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Pregnant Weeaboo =/= Princess of the universe

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~Pitch-Dove:iconPitch-Dove: May 16, 2008, 3:22:43 PM
So we have this friend, right? The type of girl who thinks she's the offal of the gods because she's size -1, blond, WASP, you get it. Her name is Jessie.

Jessie phase one: I'm going to be just like Mer! She'd my rolemodel! Which in turn means doing the exact opposite of anything Mer would do and just kinda...fuckin' anything that moves, etc. Being somehow arrogant and self centered and self hating at the same time. We dealt with it. Oh-kay! We still love you, Jessie.

Jessie phase two: I have to date everyone in this group of friends and make horrid attempts to pit one side against each other that always PHAIL over something I lid about. Fine Jessie, we forgive you.

Jessie phase three: JAPAN JAPAN JAPAN. I am the biggest weeabo EVAR! She takes a class at the school I went to before moving to Los Angeles and, etc. She happens to get the same Japanese teacher I had who was a very nice woman. But strict. You go to her class to learn a language...not weeabo her to death. What do you think Jessie did? Anyhow, Mrs. Shima blows up on her. Begs her to pay attention, stop drawing in her class. Jessie...being reprimanded for something!? NO WAI. Jessie rallies her blonds and gets the woman fired. Okay Jessie....enough might be enough.

Jessie phase four: Alex moves to Japan for career reasons. he and Jessie are good friends so she joins him, ends up "running away from home" to Japan and stays there. Puts Alex in debt, nearly gets him evicted, causes all sorts of drama and starts dating this guy from the Yakuza. A guy with tits. Lord, I dont know but he was skinny with C-cups, I cant figure it out. The guy threatens to kill Alex who moves back to the US shortly.

Jessie phase five: Gets knocked up by Yakuza member, lives in Japan for a year...still doesnt speak the language. Not even with her big titted beau.

Jessie phase six: THE BABY this, THE BABY that. Of all the times we have forgiven her we get, after seven years of putting up with her shit "Americans are so crude, I dont want to see any of you anymore! You're a danger to me and my unborn baby! I dont want my baby born in America!" Even her Yakuza boyfriend gave her a 'Bitch, what are you talking about' look.

So, now she's here in Kentucky again. Seriously acting like she's Princess Diana due to: getting knocked up, not graduating high school, betraying her friends and pretending she doesnt occasionally slip up like the rest of us and say 'Y'all'.

TL;DR: You are a weeaboo. Anyone can get knocked up. yes, even in Japan. Reality check, Jessie. You're scum.

--
"Go ahead 'n risk it, hop about-face,
she'll show you the difference 'tween my gun 'n my pistol."

Devious Comments

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~Juliabohemian:iconJuliabohemian: May 16, 2008, 3:23:48 PM
A Yakuza?

:roll: Right.

:lmao:

--
I saw a werewolf drinking a pina colada at Trader Vic's. His hair was perfect.
~Pitch-Dove:iconPitch-Dove: May 16, 2008, 3:25:07 PM
Yes, one of the low-level dudes missing teeth. He's here in Kentucky with her right now, I shit you not. Dude always smells like cheese.

--
"Go ahead 'n risk it, hop about-face,
she'll show you the difference 'tween my gun 'n my pistol."
~Juliabohemian:iconJuliabohemian: May 16, 2008, 3:25:54 PM
Yes, the Kentucky Yakuza is a very dangerous breed. :ninja:

--
I saw a werewolf drinking a pina colada at Trader Vic's. His hair was perfect.
~T-LOID:iconT-LOID: May 16, 2008, 3:25:57 PM
I'll give you all the cookies in the world if you beat her up and post it on youtube.

--
... in an odd looking van.

one birthay to prevent another (on the subject of abortions as birthday gifts)
~MakexMexVintage:iconMakexMexVintage: May 16, 2008, 3:26:10 PM
she needs a reality check. badly. ):

--
Disclaimer: The above statements in no way represent neither the speaker nor the speakee, and should not be taken seriously and/or into offense due to the reasoning that this is the internet and in the end it really won't matter anyway.
~HisnameisDaveyoufool:iconHisnameisDaveyoufool: May 16, 2008, 3:26:27 PM
Jessie phase 7 = collect underpants
Jessie phase 8 = ???
Jessie phase 9 = PROFIT!

--
While the meek and poor are trampled by the strong,
And the hungry men are fodder for the fat,
We can taste a bright tomorrow, righting all our wrongs,
For we got ourselves a couple silly hats.
~DuoJagan:iconDuoJagan: May 16, 2008, 3:26:34 PM
There's always that one friend that tries to throw his/her life down the drain in a creative and very sad way...

If this was a competition, moving to Japan to get impregnated by a man-woman in Yakuza would take the cake.

--
EWWWW Girls have Cooties!

yeah...and Aids...
=BlauerAuss:iconBlauerAuss: May 16, 2008, 3:26:34 PM
Oh my god, if this is all real, you should write a freaking BOOK.

--
Past Avatars
~Pitch-Dove:iconPitch-Dove: May 16, 2008, 3:26:46 PM
...You promise?

--
"Go ahead 'n risk it, hop about-face,
she'll show you the difference 'tween my gun 'n my pistol."
~Pitch-Dove:iconPitch-Dove: May 16, 2008, 3:28:17 PM
Oh, she freakin' wins that competition. Lives with her parents now because her return visa was rejected. XD

--
"Go ahead 'n risk it, hop about-face,
she'll show you the difference 'tween my gun 'n my pistol."
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