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March 22, 2012
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"I HATE YOU FOR MAKING ME NOT LIKE TWILIGHT!"

:iconlocitathesilent:
LocitatheSilent Featured By Owner Mar 22, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
First off, I didn't make you not like Twilight. I made a well-formulated argument on why Twilight sucks and is terrible, that eventually when I presented the proper evidence (in this case a review of the Breaking Dawn movie by an Internet comedian) you finally admitted that yes, the series was crap.

Second, if you said you don't like it and see why it's dumb, WHY ARE YOU SO UPSET ABOUT IT? I mean yes, I would understand having a fleeting moment of sadness that something you thought was good turns out to be bad. But it's been WEEKS since this happened and still, every time the commercial comes on, you have to curse at me and whine about how you can never look at it the same way again.

And third, and most importantly, you're two years older than me, stop acting like a fucking preteen. Liking Twilight was the epitome (and your horrific whining afterwards didn't make it better). But I feel like I can't watch TV with you. Because every couple, even that isn't romantically involved, you bitch when they're not having sex. When we watched the Voice last night you whined for five minutes because Adam had to pick between two guys who you ADMIT were both equally talented and you were made that he didn't pick the "pretty" one. And this is regular for you. Who cares that Adam isn't gay, the guy who you thought was pretty WAS gay, and the fact that shouldn't mean two shits in a talent competition. This is a pretty regular occurrence - stop fucking whining about insignificant shit like that. You're 23. This is the age where you should be beyond the stupid "BUT HE'S NOT HOT" nonsense, especially when your ACTUALLY experience with guys doesn't include any moderately attractive ones.

I'm going to give you life advice. Are you listening? Stop being so shallow, not just about your entertainment, in general. Stop being so lazy, as it's clearly poisoning your mind. And lastly, stop adamantly defending guys for YEARS who treat you and all women like crap up until they accuse you of alcoholism (the one thing they do that isn't selfish and piggish on their part because it's very close to true) and then drop them and cry because you're so alone because you're shallow and unaccomplished and that's why you cry at your birthday every year - because you're a 23-year-old college drop out with no desire to do anything with your life.

I guess what I'm trying to get across here is, Twilight sucks and you know it. I don't give a shit about your piddly ass problems.
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Devious Comments

:icondistrictanne:
DistrictAnne Featured By Owner Mar 29, 2012
Terrible story line, good movie.
I find it strange when people "hate" Twilight so much that they feel the need to type up lame excuses for watching it.
Example:
omg lol it's so bad it's funny thats why i watch it

Jump on the bandwagon everyone, let's hate Twilight :I
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:iconfiction-works:
Fiction-Works Featured By Owner Mar 23, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Twilight ruins another friendship.

Bad twilight, bad!
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:iconawoly:
Awoly Featured By Owner Mar 23, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
I'm sorry you go threw that because of a video I found and shared... But in my defense, I'm attractive...just saying...
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:iconlocitathesilent:
LocitatheSilent Featured By Owner Mar 23, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
No, the initial was because of a video I found. :) You just encouraged it.
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:iconawoly:
Awoly Featured By Owner Mar 23, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
...and I'm attractive...I mean, come on! I'm Le Sexy Beast!!!!
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:icongrabyourshovelanddig:
GrabYourShovelAndDig Featured By Owner Mar 23, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I actually like Twilight

because it is so bad that it's just funny.
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:iconstreled:
Streled Featured By Owner Mar 23, 2012   Traditional Artist
Put her on fire, she'll get how it's hard to be hot...
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:iconlocitathesilent:
LocitatheSilent Featured By Owner Mar 23, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
...lolwut?
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:iconstreled:
Streled Featured By Owner Mar 23, 2012   Traditional Artist
That was a very bad joke.
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:iconbellafibs:
Bellafibs Featured By Owner Mar 22, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
People are still talking about Twilight?
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:iconjeweledscarab:
JeweledScarab Featured By Owner Mar 22, 2012  Hobbyist Artisan Crafter
Someone can get mad at you....for making them hate Twilight?

....wat.
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:icontherearenoturkeys:
ThereAreNoTurkeys Featured By Owner Mar 22, 2012
There are worse books than Twilight.

Now if you'll excuse me, I totally have to not spam libraryofagony.com, where such books are reviewed.
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:iconlocitathesilent:
LocitatheSilent Featured By Owner Mar 22, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Yeah, but those books don't tend to go mainstream.
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:icontherearenoturkeys:
ThereAreNoTurkeys Featured By Owner Mar 22, 2012
Fair enough.
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:iconavskyggene:
AvSkyggene Featured By Owner Mar 22, 2012
The correct answer is, "Yoouurrrr'e welcome!"

Because you have done them a favor - you've helped them have less shitty taste!
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:iconcrazylittleloon:
Crazylittleloon Featured By Owner Mar 22, 2012  Student Writer
I'm editing Twilight.

I have to look at every sentence very closely, judge if it's vital to the story or not, figure out if it's okay or if I need to try and salvage it, fix gramatical errors, tie up sentence fragments, and if worse comes to worse remove entire paragraphs, pages, and I even completely cut out one scene.

