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January 4, 2009
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Replies: 308

My Brother Just Walked In On Me Masturbating.

:iconmingchao:
Mingchao Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2009
Holy fuck, little brother, LEARN TO KNOCK! And before you bug me for not locking my door, my lock doesn't work.

I think I scarred my little brother for life. He burst open the door and caught me with my boobs showing, my panties around my ankles, and a makeshift dildo in between my legs. He came in smiling and then went "OMFG" and slammed the door shut.

How am I going to LIE about this? D: I'm so embarrassed; he's definitely going to tell somebody he caught his dear sister masturbating. Even though he probably doesn't even know what I was doing...but still.

In before "Let him join in."
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Devious Comments

:iconxerces:
Xerces Featured By Owner Jan 5, 2009  Professional Artisan Crafter
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:iconrocklou:
RockLou Featured By Owner Jan 5, 2009  Hobbyist General Artist
Damn! Damn!

You're 13 and already have a dildo?
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:iconmadashellyo:
MadAsHellyo Featured By Owner Jan 5, 2009
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:iconmadashellyo:
MadAsHellyo Featured By Owner Jan 5, 2009
LOL NIGGERS LOL NIGGERS LOL NIGGERS LOL NIGGERS LOL NIGGERS LOL NIGGERS LOL NIGGERS LOL NIGGERS LOL NIGGERS LOL NIGGERS LOL NIGGERS LOL NIGGERS LOL NIGGERS LOL NIGGERS LOL NIGGERS LOL NIGGERS LOL NIGGERS LOL NIGGERS
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LOL NIGGERS LOL NIGGERS LOL NIGGERS LOL NIGGERS LOL NIGGERS LOL
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:iconcatapultedcarcass:
CatapultedCarcass Featured By Owner Jan 5, 2009  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Sounds like you need a man in your life :eyes:
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:icontransformergirl:
Transformergirl Featured By Owner Jan 5, 2009  Hobbyist General Artist
My 11th grade history teacher once caught a student masterbating in one of her classese, he was standing in a corner.
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:iconleftylike:
LeftyLike Featured By Owner Jan 5, 2009
...at least he'll knock from now on..:crazy:
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:icondjirrev:
dJirrev Featured By Owner Jan 5, 2009
Walk in on him choking the chicken next time and then you're even and neither of you will mention it ever again :nod:
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:iconogal:
Ogal Featured By Owner Jan 5, 2009
How old is he? If your lucky maybe he's secretly a porn director and now wants to hire you.
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:iconm-tel:
M-tel Featured By Owner Jan 5, 2009
In before "Let him join in."

...in my vagina.


:iconicameplz:
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:iconrocketspy:
RocketSpy Featured By Owner Jan 5, 2009
Oh god......
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:icondistroya:
distroya Featured By Owner Jan 5, 2009
Pics or it didn't happen. :XD:

On a more serious note, thanks for the mental image. I don't think I'm gonna be able to shift it, even if I wanted to. =P
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:iconaliska:
aliska Featured By Owner Jan 5, 2009
I think you should camp out behind his bedroom door and wait for him to spank his monkey (and he will, eventually - he's a boy), then jump out and yell HA! Haha-ha-HA!.

It'll be like double blackmail.
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:iconmixdown:
mixdown Featured By Owner Jan 5, 2009   Photographer
Late nights, locked doors.

There's a song in there somewhere...
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:iconnanaki7:
Nanaki7 Featured By Owner Jan 5, 2009
this is why I do it when no one is going to barge in, and 13? they start early
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:iconkylemistry:
KyleMistry Featured By Owner Jan 5, 2009
Need to be more stealthy, yo.

Masturbation Gear Solid: Vaginal Espionage Action.

Featuring Solid Snake, of course. And Naked Snake, who later becomes Big Boss. I don't even need to try to turn those into innuendo.
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:iconshadow-whisper:
Shadow-whisper Featured By Owner Jan 5, 2009
:lol: Ahahahah! Oh lordy, I can't stop laughing. It's probably not that bad though; he's probably more embarrassed than anything. How young is he? I was in the same situation, except I walked in on my brother (I was only about 11), and it just kinda blew over. But yeah, use the covers and lights off. ;)

And yanno, at least you do it in the privacy of your own room. My little sister does it all damn day (and at least three times a day), in the living room, with my mother, my brother and myself all sitting two feet away from her watching TV. :| Best part is we've confronted her about it, and she denies it, and still does it.
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:icondistilledvinegar:
DistilledVinegar Featured By Owner Jan 5, 2009
The fuck? D:
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:iconxx-crying-darkness-x:
xX-cRyInG-dArKnEsS-X Featured By Owner Jan 5, 2009
O.o you shud lock the door or sumthing next time...
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:icontome89:
Tome89 Featured By Owner Jan 5, 2009
And the problem is?

