YOU'RE NOT PREGNANT, AND EVEN IF YOU WERE, IT ISN'T AN EXCUSE TO GET AWAY WITH EVERYTHING!

So I work at an amusement park as a ride operator as a simple summer job. And now I'm learning slowly that everyone that works there is a wako. I think I mentioned once on this forum that theirs a guy that works here with a fake British accent, and thinks he's a werewolf. I also have 4 coworkers who are meme obsessed /b/tards, a manager that is EXTREMELY obsessed with South Park and calls one of the rides, "His baby", a weird little pyromaniac around 17 that likes to heat pennies up and throw them at people, and a supervisor that is a giant 6'6" scary looking guy that likes to quote invader zim, spongebob, and any other cartoon show you can.
None of these people I'm complaining about and most are quite sweet despite their quirks, but it does show the kind of environment I work.


So now there's a somewhat new girl working here, who's around 19-ish, about 5'3", and named Elizabeth.

I first met her when I was a roller coaster operator, and she was the Remote dispatch/attendent. After the first half an hour of working with her, she asked me to call security twice, and call first aid for some Band-Aids. Then after the next two hours she pretended to collapse to stop having to work, and told me while she was "supposedly passed out" to call first aid again to go to the nurse.

Then almost every day all she did was whine and lick. She was always sick, or tired, or had a paper cut, or a sprained wrist, or her anus hurts from shoving her head in it.

She was learning how to operate Tilt-a-whirl, one of the most boring rides in the park, and then said she couldn't because she was left handed, and allergic to bee's, she apparently saw all around the ride. So I got put on it, and guess what! I'm not only a lefty, but I'M allergic to bee's too! I can somehow manage though, and not cry over every little inconvenience.

So 4 weeks ago she announced she was pregnant. Everyone was kind and supportive. Seeing the opportunity she began to take advantage of it. When their were only rides left where you have to bend over and check restraints, she would get switched off for a good ride. Then she started demanding hour long brakes, her own walkie-talkie, free food from the cafeteria and so on.

She'll mention it every day in almost every conversation, as if she was the first person ever to get knocked-up.

Here was a conversation I had with her just 2 weeks ago:

Her: Hey, can I borrow 5 dollars?
Me: Sorry, I have to use that money to catch the bus home, besides, you never paid me back the last 3 times.
Her: .................but I'm pregnant!
Me: What does that have to do with anything?
Her: If I don't eat every couple hours, my baby will starve to death!
Me:
Her: Fine, I'll ask someone else!

Now it's been over a month since she said she was pregnant, and according to her almost 2 months before she said she learned of it and, Surprise! Not a single sign of pregnancy!
Now when the supervisors ask for some doctors note of her pregnancy, she says she hasn't gotten any yet, or she left it at home.

We have another pregnant girl who I know in the same department, and she's just fine doing all the hard work that every other worker has to do.

Elizabeth is the most lazy person I've ever met, and now all I want to do is try to prove she's lying and get her fired.

tl;dr: So I was having hot lesbian sex last night. Read above for all the juicy details.

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[link] got gang banged by 3 midgets, on top of Old Smokey, in a tutu, while eating aged gouda cheese, and farting Jimi Hendrix's electric guitar cover of the star spangled banner.