The pain I feel is endless. :stare:
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:icongodmaschine:
godmaschine Featured By Owner Mar 22, 2012
there's a blog somewhere where some chick already red-lines it, and she's only on the second book or so... i forget what it's called--
lol never mind, fouuuund iiiiit~ [link]
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:iconcrazylittleloon:
Crazylittleloon Featured By Owner Mar 23, 2012  Student Writer
Awesome. :lol:
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:icongogo-t-w:
GoGo-T-W Featured By Owner Mar 22, 2012   Traditional Artist
I would actually love to read that if you ever finish it.
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:iconcrazylittleloon:
Crazylittleloon Featured By Owner Mar 23, 2012  Student Writer
If I can figure out a way to get it online without copyright laws biting me in the ass...:paranoid:
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:icongogo-t-w:
GoGo-T-W Featured By Owner Mar 23, 2012   Traditional Artist
You could always e-mail Stephanie Meyer and ask what she thinks. I've heard she's quite aware of how much it sucks, and not because of the backlash.
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:iconcrazylittleloon:
Crazylittleloon Featured By Owner Mar 23, 2012  Student Writer
Maybe. :plotting:
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:iconlocitathesilent:
LocitatheSilent Featured By Owner Mar 22, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
So it's gonna be what, ten pages long when you're done with it?
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:iconcrazylittleloon:
Crazylittleloon Featured By Owner Mar 22, 2012  Student Writer
Probably a little longer. If I can add some personality to the characters, then I might be able to salvage it.
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:iconlocitathesilent:
LocitatheSilent Featured By Owner Mar 22, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
So you're not so much editing as you are completely rewriting.
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:iconcrazylittleloon:
Crazylittleloon Featured By Owner Mar 22, 2012  Student Writer
Well, not completely rewriting. :lol:
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:iconlocitathesilent:
LocitatheSilent Featured By Owner Mar 22, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Close enough :)
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:iconaret:
Aret Featured By Owner Mar 22, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
I would watch Breaking Prawn.
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:iconlocitathesilent:
LocitatheSilent Featured By Owner Mar 22, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
In which Bella is pursued by a shrimp monster?
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:iconaret:
Aret Featured By Owner Mar 22, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
In which Pepe the Muppet Prawn takes over. I fucking love that parody. I damn near fell off my couch.
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:iconlocitathesilent:
LocitatheSilent Featured By Owner Mar 22, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
:lol: I wanna see!
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:iconaret:
Aret Featured By Owner Mar 22, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Here: [link]
It's short, and starts at about 1:11. But I recommend watching the whole thing, and any of the other parody trailers they made. I only saw them last night, they're extras on the DVD. The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo one is my favourite.
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:iconlocitathesilent:
LocitatheSilent Featured By Owner Mar 22, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
My favorite Muppet's sketch is still their Bohemian Rhapsody.
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:iconaret:
Aret Featured By Owner Mar 22, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
I agree. Probably the only group in the world that could cover Queen without making me wanna gouge out my eardrums. But the parody trailers made me lawl. Also the bit in the movie where they do Fuck You from Cee-lo Green.
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:iconlocitathesilent:
LocitatheSilent Featured By Owner Mar 22, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
YES. I like their version better. :) And Rainbow Connection made me cry.
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(1 Reply)
:iconinternetsatan:
InternetSatan Featured By Owner Mar 22, 2012
Sounds like a sequel to District 9.
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:iconaret:
Aret Featured By Owner Mar 22, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Actually, it's the Muppets version of Twilight: [link] at 1:11

Muppets are so fucking awesome.
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:iconsanguinelaw:
SanguineLaw Featured By Owner Mar 22, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Is this because of the whole quitting smoking thing? I mean the reason you posted this, not the facts themselves.. those never change. Either way you showed someone the light, Twilight is terrible :nod:
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:iconlocitathesilent:
LocitatheSilent Featured By Owner Mar 22, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
The irritation yes. Typically I'm pretty tolerant of this.
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:iconkirehashi:
kirehashi Featured By Owner Mar 22, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
You hate twilight too? Let's be friends!
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:iconlocitathesilent:
LocitatheSilent Featured By Owner Mar 22, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Okay!
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:iconstieger:
Stieger Featured By Owner Mar 22, 2012
I stopped reading at Twilight.
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:iconlocitathesilent:
LocitatheSilent Featured By Owner Mar 22, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
That is a very strong defense mechanism you have.
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:iconlooseendc:
looseENDc Featured By Owner Mar 22, 2012
:iconthisplz:
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:iconsbkmulletman:
sbkMulletMan Featured By Owner Mar 22, 2012
whoops, almost forgot: Someone mentioned Twilight!

You know what that means!

:iconendlessdestinyplz::iconendlessdeathplz::iconendlessdreamplz::icondesireplz::iconendlessdespairplz::icondeliriumplz:
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:icongogo-t-w:
GoGo-T-W Featured By Owner Mar 22, 2012   Traditional Artist
I finally found the first one at my library. A couple years ago I was Death for Halloween. But at the time, I couldn't find an ankh to save my life, so I had to make an ugly, clunky one out of clay. Then I found one a few weeks later. Of course.
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:iconsuperpika237:
superpika237 Featured By Owner Mar 22, 2012  Student Traditional Artist
I also don't get it.
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:iconlocitathesilent:
LocitatheSilent Featured By Owner Mar 22, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
I don't get it.
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:iconsbkmulletman:
sbkMulletMan Featured By Owner Mar 22, 2012
A few years ago, when the Twilight thing was out of hand, kind of like Poonies today, I had a shtick where every time someone mentioned Twilight, I'd tell them to just read Neil Gaiman's Sandman.

Neil Gaiman's Sandman is the cure for Twilight. C'mon, everybody knows this.
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:iconlocitathesilent:
LocitatheSilent Featured By Owner Mar 22, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Mmmm, Sandman. First time I read that was for a college level lit class. :)
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