So I'm at work. I fucking hate my job by now. I'm only working 4-8 hours a week so what's the point?

I find out I have to work tomorrow. Now I was hoping I wouldn't have to go through this. First of all, I'm a church girl. And since I am the ONLY church girl in the entire facility, you would think they would get that Sundays are difficult for me. It's funny how they let another guy have the day off to watch football but won't let me have the day off to go to church. :\ I don't mind it. But I think it's hypocritical.

Anyways that isn't why I needed Sunday off. I had a sudden swarm of appointments and school related things hit me in one fell swoop. I ended up having a doctors appointment rescheduled, I got an e-mail saying I needed to go down the school to figure out something with financial aid, a dinner I had committed to ended up landing on that day (short notice is short), it was a mess. And by the time I got all of this situated, it was too late to call them up about it.

So I got there hoping that I wasn't working. Oh goody, I am. And at the least convenient time. So I check the schedule. Everyone who isn't working requested the day off. Fuck. So I go to one of my manangers and tell him in hopes that he would have a suggestion. I wasn't asking him to just give it too me. I was asking if he could figure out how I could trade hours or if someone could work longer or something, because most of these things I can't really miss without looking like a jackass and the school thing I risk having to pay upwards of $1600 to the school if I don't fix whatever is wrong.

And you know what he says "Oh, tough luck. You're working tomorrow." He does this while grinning, as if I had just said "Oh I don't want to work tomorrow". I don't think you understand. I CAN'T work tomorrow. I even asked if he could give me $1600 to pay for my financial aid which should've been a hint that I'm not kidding. But no, he continues with his completely empathetic attitude.

Now, I'm a very emotional person. I mean very. It isn't something that developed, it isn't something I do for attention. I just am. I don't know if I'm bipolar, I just know that when I feel something, I feel it. I am very easily angered, frustrated, overjoyed, upset, annoyed, whatever. It doesn't take a lot to get me to the point of a break down though. And what's worse is very few people get this and assume I'm just a cry baby because I do cry easily. In the near 18 years I've had this problem I've gotten good at holding it in however.

So I was already frustrated at this point. On top of it I had a huge migraine because the manager in charge of finances thinks it would be cheaper to not turn on the air conditioning for the employees (it's on in the lobby so you know). And it's about 100 degrees out so this doesn't help. To top it off, I end up having to stay 15 minutes overtime, in lieu of the fact I had just be told I could leave an hour ago.

Now I'm holding back a break down which since I still have to take orders, is not easy. Finally the same guy who was having such an attitude comes over, and I finally know I'm upset. I can't talk. When I get really upset, I just can't force myself to talk without bawling. I can only mouth words. So he comes over joking about how I'm not paying attention (which seeing as I'm hot and flustered, I don't see why he didn't catch this) and I finally give up and run into the break room.

That makes it a bit easier and after about 10 minutes he asks why I'm crying. Okay first of all, never do this. It doesn't make things better. Every person I've met just cries more when you ask "What's wrong". I know it's first instinct. But seriously. Now after he asks this I can talk but it's cracked. Luckily there were no customers. Then he finally gets why. I don't even have to explain it so obviously he's not a total idiot. And it's only then that he helps me out. I had already called a few people (and got no answer because life seriously hated me at this point) but he told me to just take the day off.

Now while I appreciate what he did, and I am thankful that at least he did something, I shouldn't have to bust out crying for someone to take me seriously. In fact, I hate it. Most of my break downs happen because I try to explain something and people either ignore it or act like it's not important, even when it obviously is. It isn't fun. For a lot of my life I was made fun of because I had such an issue with how sensitive I am.

And what's worse is the other manager working still didn't get it. He makes the schedule and I've been asking for more hours. So he thinks that because I need this day off that I'm being selfish. Despite the fact that he still has yet to give me these hours. Maybe when I'm actually working I'll be more careful. Right now I typically assume I'm not working at all.

I'm really close to my two weeks. My grandma tells me I need to find another just first, but I don't think I can stand it that long. I can put up with the work itself, but I can not put up with the employees. Most of them either have serious elitist issues, having serious issues period, or they're petty teenagers that decide they hate me because I tell them not to gossip about me. (Seriously, I overheard all three of them going on about something where they mentioned me by name. I asked them to stop and they went "NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS". I'm sorry. You're talking about me so I'm sure it's my business._

TL;DR - My coworkers don't take me seriously, and I am an emotional wreck.

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