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January 30, 2013
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Animal Instinct (book)

:iconatirum:
Atirum Featured By Owner Jan 30, 2013
Cammy Crowe, a mind-reader and smart girl comes to Corbett, Oregon with her best friends family. They are surviving for now, and she isn't enjoying the weather or the people. Especially an ass-hole named Devin, she quikcly learns that she is a were-tiger, or a rakshasa, a tiger/human with special magical qualities. Chase welcomes her into his pack as an omega and she go in with a chin held high, refusing to be belittled by him. When things go bad and turns out that Devin tries everything he can to keep her out of his mind, what can she do? She will risk everything she has for one small pack/family, one small town, and one small boy. Can she help the pack save the town- or will it be to late?

Does this seem like a good story line? I have already started, but I need to see if anyone would actually read it.
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Devious Comments

:iconrovanna:
Rovanna Featured By Owner Jan 31, 2013   Digital Artist
As you've probably figured out by now, there's not much point posting up a summary for feedback because people will either say:

:bulletpink: "Sounds cool"
:bulletpink: "Not my thing"
:bulletpink: "Sounds like [this book/movie]"
:bulletpink: "Your story doesn't make sense"

A lot of stories will sound similar to other stories or raise questions of plausibility when written in summary form. What you might find more useful is posting the first chapter for critique. :)
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:iconatirum:
Atirum Featured By Owner Jan 31, 2013
Yes, but then as I post the chapter, no one bothers to read it since they are so long. C:
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:iconrovanna:
Rovanna Featured By Owner Jan 31, 2013   Digital Artist
Did you try putting it in the monthly critique thread, or one of the thumbshare threads offering critique swaps, or making your own thumbshare?
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:iconatirum:
Atirum Featured By Owner Feb 1, 2013
Wow, nope. I totally forgot about them. Lol, I have an attention span of a goldfish...
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:iconrovanna:
Rovanna Featured By Owner Feb 1, 2013   Digital Artist
You'll get some good feedbacks there definitely. :D
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:iconavenvia:
Avenvia Featured By Owner Jan 31, 2013  Student Writer
Honestly, I'm not a fan of that kind of young adult urban fantasy stuff (the similarities to Twilight in this summary seem like something you want to avoid, too). However, Twilight and the others have proved that there's a market for it so my personal opinion counts for very little; if you like it, you carry on writing it.

It's hard to comment on anything much from a summary, but I'd be careful to maintain logical consistency in this story: why would wolf-people want anything to do with a tiger-person? Why would a tiger-person need to learn the ropes from wolves? How did she get tiger powers when they are not native to America and it would be evolutionary suicide to be around there (seeing a tiger in a place without them would almost certainly result in the tigers being hunted down immediately, so how did her ancestors avoid this and manage to never be seen, ever?) due to this.

The main point is, though, that if you want to write it you go on ahead. It doesn't matter what anyone things if you're enjoying yourself.
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:iconatirum:
Atirum Featured By Owner Jan 31, 2013
Never really read twilight, so I wouldn't know what to avoid.

Again, she is half-human, and it is just like when a dog and a cat in a house hold become best of friends. They aren't supposed to because its not in their nature, but they do. As I had said before, they are half human so they can live human lives until they are alone and no one is in distance to see them. I gave them enhanced hearing and sight, things like that, so that they can be more careful. Its just like in Harry Potter, how all the wizards keep hidden from the humans, its a fundamental rule.
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:iconavenvia:
Avenvia Featured By Owner Feb 1, 2013  Student Writer
I'd also add in your cats and dogs example that they aren't competing for food when they're pets in a house. Presumably these animals need to hunt to support their biological systems as wolves or tigers, so they're in direct competition for a very limited food supply, which is why in the wild animals of different (or even the same) species is a lot rarer.
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:iconavenvia:
Avenvia Featured By Owner Feb 1, 2013  Student Writer
The difference between wizards and tigers, though, is that wizards tend to look human all the time. Say a muggle catches a glimpse of one doing magic, it is easy to explain off as a trick of the mind or to wipe that muggle's memory if necessary. But, if I was to see a tiger when I walked my dog or something, say, I would contact the authorities immediately and it would be very easy to locate traces (e.g. their kills, their fur, their footprints) to prove that it was there. In a country where tigers were native, people probably wouldn't question its presence too much - just keep an eye out and probably avoid the area in future - but in somewhere where tigers aren't native? There would be instant suspicion and they would probably shoot or capture the animal as quickly as possible; everybody would be on the lookout for tiger footprints and stuff from then on.