Just tell him what's what. No problem.
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:icondenierim:
Denierim Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2009  Hobbyist Artisan Crafter
I can picture that moment in my head and it gave me some great laughs this time in the morning. :rofl:

Sorry, but you should honestly think about doing it under the covers or in the locked bathroom. Otherwise you're just begging for something like that to happen.
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:iconqueenofraisins:
QueenOfRaisins Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2009
I bet he was disappointed.
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:icondistilledvinegar:
DistilledVinegar Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2009
Well, I imagine he'll start knocking! :lol:

Say you were changing your clothes all at once and sat on a can of hairspray? :B
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:iconupsilon400:
Upsilon400 Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2009  Student Interface Designer
Okay, I gotta get these out of the way, as Teh Internetz tells me they're mandatory:
:iconpedobearfapplz:
[link]

Okay, there.

Now. Maybe you should try investing in a better lock. OR. Do you share the bedroom with your brother?

~Y
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:icondarklordiiid:
DarklordIIID Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2009
...in my vagina.

Holy win signature batman.
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:iconrocketspy:
RocketSpy Featured By Owner Jan 5, 2009
It's epic!
:iconepicwinplz:
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:iconmarquiseyaru:
MarquisEyaru Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2009
Tell him it's for science.
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:iconarchaii:
archaii Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2009  Student Writer
I hate the word panties >.>
Also, maybe he just will never mention it ever, ever again.
How young is younger ? D:
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:iconshidaku:
Shidaku Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2009
*shrug* come back when you've walked in on your folks shagging.
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:iconraspil:
raspil Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2009   Writer
How am I going to LIE about this?

aren't you lying right now? are you really telling us that your first impulse after you zipped up was to post this BS at deviantART? really?
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:iconajglass:
AJGlass Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2009  Professional Artisan Crafter
are you really telling us that your first impulse after you zipped up was to post this BS at deviantART?

No, her first impulse was self-preservation, as it would be for anyone caught in such a situation by a younger sibling.
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:iconraspil:
raspil Featured By Owner Jan 5, 2009   Writer
okay, hair-splitter.
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:iconajglass:
AJGlass Featured By Owner Jan 5, 2009  Professional Artisan Crafter
So it's splitting hairs to actually understand the complaint now?

:lol:
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:iconraspil:
raspil Featured By Owner Jan 5, 2009   Writer
jesus motherfucking titties.
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:iconrocketspy:
RocketSpy Featured By Owner Jan 5, 2009
:icontitplz::icontitplz:
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:iconajglass:
AJGlass Featured By Owner Jan 5, 2009  Professional Artisan Crafter
:lol:
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:iconcoffeestainedstudio:
CoffeeStainedStudio Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2009  Hobbyist General Artist
So, how fast did your pageviews jump up?
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:iconrocketspy:
RocketSpy Featured By Owner Jan 5, 2009
:iconepicwinplz:
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:iconaliska:
aliska Featured By Owner Jan 5, 2009
:lmao:
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:iconschlegel-mach:
Schlegel-Mach Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2009
Okay, this thread... this thread is full of the secrets of Complaints' fapping techniques (no jutsu). This is a valuable thread.

It also has over 150 replies in less than two hours. That has to be some kind of record.
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:iconrocketspy:
RocketSpy Featured By Owner Jan 5, 2009
Wanko no jutsu?
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:icondeaths-discomfort:
deaths-discomfort Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2009  Hobbyist General Artist
You say you used a can of hairspray for a makeshift dildo...

Considering this, was it one of those thick 3 inch in diameter ones or a skinnier version?

As a tip for the next time you masturbate, do it in your bed under the covers with all the lights off so when someone comes in the room you can move around and look normal before they can turn the light on to see you.
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:iconwinged-ego:
Winged-Ego Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2009  Student Traditional Artist
Yikes. (Also, a little TMI.)

Plan on breaking it to him?
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:iconkatyferret:
katyferret Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2009
Everyone got here before me and took all the jokes I was going to make. :iconimnothappyplz:
Anyway, my real response: with that description, if your brother tells, you could just say he didn't see quite right and you were simply changing clothes.
Like all of them at once.
And you needed the hairspray.
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:iconkdotmdot:
kdotmdot Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2009
"Let him join in."

...in my vagina.


:noes:
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:iconrocketspy:
RocketSpy Featured By Owner Jan 5, 2009
:iconohfuckplz:
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:icongavid:
gaviD Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2009
wait, you're 13!

:iconpedobearplz::iconifappedplz:
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:iconliquidskyfire:
liquidskyfire Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2009  Hobbyist General Artist
already beat you to it :lol: --> [link]
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