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January 30, 2013
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Animal Instinct (book)

:iconatirum:
Atirum Featured By Owner Jan 30, 2013
Cammy Crowe, a mind-reader and smart girl comes to Corbett, Oregon with her best friends family. They are surviving for now, and she isn't enjoying the weather or the people. Especially an ass-hole named Devin, she quikcly learns that she is a were-tiger, or a rakshasa, a tiger/human with special magical qualities. Chase welcomes her into his pack as an omega and she go in with a chin held high, refusing to be belittled by him. When things go bad and turns out that Devin tries everything he can to keep her out of his mind, what can she do? She will risk everything she has for one small pack/family, one small town, and one small boy. Can she help the pack save the town- or will it be to late?

Does this seem like a good story line? I have already started, but I need to see if anyone would actually read it.
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:iconrovanna:
Rovanna Featured By Owner Jan 31, 2013   Digital Artist
As you've probably figured out by now, there's not much point posting up a summary for feedback because people will either say:

:bulletpink: "Sounds cool"
:bulletpink: "Not my thing"
:bulletpink: "Sounds like [this book/movie]"
:bulletpink: "Your story doesn't make sense"

A lot of stories will sound similar to other stories or raise questions of plausibility when written in summary form. What you might find more useful is posting the first chapter for critique. :)
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:iconatirum:
Atirum Featured By Owner Jan 31, 2013
Yes, but then as I post the chapter, no one bothers to read it since they are so long. C:
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:iconrovanna:
Rovanna Featured By Owner Jan 31, 2013   Digital Artist
Did you try putting it in the monthly critique thread, or one of the thumbshare threads offering critique swaps, or making your own thumbshare?
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:iconatirum:
Atirum Featured By Owner Feb 1, 2013
Wow, nope. I totally forgot about them. Lol, I have an attention span of a goldfish...
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:iconrovanna:
Rovanna Featured By Owner Feb 1, 2013   Digital Artist
You'll get some good feedbacks there definitely. :D
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:iconavenvia:
Avenvia Featured By Owner Jan 31, 2013  Student Writer
Honestly, I'm not a fan of that kind of young adult urban fantasy stuff (the similarities to Twilight in this summary seem like something you want to avoid, too). However, Twilight and the others have proved that there's a market for it so my personal opinion counts for very little; if you like it, you carry on writing it.

It's hard to comment on anything much from a summary, but I'd be careful to maintain logical consistency in this story: why would wolf-people want anything to do with a tiger-person? Why would a tiger-person need to learn the ropes from wolves? How did she get tiger powers when they are not native to America and it would be evolutionary suicide to be around there (seeing a tiger in a place without them would almost certainly result in the tigers being hunted down immediately, so how did her ancestors avoid this and manage to never be seen, ever?) due to this.

The main point is, though, that if you want to write it you go on ahead. It doesn't matter what anyone things if you're enjoying yourself.
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:iconatirum:
Atirum Featured By Owner Jan 31, 2013
Never really read twilight, so I wouldn't know what to avoid.

Again, she is half-human, and it is just like when a dog and a cat in a house hold become best of friends. They aren't supposed to because its not in their nature, but they do. As I had said before, they are half human so they can live human lives until they are alone and no one is in distance to see them. I gave them enhanced hearing and sight, things like that, so that they can be more careful. Its just like in Harry Potter, how all the wizards keep hidden from the humans, its a fundamental rule.
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:iconavenvia:
Avenvia Featured By Owner Feb 1, 2013  Student Writer
I'd also add in your cats and dogs example that they aren't competing for food when they're pets in a house. Presumably these animals need to hunt to support their biological systems as wolves or tigers, so they're in direct competition for a very limited food supply, which is why in the wild animals of different (or even the same) species is a lot rarer.
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:iconavenvia:
Avenvia Featured By Owner Feb 1, 2013  Student Writer
The difference between wizards and tigers, though, is that wizards tend to look human all the time. Say a muggle catches a glimpse of one doing magic, it is easy to explain off as a trick of the mind or to wipe that muggle's memory if necessary. But, if I was to see a tiger when I walked my dog or something, say, I would contact the authorities immediately and it would be very easy to locate traces (e.g. their kills, their fur, their footprints) to prove that it was there. In a country where tigers were native, people probably wouldn't question its presence too much - just keep an eye out and probably avoid the area in future - but in somewhere where tigers aren't native? There would be instant suspicion and they would probably shoot or capture the animal as quickly as possible; everybody would be on the lookout for tiger footprints and stuff from then on.

I wouldn't say you need to 'avoid' being similar to Twilight, per se; maybe I used the wrong word. It's just more that in the genre you're writing people are already extremely critical and quick to make comparisons: were-beasts and a telepathic female protagonist are already well established in the very popular Sookie Stackhouse novels. A martyred teenage girl moving to a wet new town and not liking the locals is literally the first chapter of Twilight.

Still, if you're enjoying yourself and you think you're bringing something new to a popular genre, you go on ahead and write it. Every word you write is good practice if nothing else; I'm not asking these questions to be mean, but just because I'm curious about the internal logic of the story.

Also, one last thing to round off this essay; I'd actually recommend you read books like Twilight and the Sookie Stackhouse series. They're in your genre, after all, and by reading them with a critical eye you can see what works and what doesn't in stories like your own. Good writers are good readers, after all.
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:icondj0hybrid:
DJ0Hybrid Featured By Owner Jan 31, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Seems fine. But it sounds like a light fantasy so having someone who can read minds for no reason just comes off odd. But with no complete context, I can't really tell. (Also, going to point back to ~Lytrigian's post about tigers.)
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