Some people think that furries are daft. Some people make fun of furries. Some people just don’t like them. Some people outright hate them.

But who would have suspected that furries would one day turn evil? Who would have thought that they would become one with the Antichrist? Who would have thought they would drink the blood of virgins*?

_{*Although Catholics claim to do the same thing.}

Evidence Here!

Yep, that’s right. Photographic evidence that the Church of Satanism is nothing more than an evil furry cult! When haters told furries to yiff in hell, little did they realise the compliment they were paying the subject of their abuse.

My complaint? The fact that this has gone unnoticed for so long! A cult of evil furries is so fucking ridiculous that a species as stupid as ours is bound to embrace it with open arms!

Vigilance, people! We must arm ourselves with knowledge if we are to prevail!

SIGNS YOUR CHILD COULD BE AN EVIL FURRY

- Frequently wears fursuits.
- Wears t-shirts depicting anthropomorphic characters like Mickey Mouse and Cher.
- Wears face paint that gives them an animalistic appearance.
- Has a tattoo of Raptor Jesus being crucified upside down.
- Listens to any of the following bands: Yiffin’ Park, Fur Fag Boy, My Chemical Yiffage, Bestiality 182, Fursecution! At the Disco (please burn any such albums immediately).
- Associates with other people that dress, act or speak like animals.
- Shows an increasing interest in animal porn, crucifying your Chihuahua upside down, yiffing and/or evil furry cults like the Church of Satanism.
- Is a vegetarian on the grounds of not wanting to eat ‘fellow animals’.
- Drinks the blood of virgin puppies.
- Spends way too much time on Fur Affinity (>5 seconds).
- Tries to hang themselves while wearing a fursuit only to realise they’ve made the neck join too sturdy. So they’re left flailing around in your basement until you find them next morning.
- Dislikes leaving their basement ‘unnecessarily’.
- Claims to have brought their girlfriend home to meet the family when all you see with them is a dog.
- Shouts ‘fursecution’ whenever they’re told something they don’t want to hear.
-Yiffs at school.
-Yiffs at home.
- Eats dog biscuits.
- Plays furry-related games such as Sonic the Hedgehog.
- Claims to be an evil furry.