I wouldn't say you need to 'avoid' being similar to Twilight, per se; maybe I used the wrong word. It's just more that in the genre you're writing people are already extremely critical and quick to make comparisons: were-beasts and a telepathic female protagonist are already well established in the very popular Sookie Stackhouse novels. A martyred teenage girl moving to a wet new town and not liking the locals is literally the first chapter of Twilight.

Still, if you're enjoying yourself and you think you're bringing something new to a popular genre, you go on ahead and write it. Every word you write is good practice if nothing else; I'm not asking these questions to be mean, but just because I'm curious about the internal logic of the story.

Also, one last thing to round off this essay; I'd actually recommend you read books like Twilight and the Sookie Stackhouse series. They're in your genre, after all, and by reading them with a critical eye you can see what works and what doesn't in stories like your own. Good writers are good readers, after all.
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:icondj0hybrid:
DJ0Hybrid Featured By Owner Jan 31, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Seems fine. But it sounds like a light fantasy so having someone who can read minds for no reason just comes off odd. But with no complete context, I can't really tell. (Also, going to point back to ~Lytrigian's post about tigers.)
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:iconatirum:
Atirum Featured By Owner Jan 31, 2013
Some have enhanced abilities, well most of them, and if they didn't get enhanced abilities then they are usually strong than the others and better fighters.

They keep hidden just like the wizards keep hidden in Harry Potter, it is a fundamental rule of "The Laws" to keep the existence a secret from humans.
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:icondorianharper:
DorianHarper Featured By Owner Jan 31, 2013  Professional Writer
If you think it's a good story idea and YOU want to write it, then by all means, do! You didn't need someone else's approval.
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:iconmerrak:
merrak Featured By Owner Jan 30, 2013  Hobbyist
I'd wager the execution of the idea weighs more than the idea itself. Go write it :nod:

Also, my usual answer to this question.
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:iconatirum:
Atirum Featured By Owner Jan 30, 2013
Thanks so much C:
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:iconlytrigian:
Lytrigian Featured By Owner Jan 30, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
The only context I know of where the idea of the rakshasa might be mistaken for some kind of were-tiger is Dungeons and Dragons. Even there they're said to be powerful demons, for which a tiger shape is simply the most common among many they might choose to assume, but I'm pretty sure you can't get that from Hindu myth.

Wouldn't the behavior of were-creatures reflect the natural behavior of their animal halves? Tigers don't run in packs. That'd be wolves. Tigers are solitary hunters. They're not anti-social, but they also don't naturally group.

Moving to the Pacific Northwest and not enjoying the weather or the people has a clear prototype that you'd be better off avoiding.
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:iconatirum:
Atirum Featured By Owner Jan 30, 2013
I guess I really didn't explain it as much as needed. The others, are wolves, and she is the only one that had the unfortunate event to end up in that kind of body. The "Alpha" of some sorts, is studying her genes to find out what exactly went wrong, and I was planning on researching more tonight since the ideas are all pretty new. I said she was a rakshasa because I heard that was what you called tigers that turned into humans with magical properties.

She will eventually let her instincts guide her (hence the name) and go solitary for most of the book.


The character is based off of my personality mostly, since when I make a character that the books point of view is from, it is hard not to put my qualities in it. I am defiantly not a people person- at all. And I have never really cared for bad weather.

I know putting my personality into her isn't the best way to write, but I'm pretty knew at this, and I'm just tring to get more experienced options.
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:iconlytrigian:
Lytrigian Featured By Owner Jan 31, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Why would a were-tiger even WANT to join a pack of werewolves?

