a half years of my life on this

~jennikins628 Apr 14, 2012 Student Traditional Artist

I'm an idiot.

I've been dating the guy who was my best friend for the last 3 and a half years. We'd been friends for 5 years before that.

2 weeks ago, AFROTC kicked him because of grades, and I got some really fucking bad news about my health, so he dumped me when we were both feeling like shit for "being selfish."

ME? SELFISH? Oh my god. This guy hasn't even bothered to check up on how I'm doing since my mom died 2 months ago. He hadn't noticed I hadn't been eating or sleeping. Or that I was failing my classes because of the stress and shit.

I send him a letter telling him how much I love him. In return, I get a letter saying that he feels I'm not making an effort in the relationship. I buy him a video game, and he doesn't even acknowledge it beyond "Oh. Thanks." (It was one he'd wanted badly.) I call to congratulate him on a really busy day for me when he places at a drill competition. He can't even be bothered to call me over a long weekend when he has nothing to do. I spent almost 4 years putting up with this shit, and almost MARRIED the guy.

In the 5 years we'd been friends, how did I not notice what a jerk this guy was?? I'm so stupid.

After we break up, he sends an email listing things like "Too emotional over the last 2 months" as reasons for dumping me. Uh, hi, dude, my MOM died and I have a recently diagnosed long-term illness. I think it's allowed, mkay?

Oh, and when I say he 'listed' things? He really listed them out, and used very formal language, too. Like I was hearing a list of side-effects for a new medication from my doctor. Talk about heartless.

My ex-bf is a selfish, insensitive jerkwad that I wasted almost 4 years dating. I am an idiot.

Anti-complaint: I can look at other guys now. I live near an Army training base. I know what I'm doing and where I'm going next weekend.

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~Arvellas Apr 19, 2012

Sounds like he's a pretty good friend, as long as he remains just a friend. I know a woman who is divorced; she and her ex-husband are now besties and do almost everything together. They just can't be romantically involved, and they know that now. So post-dating relationships can definitely work if you're both up for it.

On the other hand, I had an ex who agreed to continue as friends, but kept using the friendship to try to start a relationship again, and would not take no for an answer until I cut communications completely. So be on the lookout for that sort of thing, but also be open to genuine friendship.

~jennikins628 Apr 19, 2012 Student Traditional Artist

Well, for 3 years he was an AMAZING boyfriend. I honestly felt like we were just both having bad days. Idk if it's bad to take him back, but I'm not willing to try it. I'd never trust him.

=Kung-fu-girl90 Apr 18, 2012 Hobbyist Writer

Well, perhaps it was just one of those relationships. You probably would have worked out better staying friends than complicating it with dating. At least he's gotten better about it.

That sounds like some great plans! Good luck!

~jennikins628 Apr 19, 2012 Student Traditional Artist

Probably was.

*EmiliaPaw5 Apr 17, 2012 Hobbyist Digital Artist

Sorry about your illness and your mom's death, at least you didn't make the mistake of marryin him. I hope you will find the right guy for you

~jennikins628 Apr 17, 2012 Student Traditional Artist

Thanks.

I hope so, too.

Actually, I know it's a bit stupid, but I'm hoping this guy straightens up. He's always felt "right." Hah. But at the same time, I won't be heart broken if he doesn't, because I know that means there's someone better.

*EmiliaPaw5 Apr 17, 2012 Hobbyist Digital Artist

Guys don't really change, I kept hoping for the same with the guy I was with for 5 years and if they change, it only lasts for a while. Another thing is, if they don't want to change then there is no ways you will change them.

You will see there are far better men out there that will give you the attention you deserve.

=Saviroosje Apr 17, 2012 Student Digital Artist

IKR I had a boyfriend, which I didn't like that much, but I thought I couldn't get any better, I dumped him twice, but he could talk me over and over again, till he dumped me while cheating on me with someone else. I hate him so bad, and I can't believe I wasted 2 years with him >.< SO stupid. Love makes blind

~jennikins628 Apr 17, 2012 Student Traditional Artist

Haha. The guy I dated for 2 years, and thought I couldn't do better than, hit me. Often. I think we're all afraid we won't be able to do better because we're afraid of being alone. I admit I thought this when this guy broke up with me. But I know better now.

=Saviroosje Apr 18, 2012 Student Digital Artist

yeah indeed, so weird right, I also was scared to be alone forever

but nope.. xD

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