Your personality or not, your character sounds an awful lot like Bella.
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:iconatirum:
Atirum Featured By Owner Jan 31, 2013
That twilight girl?

It probably sounds like many, many other characters. She doesn't enjoy the weather because she has to sleep on to floor, if you were homeless more or less because you refused to take advantage of your friends then you would probably not want to move to a wet place either. c:

she really has no other choice, her best friend means more to her than anything, and her best friend happens to join the pack and she doesn't really want to deal with it all on her own.
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:iconsaintartaud:
saintartaud Featured By Owner Jan 30, 2013  Professional General Artist
Damn, good point about tigers.  Don't know why I didn't pick up on that.
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:iconneurotype:
neurotype Featured By Owner Jan 30, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Oh good call, I didn't read that far. :P

Personally the mind-reader stuff and interfering with weres reminded me of Charlaine Harris, though.
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:iconsaintartaud:
saintartaud Featured By Owner Jan 30, 2013  Professional General Artist
Does the storyline interest you?  Then odds are decent it's interesting to someone else.  You don't need permission, just write it.
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:iconatirum:
Atirum Featured By Owner Jan 30, 2013
Thanks, I am just never really confident.
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:iconlovely-words:
Lovely-Words Featured By Owner Jan 30, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Also, why is she living with her best friend's family?
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:iconatirum:
Atirum Featured By Owner Jan 30, 2013
Forgot to mention, her father is in jail and gave up parental rights, her mother ws killed and now that she is old enough she moved out of the foster home until she can afford one of her own.
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:iconneurotype:
neurotype Featured By Owner Jan 30, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
If someone told you it wasn't, would you stop writing and toss it? :|
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:iconatirum:
Atirum Featured By Owner Jan 30, 2013
Probably not, but I just need to know if anyone finds it at all interesting.
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:iconneurotype:
neurotype Featured By Owner Jan 30, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
It's kind of hard to judge anything on premise alone. I mean, 'telepathic girl meets a sexy vampire and solves mysteries with him' doesn't sound that compelling, but personally the first few books in the Sookie Stackhouse series are pretty good.
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:iconatirum:
Atirum Featured By Owner Jan 31, 2013
No sexy vampire involved, its more of a coming of age and finding a way to just- cope.
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:iconneurotype:
neurotype Featured By Owner Jan 31, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
I wasn't referring to your story at all. Seriously, premises are vague.
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:iconatirum:
Atirum Featured By Owner Jan 31, 2013
Not supposed to be to detailed. Sorry, I'm only 13, so its kinda hard to keep up.
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:iconneurotype:
neurotype Featured By Owner Jan 31, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
I don't see how age has any bearing on this. If you don't get something, reread, then ask for a clarification.
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:iconlovely-words:
Lovely-Words Featured By Owner Jan 30, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
If Devin's an asshole, why is he even a viable love interest? Not to mention, were-tiger? Really? That would stand out so badly in small town America. They would be hunted and trapped within a few days, let alone long enough to form a pack. Not to mention that tigers are solitary creatures. Maybe if they were a pride of lions that might make more sense, but I refer to you my previous statement about how inconspicuous that is.
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:iconatirum:
Atirum Featured By Owner Jan 30, 2013
Never mentioned a love interest for Devin.

Since they are were-creatures they learn to keep themselves hidden, I chose a secluded area because of the vast forests around it. The packs will sometimes move if it become obvious, but usually they are good at keeping secrets.

She will eventually let her instincts guide her (hence the name) and go solitary for most of the book.

As you may presume, the pack will try to live normal lives until they can get over their shifting. There will also be older pack members and ancestors to guide them. As unrealistic as it sounds, so are were-creatures. c:
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:iconduerplol:
duerplol Featured By Owner Jan 30, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Yes, it looks like a good idea.
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:iconatirum:
Atirum Featured By Owner Jan 30, 2013
thanks C:
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:iconduerplol:
duerplol Featured By Owner Jan 31, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
No problem ^o^
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:iconatirum:
Atirum Featured By Owner Jan 31, 2013
c:
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